A feeling

For me Punk Rock is and was and will always be about how it makes me feel. For me it is not about how you look, not what you collect or who you know. It is about friends that are committed to a way of seeing and feeling life… it will endure as long as it is felt… that wild, focused, rebellious, somethings confrontational and unclassified and as different as the individual.

I just had to say this today…

Two Praying Mantis non-fiction short stories.The Gossamer White Praying Mantis and The Crystal Bowl:

Watercolor Praying Mantis Mandula by Hudley
Watercolor Praying Mantis Mandula by Hudley

Gossamer White Praying Mantis

A dream:  In this dream I came upon my cat Flash tying to jump up to capture and then eat a big beautiful white Praying Mantis. She was resting on some crawling rosemary in front of the house. I was focused when the Praying Mantis spoke to me,

“Do not be concerned with me and what the cat is doing!” I was concerned because I witnessed the eating of a few Praying Mantis the past summer. “I am a huntress too!” She whispered to me. “We both hunt for food and that is a wild part of our nature.”

I then realized the truth of what she said. She was not afraid of my cat nor was she afraid of death. “I know your cat. He has been hunting in this garden for many seasons, as my family has. Didn’t you see one of my babies eat a butterfly?”

I had to agree with her and I was not pleased with that.

Then a breeze blew on us and she spread her white gossamer wings and flew away. I awoke remembering this dream.

 

The Crystal Bowl

When we first moved into to our house I was amazed how the pesticides used created such an imbalance with the insects, birds, and animal in our garden.  It took me many years to reach a balance there that I have today. We once had an avalanche of crickets and black widows galore. Yet with time I befriended the Praying Mantis. This is a short story about my first encounter with a Praying Mantis. The Mantis has helped in the balance of our garden without pesticides.

One day while dusting the house, I dusted a big crystal bowl on the kitchen table. It was usually filled with fruit and vegetables. I looked outside the French widows and saw a big golden Praying Mantis resting on a white plastic chair.  She was gazing in the house at me.  Every day throughout the summer Praying Mantis would come to visit on the chair. I did not know the focus of this Mantis’s gaze. I thought maybe me. I soon found out what it was. A few weeks later I dusted the crystal bowl and reached behind it. I heard a loud screaming shriek. Looking with amazement I found a Praying Mantis there. I looked around and saw that the door was open from the back garden. She came into the house to be near the crystal bowl.  The light of the multifaceted crystal must have fascinated this Mantis.  This is only the beginning of my many experiences with the Praying Mantis from my garden.  I think our life together, on this planet, is about nature and the changing seasons.  She shows me the cycles of life, death and rebirth and affirms that I have nothing to fear!

…as women in the punk scene… …

I find that often men tend to break my pace. They call me names and belittle me…not all of them just a few, yet those same ones are afraid of me, so they only belittle themselves…

Still this song is in the heart of me and “my pace” in life,

Happy summer solstice

The Women’s Encyclopedia Of Myths and Secrets by Barbara G. Walker

This is a book of wisdom and secrets. One of the best sources of information when seeking the underbelly of truth and knowledge mixed with initiation. It is a magic book as well as a fact filled book. I am amazed with the information contained in this book. I use it as a source for all my research projects. A matriarchal support system that unites a global, archaic and historical understanding of women.


The Haunting Flash Mystery

It was a late spring night leading to the hot nights of summer. Sunday at BJ’s got the old appetite going just right. Arriving at 10 pm seemed like an easy sitting for some food and a few beers, yet this was not the case. We were handed a restaurant blinker and the wait began. We went outside to wait under the night sky sitting on the red brick. We watched women in their stilettos, young men and their dates, groups of computer nerd men and happy families coming and going from the late night pub. This evening something strange happened. I did something I usually do not do. I started to scan the hotel Hilton a couple of parking lots across the way.  I would say this Hilton is a 20 story high Hotel. Some nagging thoughts came to mind,

“Look at the lights in the rooms” and “I wonder if I could see any people in these rooms?”

As I scanned the now black and white hotel I realized how the rooms looked fairly empty. Some curtains were drawn and some open, a few lights on.  Then one room pulled me in as a focus magnet. It grabbed me in. I could hear my family talking besides me. Yet, time blurred and I felt time slow down as well. In my view was a large big screen TV monitor which was the size of the hotel room. It was unique and the image was set back but I could tell what it was. The image was the movement of soft hues of blue and it was moving around and around in the dark room. I thought to myself,

“How strange it is to see this, There are not any other room like this one!”

