The Desperation of Incarceration

Paul Newman from Film Cool Hand Luke~ June 15, 1967

Captain: What we’ve got here is failure to communicate. Some men, you just can’t reach. So you get what we had here last week — which is the way he wants it. Well, he gets it.

October at the supermarket is another routine that brings to our home good cooking, comfort, and kitty treats.

Like most Tuesdays I hit my local Ralph’s for round sushi bowls, a slice of cheesecake and did I mention the kitty treats.

Something was off this morning. As I grabbed my old sturdy cotton Trader Joe’s bags, I saw a guy standing at the curve before the entrance to the market. He was not moving and standing there like a Praying Mantis on a rosemary branch.

I was near him now. Looking around I saw no cars crossing. I walked quietly past him.

As I grabbed my shopping cart, I looked up to see he was still there. Slightly bent to the right but focused forward.

I thought to myself,

“Maybe he thinks he is invisible or maybe he is waiting for someone?”

He was all alone by himself.

I then went into the market. As I walked down a few grocery lanes he slowly passed me by. He walked slowly without a cart. One time he stood in front of me. Still standing with a slight bend to the right side. I said,

“Go ahead.”

He replied while looking down with the sweetest young voice,

“No please you go ahead.”

He had a t-shirt on with shorts and sported tattoos. I walked by him and as I passed a strange familiar desperate darkness was visible to me as I walked through it. I wanted to cry. I know that desperate feeling.

I walked forward and turned down the lane towards the front of the market. Then I saw some black boots and gazed upwards to see a guard standing about 6 feet 5 inches tall in front of me.

He was standing there transfixed on the lane ahead of me. His gun in holster.

I heard the movement of his leather belt and shoes as he walked. In slow motion. Moving as the other strange man moved.

I then realized he was following this man through the store as music danced from the PA and people walked around unaware.

It was as if I was watching two animals in nature. One the predator and one the victim.

I felt a wave of possible assault that I had avoided.

 At the deli I thought to myself,

“Something does not feel right?”

Before this I did notice a strange orange bus van in front of the market to my sideways glance before entering the market.

After ordering some food. The darkness lifted and both men were gone. As I went outside the orange bus van was gone as well.

I was witness to something dark and frightening as well as desperate. As what could have happened but did not. A desperation of incarceration.

Maybe an unsuccessful escape? A prison guard targeting a bird like a cat would. I felt deep grief for this young man. As I drove safely home, I thought upon how the young man bent to the right side.

His quietness and subtle sweet voice touched me. I was stuck with grief again. I reflected on the film Cool Hand Luke.

KFJC 89.7 FM Flipside Radio

Tape One 05/24/84

Host Hudley FLipside

Interview with Nick Adams form MIA.

On track two of this tape is a revealing talk about Creative Anarchists of America and having a music festival, a very prophetic time for things to come, music wise. Yes, it did not take off in the ’80s. So, the story goes. The seeds were planted, and this may be the goal of any anarchist or counterculture individual. (It turned out to be a bad deal in the scheme of things too. Yet this is the history of punk and what was happening at the time. Maybe I’ll share about it sometime. Also tape one and tape 13 got mixed up but I got it all Hunky Dory now. I am just following it through no matter the cost. ~Hudley 10/1/2022)

The 90s grew a few musical sprouts…yup, The Burning Man and Coachella are the mass appeal of something that once started out as a rebellious dream by a handful of nobody punks!! So, the profits go. Believe me I am laughing the loudest!!

Enjoy the tape. Some great bands.

We all were so spoiled back in the day. This is it a type of emotional, punk rock, 1984, found tape, closure for me. It feels good for me, feels really good.

Remember make a music love punk history donation. BE MORE THAN A WITNESS!!

Be more than a ”puer aeternus.”

Overkill on ZoundZ. Sorry but that is how it was… new, rebellious and it meant something.

Thanks for listening.

Tape One 05/24/84 Track ONE

Tape One 05/24/84 Track Two

Didymos & Dimorphos

“As above, so below; as below, so above.”

~ Hermetic axiom

On Monday, a NASA spacecraft will deliberately slam into an asteroid called Dimorphos. The Double Asteroid Redirection Test mission, or DART, aims to see if this kind of kinetic impact can help deflect an asteroid posing a threat to Earth.

Dimorphos is a small asteroid moonlet orbiting the near-Earth asteroid Didymos. The asteroid system poses no threat to Earth, NASA officials have said, making it a perfect target to test out a kinetic impact — which may be needed if an asteroid is ever on track to hit Earth.

Now for names, mythology and more including our psyche. I understand the scientific need to join with other countries to protect this planet. Yet I also feel the need to question how this will affect us too. I am happy to say it is a “mixed blessing,” or “swiftness and cunning,” and “dual-formed.” I am amazed how well this all addresses the wonder of a profound mystery. A lovely one I am beholding to.


