Cowardice is the lack of courage to face danger, difficulty, opposition, pain, etc. I think we all have times when we experience this type of behavior. I admire others, and myself, who stand tall and cross the line, regardless. Yet, there are times when cowardice can be a dark projection from others. I think every time we become aware of these feelings we should stop and listen to them. Not do what others say we should do, but what we feel is the right thing to do for us.
I was in pain. My head ached. I knew my blood pressure was high. I was hot too. Early in the morning I went to the pool. I stood up to my waist in the cool water. I viewed rounded water ripples radiating out from me. The water hit the side of the pool, across from me, and the ripples radiated back to me. What a simple thing to notice this morning. At one time the two ripples rippled and met together, a joining. I am sure there is a mathematical equation that oldest son might know, yet I am happy to just see it as something predictable but unique.
I viewed a dragon-fly flying circle eights over me and then around the pool. Spirals and circle eights over and over again is the dance of the single dragon-fly. Then quickly, in the wink of an eye, the dragon-fly touched the water with a slight pinch. The dragon-fly took just enough water, in moderation, as not to fall into the water. How delicate and beautiful is the dragon-fly. Dragon-fly did this many times as it danced around the pool.
Even though my head was still in pain, I was instantly refreshed when I dived into the cold water, My cowardice feeling, to not dive into the pool, was overtaken by my own will to feel better. Then as I swan to the other end of the pool, I saw a large dark moth floating dead on the water.
I intuitively can still hear the lesson that nature whispered in my heart at that moment. It is time for me to be as the moderate dragon-fly. Avoiding the life of an overindulging black moth. There was a time when overindulgence was fun and exciting. Now I shall try to dance spirals and circle eights. A slight pinch or sweet sips from life will have to do.
The Cambion… Nimue herself and Merlin all are “denizens of another reality.” How can we humans begin to understand them. Why do we make them evil? Instead, I will enjoy their stories and not judge them. Life is just that, a mystery… like the denizens.
Walking in the early morning is a new part of my routine. I usually walk in the evening because I love capturing the night sky. Today, I had a talk with a local squirrel! The olive tree in front of my house was the perfect place for an official squirrel greeting, First, squirrel dashed in front of me. Then half up the olive tree turned round looking straight into my eyes. The squirrel’s eyes are a dark black brown with a reflective glimmering. A squirrel moves like a humming bird…deliberate movement, fast then still and focused. The squirrel moving away, then came back to look closely into my eyes again! About three feet between us was the distance we shared. This lasted about ten minutes.
I mumbled conversation as the squirrel responded with a deep vibrating sound from within its flexible body, while showing off its gorgeous tail! I would like to think; I am still a bit on the wild side too. I have let myself become too damn domesticated over the years. It is nice to know that I have not lost my touch with nature! This magic, also taught by Merlin the Magician, helps me to appreciate my little wild connection. I feel that nature still knows my name, as it did when I was young!
I looked over. A book was yelling at me to take it and open it up. I did not want to do it. I did it. I randomly did what it desired… for me…to see…
“This investigation was rounded out by the Mysterium Coniunctionis, in which I once again took up the problem of the transference, but primarily followed my original intention of representing the whole range of alchemy as a kind of psychology of alchemy, or as an alchemical basis for depth psychology. In Mysterium Coniunctionis my psychology was at last given its place in reality and established upon its historical foundations. Thus my task was finished, my work done, and now it can stand. The moment I touched bottom, I reached the bounds of scientific understanding, the transcendental, the nature of the archetype per se, concerning which no further scientific statements can be made. ” Pg. 221, Memories, Dreams, Reflections , C. G. Jung.
…Now having passed over this lake in this way, we first went through a narrow arm, into the right seas, where all the sirens, nymphs, and sea-goddesses were waiting for us; wherefore they immediately dispatched a seanymph to us to deliver their present and offering of honour to the Wedding. It was a costly, great, set, round and oriental pearl, the like of which has never been seen, neither in our world nor yet in the new world,… Pg. 62 The Fifth Day The Chymical Wedding of Christian Rosenkreutz
Pearl watercolor by Hudley 7″ by 8″ water color. 2002
A water-color inspired by a strange story. Haunting me in a symbolic world. As a woman I tend to go wandering for things to help my psyche. A feminine soul to be precise. So often in this world today everything is based on the male soul or male journey. Even in my beloved Red Book by Carl Jung I always remember to participate as a stranger in his world; it is a journey of a male. I must hold the hand of my own animus too when I take these symbolic journeys. I feel it is important for women to know this and do this.
“Animus is the archetype of reason and spirit in women. This is the male aspect of the female psyche, as the anima is the female aspect of male psyche.”
