Tag Archives: the written word

scorn and unbelievable

Ritual is good. Songs bring in the seasons. In this dark time ‘song ritual’ help to ease the scorn and unbelievable with something sane and consistent.  The skins of my large white beans are shedding away as they boil in the pot. There are times when I feel like these large white beans. Today during my heart focused breathing I was surprised to feel a pin point of joy dance upon my heart. Faces of love smiled before me and I was grateful. I cried for those released from this Earth, this planet. What a mystery it all is. I talked to my oldest son. He said he was listening to a tape about the The Ten Hermetic Keys of Hermes Trismegistus. The mental origin of the world and of man. 2 Corresponding harmonics. 3 Dynamics of alternation. 4 Bi-polarity and complementarity. 5 Cyclic repolarisation. 6 Cause and effect. 7 Gender. 8 The astrology of the Ogdoad. 9 The magic of the Ennead. 10 The alchemy of the Decad. This caught me off guard. So I looked it up. I showed him my watercolor that contains this in a kind of alchemical way.
Watercolor by Hudley

I have this image hanging on the wall in the living room to remind me everyday. To show me that in this mystery of life, in all of this chaos and discord of life and death … light and darkness, there is a ritual that is beholding to us all.

Summer Poem number 2



I used to see anarchy & 
chaos much differently. 
Today I see it as something 
I will not agree to. 
Yet the will of an individual 
can be applied for the benefits 
of all or for only oneself. 
To harm others without caring. 

I used to think 
it was to bring all others 
to the table 
and to change 
and make new ways 
of seeing the 
world creativity 
and imaginatively. 
An individual can 
uniquely inspire a generation, 
or a few people, 
to be good human beings. 

Or the opposite 
can happen when an ego causes 
dark chaos & 
we are witnessing this now.  
It is a time to consider this all,
....
as very important parts of who we all are!? 
So much for August… it does this to me.

Small books…

 

As a long time do it yourself and or self-publisher it is always about the process of doing things myself. It is not always perfect. I learn as I go. I am much better at taking criticism now than I was when I was in my twenties. My worst critique is my own mind. My goal as a self-publisher is to forget about thinking that some other publisher is going to do it for me. Make it easier for me. I sometimes lull into that trap. My goal is to be able to continue to do it my way. I would like to eventually print up, made from recyclable material,  small books. Hand-held books. Some hand-held hard cover books some not. I love small books. They are interesting to me.

“A chapbook is a type of popular literature printed in early modern Europe. Produced cheaply, chapbooks were commonly small, paper-covered booklets, usually printed on a single sheet folded into books of 8, 12, 16 and 24 pages. They were often illustrated with crude woodcuts, which sometimes bore no relation to the text. When illustrations were included in chapbooks, they were considered popular prints.

“The tradition of chapbooks arose in the 16th century, as soon as printed books became affordable, and rose to its height during the 17th and 18th centuries. Many different kinds of ephemera and popular or folk literature were published as chapbooks, such as almanacs, children’s literature, folk tales, ballads, nursery rhymes, pamphlets, poetry, and political and religious tracts. The term “chapbook” for this type of literature was coined in the 19th century. The corresponding French and German terms are bibliothèque bleue (blue book) and Volksbuch, respectively. In Spain they were known as pliegos de cordel.[1][2][3]The term “chapbook” is also in use for present-day publications, commonly short, inexpensive booklets.[4]”


 

 

Summer Poem # 1



My oasis
And cave.

Not reaching out
But reaching within.

Agathos daimon holds my heart
Humidity holds me back.

“Coninuctio” “in mercurio”
Planting seeds
Which do not ripen.

Outside my oasis
Seeds dry in the heat.

Inside the cave
I listen to Mercurius speak.

“The desires of the mind
Will take you nowhere.”


No more daily prompts…spiritual and musical discernment.

I will miss the daily prompts on WordPress. When I created my blog almost 7 years ago it was so exciting to post and read other posts. I do less and less of the daily prompts, but I always go back to do them. Now I find it is all over with. Kind of like a club that goes out of business, or a group of friends that stop seeing each other. Nothing stays the same.

Takes me back to when I was going to university at Los Angeles Mount Saint Mary’s college. I attended 2004 to 2007. I enjoyed all the courses I took. I put 200 percent of my time into learning. I left because the curriculum started to sway a bit off its ecumenical track. There was a kind of pressure stating to form about preferences over whether one was a catholic or not.

I became very strong in my interreligious perspective. I love studying history, culture, myths, and humanity. I was getting very close to finishing the Master’s program. One course forced me to make a moral decision to leave the program.

I was in a very interesting course on spiritual discernment.  The course was taught by a Sister / Nun who was rather old and taught the course more like a high school course than a master’s course. I liked her, and she seemed filled with integrity until our confrontation about child abuse. Currently, it was in all the news. The Los Angeles Sex Abuse cases. It was very troubling for me to behold. My 6-year-old and 15-year-old sons where very near and dear to me. We were not attending any catholic church at the time, but I was still angry.