Didymos was a mythological Greek hero from Athens. One day, while attempting to perform a sacrifice to the god Dionysus, a white dog snatched the sacrificial animal from him.

Didymos went on to create the Garden of Kynosarges in honor of the dog’s swiftness and cunning. He later built a temple in honor of Heracles, his mother Alcmene, and his nephew Iolaus.

The Garden of Kynosarges was a garden located outside the city of Athens, Attica, Greece during the 5th century BC.


So Dionysos is an ambivalent deity (one of his cult epithets is dimorphos, ‘dual-formed’). He is associated with the seasons, the unruliness and vitality of unchecked growth, the cyclical rebirth of green vegetation, but also with the danger present in all of this. Wine, Dionysos’ gift to humankind, is a mixed blessing. It promotes social bonding but can be destructive if drunk undiluted or in excess.

Poets are shameless

A poem a day… or a season…

If I feel physically as if the top of my head were taken off I know that is poetry.

~Emily Dickinson

Poets are shameless with their experiences: they exploit them.

~Friedrich Nietzsche

‘Therefore’ is a word the poet must not know.

~Andre Gide

Here is something as if “my head were taken off.” Working and “exploiting” Jazz is a wonderful way of feeling good about life. “Therefore” poems really capture feelings of being alive. Or as my sister “shamelessly” said once, “Is-ing.” That is what poetry captures.  

Here is my little project.


Whiskey: the black kitty girl.

Nacho Man: The orange cat.

Mikey: The kitty of the garden.

Bees: On Football bush. (HUM HUM HUM)

The back garden: From the Cornell’s address.

Raven was heard too.

And the rest of my poem speaks for

The day or a season.

Speak Truth to Power

This gave further impetus to the feminist revolt which, if not understood and coped with at its cultural root, could destroy Western society as a similar movement destroyed Roman civilization. The problem is now made more acute by the biological revolution which could, if pushed to its ultimate potential, alter the human race beyond recognition, or lead to its virtual destruction, while still giving the impression that scientific thought can fully comprehend and master that which generated it—Life.

de Riencourt, Amaury. Woman and Power in History . Honeyglen Publishing Limited. Kindle Edition.

Vote by Mail

Strong Women Postcards

Germ tails and little baby Jesus pins

Punk Rock Historian and Professional Consultant

Hudley Flipside

Electrify Me Lyrics

I let this fire burn inside
‘Cuz the love I lost in the alley
She appeared and she disappeared
Into a cloud of grafitti
She electrify me
Radioactive hair stuck in the sky
A plastic bag, a gun inside
Green cowboy boots and her black straight legs
She electrify me
She electrify me
She electrify me
She danced and pogo’d all night long
She bobbed her head like a toy tin doll
She shook her shoulders around so free
She even danced on the ground with me
On the ground with me
She electrify me
She electrify me

Having a talk on Instagram about the “Mosh pit” or “slam pit.” I remember before this when the punk scene was softer but still very real and rebellious. The dance movement had a sexy push to it that was fun and uniting which moved us with each song.

This song captures that time when “Germ tails and little baby Jesus pins” were still around. Yet as the slam pit took over these things slowly disappeared.

This song captures that time when it was so damn special to be a punk. It is romantic and seductive and there was an unknown equation to what it was becoming. Unclassified too. And how we lost something as the punk scene changed.

A lovely song. It is irresistible and must be danced to.

So, I celebrate this nice synchronicity as words become alive and memories shine.

As for stories Dad was the best at keeping us kids interested. He had the gift and I guess he learned this from his mother. Who he said left poems on the refrigerator door just for him. Later she had her poems published in the weekly Santa Monica newspaper back in the late 40s and early 1950s.

It was my mom who asked me to never stop writing and always supported my endeavors.

I even fought and wrestled with the Flipside Fanzine crew to get a Poetry Page in Los Angeles Flipside Fanzine. Pooch continued the poetry page after I left.

Flipside Fanzine Issues 57 Fall 1988

I love to write and especially love to write poetry. It is a time when magic happens. As human beings we naturally engage with memories, with the cosmos, and our feelings. Also, with those large uncontrollable metaphors like our professors tell us.

I was going through my notes and work and found this chapbook of poetry. I was surprised to see it was completed on the day September 17, 2018.

I will be talking this weekend. September 17, 2022. Telling stories with others. It feels great too to join in this narrative of speakers. At a cool pub. I can not think of a better place to talk. My youngest son told me this,

“Mom I just feel so comfortable in pubs, I dot know what it is but is just feels so good. I can just relax and have a pint. Listen to music and have fun.”

