I can see this means money

At the museum

Putting a financial value on my work, or working,  has been a challenge for me as I get older. How much would an experienced bumblebee bill their nest or tenured crickets get paid for their endless nightly eyeballing politics? A crow carnival barker yelling in the distance, for some hidden merry-go-round, will charge a ride fee!?

My eyes watch as others work. They work hourly and some for monthly salaries. Why am I concerned about my financial value in the scheme of things? At close to retirement age I am still considering working. But, to actually have someone pay me to work for them, seems unnatural to me. We know that USA Olympians sign contracts to advertise their sponsors products. This seems crazy to me too.  In this contrary world we live in it is a must and a reality.

On the borderline of being a senior citizen I researched the perks. With age comes discounts and respectful advantages;  as wavers to go to college for free, or senior citizen discounts at local restaurants. Strangely, inside I feel as wide-eyed and innocent as a 24-year-old in the big bad world. In truth, I am anything but this. I know from experience that a mother, housewife, artist and writer is null compared to a current year of work experience. I do work every day and have great responsibilities. I currently just don’t do it for money. I have sold a few of my things here and there. It feels ok I guess.

I cannot get pass this tall fence. As an older woman this is an absurd reality I face each day which moistens my soul with ironic tears.


Roasted garlic bulb

Roasted garlic bulb is better than sex and my stuffed avocados are better than tantric sex and here’s why! Ah-ah-ahh-ah, ah-ah-ahh-ah


I had a whole punch of avocados and garlic bulbs. An image floated through my mind and I instantly knew what to do.

Recipe for Stuffed Avocados.

A whole bunch of avocados

A whole bunch of garlic bulbs

Seedless red grapes

Small cherry tomatoes

A green pepper

  1. Pull the loose skin off and cut the top of the garlic bulbs. Put in a cupcake pan. Drizzly with olice oil. Cover with aluminum foil and bake 400 F for about 35 minutes.
  2. Cut green pepper up into small pieces.
  3. Cut cherry tomatoes in half.
  4. Cut red grapes in half.
  5. Take one avocado and cut up and mix in a bowl with green peppers and cherry tomatoes.
  6. Season the mixture with some pepper flakes, salt and pepper (I like any of the Mrs. Dash seasonings)
  7. You can put a little mayonnaise if you want.
  8. Sprinkle with NAKANO seasoned vinegar and olive oil.


Putting it all Together.

Put some lettuce sliced nicely on a plate . (or some shredded cheese, so it will not slip around while eating.)  Peel one avocado and cut in half. Place on the lettuce. Channel enough of the mixture to fill the avocado and a bit more. Then for the best part take a lot of those roasted garlic bulbs. Put a little pressure on them and those yummy morsels will pop out.  Garnish with a whole lot of roasted garlic.

If you want to add a little more to the adventure, add some Trader Joe’s Goddess Dressing. A nice creative intimate design on top would rule!

Maybe a 7000-year-old recipe frome the overlords?

Saturn is a God !!

Saturn now !

The Seminary of Praying Mantis



I am studying and reading about Saturn: the mythology, history, archetypal, astrological; and even jumped into some depth psychology and esoteric merging. Saturn could be a God or maybe a Goddess because through meditation he showed me himself as a her that looked and spoke a lot like Lana Turner

Lana Turner is a strong-willed dame that is morally together. She does not jump fences for men and knows herself. She is accountable, beautiful, smart and karma incarnate. Saturn manifesting as Miss Turner in my imagination is good.

My dream embraces a different aspect of Saturn then from my walking imagination. I found myself in a dark horror film. Blood and gore galore heightened my awareness. Dark opaque shiny metal and a large pool table caught my attention. A monster had already taken killed three of my…

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Spinning Tires


Michael Conley 1959 to 2008, Band M.I.A. Photo by Kurt Porter.

I remember Mike’s eldest daughter Alex Conley, explaining at his funeral, how her dad always had to play his music loud, be it in the house or in the car. She did not seem to get it, since they had headphones.

Today youngest son is acting like a know it all teenager. He knows all about art and rock & roll. A stick up his ass. Like an old fart art curator or rusty rock band member. Me I am just Mama Kin… I don’t know a thing.

I stopped to drop him off at his college art class. Before he got out he turned down the music, changed the channel to Jazz, and closed the door. I then changed the channel back to rock & roll, turned up the music loud while spinning tires, and raced away. Mike came to mind.  I was then sitting with his ghost as this song came on. It be cool man. Time for a cocktail. I enjoyed a ride with Mike Conley today.

Youngest son is my friend regardless… we both like rock & roll, art and fast cars. He is a son and I am a mom.

All About A Song, Indeed a Fool Am I

1976 – 1977

th (1)

Son of Sam

I miss dancing at clubs. The Mind Shaft in Calabasas CA was a great little spot to dance. It was a small tree fort type bar with a dance area and small stage for the usual loser cover bands.  We drank outside before entering because we were under age. The drug & drinking scene was damn low-key at the time. No police, no trouble, just a little town. I was asleep, for most parts, to the world around me.

