Now a faceless fan or ornery reflective.

“Why me? “

“That is a very Earthling question to ask, Mr. Pilgrim. Why you? Why us for that matter? Why anything? Because this moment simply is. Have you ever seen bugs trapped in amber? “

 “Yes. “

 “Well, here we are, Mr. Pilgrim, trapped in the amber of this moment. There is no why.”

― Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse-Five

Funny, today I see that the DESCENDENTS are playing at The Glass House Pomona CA, while Elton John is playing Dodger Stadium. So, at the same time things are happening. Time is roundabout and bending backwards and forwards. A foot in these “Amber Moments” again.

I first remember finding out about Elton John. My best friend’s sister turned us on to him. Mad Man Across the Water was a LP we soaked into our beings.  

Playing DESCENDENTS The Fat EP. I played it on Flipside Radio where I was the DJ because the band was making rounds sending out their records.

In the neighborhood where my husband grew up. I have seen a few shows at the Tarzana joint Maui Sugar Mill Saloon. Dale Watson, keeper of the true country music flame is singing there tonight.

I feel “Amber Moments” are ganging up on me today.

I like how life long ago seemed more linear in its dimension. Life seemed like an event moving forwards. People and places belonged to each other, and a punk scene to promote. Ya went out and your friends were always there. Anchoring is a good thing.

The best friend now is those darn “Amber Moments,” as ornery reflective as it sounds.

I don’t want to go to Dodger Stadium so big and full of people. I want the intimacy of making a big salad with my girlfriends again, after a long ride on our horses, blaring our Elton John songs.

I don’t want to drive out to Pomona, damn what a horrid drive that is. I want to hang out with the band during an interview and be greeted as a friend not some faceless fan.

Mike Ness said in 2019 as he looked into the audience at the Five Point Amphitheater Irvine, CA. (another horrid drive.)

“I look out and I see fans, if it wasn’t for all of you the place would be empty.”

Mike was too obscure to say hi that night, but our long-ago friendship turned into an empty fan like any other, which kind of does me fine now. Mike is too big for his britches to see me face to face. Only through a manager.

Drinking at bars ain’t what it used to be. My son is on his first Geology field trip, my husband is at work and my oldest is busy with something.

The cats and I are simmering in those “Amber Moments.” A painful bending time of backwards and forwards. I wish it would goddammit stop.

Groovy oldest son has come to take me out to breakfast.  


out in the public again,

waitress, coffee and son…

yummy food

life can balance out again.

Lots of talking about everything.

Little kids smiling,

Unwrapped once more

but I know,

“Amber Moments” well wrap me in a spider’s web again.