“He was shy. He did not talk much. We three sat together.
Saturn said that Pholus was pleased with my painting of him. Then Pholus kindly spoke,
“I often sit in my garden like you and watch the praying mantis.”
He told me the name “mantis,” has great value and meaning to him.”
“Small acts can unleash far-reaching consequences,”
7/3/2026
I had an active imagination last night. I imagined a female voice announce that Saturn would like to see me. I had turned him down a couple of days ago. Had a tough week. Yet last night I agreed. So, the lovely white horse with wings was waiting- then zoom I saw the rings of Saturn.
“How fast,” I thought.
We landed and I gave the horse some barley and oats. I tickled his whiskers on his nose.
I walked up to the large open ballroom with rounded door. I was given a lovely white dress to wear. Feeling silly I asked if I could just be in my regular clothes.
“You mean your bitchin’ pants and t-shirt.”
I turned around and there was my beloved Saturn.
He escorted me to an upstairs room. He told me there was someone who wanted to see me. He introduced me to Pholus.
Pholus held out his hand and I said,
“Hello.” I touched his hand.
He was shy. He did not talk much. We three sat together.
Saturn said that Pholus was pleased with my painting of him. Then Pholus kindly spoke,
“I often sit in my garden like you and watch the praying mantis.”
He told me the name “mantis,” has great value and meaning to him.
Pholus told me gently that he has a healthy healing potion for my foot cut. So, Saturn was there to help him put a small, exceedingly small drop on my cut…
I fell asleep.
Later in the morning I remembered the experience and softly said,
“Saturn and Pholus I am sorry I fell asleep. But I assume Saturn brought me back as usual.
In reflection:
Pholus was in the shadows, soft spoken, gentle, and filled with a goodness that was a wonder for me to behold. He asked if I would finish the right of the painting with yellow. I hope I got that right.
What’s a book, movie, or TV show that you wish you could experience again for the first time?
“Love is eternal. It has been the strongest motivation for human actions throughout history. Love is stronger than life. It reaches beyond the dark shadow of death.”
The film noir thriller Laura.
As many film noirs this one is always an amazing adventure.
Characters change, where good guys become bad guys, and bad guys become good guys.
Dana Andrews, Vincent Price and Gene Tierney were just a top selection of actors that I was beginning to know.
The first time! Every time!
Laura is always a deep wonder of shadows and delights.
The soundtrack pulls this whole film together.
I love a good detective film. Love and betrayal and overall, a deep side kick of audacity!
“Laura, you have one tragic weakness. With you, a lean strong body is the measure of a man. And you always get hurt.”
What I love about this global WordPress community is that it feels real. Even as countries clash and leaders create division, it is comforting to know that people around the world can still connect, share this planet, and exchange ideas through art.
The artist Vincent van Gogh said this:
“Great things are done by a series of small things brought together.”
Fourteen years ago, I began this WordPress journey without knowing where it would lead.
Today I noticed a collection of WordPress achievements that made me pause.
Visitors from over 150 countries.
Readers from more than 50 countries.
Fourteen years of publishing.
Hundreds of posts.
A community that continues to read, follow, and encourages my work.
These aren’t awards in the traditional sense. They’re reminders that showing up matters.
I’ve never chased fame. I’ve simply tried to keep creating—painting, writing, publishing, and sharing what feels true.
Thank you to everyone who has stopped by, read an essay, looked at a painting, left a comment, or quietly visited from somewhere in the world. You are part of this story.
Punk Rock Colleague & Historian and Professional Consultant
Hudley Flipside
I want to apologize to the people who previously posted a flyer for this event. I denied it happened because I had completely forgotten about it. While searching through my old Flipside Fanzines for another show I thought I attended, I found this instead.
I was looking for a show Mike Patton posted today for The Starwood. An image of a Ticket February 3rd THE WEIRDOS, MIDDLE CLASS, AGENT ORANGE,
I know I was there but did not find the review in Flipside Fanzine. So many shows in an intense and brief time of our youthful rebellion. We are the seeds of a once blossoming culture.