Flash. I saw a flash. This flash lit up the room like an electrical storm, and then I saw the flash again and again go off.  My senses were on edge and my focus was even pulled deeper not knowing at first what pulled me like water down a drain into this drama that was unfolding before my eyes. My over curious mind told me,

“I know that light, it is the flash from a camera, and it is quick and bright and blinding.”

Seconds later the lights in the room were turned on and I viewed the back of a man. No one else was in the room that I could see. He had on a white shirt with long sleeves, a black tie  and he had black hair, wavy black hair. He was a husky man. The room was still dimly lit. Then he took some more shots with his camera. It looked like he was taking his pictures on his camera towards the large TV screen from different angles.  The light from the room went off completely in moments. He continued to take more shots with his camera. Then it stopped.  I was slightly aware of talking next to me again and of people coming and going around me. I clearly said to myself,

“This is so strange and I feel awkward about this, why am I continuing to stare?”

In another moments time he took another picture in the dark. It flashed and lit up the room. I noticed him clearly behind the flash of the camera. He was taking the shot in the direction towards the outside of the hotel room. I woke up and my mind yelled,

“What? He has turned around and is taking pictures from his hotel room of this town, of this restaurant?”

I was shocked like the electric flash of his camera.

“Has he caught me looking at him? Is he communicating to me by flashing his camera my direction?”

The room was far enough away and high enough  not to catch my gaze from the inside of a hotel room. Yet in my mind I was thinking,

“Oh my, he has sensed me, he found my interest. Why is he taking these pictures, of whom is he capturing in his camera in the room? I see no one else there?”

I did not want to watch anymore so I slowly with great strength moved my stare away from the room. I noticed from my peripheral vision that the flash went off a few more times, and as my gaze stopped so did the flashes. The room faded and the restaurant’s blinker went off.  Our time had come to go into the restaurant. We waited only 10 minutes, but my heart was racing from this awkward experience as we walked into BJ’s. The black and white of the night died to the warm bright colors of the pub inside and as I took my first drink of beer I let my paranoid thoughts melt away.

“Will he be waiting for us when we leave; was I a witness to something unspeakable or on the edge of the diabolical?

Unpublished Works@ Hudley Flipside June 2012

Cerridwen & the Cauldron of Cerridwen

http://goddessschool.com/projects/rowenalafae/Cerridwen.html
Maxfield Parrish

 

Her name has come up here and there over the last few days. I am happy to have found her. So many elements to her ways ring true to me. Poetry, the underworld , the cauldron, love-death-rebirth, maiden-mother-crone-… I am very in tune with her and she seems to know me better that I do her. As I am wandering through the dark forest of menopause. I am transforming and changing, stretching and aching. I have reached the second return of Saturn. I am 54 and I am at that place of the mystery of women.  Passing the tests of time of experience, of knowledge~ maybe too I have passed her tests. I hope so. It is not so lonely now. I am ready for story telling, sharing and learning. She is calling me… all women..!

**

 

 

Current Events: Lawmakers to start moving budget through Legislature

“Brown and Democratic lawmakers are in agreement on the approach to the tax plan, which would temporary raise the sales tax levels on the state’s tax and levels on the state’s wealthiest residents. They assume more than $8 billion in revenue from those taxes and anticipate extra cuts of more than $6 billion, mostly from K-12 education, if the taxes are rejected. “

~ Chris Megerian The Los Angels Times

Here we go money talk, I was thinking about how much money these same wealthiest people recently made in donations  to presidential campaign here in California. We are talking big bucks. I have grown sick hearing from people who say “no taxes” and government rip offs. In the above statement  it clearly shows me how the government has to force people to do what is right for the children of this state. Without taxes forced on them there is no money to educate our children. I am sorry but big business and the wealthiest people would not do it any other way. A governments most important element in its power, is in its service to the people. Also to the maintenance of what is created by the people. When these services are cut or put on the lowest part of the totem pole, it is sad. Welfare, healthcare and college financial aid must never even be considered in the equation game of government cuts. These services should be held high as a responsibility by us as the people to uphold and protect over anything else. Any sane person running for the presidency would take that campaign money and give it back right now to the states that gifted it to them. They would say, “Here this is for the people… this is for K-12”. Now, that is the candidate I would vote for. We are not taking sanity anymore..