The Sister said to the class that all of this “child abuse ” will make the Church more authentic.  I stood up and said,

“…but Sister one child is too many, how can this be?”

Sister looked at me and said,

“That is, your opinion!”

I was overwhelmed. I finished the course with an in-depth paper on the Mandala! I got an A on my paper. Yet I continued to rub the head of the department the wrong way. I was heart-broken. I left. I paid off my student loan in a couple of years.

In 2007 I read this in the news, ” Catholic Church Settles Los Angeles Sex Abuse Cases for $660 Million.” Shocked but I  knew then that what I was feeling was my own spiritual discernment.  Mine was right on. I wanted to move towards becoming a chaplain. I wanted to work with helping others regardless of their age, sex, faith etc. Yet, there is one thing that is unacceptable. I am glad I left the program.

The end of the semester I left the university and went to my first music event in a long time. I attended the Wiltern Theater to see Black Rebel Motorcycle Club. My hair was to my butt and red. I was on a new path again. I never went back to the Wiltern, but I did revisit lots of bands and shows since then. It was a freeing time of spiritual and musical discernment. Black Rebel Motorcycle Club help[ed me through a rough time of heavy discernment!

Two old couches…

Life is about change. Old things die away, new things break into the world. I just wanted to hold on to this memory of two family couches that we got as hand me downs from Marge and Fred. Thank you, we love you and you are both still in our memories.

Neighbors’ blooms under California rain 2018

It was about 11 years ago when Marge passed away, it was on the day of the Mardi Gras. Her things ended up being sold and given away. We were given one of her many couches. A rustic beige couch with embroidery running all over it and white lines moving over it. I sat on it a few times at her home in Tarzana California. She lived in the hills next to Edgar Rice Burroughs’s Gazebo where the character Tarzan was created. There was a time when the hills of the San Fernando Valley were once sparsely populated. One might reflect upon nature and come up with all kind of stories to tell.

The couch was originally bought for a trailer. Marge was then married to Fred Ahern. He was an American filmmaker and worked with Alfred Hitchcock and Quinn Martin.  Fred and Marge originally purchased two couches for a trailer in the desert. Bullhead city Arizona. Marge did not like living there so they moved it back to the home in the Tarzana hills. They were both my husband’s grandparents. Marge was his maternal grandmother. She married Fred after my husband was born. He remembers when they purchased the two couches.

Fred was a good man and always treated my husband as his own grandson. Today we are letting go of the hand me down couches. The couches supported our two sons and us for about 11 years. Fun years. Colorful years with a room full of young boys, gamers, and sleepovers. The couch has been a good best friend. I say couch but there are two. A long couch and a love seat couch.

When we first put the couches in our home they smelled dusty. Now they are covered with hippy colored blankets, my mom’s knit and crocheted blankets and a hand full of cats, books, and laptops. Right now, youngest son is asleep upon the love seat. I think he is feeling a need to be close to it now. It will be gone soon.  He does not usually sleep on it like this.

Today is the day we will put the couches outside for bulky item pick up. I never meet Fred but somehow, he has been close to us the last few years by way of a couch he purchased. I think my husband feels a closeness to the couches. It is not until this morning that I realized this. The sadness and grief of loss is always a sober wake-up call… yes always. Two couches are a connection to my husband’s past. It holds memories and moments before I entered his world.

We purchased two new couches last week. Today is delivery day.  Marge and Fred’s couches are going away forever. The couches will be rained upon today.

We named our first son partly after Fred. When the hospital nurse handed me a document to sign for his birth certificate, I surprised my husband by sneaking in the Fred in Johnfred. I was completely in a ‘after giving birth’ trance I guess. I am glad I did it!

Football kitty is not letting go of her couch as a little Bodhisattva might naturally do!?

I am the Siddhartha



https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frederick_Ahern

Vesta Image

I have enrolled a new image for The Seminary of Praying Mantis. She is Vesta.

“In her role as sister. Vesta represents the principle of focus and commitment. She functions as autonomous self-identity transforming creative energies into purifying and integrating personal circuitry.” ~ Demetra George & Douglas Bloch

1 – 16 Los Angeles Flipside Fanzine Covers

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Doing some research and writing and thought I would add this to my site… goes well with the other gallery Flipside Fanzine Covers I have up here.


Flipside Issue 1

First Issue issue sold through the mail was to Kristian Hoffman (from the Mumps) ~ Pooch

DATE: August 28, 1977. FORMAT: 8 1/2×7” Xerox PAGES: 20 PRICE: $.25. PRESS RUN 100 STAFF: AL, Lash, Tory, Pooch, X—8.

Flipside Issue 2

DATE: Oct. 1977. FORMAT: Shitty offset, 7×8 1/2″ PAGES:20 PRICE: $.25. PRESS RUN 200 STAFF: AL, Lash, Tory, Pooch, X—8.

