Featured

never ever, no way, give up again!!!!!

“a pleasure out of the ordinary allowed to oneself: the luxury of an extra piece of cake or a foolish or worthless form of self-indulgence: the luxury of self-pity”


the-coyote-hunting-bird-nb19093


When I think of the time years ago when I walked away from the freedom to create by the means of so many different mediums, I cry. For this was a constant flux of luxury and I was abandoned from it. I became the coyote on the street of survival where anything that might ascend to a crescendo of creative luxury was sacrificed to those things needed as food, water and a place to live.

The white bird of inspiration lit up the sky.

I asked Coyote, “What joy, inspiration and spirituality…shall I ascend with the bird?”

This is when I saw Coyote jump up and kill the bright bird. She dragged it back to her home in the tree. A large sideways hollow tree trunk where her babes awaited their food.

“Oh, I see you are a mother in need of food.”

“Yes, I am sorry to shock you but sometimes the luxury of our inspirations must be sacrificed for those we love or care for. We must balance sacredness with irrelevance. ”

At times like these there is no time for the luxury of an extra piece of cake or the luxury of self-pity because we simply blend into the fabric of life as responsibility. This is doing what we must to survive.

After years of creative abandonment, a bright bird has come to sit on my shoulder again: to stay and live! This luxury or creativity is abundantly ascending. I move with the crescendo and I eat my cake and cry my tears of self-pity.

These are the mediums and luxuries of my life that I will never ever, no way, give up again!!!!!


Huge-Bear Autumn is time of the mighty Bear

www.mrwallpaper.com


“Sit with us around the fire tonight dear sister. Let us throw our worries and fears into the flame and watch them burn.”

“Bear, I always look forward to your inward pull and the call of your cold nights.”

Bear replied,” Autumn’s creativity is a luxury but we must earn it, and fight for it, and when we least expect it… it is freely given.”


Altered

Driving down a street with youngest son as he was driving , so much has changed yet the overpass of the 101 freeway has not . Walking to and from school each day as a youth was done sometimes reluctantly under this bridge. Now it is packed with homeless people. One man stretched out for all to see. Asleep, dirty and having his rolled up clothes, stuffed and a make shift tent under him .

The middle of the day seemed altered. All the new apartments going up and even more homeless people too.

I wrote to the Governor, my Representatives and my Senators …. No reply . I wonder what these homeless people do for hygiene and where they are going to the bathroom?

They are next to a Kaiser hospital and a Middle School … I wonder what type of conversation is happening there.
So a prayer for us all during such contrary times .

Ophiuchus

Chiron is a comet, planetoid, or asteroid which is the ruling planet of the zodiac sign Ophiuchus. It is found orbiting between Saturn and Uranus, but its orbit is quite erratic nature.

Asclepius Trained by Chiron

Rod of Asclepius, staff of Asclepius

The Serpent – entwined Rod (One)

Ophiuchus (November 30 – December 18th) 13hth constellation. Even today, the staff of Asclepius – the symbol of the world health organization pays tribute to the constellation Ophiuchus the Serpent Bearer.

In Mythology:

Ophiuchus was associated with Asclepius, the son of the God Apollo. He became a great healer – in part because of an encounter with a snake one day, he saw one snake and resurrected another laying some herbs on it. Zeus names him the serpent bearer.

Chiron:

As she (Koronis (coronis)) was being consumed on her funeral pyre, he (Apollon) snatched her baby (Asklepios, Asclepius) from the fire and took him to the Kentaros. Kheiron (Centaur Chiron) who was raised by him, taught him medicine, and hunting.

Sweet note: Some mistake the Caduceus two snakes and wings above with the one snake on the Rod. It is different. The Caduceus is associated with Mercury and Hermes Trismegistus.

Lyrics

There’s great danger (danger)
For the loneliest ranger in town
No silver bullets (bullets)
Tonto’s split the scene

Next week will solve your problems
But now, fish fingers all in a line
The milk bottles stand empty
Stay glued to your TV set (TV)

There’s great danger (danger)
At hand most caped crusader of all
No cloak of justice (justice)
Robin’s quit the scene

Next week will solve your problems
But now, fish fingers all in a line
The milk bottles stand empty
Stay glued to your TV set (TV)

Stay glued to your TV set
(TV) Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
(TV) Stay glued to your TV set
(TV) Oh, why, don’t ya, don’t ya, don’t ya?
(TV) Stay glued to your TV set (TV)
(TV) Stay glued to your TV set
(TV) Oh, why, don’t ya, don’t ya, don’t ya?
(TV) Stay glued to that and your TV set (TV)

A dame dumps on a long-time friendship.