I see that government is like a fine membrane. It’s function is to protect and serve the people. Kind of like a cell membrane, when healthy all is as it should be to sustain life. Yet, when cancer strikes ‘it is what it is’ and Wall Street is not interested in serving the kids or the people or paying for cancer treatments but it does not have to be this way.

~ Seminary of the Praying Mantis : Nature Politics

Nature politics

With all of the bull that is raping us now about the political media machine. I am sickened by the arrogance of politicians prostrating themselves for campaign monies. I am a liberal and I focus on the democratic party but now I see no difference between Republicans or Democrats. Both are scheming interest eluding sons of bitches. The big wall street lobbyists have them all by the balls. The Federal Reserve System and the CIA are miking the American people like fat cows.. so I decided to go back to my original youthful calling of Nature Politics. The continuity of nature… sometimes cruel but always honest. Dependable yet a mystery at times, but only to enlightenment of a few… so I invite you to go outside take a few minutes and listen and watch the continuity of Nature Politics… very dependable..

Ray Bradbury 1920-2012: The next Generation

While reflecting upon Ray Bradbury’s death, after reading about it in the Los Angeles times article by Lynell George, I was touched by the childlike qualities of Bradbury’s character. A few quotes stood out for me. I would like to share them here and why they are important to me, and profoundly so!

“Bradbury had very strong opinions about what the future had become. In the drive to make their lives smart and efficient, humans, he feared, had lost touch with their soul.”

Though I do enjoy the benefits of technology I can understand Bradbury’s statement. I would be lost on a  typewriter.  He was a genius when using this machine.  I think we need to find places that tend to the soul. I am not thinking about church or religion, but to the qualities of life that sustain the soul, such as reading, friends, music and beer. To plan time away from  others. As an introvert I find that time alone is one of the most precious ways in staying in touch with my soul. Also, to push my comfort zone now and then on some crazy adventure.

A  quote from the article takes another direct quote from Bradbury,

“We’ve got to dumb America up again” he said.

Joe Strummer from the Clash also made a statement along the some lines as, “You’ve gotta be slightly stupid.” To me this is a pun on childlike learning,  understanding innocence and applying this to each moment of life, and to new experiences. The world’s problems can be solved by fresh and creative minds.

Another quote I took from the article makes me think of William Blake, because like Blake, Bradbury had an enormous imagination.

“For Blake, paradise was the human imagination, and he spent most of his time there…His greatest achievement in his poetry and his designs is to carry us with him into such an imaginative world.”  {The Stranger From Paradise by G.E. Bentley Jr, introduction XXV}.

Bradbury states his greatest achievement in a statement from Times Magazine on his 90th birthday,

All I can do is to teach people to fall in love…my advice to them is, do what you love , and love what you do…if I can teach them that, I’ve done a great job.”

In conclusion I was amazed to read this from the article,

Bradbury’s follow-up bestseller, 1953’s Fahrenheit 451 was based on two earlier short stories and written in the basement of the UCLA library, where he fed the typewriter 10 cents every half-houras Bradbury says “You’d type like hell” he often recalled “I spent $9.80 and in nine days I had “Fahrenheit 451.”

What an inspiration!!

Surf’s UP!

I listened to the Beach Boys a lot in the 70’s mostly because my older siblings had their  LPs  around the house and later cause one of my first  boy friends played them. Surfin’ Safari and Shut Down Volume 2.  I experienced their music when I would ditch-school to go to the beach in “Thelma Lu Mosbacker”, the name of my friends light blue station wagon. My first dance and make-out session was to the sound of the Beach Boys. Surf’s Up   Then there was the stupid music essay on songs for english class, “Little Surfer” was the song I played in class. I was humiliated and after that all the guys thought I would score-four with them. I am going to get the new Beach Boy LP That’s Why God Made the Radio  just because they are part of my generation. and once I tried real hard to be a surfer girl… got a D+.. but I tried!! Oh ya, my now x-sister In Law was the girl that the Beach Boys sang about in Fun, Fun, Fun.. !! She is the real Surfer girl…!!

To Lynn Lucero… i wish you loved us more and your addiction less… RIP this song is for you!!