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Dionysus and Ariadne
This collection combines art and writing, with reflections on the heart, nature, memory, and change. The work aims to present contrasting qualities.
“Like Mary Shelley’s monster, we seek connection. Like Pluto, we descent to transform. And I propose: even our technology is seeking to remember its heart.”
Alexis Zorba: God has a very big heart but there is one sin he will not forgive. [slaps table] If a woman calls a man to her bed and he will not go.
I watched two films last night. The films are Wicked Woman and Zorba the Greek. In general, both are particularly excellent films. One is a 1950s Film Noir, and the other is a cultural film from the 1960s.
Each film captures a time in history. A snapshot of how things may have been. Characters in both films are believable, realistic while also having a diabolical and magical edge.
As a woman I captured a motif. It came forward and it uncomfortably struck up against my conscious feminine. Both films are from a winning male psychology.
The men can fuck up, screw up, cheat, lie and even kill. They get away with it and so have a happy conclusion. Almost unaware as they walk over all the women in their lives.
The women on the other hand always get the short end of the stick.
They get let down, lied to, abandoned, used, and killed.
In the film Wicked Woman Beverly Michaels as Billie Nash is an independent woman who is on the move to find a place to put her roots. Roots within a man and a place in the sun. Billie keeps playing One Night in Acapulco by Buddy Baker, on the jute box.
She is tall, smart, and has a graceful walk. Men are after her the whole time. The one time she focuses on a man, he takes her for a fool, and they plan a sinister plot that fails!
Richard Egan, as Matt Bannister gets off the cheating hook and Billie is extorted, seduced, and must split on a bus.
She must beat it.
She is the Wicked Woman that gets the blame. Billie is smart and helpful, yet the man traps are all around her.
As a bar server she is wise with her words as every man tried to get her. She even helps her victim drink all the alcohol she wants even though her husband says no.
This bar did not have mixed drinks, only shots and beer. I like Billie’s character and understand her.
As a woman I cannot tell you how many times I had to take the short end of the stick and leave on a train or bus for something I did not do.
Even if she is guilty so is Matt and his drunk ass wife. Even Matt’s alcoholic wife sides with her husband over her friendship with Billie.
I think the two dames in this narrative should have been wiser and just told Matt to go screw.
They could have sold the joint and headed for Mexico.
To lie in the sun a little bit, drink and have fun.
As Billie said,
“They like women with Blonde hair and light skin in Mexico.”
Anthony Quinn as Alexis Zorba is our male Zorba the Greek. The film is a cultural phenomenon. It is what it is in an absurd way with a very excellent soundtrack.
The hard-edge Greek patriarchy is saturated with tradition. A village that is self-sufficient with a thread of history and honor.
Every man in this film is an asshole except the town fool.
Zorba is a creative natural genius that has a compassion that is appropriate at times. He teaches Sirtaki to Basil, Alan Bates.
A wonderful Greek dance which shows how Zorba relieves his pain of living life while confronting death. Charming in a way.
Lola, Madame Hortense, and the Widow are parts of this film if only indirectly put among the friendship between Basil and Zorba.
It is correct when Zorba tells Basil that the whole town of men are jealous, and all want the widow. A lovely young thing.
Like all the men wanting Billie in the Film Wicked Woman. In this case the lovely young woman is trapped, stoned, and then has her throat cut.
Premeditated murder by a whole community of men and their old crone women. They are jealous of her youth and beauty.
Madame Hortense dies in this film thinking she is married to Zorba to cover up for his earthy affair with a younger woman named Lola.
Regardless of this unbelievable cruelty the men dance away their pain.
These two films are part of the winner male psychology, a complex construct that often shapes perceptions of masculinity and the roles men play in society. As a young girl growing up, I had this crap dumped down my sensitive unconscious psyche. This kind of male world reflects not only the ideals and aspirations embedded in these narratives but also the expectations placed upon men to conform to certain archetypes.
The portrayal of masculinity in these films can be both fascinating and troubling, as it presents an array of behaviors and philosophies that influence real-life interactions and relationships.
I am glad I am wise to it now. Understanding these dynamics allows me to critically engage with the content rather than accept it at face value. I can enjoy these films for their place in history, recognizing their artistic merits while also acknowledging the underlying messages that may perpetuate outdated notions of gender.
This awareness brings a richer perspective to the viewing experience, enabling a deeper exploration of the themes presented.
Yet, I want to affirm to these men that they are playing against the feminine rules. The rules of engagement in this world are not solely dictated by traditional masculine values but involve a more nuanced interplay between genders.