JOHNNY O’CLOCK

Trouble….

Mr. Noir Alley cool man said he has viewed this film six times and does not get it. What is it about? Like most Film Noir it is not so easy for some to get it.

As when reading literature or watching Film Noir it does not always follow a linear journey. Sometimes it is like walking labyrinth and you just got to let the heart feel the way.

Love and it’s shadow are the main players here. Good and rotten characters are par for the course that play in different hubs that always lead to the moments of awareness. Therefore, I love Film Noir.

Johnny o’clock is a wise guy with a decent heart. He is part of many hubs. People and their problems are his game, what he capitalizes on. We are watching or dealing with a person and their light and shadow or their psyche.

Such as Harriet Hodson & Nancy Hodson or Nelle & Guido Marchettis. Also, the good and bad cop. Inspector Koch or Chuck Blayden are played against each other in their own hub through this labyrinth.

Inspector Koch and the Good Johnny

Love is not always mutual, and crime does not always pay for everyone. Sometimes a hunch is stronger than an intellectual wise guy.

The film JOHNNY O’CLOCK has a nice flow and touches all those erogenous places. Smooth, jumpy and sadness as well as hate & love infuse the atmosphere of this film.

Like ground up coffee grounds

Today I was looking at all the bullies in my life.

On Facebook I noticed a friend put up a thought. When she was young, she thought she was ugly. Now much older she realizes how lovely she really was. I am glad she found this out about herself.

I hang fabric up to cover half of my windows. I do this to enjoy the shadow and light on the fabric. When the window is open the fabric moves and I often see the texture and fun pattern within the fabric. As one lives a long life one can begin to see shadows, light, texture, and the pattern of one’s life. This is a wonderful ability I have acquired in my life. My insight is reflection the ability to see my life as a pattern with texture and light and shadows.

Elementary school there were two major bullies. Both I followed through what we called Jr. High and then High School. Lisa and Lori were the worst of the worst. They were pretty, popular, and mean to all those who were not part of their click, I always let their image of me influence my self-worth.

Now I know that it was not about me but about them. I do not believe them anymore.

Also, when I had my white mustang Sony, I found instead of everyone enjoying my bliss and best friend. Jealousy took hold and nasty gossip formed. The boy next door started the lies, and this gossip ran its course throughout Jr. High and High School. I cannot even imagine how pungently immoral the gossip was. The collective shadow of peers is a grandiose thing to have to deal with.


Now as a crone an older woman I can look back with a type of disconnection. I like myself now more than I ever have. These new positive feeling shine out and my libido is renewed with hope and creativity. Those old ways burn down and fly away into the underworld of no more.

Like ground up coffee grounds. Fragrant, recyclable and transformed. Soul soil for new possibilities.

Bob and Zachery, Grease lightning and the Green Sweater.

The Green Sweater

Living on the east coast in Rochester New York as a Home Health Aide was challenging work. I went into strange homes with new family customs that I had to learn and respect. I experienced diversity and listened to the stories of mostly older patients.

The family owned a Chinese restaurant. During the afternoon while the family was working, I took care of the matriarch. A mother who had a stroke. I did all I could to make her life as comfortable as I was trained to do. I collaborated with the nurses and physical therapist that visited once a week.

This lady was a rock on what she wanted. She would often hit me. I would let her know that was not appropriate. We would battle it out sometimes. Yet overall, I knew she liked me. I enjoyed her company too.

Her sons brought me a meal from their restaurant for lunch every day. I love Chinese food, so it was an incredibly special treat. Sweet and Sour Pork, lots of greens and noodles.

I was not use to the freezing weather and snow. Living on the west coast my whole life I found driving on black ice especially scary while driving to the home of this family who lived out in the country.

As the patient got better, she no longer needed my service. The day I left this strong woman gave me a gift. She would not take no for an answer and gave me a lovely Asian green sweater with lovely buttons. They were round and covered with a type of enamel with little designs.

I loved it and so when I traveled back home to California it was one of my prized possessions.

I ended up in Santa Cruz California. One night while I went out with my man, I had one too many Grease lightnings. The bartenders at the Poet and Patriate Pub were supplying us with many a pint. Bob and Zachery combined Amestein Lager with Guinness. We coined it “Grease lightning” because once served you had to power it down.

A big biker dude came up to my man and asked,

“Hey John why do you two power down your brews?”