I heard a song today that reminds me of the Mind Shaft. The song No One Knows, by  Queens Of The Stone Age reminds me of a song that a few of the cover bands drank through. I mean  while trying to play their instruments and while stumbling and singing. We still danced.

Yes, it is a similar tune. Funny how certain riffs and tunes can blow over  into new generations of music. I guess if you live that long, one can pick up on these things.  Lost songs that sound like this song woke me up, as well, as the vast amount of serial killers. Fun and scary times.


1977 Holly Ho and Sue Blue with our Mind Shaft T-Shirts, Our Mind Shaft Days summer of ’77.


Libertia: A Tear For Lonely Persephone

The Seminary of Praying Mantis

I wrote this poem on 8/8/88, 28 years ago. The mythology and symbolism defines a change, a pull that moved me on to another path. From music and wild ways to a new life. It did happen. Now when I look back I am amazed at the internal movement of this poem. Today it holds value and this why I am sharing it today.


Athena holds me to her bosom, dear, a sullen tear, I reply in fear. Alas her Owl comes from the west! Calling me to take me from my nest! Stir me up, shake me, I stand naked, as nothing. And her tear drops, I saw it, to the book here, I’m reading.

Alas she cries for all imprisoned women! Pregnant and within her presence, Now, I want to die, where could I go? death would not hide me from her! Inspire me, Aphrodite with love…

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Sugary Red Rose

A cup of tea
A piece of white cake with thick frosting with a sugary red rose
The howl of the wind outside my door
A fire in its place
The sound of lightening and the smell of rain
Cold weather and colder feet! 
Kitties cuddled close by me
dark clouds and a good book
knowing that the winter night is upon me.


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My Chap-Books of Poetry


A happy spit in the wind…

FLipside Fanzine

December 1979 is around 37 years ago. A very tight and small club of mutual fans, promoters and band members were a rebellious team. Before Henry Rollins galore, when the underground punk scene was unique, new and growing as a wild-fire.  I swear our agenda was as sincere and planned as peeing on the walls. I use to take a few photographs back in the day as the shift from Hollywood to Orange county became the thing like a large earth quake. Los Angeles Flipside Fanzine was there hanging with the scene. Drunk and wild as a windblown day.

I just signed an agreement to releases an image I took a long time ago about the punk scene for a film called “20th Century Women.” The image is my intellectual property.  Some day when, hopefully, my grand-kids or great grand kids are viewing this film they may take to heart what their “grand ma ma” did for an underground punk scene. It feels good to share a history with a company that respected my rights. They pursued me with respect and integrity. It feels very good in the scheme of my life. There are many stories from THE BIG PUNK ROCK this is mine.

The photograph is of Black Flag at the Church with Keith Morris singing after they had officially broken up, a unique photograph is the photograph that I have licensed today. It is not about the money, it is about how I am still amazed that anyone would care about a hot, sleazy, little underground church basement in some place called nowheresville some 37 years ago… because we knew at that time, at that time & place, that no one gave a fuck! I am amused that this lost sentiment has changed. I am happy to signature this agreement today.

The Journal : Out Today…

The Man: A new Flopside comic Strip character…

THE MAN a new FLopside Comic Strip character. entertainment by the PEASANTS and the Rusty Blade…

“The Man, no one sees the man, if they do… they live on borrowed time” ~ The Line-Up 1958

The Man Who Sold the World” is a song written and performed by David Bowie. It is the title track of his third album, which was released in the U.S. in November 1970 and in the UK in April 1971. also
Stayin’ Alive” is a disco song by the Bee Gees from the Saturday Night Fever motion picture soundtrack.
Performed by the PEASANTS and the Rusty Blade….
No profit … it is done on a love bases…


Pokémon a Go Go


Charmander my first one today…

Last night the kids hit the streets looking for Pokémon ! I was not really into the whole thing, even though my oldest son grew up and knew all the players ! The first movie I took oldest son to see was the first Pokémon movie, Pikachu’s Summer Vacation. A delightful cartoon animation and an enjoyable new experience for the both of us ! His generation grew up with Pokémon, The Matrix, Lord of The Rings And Harry Potter. He read the books and played the games. It is natural that his buddies, and my youngest son, would enjoy this new phenomena socially! It is cool they are gathering at places with other Pokémon enthusiasts!

It reminds me when my buddies and I hit the streets. We cruised Van Nuys Blvd in Van Nuys Ca. ! We drove up and down the Blvd. with a loud car radio blaring! We gathered with others socially too and made new friends. (before gang, drug or cop problems) I see that my kids’ generation has a new thing going! I joined in and already caught two Pokémon. I may not get into this stuff as I did cruising Van Nuys Blvd in the ’70s, but it is free and kinda fun as cruising was! It is not hurting anyone!

Van Nuys Boulevard Cruising: Early 1970s