Sometimes I watch court cases on TV. I do learn what is contemporary and real. What is acceptable and what is not. How Judges rule is something to ponder. Thinking about what is right and see how people are wronged too often and in subtle ways. It is the law that a Judge is meant to make whole of what was broken.
Often this brings up feelings and real lived experiences that were broken in my life.
I have written about it before. I then delete the post. Yet until something is made whole it can cause a long time of rendering a healing.
When my oldest son was about 16, he is 30 now, a person wanted to interview me about DC Punk. He came to my house with his camera person and then did.
I had prepared all my precious Flipside material that I have saved and protected all these years for his documentary. I made a giant board and drew dark Sharpie Permanent Marker lines to all the bands and time frames and scene. I was very interested in helping him promote his documentary when it was first shown in Los Angeles.
He took some original KFJC Radio Tapes and Flipside Information and also Flipside Video live interviews.
The night before the reviewing in front of the theater about 15 minutes before the film started, he told me I was edited out. He told me it was because I was not a DC person. Then why did he come to my house in Southern California to interview me?
Yet when I viewed the documentary, I saw that he took my interview concepts and used them as a thread throughout his documentary. Which would have been revealed if he did in fact use my interview in his documentary. The evidence is there.
He led me to believe that I would be on the panel before the event. Yet I was not included. My interview was replaced by Boyd Farrell from Black Market Baby reading a letter from Flipside Fanzine. The only voice that he used was Al Flipside’s who said a few words about Straight Edge.
At the event Ian MacKaye patronized me and Flipside. Talking for me when he knew I was there to talk for Flipside Fanzine and myself.
As a punk rock Los Angeles Flipside Fanzine publisher and writer for ten years, who was once welcomed in the Discord house and slept in his bedroom, and Ian who visited the Flipside Houses more than once, I was deeply hurt by his betrayal of our friendship. Protecting the history of Flipside Fanzine means a great deal to me.
I don’t know where Al Flipside is. He has not shined a light on Flipside Fanzine for the last 18 years. But Flipside was very involved in supporting the DC scene in its early hub experience. All documented very well within Flipside Fanzine. More than some stupid fucking letter.
As a woman I was excluded. I found this so unnerving.
So many people post about how great the film is and how great Ian is. Yet both the creator of the film, Ian and others involved were so uncaring and cruel to me. I just think it needs to be heard again.
He could have just sent me an email before the event or earlier and I just would have not gone. Or not leave me standing alone at another showing. I learn still and I hope some day I will heal from this. Yet it is a thorn in my side.
When I see the yellow Complete Discography on Minor Threat’s cover with Ian bent over, iconic as it is, I see only shame… his shame.
They, he broke my heart. If that is what the straight edge is for… well you can go fuck off.