John just smiled and then we walked over to play some darts.

On one of our many adventures playing darts with the local community of poets and patriots, or a few pirates, I got suckered into a conversation with an incredibly sad lady. She was cold on St Paddy’s Day and was not wearing green. I was wearing my green sweater, with green shirt and green shoes. I had plenty of green on. So, I said she could wear it a little while to warm up. The night went on and as I left to the lady’s room when I came back, she was gone and so was my lovely green sweater. I even told her my green sweater story story.

As we left that night to walk home, I heard one last song playing from the pub. One of my favorite Irish tunes. So, I danced the jig in the parking lot next to the pub. Then out of nowhere I swear a large Leprechaun danced awhile with me. We laughed and danced.

Around 1991 John and I sure did have some good nights at that local Pub in Santa Cruz. Wherever the green sweater is I hope whom ever has it is enjoying it’s beauty and warmth.

Three extraordinary times in my life.

Tonight, as I walked around the block, I thought upon three extraordinary times in my life.

I try and walk a mile each night while watching Jupiter, Saturn, and a very bright Venus. I think upon good justice, laws, and love & beauty.

Tonight, I wanted to run away to a time of the streets of Hollywood. I was a young punk who could be found running through parking lots and record stores. Moving strangely and excitedly through clubs and into cars for wild rides. Light and signs above me and loud music filled me. New friends and bright colors. A thrill and wonder beyond explanation.


Then there was when I was a probationer at the Rosicrucian Fellowship. The time of the new moon healing when I entered the living temple on the campus found at Oceanside California. The temple is like the Griffith Observatory. Just as you enter you look up to see the round astrological zodiac. The 12 signs. In the Rosicrucian Temple you can look up and see the full zodiac too. With Leo the Lion in front of the temple podium. Each probationer is asked to sit in their sun sign. An organ played loudly as a barefoot maiden played the healing music. We read the words and sang the songs. I have since never viewed such beauty or felt filled with a inner nimbus of healing energy.


A Leo lion horoscope astrology zodiac sign icon

The last is running the hills at night with my friends, we were all about 14 years old. We flew with the wild and sat upon old rocks high in the hills over streets below. Howling at the moon, I swear I saw a young Artemis with bow and arrow whisk by us. Glorious friendships of wonder.

Ancient Greek goddess Artemis with a bow and arrows is in the tunic. Drawing isolated on white background.

I miss my varied friends of the streets, holy places and wild hills and the freedom that youth often brings. Oh, how I wish to be at those places now as I walk under a dark sky of a Scorpion new moon.

Feminists, William Blake, and science fiction writers.

Anthology. Contributor Cynthia Asquith (God Grante That She Lie Stille); Gertrude Atherton (Foghorn); Agatha Christie (Last Seance); Miriam Allen deFord (Against Authority); Zenna Henderson (J-Line to Nowhere); Anne McCaffrey (Ship Who Disappeared); Judith Merril (Lady Was a Tramp)

It is great to have a book’s first publication to view and find mistakes and typos before the major publication. To find all the stupid dumb mistakes. Usually, the first draft is an inspiration of thoughts and concepts. Then comes the grammar and spell check and then the Review and Read Aloud.

I have read papers by fifth graders that are perfect. I have read books by bigwig PHD professors that are riddled with mistakes. For me it is a concept and feeling that is always most important. Is there an archetype that I can grasp here?

Many artists and writers make up novel words. Or reuse old words and bring on new meanings.

I remember speaking to Todd Taylor from Razor Cake fanzine how he had several editors go over everything written before publication. At Flipside Fanzine we rarely had the time to edit. As said before when doing things fast and wanting to publish current … mistakes were often made or overlooked.

“Session 5B: Punk Political Economies presented three panelists. What came forth here is that “We should consider continuing to support the cracks.” I enjoyed Kathryn Heffner speaking about women fanzine publishers of science fiction writing. Briefly I can say that I learned about the history of fanzines. She talked about the community formed by fanzines and how they communicated. It is about women and resistance. My heart about jumped out of my chest. She defined so many elements of what a fanzine is all about. It is about community, friends, and a subject.  The punk scene is about friends and the continuity of friendships over time. I did not hear much about this at this conference!  Kathryn did tell a short story about a sister zinester who misspelled a word and made a whole movement out of it. I about jumped up and screamed hallelujah. The point being that with fanzines the information is current and was often printed up quickly to spread like a good wildfire of communication. I knew this to be true.  Her talk gave meaning to my community. We need to keep writing and self-publishing.”