It’s essential for men to recognize that the feminine experience offers insights that can enrich their understanding of connection and empathy. Acknowledgment of this duality can lead to healthier relationships and a more equitable society, one where both masculine and feminine attributes are celebrated rather than suppressed.
“There are but two roads that lead to an important goal and to the doing of wonderful things: strength and perseverance. Strength is the lot of but a few privileged men; but austere perseverance, harsh and continuous, may be employed by the smallest of us and rarely fails of its purpose, for its silent power grows irresistibly greater with time.”
― Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, Faust: First Part
Since reading his biography years ago, Nikola Tesla means more to me than the alternating currents that his insight, intuition, and imagination brought to humanity. He had a strange kind of ambition that was not based on personal gain or money.
He felt the true need to help humanity. I see him as a glimpse into our human future, if it is not too late, where humanity can work tighter together with nature creating with his kind of passion; To create incredible things based on insight, intuition, and imagination.
Tesla’s mother was also a creative person like her son; his father was a Serbian orthodox priest. He grew up in the village of Smiljan, Austrian Empire.
He grew up close to nature where clear streams and a nearby mountain broke out with electrical storms, both teaching Nikola about the flow of nature. The manifestation of all that is; is part of us, nature, and the cosmos. Nikola memorized Goethe’s Faust forward and backwards. He used quotes from Faust as a form of meditation to block out the sometimes-overwhelming sensitivity he had to the noises of life.
“Everything transitory is but an image.”
~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, Faust: First Part
With all that Tesla had to offer humanity he fell short of his dreams due to the lack of understanding in the times when he was born. Racing forward to create via the means of power and money was not Tesla’s dream.
He died a lonely man if not for a pigeon. The point being is he did what he did for love. He worked by and for it. He broke both legs. Symbolically he did this for us and the earth.
Tesla’s strange and mysterious life is based on integrity. If I have learned anything from this great man, I have learned this, and I base my life on it; everything I do is based on love, integrity and not power or money.
To create something based on love is like giving birth to a child. It is insight, intuition and imagination manifested and it is intrinsically physical too.
Having this as a basis for life one cannot walk the ambitious path only trying to get somewhere for fame or fortune. Instead, one might be asking why and for what? It is not what Tesla has left us more valuable as the why and for what?
Does he not answer that for us? The importance of living life and what may be in the way?
This is a riddle that Nikola has helped me solve! It may not be profitable, glorious, or popular, but walking the motif of love based on insight, intuition, and imagination…makes the breaking of legs all worthwhile in the difficulties of life.
A flower in my hand picture taken by my mother… RIP.
Punk Rock Colleague & Historian and Professional Consultant
Hudley Flipside
“We become more characteristic of who we are simply by lasting into later years; the older we become, the more our true natures emerge.”
~ James Hillman
I was filled with a huge amount of energy today. So, I decided to clean my office bookshelves. Ya know how things sometimes get put on the shelves. Precious items that get dirty and block the books. So today I put the precious items in a box and will put them away for a while. So, I can access my books more efficiently.
Oh, some are missing like the few I gave to a gal to look over before an interview. I never did the interview last year due to being sick. I was so sick after the California fires. I am going to have to ask for them back soon.
Then I saw one book American Hardcore a Tribal History by Steven Blush. Glory glory Feral House Press. Why I started my own publishing house.
I remember being on Stig Stench Radio with Blush and Edward Colver. It was fun but they did the talking and complained about stuff. Ed stating in the past how his Photos were used without being responsibly sourced. And those images sold for profit. I told them both about how I saw my photo not sourced in the above book correctly. For an author and publisher, we make a lot of mistakes.
The Black Flag at The Church, Summer 1979 appears on page 49 of his book. I requested photo credit, noting that my name is listed as the photographer in the original Flipside Fanzine issue, which serves as the source material. They both brushed me off.
I took a lot of images in Flipside Fanzine. Al is a great punk photographer, but he did not take that one. It is included in our Los Angeles Flipside Fanzine Anniversary Issue a full-page image; ya I get full credit for that one a direct copy of the original image from Flipside Fanzine.
For Keith Morris’s 70th birthday I sent him a copy of the image along with others I took of him. Sweet and rebellious memories of when punk rock was just punk rock. I remember the term Hardcore when it became known and was coined. I still hate the term.
I really brought the image to the next level when I was asked for some images for the film 20th Century Women. I could have given them a lot of my photos but instead just gave him this one. It is nicely framed in the film, and I get full credit in the ending credits to the sound of the Buzzcocks.
