Understanding the Shadow…or maybe it is risky to have a shot of Makers Mark with Tyler Durden.

I don’t know if others working with their shadow experience this or not. Recently I engaged with a lot of creative forgiveness work with others and myself. I call it taming the wild woman within. The symbol that comes to mind is the wild purple thistle that grows on the hills and fields in my town. Interesting to view, sticky, needles all over, and that purple color…wow. Yet, often we tend to cut down and do not give time for this wild purple thistle to come to full fruition. Occasionally we see them in forgotten fields or in an uncut neighbor’s lawn. I love them. I tend to cut them down too. I know that when we do too much healing, or forgiveness and bring that awesome light into our bliss felt little existence, we ignore the shadow in us. Then like the wild thing that it is, it pops up in the most unexpected ways. Maybe it is a projection of our shadow on to a situation that is not to our liking. Be it stress, too much whiskey or pushing our comfort zone. It was a simple thing for me, where a few so-called friends ignored me at a bar? This hurt my feelings so then the shadow monster came forth. I tend to ride the creative expression of the shadow, not suppress it. This, for me, can be uncontrollable expression. I might use my “fuck you finger”, or kick a bar door with my foot. Maybe bring up those elements of the film Fight Cub in my life, as in the relationship between the narrator and Tyler Durden. The relationship being is to fight with oneself and in this film the shadow does motivate an underground revolution. My revolution being the one within myself in relation to the world, but one needs to find balance. The key is becoming conscious of all of this. Achieving this balance then between our civilized self and wild self. If I find wild purple thistle growing in my garden I will let it come to full bloom. I will not let it take over completely. Likewise, if my lawn becomes conservative and meticulous in greenness, I will let some part of it go wild. So here I sit in my bed with possible torn ligaments in my right leg. This is extreme shadow pain. I am hopeful of lesson learned!?

I feel love: RIP Donna Summers

When I think of music and the late 70’s and early 80’s, I think of crashing rogue waves against me of all types of music. There were the discotheques and rock clubs to dance at. Most importantly there were the punk clubs to pogo at… the moving levels of sounds and adventure filled my every cell and heartbeat. The changing styles and then the big watery push to Hollywood High School to see Elvis Costello and then the Clash at the Santa Monica Civic. Donna Summers is part of this experience. I can still taste the sound of her music as a teenager during the 70’s when I engaged in the fright of local and east coast born serial killers, and films such as Looking For Mr. Good Bar.

 

Remembering Friends that have passed on..

I would like to believe there is a strong relationship between sleeping time and the hereafter. This is when a dream becomes a waking dream. As when someone who has passed on, remembers your name, and wakes you up to a world that is strange but familiar. Someone walking by sees you and instantly remembers you. This happened last night. This is the second time Dennis Danell has visited me in a dream. I was woken-up in the dream. He saw me as I was driving by and he came close to the car and said, “Hey Holly is that you?” We talked for some time and it felt so good to be near him again. He seemed happy and involved with the life of the dream. Unfortunately later on another friend of his walked into the dream. This changed things and the dream took on darker feelings. Dennis seemed to notice this and politely led me to a door to say goodbye. I reached to give him a hug. I noticed that he had grown. He was now about six-foot four, much taller than the Dizzy I knew.  How sweet. It is comforting to know that this place between dreams and the hereafter is a place where friendships live on, it is comforting very comforting!

Jung and the image

That is what we usually neglect to do. We allow the images to rise up, and maybe we wonder about them, but that is all. We do not take the trouble to understand them, let alone draw ethical conclusions from them. This stopping-short conjures up the negative effects of the unconscious. It is equally a grave mistake to think that it is enough to gain some understanding of the images and that knowledge can here make a halt. Insight into them must be converted into an ethical obligation. Not to do so it to fall prey to the power principle and this produces dangerous effects which are destructive not only to others but even to the knower. The images of the unconscious place a great responsibility upon a man. Failure to understand them, or a shirking of ethical responsibility, deprives him of his wholeness and imposes a painful fragmentariness of his life.

C.G. Jung: Memories, Dreams, Reflections, Confrontations with the Unconscious Pg. 192-193.

I have worked with the above image for thirteen years. Along with the quote by Jung, I have tried to creatively work with this image… It came twice to me and in different forms. The one to view as part of this essay is the first one. I have researched the image and have a great amount of insight into it. The image is a female presence and is holding something. What my focus is on is the cauldron. A cauldron takes on many mythological meanings. It is not until today that I sense that a name possible can be placed upon this whole figure. Both times I viewed this image I saw it in an in-between place. While looking outside a widow in my apartment, and seeing it reflected in the widow. There was nothing in the apartment or outside to create such an image. This is the place of the void or unknown or the unconscious projecting as an image.The second time I saw a similar female figure but she was holding a smaller caldron and also a large staff.  I viewed this image upon the ceiling while visiting a chiropractor for my health.The image was above me and transparently formed as she transfixed my view. From both of these images I created a stencil and printed them on paper.My goal is to listen to the teaching and advice of Jung on this matter. I hold true to the ethical obligation to this image and sharing it as well.I feel an overwhelming creativity happening now. Is it the full moon or the eclipse of Venus that is on my horizon? I think it might be something of Black Moon Lilith. Is she offering this caldron of the archaic feminine to me in understanding the depth within my shadow? My shadow is in the form of this image. Working on acknowledging the shadow in me and in others is something that I hope to understand more deeply… and maybe this image is whispering the way. The now…what a creative time it is!!