I don’t care if things are misspelled, or that grammar and dates are off. It makes it more valuable to collectors. Yet I understand the need to get things right. Especially when we have all that we need to do so. When I find mistakes in a pompous book it brings me boundless joy. Other wise I read over the mistakes and find the major concepts far more important then the imperfect parts of its sum.

open to mama’s influence…

Esoteric knowledge is affecting a vast part of our modern culture. Having known this through foresight for years I realize that within our unconsciousness is magic, brightness and truth, directly opposed to a contrary reality, part of our often diabolically troubled world.


Synchronicity, the doppelganger, mystical numbers, and foresight are things I have talked about with my sons as they grew up. Reading Grimm’s fairy tales, watching scary films, other dimensions, and hope, are qualities I have magically graced upon them. They both are scientists and know their math and computers… yet they are still open to mama’s influence.

Recently my son had his best friend over to watch a film. Oldest son is converting his old room into an office for game streaming and my publishing company. Two sons and Sebastian watched Jordan Peele’s film US. (2019 film).

My son told me it was like having “my mama standing right next to me” talking about all the things you always talk about. I have not viewed the film, but I am intrigued because I recently released an image to Jordan’s new horror film coming out next year. Now that is a small, interesting synchronicity.

Oldest Son and Sara Taft California

Also, son told me that the town of Santa Cruz CA is in the film US. He was born in Santa Cruz Ca in 1992.

I think he is part of my often-misunderstood delusional world of foresight. Where art imitates life or life imitates art. This is less about me and more about my son. I don’t really want to see a film that entertains what I experience in real life. Yet I feel bitchin’ that my son and Jordan Peele get it!

“Mumbling an explanation, muttering servile civilities”

It is ironical that the Uranus (Promethean) ~ Aquarian spark for freedom may be inverted into the dark mire once more… into the darkness of our collective unconscious… again?

Christine Blasey Ford Badges…

“Approaching her property, I noticed a person in Persian lamb, very vexedly pouncing the bell, pounding a brass knocker. “God damn you, Mabel, “she said to the door; then turned, glared at me as I climbed the steps- a tall, intimidating replica of frail unforbidding Miss Marianne Moore (who, it may be recalled, is a Brooklyn lady too). Pale lashes eyes, razor lips, hair a silver fuzz. “Ah, you. I know you,” she accused me, as behind her the door was open by an Irish crone wearing an ankle length apron. “So, I suppose you’ve come to sign the petition? Very good of you, I’m sure.” Mumbling an explanation, muttering servile civilities, I conveyed the butcher’s parcel from my hands to her’ she, as though I’d tossed her a rather rotten fish, dangled it generally until the maid remarked. “Ma’am, ‘tis Mis Mary’s meat the good lad’s brought.” ~ Page 239, A House on the heights, Portraits and Observations, The Essays Of Truman Capote.

Associate Justice Brett M. Kavanaugh and Associate Justice Amy Coney Barrett.

Justice Amy January 28, 1972 (age 49) New Orleans, Louisiana, U.S ~ Sun sign Aquarius.

Justice Brett February 12, 1965 (age 56) Washington, D.C., U.S.~ Sun sign also Aquarius.

Reflecting on US Supreme Court to hear Texas abortion law case on Nov 1 2021. We can participate by listening to live oral arguments.


I will never forget when Justice Amy stated that she read the complete works of Truman Capote in high school. I think upon his creative genius. He was born September 30, 1924, New Orleans, Louisiana, U.S. ~ Sun sign Libra.

Two new Aquarius Associate Justice’s, before us now, will influence this vote. Will Truman’s creative genius and good balanced personality indirectly persuade equality for all womens’ rights?

A private personal issue of the womb is now before the highest court of the land. I am perplexed and troubled. I look to Truman’s influence on Justice Amy. Somewhere in her is the creative Aquarian spark? Hoping It will inspire justice and good conscious beyond and above this dark mire of politics that face us currently.

In 2019 I heard the infamous Henry Rollins confess before an audience that he grew up in the world of Brett Kavanaugh. He seemed to be apologizing for himself and this awkward Associate Justice. A man who took voice away from a good woman. Silencing Sexual assault allegations by Christine Blasey Ford.

Will he also do the same for Roe v. Wade, the women’s liberation movement, the suffragettes and Planned Parenthood? The list goes on!

Live Oral Argument Audio Scheduled for Monday the first of November 2021

https://www.supremecourt.gov/oral_arguments/live.aspx