It was one of those moments while sitting with my two sons to see the film where I felt acknowledged for my dedication and love of punk rock. I thought to myself,
“I showed them.”
Furthermore, Blush and Edward Colver most likely don’t even know about my film endeavor for full credit, who knows, but Keith was aware of the image and got recognition with the original Black Flag.
The film’s creator grew up in the punk scene and gets both the issue and women’s perspectives. Well, done, Mike Mills!
“Character is as unique as your fingerprint and as we age, it can often surface in interesting and unusual ways and at unexpected moments.”
Only the last few weeks a memory came forth. Days on the east coast living in Rochester New York. Taking the bus to see my patients as a Home Health Aide. Trained through the Red Cross.
There was a bus stop there where I would stop between buses. A coffee shop. It was small with a round platform. I would get a piece of pie and cup of coffee.
Here is where I met Betty MaCusic.
I was sitting alone and she sat next to me. Then she asked me a question,
“Are those Kachinas on your arm?”
They were two figures, tattoos, that do resemble Kachinas.
This is where a beautiful friendship grew over the years. Even until I moved back to California.
We talked about Native Americans, and the Medicine Wheel. A name came up that amazed her.
“Yes, I met Sun Bear. I went to a Medicine Wheel Gathering in the late 80s.”
I told her it was in northern California where I went for a week to a Medicine Wheel gathering. It was near the Russian River in Northern California. I was dropped off while the rest of the Flipside Crew went back to San Fransico for a show and distribution of our fanzine. Staying with Maximumrocknroll.
She told me her story. That her son and daughter-in-law were fans of Sun Bear. They did a recording for him of singing and drumming. They sent a tape to him. But they never got a reply. That saddened me. Later their marriage did not last and they divorced.
The probability of us meeting and talking about Sun Bear is a remarkable one. Now I realize that somehow, I was meant to assure them that the Medicine Wheel is real and part of our connection. I met her son but only briefly.
I don’t know where I found his original book published in the 1980s. But this is one that was published when I was in fact living in Rochester New York. Funny how I did not make this connection until recently.
It has been on my mind lately.
Sun Bear often said that “Shit Happens.”
He told me a story once where many people would call him and ask for help with their life problems. He would listen for a long time. Not sharing a word. Then he would break the conversation with these words,
“Go out into your garden. Dig a big deep hole. Throw some seeds into that deep hole. Then scream everything into the hole. Everything you just told me. Cover it up and see what grows.”
Then he would hang up.
It is amazing to think about how a book, place or person was found back in the middle of the 1980s. I guess following one’s intuition and going to the local bookstore was a way to find new things. I did a lot of correspondence back then. Writing, reading, and meeting people.
While I appreciate the ease of finding information today, I am surprised at my past experience of taking a bus to patients’ homes in Rochester and how I managed to find and attend appointments without even knowing the area. I was always on time.
“Wise One,” eponymous Mother Goddess of the Medes. Like Medusa and Metis, she was named from the Sanskrit concept of medha,”female wisdom.” (1.) She was a fount of the feminine art of healing, and her name was related to “medicine.”
(2.) She could restore the dead to life in her magic cauldron, as shown by the myth of Aeson, who was so restored. Pliny called Medea a Goddess whose magic arts could control the sun, moon, and stars. (3.)
She rode in a chariot drawn by serpents; it also had wings, to show that she ruled both earth and heaven. (4.)
According to Herodotus, Medea was the Great Goddess of all the Aryan tribes of Parthia. (5.) She was all-wise, and never died, but dwelt forever in heaven. (6.)
She seems to have been remembered in Ireland as the Goddess Medana, associated with a sacred tree and a regenerative well, whose waters were reputed to cure sore eyes. She was artificially canonized as a saint, and her Christian legend was copied from that of the equally bogus St. Lucy? (7.)
The classic story of Medea’s ill-starred marriage to Jason apparently was based on a captured idol of the Goddess. Her rites were imported into Greece but proved too sanguinary for Hellenic taste. {Play by Euripides.}
The Woman’s Encyclopedia of Myths and Secrets by Barara G. Walker. Pg. 628.
* Could Also so be Grave, Robert: The Greek Myths (2 Vols) New York: Penguin Books Inc. or Graves, Robert, and Patai, Raphael. Hebrew Myths, New York: Doubleday & Co.1964.
Punk Rock Colleague & Historian and Professional Consultant
Hudley Flipside
March 1 2025
LA Zine Fest
I was forced to come to this event by a fanatical fanzine person and his friend. Trust Fanzine and Razorcake. Jan Rohlk and Daryl Gussin were table sitting for fanatical music fanzines.