Flipside Issue 3

“ART SCHOOL ISSUE”

DATE: Nov. 1977. FORMAT: Xerox, 7×8 1/2″ PAGES: 20 PRICE: $.25. PRESS RUN 100 STAFF: AL, Lash, Tory, Pooch, X-8.

Flipside Issue 4

DATE: Nov. 1977. FORMAT: Offset, 7×8 1/2″ PAGES: 20 PRICE: $.25. PRESS RUN: 300 STAFF: AL, Dean Ded, Larry lash, Pooch, X—8.

Flipside Issue 5

ISSUE # 5 DATES: December 1977. FORMAT: 7×8 1/2″, offset PAGES: 20 PRICE: $.25. PRESS RUN: 300 STAFF: Al, Dean Ded, Larry Lash, Pooch, X—8.

Flipside Issue 6

DATES: January 1978. FORMAT: 7×8 1/2 PAGES: 20 PRICE: $.25. PRESS RUN: 400 STAFF: Al, Dean Ded, Larry Lash, X-8, Pooch.

Flipside Issue 7

DATES: March 1978. FORMAT: 8 1/2×11″ Offset PAGES: 16 PRICE: $.50 PRESS RUN: 400 STAFF: Al, Dean Ded, Larry Lash, Pooch, X—8

Flipside Issue 8

DATES: May 1978. FORMAT: 8 1/2×11″ Offset PAGES: 16 PRICE: $.50 PRESS RUN: 500 STAFF: Al, Pooch, Dean Ded, Lash, Gaby, Pete, X—8

Flipside Issue 9

DATES: August 1978. FORMAT: 8 1/2×11″Offset PAGES: 16 PRICE: $.50 PRESS RUN:500 STAFF: AI, Pooch, X—8, Pete, Gaby

Flipside Issue 10

DATE: November 1978. FORMAT: 8 1/2×11” Offset PAGES: 16 PRICE: $.50 PRESS RUN: 400 STAFF: AI and X—8

Flipside Issue 11

DATES: November 1978. (Flipside Calendar for 1979) FORMAT: 7 1/2×5″, offset PAGES:28 PRICE: $1.00 PRESS RUN:500 STAFF: Al, X-8, Gerard, Gerber

Flipside Issue 12

DATES: January 1979. FORMAT: 8 1/2×11, offset PAGES: 16 PRICE: $.50 PRESS RUN: 500 STAFF: Al, X-8, Angola

Flipside Issue 13

DATES: January 1979. FORMAT: 8‘1/2×11, offset PAGES: 24 _. PRICE: $.75 PRESS RUN: 500 STAFF: AI, X—8, Angola

Flipside Issue 14

DATES: April 1979. FORMAT: 8 1/2×11, offset PRESS RUN: 700 STAFF: Al, Nate, Jill, Paul Problem, Lois, Angola, Gerard, and X—8

Flipside Issue 15

DATES: July 1979. FORMAT: 8 1/2×11, offset PAGES: 24 PRICE: $.75 PRESS RUN: 800 STAFF: Al, Jill, Paul, Angola

Flipside Issue 16

DATE: October 1979. FORMAT: 8 1/2×11, offset PAGES: 24 PRICE: $.75 PRESS RUN: 1000 STAFF: AI, Paul Problem, Jill and Hud (cover)


slid down for kicks

Topanga is the name given to the area by the Native American indigenous Tongva tribe,[7] and may mean “a place above.”

I learned to accept the major changes in my home town! The food mall galore stands where I once played miniature golf! The humongous blue slide where we slid down for kicks is gone too ! It is invisible now! Instead my mind now views the Chinese sushi restaurant where I sit with my kids !  Maybe the place where wild animals once gathered!  Gathering years before us! Underneath lies the multilayered changing earth; holding lots of fossils and maybe our cherished  lizard people!


Yesterday’s weirdness is tomorrow’s reason why. ~Hunter S. Thompson


Christmas day 2017 no cars in the street… big deal…

Anyway , I was admiring the empty Topanga Blvd! Remnant of my cherished  youthful days! The ’60s and ’70s are no more but memory time ! 

Now real-time with Son two and one 2017


Math computer science music… stress-less….


https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/cherish/

ghoulish time.

Ghoulish is one who delights in the revolting, morbid, or loathsome. 

Today is a day of terror and disdain in New York. Another violent attack on innocent people. The last month or so has been very revolting, morbid and loathsome. An attack on the soul of humanity…very sad.

I am not one who delights in the revolting, morbid or loathsome. Halloween is about running around and getting free candy. It is a time of parties with friends and family. The graceful time of honoring our ancestors.

Spirits ascend but come to visit us in the wind and in our hearts and our memories.

My cave is safe and warm with love.

A love song for all of us… what a ghoulish time.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/ghoulish/