Here is the review I found instead with images. It is an odd feeling to have a documentation of my youth. Things I have forgotten but cannot deny when they are right in front of me. No fake stuff here all authentic in 1980s time. From Issue 24 the Blue Jack TSOL issue. I was wearing my American Flag shirt I sewed up from a real flag but that is another story.
FLIPSIDE BENEFIT – MAY 8, 1981, at Vex Hall in Los Angeles
We’ll have to start off by thanking all the bands that played (or offered to play) and all the people that came to the show and put up with the heat and waited.
THE CROWD opened the show; to make a long story short, the band that was supposed to open SOCIETY’S VICTEMS couldn’t go on because they were supposed to use some of the GIRLSCOUTS’ equipment, and the GIRLSCOUTS didn’t show up (for whatever reason).
So instead of waiting,
The CROWD took the stage. Hud announced them as the Punk Beach Boys, which nobody likes (great joke), and they ran through their set. I was surprised at how well they played in the heat,
“We love summer, it’s like August here,” said Jim!
Despite the heat the audience danced, and the CROWD danced and it had to be one of the best sets I’ve ever seen the CROWD do, and they’ll tell you that.
After a long wait the band scraped up some equipment, SOCIETY’S VICTEMS
Steve from Flipside’s band, and Whittier’s one and only punk group came on. They did what they were supposed to do – 3 quick songs. They got quite a reaction, ranging from wild slamming to wild spitting, what can you say about a band’s first gig?
At about this time the Police made their first of three visits. They came in, did a quick head count, asked Joe about the capacity, and decided to close the doors to any more people – but the show could go on!!! Unfortunately, they chased away about 100 – 200 people that were still outside.
By now everyone was feeling the heat, and trips backstage or to the bar were common.
THE ADOLESCENTS faded into existence from sound check to actual set. I really don’t know when the set started – there were always people running around stage and Casey yelling for more drum monitor, anyways they played a frantic set. The heat didn’t stop anybody from going crazy, and the crowd seemed to eat up every song now that they know them by heart.
Mike Ness even got up to do the singing on ‘House of the Rising Sun’ – it was funny seeing him trying to wiggle like Tony.
CIRCLE JERKS were the last band to go on and did more than an adequate job of being the end to a great show. They played very intensely; the only time I’ve seen them better was at their own Birthday Party Gig, but tonight it was special because they debuted a bunch of new songs – so new Keith had to read them in the paper. And they are good ones too – songs about the RCP and such!!!
A great set, a great end. Lastly, we’d like to thank Joe for letting us have the show at his club, and all the bouncers who were really cool and had a great time celebrating Bam Bam’s (BIG bouncer) birthday.
Epsilon Carinae, also known as Avior, is a binary star system located approximately 610 light-years from Earth and is one of the brightest stars in the southern constellation of Carina.
I took a walk around the block and halfway down the street I looked at a tree on the left side of the street walk. A strange dark shadow. An unusual dark shadow in the heart of the tree. It was taller than I was and I was about two houses down from the tree. I stopped to notice the shape.
As the outside dimensions of the Virgin Mary. I have seen that shape many times before.
The darkness of it made me pause. Then as I slowly walked closer a house light came on. The light vanished from the dark shape. I looked over my shoulder, and it was gone.
The night had soft clouds, and the stars were not to be seen. Maybe creating the dark tree shadow. It was not my shadow.
As I reached home, I sat in the white plastic chair in my yard. I looked up to see one star. Thinking it was the “Dog Star” Sirius because it was due south set further back. It was Southeast. Higher in the horizon than the crescent moon that was present shining or glowing from the clouds in the sky.
I investigated on my Galaxy Apt that I have learned to trust as being fully accurate. To make sure it was the Dog Star. I was surprised to be corrected. It was a new star for me.
Avior a bright star in the southern constellation Carina. Known at the “Keel of a ship: also called by a Hebrew term as “the father is light.”
The shadow and the star were parallel so I will work on this.
Epsilon Carinae
A keel is the foundation longitudinal “backbone” of a ship or boat, running along the center of the bottom of the hull from bow to stern or front to end.