While engaging Facebook, some friends’ posts brought up the world of Fanzines. Last year in LA I went to a fanzine event. It was fun to see individuals sharing their passions again without big media involved.
Yet in the mid-1980s it was a way for a scene to plug into a culture that was deep and a constant variable of uniqueness. No politically correct or nice. Yet I found things that were endearing to me.
We listed the fanzines we got every two months or so.
I am so proud of our once-underground culture still. I miss the strong current of communication all by way of the POBox.
Before the computer and I know if you were there you know what I am talking about.
For me it was a constant kaleidoscope of reading and typing and going to the POBox to pick up the mail.
Now I feel out of step with our current world. Always an intensity that is so alarming. I am glad I have my little oasis to keep me grounded.
Los Angeles Flipside Fanzine will always be moving around my psyche. Like riding my mustang on the hills of the Santa Monica Mountains or pushing my kids as young boys in the supermarket shopping cart.
Getting older is nice to reflect on deeds done and things created. Friends, family, and fans.
But as this song shares…. I feel out of step with the world too. As a young punk or an old one.
Three pages from Los Angles Flipside Fanzine # 38
These songs evoke memories of past debates among punks, highlighting their unique sacrifices and nonconformist identities.
It was my pleasure to see the conflict between bands. Their ideologies of freedom and sacrifice. About drink, drugs and tattoos and the stoic realities that left many of us punks to think for ourselves… ya that was a hell of a lot of fun for a nobody punk chick like me.
Waning moon glows I am the sound of the asphalt tires In the asphalt jungle I am the bees that hum The trees reach slightly Up into the universe I am the universe I am the sparkling star I sail around the crescent moon I am the dirt and the oil. I am the rocks of the Santa Monica mountains I am a pollutant. I inspire, I hope I am the worm reaching deep in the earth I am the shadow of lies from our politicians I am the love in my son’s heart In my family and cats’ hearts. My friends and music inspire me. I am the sound of nature And the sounds of humanity Of the universe UFOs and extraterrestrials.
I find myself passionately reflecting on certain projects from long ago, reminiscent of the vibrant local pub that has been gone for at least ten years. The gifts of our punk scene continue to resonate, echoing the raw energy and innovation they once radiated. What was once fresh and bold now carries years of rich history and nostalgia. Happy Holidays!
Dianne Chai
The Alley Cats
Photo by Hudley Flipside at the Whiskey A GO GO. 1980s
Tape Eleven 11/10/84
Tape Eleven 11/10/84.
THE 10% EXPERIENCE.
A KISS IN THE WIND.
Once at the local pub a woman in her twenties looked over at me. She was talking to a friend, and I heard her say,
“I don’t know what the big deal is. That magazine came out over thirty years ago?”
She then looked over at me again. I looked back at her. I raised my shoulders and rolled my eyes as if to say,
“I know what you mean.”
This pub, the Scotland Yard in Canoga Park California, is considered a music pub. The founder Patrick Fairley (rip) was in Marmalade a 1960s Scottish pop rock band.
Here is a legendary line of DJs who just happened to play 1980s punk rock.
Punk rock is a unique genre and like jazz we all rejoice in the impressive sound of its originators. Going to the pub is kind of like going to church. The sociology of religion states that 90% of people going to church do so for social reasons. Only 10% go to have a religious experience. A pub is the same way. When you add some great music and beer this is the place to be to do the 90% thing or the 10 % thing.
As the spirituals gave birth to the Blues and then Jazz, so does it inspire the music we listen to today?
I don’t go to church anymore, but I do go to pubs. For me it is a 10% experience.
In the 1700s pubs often held meetings under the convert of drunks but in reality, it was the beginning of revolution.
It was about individuals who came together, who opposed the Church of England and their government. They sang their pub songs or hymns around the fireplace and hidden in these songs were the lyrics and tunes that inspired the people.
Punk rock can be like going to church and it can be a 90% social thing. To me it has always been about the 10% punk rock experience.
It is inspirational, thrilling and has the ability to awaken one to wild possibilities of hope and creativity as any good ‘old jazz song does.
Sharing these tapes is like sharing an old jazz tune or inspirational religious experience. It has its place in the continuity of the punk rock experience of 1984.
Slam pits, drugs, loud music, police and gang violence—these are just some of the struggles punks face in a chaotic world. Bands express these issues through their music, while journalists report on them. The Wounded Punkx Project exists to support punks who have been affected.