While reading from The Red Book a few days ago I came across the Imitation of Christ by Thomas à Kempis. I know the book and have studied it. Yes I understand what Jung is saying but it does not appeal to my sensibility. So I went looking, is there an Imitation of the Goddess? I have come to see that the journey of Christ is a patriarchal one. I respect this yet have reached a point where I have to refrain from this. What came to my mind today is this small water-color I did years ago. The Chymical Wedding of Christian Rosenkreutz has a wonderful image that I grasped and is very friendly to my animus sensibility. “where all the sirens, nymphs, and sea-goddesses were waiting for us.” Which is why I often capture art before I fully understand its meaning. Today I do. I hope I can inspire another female to take such a journey like mine or that this image may help your psyche. A feminine soul to be precise. I know this story holds both something for the animus and anima. It indeed symbolically speaks of a wedding or bringing together of both the animus and anima within each of us. The Chymical Wedding of Christian Rosenkreutz begins with a lovely image and the star above the two, male and female, is a lovely image to ponder.
Have you seen the suicide squirrels? Crazy animals that run across the street. They have a big shadow going on in them as daredevils galore. These crazy squirrels race across the street not looking where they are going. They zoom fast over the road right in front of cars. I slow down in my car and honk and yell trying to save their life. Jerks in cars don’t care and run them right over. A real hit and run. I stay to watch the detorsion dance of death.
Them crazy suicide squirrels. I stay and take care of their final wishes. I always take time to bless ’em and put them in a bag after they die. It is always quick.
A song by Stan Kenton called Painted Rhythm reminds me of them wild beasts, them suicide squirrels. They just don’t listen to me.
“Get out of the street !!” I scream.
The suicide squirrels are damn independent, wild and organized animals… but they got a strange shadow side. A death wish.
Spring is so sweet today. The air honeyed with nectar and the birds are singing. Life can be heavenly but I never lose sight of the shadow. It is important to keep goodness and our shadows at check, or in balance. A good way for our soul. You know the story the brightest light casts the greatest shadow.
Today I am impressed to hear the music of the wild thyme herb growing. Blossoms very small and delicate. It casts a shadow too and hangs best under one dark shadow this morning.
Bless them wild suicide squirrels they got a death wish. I see them dance the detorsion dance of death.
A gift last year, this Orchid fell into hibernation throughout the hot summer. I watered it religiously…. thinking it dead…. surprised when it came to life again this autumn. Now four blossoms …. a gift even sweeter then before!
“1940 is the year when we approach the meridian of the first star in Aquarius. It is the premonitory earthquake of the New Age.” We see how Jung considered earthly occurrences in a cosmic context, with an eye toward the approach of the Age of Aquarius, which was supposed to come after the Age of Pisces in the global calendar. This fact, differently interpreted by the various esoteric groups, was frequently connected with an “age of enlightenment” and great steps forward in spiritual progress. But it is not seldom forgotten that spiritual maturity carries the price of great suffering and severe trials. As Jung was certainly clearly aware of this aspect…” Pg. 333-334, The Second World War, Jung: A biography.
New Age, Age of Aquarius and “age of enlightenment” always put a little fear in me. At this time of the year the dead whisper their stories through dreams, books and biographies. This Sunday I pulled my random book. I started reading randomly. The above quote from Carl Jung’s biography pulled at me. Directly pulling at reflections and meditations of the day.
After an early meditation outside near the bomb shelter; small rough golden and dark green leaves falling from the Cyprus tree onto my head, then down to my lap. Looking up I saw a small song bird right above me on a branch chirping and giving itself a cleaning. I was focused on it. The coolness in the air calmed me as I looked up away further to see another bird flying. A white bird; a seagul or maybe an owl. It was flying South West. A large bright bird highlighted by the rising sun. In my wonder I then looked down to see that the little song bird had left a white bird poop on my lap.
“Nasty little bird…I think I get the hint!!”
I got up and walked towards the house. Both female cats disturbed by my movement, as they had found a temporary warm home near my legs and feet.
Women gathered on the hill. Standing on the grass and dirt. They were silent in the breeze. Waiting. Dressing in gold, red and brown flowing dresses. A cotton scarf placed around her head. Thin material with sequins and graceful threads wrapped around a mummy enfolded.
“Into the tomb I must now go?
The fear of such a place she thought,
“Will they put me there. Alone there I will be. What, will they forget me too?”
A whisper in her ear spoke,
“No you will not go there. You have suffered enough.”
She was free .
Family Buddha in our front yard…
what is greater than this ?
courage is an effort
notice the silent courage of others
it is beyond words
Feeling as powerful as an active volcano of accomplishment.