Carinae was once part of Argo Navis, the great ship of the mythical Jason and the Argonauts who searched for the Golden Fleece. (Greece)
Avior Night
Poem by Hudley / Franky
Light clouds close
The curtain
On the noisy sky
But one-star stays
Avior and a thin
Cresent breathing beside it.
Not everything
Just enough
A new friend
A Mysterious Feeling
Guidance doesn’t shout
It waits
Until the sky
Gets quiet enough
To see it.
Follow Me Lyrics
Camelot Lyrics
NIMUE:
(Lady Of the Lake)
Far from day, far from night,
Out of time, out of sight,
In between earth and sea,
We shall fly; follow me.
Dry the rain, warm the snow;
Where the winds never go
Follow me, follow me, follow me
To a cave by a sapphire shore
Where we’ll walk through an emerald door,
And for thousands of breathless evermore my life you shall be.
The little things we do to make our environment better. Standing still I see around me in my garden or in my home.
Yet outside I try and do things that are good for my environment. I do not use pesticides. I encourage natural pest control. If you give your environment time it will reach a natural balance.
I have developed a nice relationship with my local praying mantis hub. They have balanced out the problem we had of too many black widow spiders.
Yet all the wild animals too come and go in a balanced way too.
Owls come to visit as well as our family bird tribe of ravens.
The laws and resilience of nature is not for me to control we are all on the menu in one way or another. Yet as a human being I practice environmental etiquette.
For example, if you move into a neighborhood, you are happy with your new home. Take a look around and see how the homes around you are like. Is it a caring frequency you feel? Practice environmental etiquette and I guarantee you that you will make all sorts of friends.
So now this is for free viewing on my YouTube Channel at the end of the post.
Here’s a fun look back at the awesome bands that “Flipside Video” filmed at GOLDENVOICE shows in the ’80s. Gary Tovar hit me up to create a loop, and I just grabbed whatever was close by to pull together something super entertaining.
It’s got that punk vibe that defined an entire era of music and artistic expression! Sure, the colors are all over the place and it’s a bit fuzzy sometimes with those crazy stage lights, but it totally sounds amazing, capturing the raw energy and chaotic essence of live performances.
You can really catch that youthful energy as the crowd bounces in unison, fists in the air, and the music blasts through the venue, creating an unforgettable atmosphere that still resonates today.
Each band brought their unique flair, making the footage a true time capsule of punk rock’s vibrant history and the spirit of rebellion that thrived during those exhilarating times!
How it once was when we were a little more out of control and actually had a very tight scene. I am immensely proud of what is presented here as most likely my last creative endeavor to preserve the Los Angeles Flipside Fanzine narrative.
Flipside Video include Al Flipside, Pooch, Gus Hudson, Joe Henderson, Joy Akoi, and yours truly. Also, sidekicks Gary Indiana and John Crawford.
A lot of work for the Flipside Crew. We often showed up early as the bands were sound checking, to leave after all the crowd had gone.
Yet to hang with the bands and the GOLDENVOICE crew contains some of my most endearing memories. Brought together via my home studio and long hours of editing. An emotionally rewarding experience for me…as punk rock needs to be.
It is a time when the punk scene still had the glamour and enthusiasm of a gleeful youth and was so charming. I miss the intimacy of this scene profoundly so. I know it can be found still and yes, I can still find it now and then. Be More than a witness, as we use to say….
Hudley Flipside
Produced by The Seminary of Praying Mantis Publishing
Connecting to the soul energy in my handful of dust.
Burial of the Dead
T.S. Eliot
“There is shadow under this red rock,
(Come in under the shadow of this red rock.)
And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handful of dust. (9)”
“Fearing the shadow that strides behind us before the noon of life is as natural as fearing the shadow rising to meet us in the evening.
What is different in the fear that Eliot is describing is the pervading sense of loss in so many people in our twentieth-century wasteland- loss so deep that the vital spark goes out, leaving a hollow shell. Patriarchy is crumbling.
The values that were taken for granted for centuries are being questioned as we watch our raped planet wither under the pressure of acid rain, toxic waste, overpopulation.