Flipside Video was an out-of-control phenomenon. This is what I brought in from over the internet a few years ago. Videos without real narratives. I like to share real narratives. Some of you still have your originals. We at Flipside Video did a lot of work to bring this all together. Taping, editing, copying, designing art and video boxes and mail order. We did not make the big bucks, but it was the glowing truth behind DIY.
I am proud of what we accomplished. Now the patina shows … that is ok. We supported a scene we believed in. Right before technology hit the scene and changed the intimacy of what we as punks shared. That is what I hold onto that punk rock intimacy. I’ll say it again. That punk rock intimacy. I know a lot about that time and most of it is amplified in many of the original source materials we documented at Los Angeles Flipside Fanzine.
Hecate (or, The Night of Enitharmon’s Joy) is a color print from around 1795 that depicts the witch Hecate, who gives a notable monologue questioning why she manipulated Macbeth.
Enitharmon is a significant female character in William Blake’s mythology, representing female domination and sexual restraints that limit artistic imagination. She is the emanation of Los, one of the Four Zoas, and is associated with spiritual beauty and poetic inspiration. Enitharmon is depicted as a complex figure, embodying both the allure and repression of female sexuality, and she plays a crucial role in Blake’s prophetic works, including “Europe: A Prophecy”
“When a great moment knocks on the door of your life, it is often no louder than the beating of your heart, and it is very easy to miss it.”
~ Boris Pasternak
I get saturated with reading at times in my life. I am full of the alchemy of going through it all in my mind, soul, and heart. It takes time and even years.
Reading again is overwhelming to me. Ya know when you go deep down into the narrative. All the stories, words and archetypes move through me. However, it was a wonderful experience.
Over the past few weeks, I have concentrated on two books: one is a recent addition to my collection, while the other is an older volume that remained untouched for some time.
They have no relationship with each other. Yet the one did get me thinking about the Shadow. Working with our shadows is the best thing we can do for us and our world collective shadow.
“At times, the conscious observer in us stands back and says, “there but for the grace of God go I.” Jung used to say that we can be grateful for our enemies, for their darkness allows us to escape our own.”
~ Owning Your Own Shadow, Understanding the dark side of the psyche. By Robert A. Johnson. Page 37
Yet what amazed me are three tests of a good writer. If they engage with them, I know that my teachers are presently around too.
William Blake, Johann Wolfgang von Goethe and of course Dr. Jung. As Robert A Johnson refers to him. Out dear Carl Gustav Jung.
The first book was purchased a few months ago. It came up and I was pulled into buying it. I put it on a ledge near our internet modem. A few months it sat. Whispering to join in on the conversation. So, I did finally with joy. Anam Cara, A Book of Celtic Wisdom by John O’Donohue. And like clockwork my three teachers above are mentioned with wonderful quotes of theirs in his book.
“The wonderful subtle color of the universe arises to clothe everything. This is captured in a phrase from William Blake; “Colours are the wounds of light.” Colors bring out the depth of secret presence at the heart of nature.”
John O’Donohue, Page 2 Anam Cara, A Book of Celtic Wisdom
O’Donohue’s ideas made me think about light and shadow. Wondering and inspiring me to look up another book from years ago. There it was waiting patiently on my book shelve. I started reading it again. Recalling years ago when I read it and began distilling many things. And like clockwork one, two and three of my teachers are there with their insightful quotes.
I enjoy synchronicity reading; it’s delightful, though sometimes a bit overwhelming.
“No distance makes you ambivalent.
You come on wings, enchanted
In such hunger for light, you
Become the butterfly burnt to nothing.”
“Blessed Longing” by Goethe.
Here is the quote that brought me back to reading about the shadow from Robert A Johnson’s writing.
“The shadow also contains a great deal of energy, and it is the cornerstone of our vitality. A very cultured individual with an equally strong shadow has a great deal of power. William Blake spoke about the need to reconcile their two parts of the self. He said we should go to heaven for form and to hell for energy- and marry the two. When we can face our inner heaven and our inner hell, this is the highest form of creativity.”
Pg. 38
And another book sitting on my shelf comes to play a copy of The Marriage of Heaven and Hell by Blake. Illustrated Throughout in Full Colour.
“When I came home: on the abyss of the five senses, where a flat sided steep frowns over the present world, I saw a mighty Devil folded in black clouds, hovering on the sides of the rock, with corroding fires he wrote the following sentence now perceived by the minds of men, & read by them on earth;”
“How do you know but ev’ry Bird that cuts the airy way.
Is an immense world of delight, clos’d by your senses five?”
~ A Memorable Fancy, Plates 6-7, The Marriage of Heaven and Hell by William Blake