We could be talking about the pubs in the stories from Lord of The Rings to the history of William Blakes’ family where the pub was so important in their freedom to speak and sing when the Church of England suppressed their views.

To the characters who linger, who come and go and grow from such a pub. Or simply to those who want to relax and hear a few stories.

Have Another Beer While We’re Here.

Punk Rock Historian and Professional Consultant

Hudley Flipside

For an old gal who still writes letters and keeps her PO Box open though often quite empty.

Dad served in WWII and was once stationed in Adelaide Australia. I recently talked to a professor from Queens University of Technology (urban coastal city of Brisbane) John Willsteed about Punk Rock for an academic book, and I have a few friends from the country. Recently longtime friends the Talley-Jones’s went on an amazing journey in Australia. Yet for me it is selfishly always about The Saints.

Writing letters has always been my thing. I might have written them unreadable at first, but I often would get intelligent and friendly responses. Either way I keep writing them to companies, authors, and friends. In my twenties working on a fanzine, I did spend a great deal of time reading and typing up letters from fans and adversaries for Los Angeles Flipside Fanzine.

One letter I wrote in the late 1970s was to the band The Saints. I never got a response. It was about their Prehistoric Sounds Album I had a question for them.

I remember writing the letter on an old manual typewriter in my parent’s house looking over at the Verdugo Mountain Range of the San Fernando Valley. White out, finding a stamp and an envelope and walking to the Post Office to mail it is a consistent and blurry memory for me, but a true one.

I’m inspired by the band’s edition of a type of horns background band sound. Or as they say a horns section. An incredibly unique sound for me as a youngster. So, I wrote to the record label at the time. Whatever address was on the inside insert or record label for HARVEST. How silly that was but now I find it a very endearing thing for a fan to do.

I saw on Facebook that Prehistoric Sounds came out September 8, 1978, now is a wonderful time to celebrate this album.

Finding out about the Aints much later I can see a band that includes that sound I was curious about. Specially from one of my favorite songs. A nice continuity and happy way to see the endurance of an album, scene, song, or people. Bringing back all those good feelings too!

It’s still a thrill for me.

At one time I talked to music friends about a mystical journey of going to see Chris Baily sing in a pub in Australia. As the story goes, he would go to pubs and sing his songs. One of my friends who was thinking of going along is a local Los Angeles friend whose name is also Chris Bailey.

What dreams I had. A dream is now over due to Christ Bailey of The Saints recent demise, but I still hold the need to visit Australia someday, regardless.

It is so good to be in touch with Ed Kuepper though this electrical fire and still learn things about music, this place here on the internet. That he makes himself very accessible is sweet. I am only one of many fans who are listening.

This story I share is very comforting in a clever sort of way. I think the three fates Clotho, Lachesis, and Atropos are my friends.

People, real people, value others not just their created documents. This is what punk rock is.

Punk Rock Historian and Professional Consultant

Pic by Hilda 1979

I am happy to see many podcasts, films and documentaries about punk rock coming out these days. Books too. It is overwhelming to me. I am approached by many due to my special experience as a punk rock journalist. Some treat me nicely and others are ruthless to get stuff from me.

Be it writing a fanzine, a book, or releasing a documentary film I have done it all myself. I have published fanzines, books, and records. I just completed two documentaries about Los Angeles Flipside Fanzine.

There is always a line to draw out of kindness.

A few years ago, I was approached by a lady who knew nothing about punk rock but wanted to do a documentary about some punk rock skate women. So, she hired a promotional person to gather information. I agreed to do a Zoom meeting with them.   

I soon saw that they wanted to pick my brain. Then when I asked them questions, they got nervous. I told them that I needed to stop sharing with them.

This promotional woman was being paid good money to gather information about punk rock.

I was just brain picking leads for their needs. I call that being compromised and exploited!

I told them if they are interested in a real narrative with a person with valuable experience, they can hire me as a consultant on the film or documentary.

When they got back to me it was by a short message. They could get the information they wanted through an archive. They did not want to have a lived experienced narrative helper. They wanted cold facts and information. Good for them.

There is a difference between behind the scene work or giving an interview to be used in a film or documentary. There is a line to be drawn there too. Or maybe be a source of information for a book; as for a professor in an academic study.

I’ve been used too much. My work stolen, people coming through a backdoor to get money from my hard work, and I am lied too.

I am done.

I came up with the idea of a Punk Rock Historian and Professional Consultant for hire. I don’t help unless it is for a fee. Kinda like a private eye for hire.

It is serious business and most people are cheep. Not me, no more buddy!

From my experience one has to be savvy about these things. To the highest degree.

Send me a message and we can talk project, documents and/or consultant fees.