We can choose to tyrannize our inner victims and deny our fear, as millions of addicts are doing, or we can try to connect to the soul energy in our handful of dust.
Oppressed peoples around the globe are hearing their inner victims and fighting for their freedom in whatever way they can.”
Pg. 121 Lover can you Spare a Dime? The Ravaged Bridegroom, Masculinity in Women. Marion Woodman
#marionwoodman
I like to find fabrics with lovely colors and designs. I place them around my home. Sometimes the cats sleep on the material of red or golden.
Sometimes I hang the fabric material on my windows, as this textured sunflower pattern, to see the numinous wonder of light and shadow patterns playing on the opposite side of the wall.
“And the sons of Pullman porters And the sons of engineers Ride their fathers’ magic carpets made of steel Mothers with their babes asleep Are rockin’ to the gentle beat And the rhythm of the rails is all they feel”
He heard the traitor, dog breath, hater and had to respond. And after swallowing his whiskey down like a son of a train engineer, he said this.
“I think upon what my anarchist friends told me what a real hostage was.
A person held by one party in a conflict as a pledge pending the fulfillment of an agreement: a person taken by force to secure the taker’s demands. One who is involuntarily controlled by an outside influence.
These Jan. 6 rioters are felons. A felon is someone who has committed a crime or has been legally convicted of a crime.
Donald Jackass Trump has not helped these felons, as sad as it seems. He is only using them to further his lies and disdain for our democracy. He separates and divides. He should be in prison with them. It is a pity for us all that he is not silenced.”
“To a man born without conscience, a soul-stricken man must seem ridiculous. To a criminal, honesty is foolish. You must not forget that a monster is only a variation, and that to a monster the norm is monstrous.”
― John Steinbeck, East of Eden
A free shot of whiskey for a presidential slogan..
Yes I do not like everything she has done but I do like how she has stood up for abused women …. People can make right moves !
How ironical !?
Will she read the list in the House without facing legal action? I hope so, as many wealthy and powerful men will have there names disclosed.
“Come writers and critics who prophesize with your pen
And keep your eyes wide, the chance won’t come again
And don’t speak too soon, for the wheel’s still in spin
And there’s no tellin’ who that it’s namin’
For the loser now will be later to win.”
A theme I was thinking upon years ago .. something beyond politics… women working together!
Marjorie Taylor Greene Rebuked for Displaying Nude Photos of Hunter Biden at Hearing.
Greene was born in Milledgeville, Georgia, on May 27, 1974, the daughter of Robert Taylor.
She graduated from South Forsyth High School in Cumming, Georgia in 1992, and the University of Georgia with a Bachelor of Business Administration in 1996.
Perry Greene (m. 1995; div. 2022).
In September 2020, Greene wrote on Twitter that “children should not wear masks”, calling recommendations by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and other public health officials “unhealthy for their psychological, emotional, and educational growth” and “emasculating” for boys.
She called restrictions imposed in the U.S. Capitol in response to the COVID-19 pandemic, including face mask requirements, “tyrannical control” by Democrats.
I don’t know if I will get to all 11 from my catalog but at least I got to two more. From the original catalog I did in the 1980s. I wanted fans to at least get an organized sense of what we had to offer. I find it delightfully youthful and fanatical as a 65-year-old woman to read these. We were all into the punk scene and loved it madly. I was about 25 when I made this up.
My obligation to Los Angeles Flipside Fanzine. (1977 to 2002)
As a co-publisher, editor of Flipside Fanzine I hold to my heart a need to protect and preserve the memory of this Fanzine. Being its roughly 20 years of existence.
How it is presented to the world is important to me. At one time Flipside Fanzine supported a beginning and then growing underground, and international, punk rock scene.
Over the last few years, I have had bands, record labels, writers and major movie companies approach me for images for their work and/or production pertaining to Flipside Fanzine. I engage the many demands in a proper and organized manner.
There is not another Flipside person who has stepped forward to engage this pressure.
My intentions are good for Flipside Fanzine, and I will continue to protect it as best I can. I hold good integrity too. I can choose with whom I share or sell things from this Fanzine.