My Paperback Books for sale on Amazon. Los Angeles Flipside Fanzine Ten Year Anniversary Issue # 54 (replica) Paperback,
1979 – 1989 punk & fanzine publisher memoir. A complementary book meant to read along side the Los Angeles Flipside Fanzine # 54 Ten Year Anniversary Issue (replica). Novel, honest and engaging. A unique story by a woman journalist who wrote about the punk rock scene. Now celebrating 40 plus years of punk rock.
The Semianry Of Praying Mantis Publishing, Non-fiction novella.
Welcome to The Seminary Of Praying Mantis.
Praying mantis shows me her story of life, death, and rebirth. For me she is an image or symbol of the divine in all things. I watch the praying mantis in my garden and have taken her image as my logo. She is an amazing little creature, and I relate to her connection to nature. We are both wild and part of this strange world. She is a part of my mythology as I am part of hers.
I am a living Maenad and practice spiritual capitalism. While also being a liberal socialist. I think when you see my products you will conclude that I share great joy in selling my books. I love writing, water coloring and beyond. I have an underground publishing punk rock history that still pumps in my heart. I believe in the common good.
Stop thinking about art works as objects, and start thinking about them as triggers for experiences. (Roy Ascott’s phrase.) That solves a lot of problems: we don’t have to argue whether photographs are art, or whether performances are art, or whether Carl Andre’s bricks or Andrew Serranos’s piss or Little Richard’s ‘Long Tall Sally’ are art, because we say, ‘Art is something that happens, a process, not a quality, and all sorts of things can make it happen.’ … [W]hat makes a work of art ‘good’ for you is not something that is already ‘inside’ it, but something that happens inside you — so the value of the work lies in the degree to which it can help you have the kind of experience that you call art.
“Scientists know that electromagnetic waves carry information. Radio waves are a common example of how information is sent out via electromagnetic waves. The waves that your heart and brain generate carry information that is sent through your body and out into the space around you, just like a radio transmitter. Yet the heart’s signals have much more power.” – The HeartMath Story, as Told by Founder Doc Childre
I’ve heard it said that the soul doesn’t live inside our body but that it is more like a womb in which we are contained.
Turner, Toko-pa. Belonging: Remembering Ourselves home (Kindle Locations 2739-2740). Her Own Room Press. Kindle Edition.
“This disco guy wanted funk in our sound with 10,000 backing vocals, the guy laughed at Tony when he tried to sing, they treated us like shit. Casey wanted to hit that engineer dick…Posh Boy told us not to play games with him, he’d play games with us. That engineer was a real dick.”
~ Steve Soto ADOLESCENTS
In our over psychological culture, psychological testing substitutes for this seasoned eye and prevents its development. Instead of looking, we test; instead of imaginative insight, we read write-ups; instead of interviews, inventories; instead of stories, scores. Psychology assumes it can get at character by probing motivations, reaction responses, choices, and projections. It uses concepts and numbers to access the soul, rather than relying on the anomalous eye of a practiced observer.
Hillman, James. The Force of Character: And the Lasting Life (Kindle Locations 844-847). Random House Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.
It is the prime task of a truly modern mind to endure both the spiritual and the practical as the framework for her life.
Mysterious in day’s broad light,
Nature retains her veil, despite our imprecations,
and what she won’t reveal to human mind or sight
levers, screws or hammers
cannot wrench from her. ~ Goethe
Faust part 1
Writing has laws of perspective, of light and shade just as painting does, or music. If you are born knowing them, fine. If not, learn them. Then rearrange the rules to suit yourself.
“And just as the soul that is inside your dust.”
~ Pg 8 The Divine Comedy ~ Dante
“I always liked the intensity of the recording.”
~ Chris Bailey from the band The Saints
“Sometimes people try and tell me what is and isn’t punk, or that GBH do or don’t fit in, but they’re generally no older than my socks, and they know about as much. I’ve lived my life doing what I want the way I want to ever since I got expelled from school. Ever since 1977….That’s punk rock”
~ Ross Lomas: From his Book City Baby.
“As I was walking among the fires of Hell,
delighted with the enjoyments of Genius;
which to Angels look like torment and insanity.
I collected some of their Proverbs. ”
~ William Blake, “The Marriage of Heaven and Hell”, 1790
Please if you take anything from this site please tag hudleyflipside.com as the source of this material. NOTICE this is all copyright material Hudley Flipside (aka Hud) and Hudley Mantis…. most importantly ‘Hudley’ is the pen name and pseudonym created by (me) Holly Duval Cornell.