Sister Philomena

Be praised, My Lord, through Sister Water;
she is very useful, and humble, and precious, and pure.
~Canticle of the Sun.
1990:~After I abandoned Al and Flipside Fanzine for pursuing other men, there was something else that really inspired me away from the Punk Scene.. It was the contemplative life. I was in correspondence with the Poor Clares of Long Island for many years. They were part of my journey.  I stayed with the Poor Clares for some time. Their orderly life seemed very pleasant, and adjacent to their closure were the Franciscan Brothers. I would attend their early Morning Prayers with readings from the Canticle of the Sun.  Sister Philomena had a small newsletter called The Monstrance. She was a good friend and it was a dream come true to visit with her. One story I remember her telling me was before she joined the convent. As a young woman she enjoyed the Coffee Frappe while living  in New York City. At that time it was not a poplar drink as it is today. She would go to the Italian corner store and drink them. Now every time I get one…I think of Sister Philomena. I will never forget, as a brother drove me away to the train station, seeing her outside the car window …waving to me in full Habit and holy clothing… as the wind blew, her smile still affirms to me that a life with children was the best choice for me.

by Hudley Flipside on Friday, August 27, 2010 at 2:29pm ·

Personal space ritualistically

10sf1605

We all have our personal space as invisible auras around us. This can be as we see it. It can be experienced or thought of as consciousness, mental, emotional, sexual or whatever.

Today I had something very uncomfortable happen to me where I felt my personal space being violated. I know that different cultures have different personal spaces. I know that my personal space is there but today I experienced a disruption of it. I was checking out at a store. I noticed a young man come from behind me as my items were being scanned. He had one item. Normally, I would let a rushed person with one item pass ahead. Yet, my items were already being scanned. This young man was standing very close. Then I noticed I became confused in the sense that I could not remember my pin number for my debt card. I could not find my driver’s license to identify myself to the cashier. Then I looked over at this young man and he was very close. Before I signed my name on the computer prompt.

I told the guy to back off and that he was invading my personal space. He laughed at me. I was very serious.

Then he asked me how much. I reached out my arm as far as I could and said a little more than this. I then realized to myself , that this is in fact my own personal space. At first I did not comprehend what was happening, but after a quick association and sensitivity I then realized what was distorting my normal functions as a person within my own personal space. I went into the store with a very open personal space. I will not let that happen again. I want to let people know that to earn entrance into my personal space takes time. Maybe burning a little white sage might be the right way of ritualistically awakening the strength  of ones personal space within an environment that is based on a variable of unknown persons. Maybe eyeballing the environment  is what must be done.

Forgive me for any personal spaces I have violated unawares…

In all regards we need to respect another person’s personal space; realizing that when we find others in this life that bond with us, or let down their personal space for us in a complementary way, that it is a blessing. I do not like it any other way.

Punk Museum with Martin Atikins. This evening was NOT on Valentines Day

017
Photo By Hudley Flipside

Welcome to the Music business you’re fucked!

Synchromatic antidotes of his journey reflect what I have been wondering about for some time because they are very much based on synchronicity, music and culture. Yet, this does not surprise me. My antenna is up and I am digging it!!

It is an adventure to go downtown to help at the Punk Museum at KGB Studios. This evening was on Valentine’s Day and I was thrilled to listen to Martin Atikins speak about his life. Considered for his post-punk drumming experience with Public Image he has a lot more experiences to inform us on. His concepts and theories about punk rock are quite amusing and intellectually satisfying. His gentle ways mixed with the word “Fuck” are nice touches amongst his many stories. If you happen to take his picture, he has his stanch down hard, which is bent over with an upturned glare.

one from my generation that still projects the rebellious spark and is still affirming it. 

This is the look of confrontation and knowing which reveals a lot about his character and reflects what the hell he is all about. I did not feel any pretentious qualities in his presence. He was easy, accessible and most likely a very excellent teacher. It inspires me to meet up with such a man as he, one from my generation that still projects the rebellious spark and is still affirming it.  People talk about 2012 being the end of the world; instead I feel it is a time where many will go back to more Intimate relationships and basic communications. Tonight is an example of this and I was glad to be part of it.

Image

http://www.toursmart.tstouring.com/

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Tequila-Mockingbirds-Punk-Museum/205881302822374