Even if I know that some book publishers share Flipside material without due respect, most the time Flipside is mentioned as original source… sometimes but not always.
Be it the fanzine itself, videos, or records. I am under an umbrella of protection, and I can release things for such productions as I always mention those involved at the time if they are dead, or otherwise, or do not want to be bothered. Flipside was a fast moving fanzine with many who did willfully engage freely in its creative life time.
I love Los Angeles Flipside Fanzine. It is ironic to me, but Flipside’s created products become more precious with time. Everything Flipside “produced and created” is becoming more in demand.
In its publishing history there have only been two owners of Los Angeles Flipside Fanzine, its “living publishing time,” Al Flipside (Al Kowalewski) and me Hudley Flipside (Holly D Cornell).
I promise to do my best with all of Los Angeles Flipside Fanzine documented materials and all products over its full life. Yet now it is a defunct fanzine and we only see it as a history of what once was and so many of its creations still shine in many corners of the world.
I am finding Mr. Fuck has come out of his Bomb shelter to play… it has been awhile. He was pissed due to the fact that Mr. Shit’s theme song came out and no one cares about him anymore. So Mr. Shit and I got together and wrote a theme song for him.
Funny how creative endeavors come out to play again as one gets older. Mr. Shit and Mr. Fuck and I are feeling creative, silly and laugh a lot too.
I think about the song Puff the Magic Dragon and realize as I get older I am happy to find the call again of Puff’s gigantic roar and the song does not make me sad anymore.
“Together they would travel on a boat with billowed sail.
Jackie kept a lookout perched on Puff’s gigantic tail.
Noble kings and princes would bow whenever they came
Pirate ships would lower their flags when Puff roared out his name.”
Yes we all three agreed on this… so here is Mr. Fuck’s theme song that is well overdo.
Mr. BEE takes a drag watching as he critiques the theme song.
Give him a pair of eyes with a “come-hither” gleam
Give him a lonely heart like Pagliacci
And lots of wavy hair like Liberace.”
Silver dollars are on my mind. The magic as I view them from my memory or imagination. Mom went to Las Vegas and would play the slot machines with these babies. She would bring home many buckets full to take home to her kids. She kept them in her back bedroom closet for years.
She would pull them out every now and then as we admired the coins. Large hold in my small hands.
After her death oldest brother Greg stole them. I don’t know who has them now. He died a year back, so they are with some unknown person.
I miss mom’s large bedroom with a big window that looked over the Verdugo Mountains. The San Fernando Valley was a deep chasm of hills and homes and the Woodland Hills Golf Course.
Often, she had her radio program on that played music from the 1940s and 1950s as she sewed up dresses or clothes for herself, my sister or myself. A sewing machine on a table that had everything you could imagine for creating fine clothing.
Laying out the patterns, pinning the material and cutting were all something I watched closely.
Then a song would come on and she would start to hum it. I would sometimes dance. This was one of the songs I remember, and the song holds the memory of my mom as we danced around her bedroom.
Mr. Sandman
Sandman” (or “Mister Sandman”) is a popular song written by Pat Ballard and published in 1954. It was first recorded in May of that year by Vaughn Monroe & His Orchestra and later that year by the Chordettes and the Four Aces.
I love watching Perry Mason on TV before I go to bed. It is part of my routine to relax and watch a time before technology, big technology, took over. Phones, telephone booths and stylish clothing are comforting to watch. Yet what I do endure are the commercials in between.
A new one this season is Walgreens commercial. I try not to pay attention, which has a little logo saying, “It is not magic it’s Walgreens,” Here we find all the magic and wonder of the holidays and then the terrible quote. It is kind of negative propaganda as the company is an evangelical organization most likely. The war on magic and our imagination is horrid.
When I see the commercial, I quickly reflect on the song Pure Imagination from Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory.
“Pure Imagination” is a song from the 1971 film Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory. It was written by British composers Leslie Bricusse and Anthony Newley specifically for the movie. It was sung by Gene Wilder who played the character of Willy Wonka. Bricusse has stated that the song was written over the phone in one day. The song has a spoken introduction.
“There are two things’ children should get from their parents: roots and wings.”
~ Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe
“E: I have already uttered the words, The image that I saw was crimson, fiery colored, a gleaming gold. The voice that I heard was like distant thunder, like the wind rearing in the forest, like an earthquake. It was not the voice of my old God. It was a thunderous pagan roar, a call my ancestors knew but which I have never heard. It sounded prehistoric, as if from a forest on a distant coast; it rang with all the voices of the wilderness. It was full of horror yet harmonic.”
Pg. 237 [v.6] C.G. Jung The Black Books.
As a student of esoteric studies, and lay person of depth psychology, I learned about our vital bodies. We have our physical body, our vital body and our desire and mind body. Four bodies superimposed on us as we are awake living our lives.
At night, I have learned, when we go to sleep something amazing happens to us. Our desire and mind bodies disengage from our physical and vital bodies. All bodies are connected by sturdy life threads. Life sustaining.
It is at this time in sleep the physical body is free from desire body and mind body engagement so the vital body can heal our physical body. The mind and desire bodies float above us like balloons on long strings as the vital body does its healing panacea. Assimilating, regenerating, and eliminating is the work of our vital body.
We are like trees, often unconscious, reaching deep with our roots into our earth mother and reaching up to the sun and the cosmos bringing in sunlight. This is when we learn about the wonderful relationship we have with other planets. But mostly our bodies recover from the damage incurred throughout the day by simply living our life.
Having Covid-19 I have experienced the powerful work of my own vital body. It is so important to sleep when one has Covid-19.
It was hard to sleep for me. The pain, the fever, the fear was overwhelming. Yet when I did, I felt like a tree and the power work of sleeping happened. Waking up many times as if I went for a swim. And after such nights when I did sleep, I felt better.
Once I experienced a kaleidoscope of coughing over and over with visions of myself… it was how the world outside of me and inside of me merged. There was a battle going on. And for those of us who shared this battle you know this experience as well.
“The vital body, on the other hand, has no other interest than the preservation of the dense vehicle. By way of the spleen, it specializes in the colorless solar energy which pervades space, and by some strange chemical process transforms it into a vital fluid of a beautiful pale rose color, sending it along every nerve and fiber of the body. The vital body ever aims to husband the energy it has stored in the dense body. It is constantly concerned in rebuilding the tissues when they are broken down and destroyed by the powerful onslaughts of the rampant desire body.”
~ THE VITAL BODY BY MAX HEINDEL
The spleen is the largest organ of the lymphatic system. Located in the upper left region of the abdominal cavity, the spleen’s primary function is to filter blood of damaged cells, cellular debris, and pathogens such as bacteria and viruses. Like the thymus, the spleen houses and aids in the maturation of immune system cells called lymphocytes. Lymphocytes are white blood cells that protect against foreign organisms that have managed to infect body cells. Lymphocytes also protect the body from itself by controlling cancerous cells. The spleen is valuable to the immune response against antigens and pathogens in the blood.
Having all the vaccines I chose not to get the PAXLOVID. I don’t do well with side effects.
At this time of the year the veil between the living and the dead is so thin. Dreams are intense yet with Covid-19 my mind is weak. Yet last night I do remember the end of my dream.
I was in a large, lovely field. Maybe the place of my ancestors, Cornwall, England. It was dusk or maybe the sun was just rising. A slight mist was in the air. I was waiting to catch the vampires. I got to see them outside of my body. We stood there all looking at each other and aware.
I saw at least three or four hovering, lingering in this vast open field. I was there to conquer them.
I awoke.
Today I feel much better. I only share the feelings left of a body that battled and won. A sore back and chest. A sore throat that once was tight with heat. And then signs of a cold are slowly disappearing. Fatigued but here to live another day.
I think of all the cowboy fights I watch on my favorite show Gunsmoke. Right after a fight of getting his ass kicked, a cowboy walks up into the bar and orders a whiskey. Then powers it down, walks out and gets on his horse and rides away. No problem!
Reb Kittredge: I ran into a little trouble this morning. I had to leave my horse back up the trail.
Rita: If I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, I’d say you still had him with you.
