A great dream last night
Those best feelings
of hanging with your favorite band Touring as they were Family and friends were nearby Chris Bailey was sweet His lovely sly grin shone my wayas he looked at mea rich heavy Irish accent formed few words“I’ll see ya tomorrow!” I said.Adoringly glowing a depth of loveand mutual respectJohn and I left the band until tomorrow’s show. We walked by wavingAt Nathan Jones We walked by a
large window coffee shop on the Blvd. There Ed Kuepper sat alone. Having a cup of coffee and a smoke. Standing in front of a backstage club,I looked at the band’s list.Many names flew byUnder crew - stage
I saw Holly Cornell. John pointed it out Feeling a joy Only a favorite band could give ya We will be there early tomorrow. To help and see the band .
To U.S. Representative for California’s 28th congressional district Adam Schiff
I see an illuminated bright
five pointed star
Over the emotional ocean
Of black and greasy-greedy oil
The light moving upon this darkness Wavering leaps of sparkling exuberance.This star ascends
as the current below moves
like the waves of a darkened
Depressed ocean. Shall we focus on the star For the exuberance is likeA cleaning soapA detergent affirming justice The Eagle is scrubbed clean.I see an illuminated bright
five pointed star I hear the waves of the ocean Calling to break theEagle clean.
Returns the rhythm to the rogue wavesI see justice there
hearts are buoyantUpon that black and greasy-greedy oil
awareness and mindfulness
The Eagle is scrubbed clean!
My heavenly shower is a sacred place of hot, warm or cold water. It is there for me in worst of times bones ache and chills of fever cleaning a dark soul quality away. I sing, talk and compose there I talk to my medicine animals there and say my prayers. It is an old shower with a whacked head yet the water cleans me inside and out my holy shower that sings me sweet words.
Smörgåsbord of words and feelings… some very nasty…. like me.
“In his late works , he embodied these and other ills in the nightmare ridden figure of the cosmic giant Albion, or universal humanity, who has fallen in to deadly sleep of mundane existence. In humanity’s coma, the divine is a remote and forbidding sky-god: nature a sterile heap of atoms, lovers and family members, enemies; and one’s own innermost being, an unrecognized alien.”
~Blake’s Poetry & Designs ` A Norton Critical Edition.
I realize I am being confrontational, nasty, and outrageous. It is that two-week time as we move into the autumnal equinox. I hate this time of transition, but I love autumn.
Today I had to get gas on the way to where I was going. This local gas station charged me a 30 cents gas fee. Yet this is the normal way to skim the top and make a lot of money off millions of poor people. I remember when gas stations had attendants pour the gas, check the oil, and fill the car tires. It was service with a smile.
I wish one of these monster gas companies would be brave and bring the service attendants back. They could collect the cash and we could give them the service charge… instead of a fucking machine.
Every time we take away a person’s job and replace them with a machine, we become less human.
I went into the mini-market and the cashier, who seemed to be acting as an employee, knew nothing about the fee and said,
“I don’t know why you are asking about it. You are the only one that cares? No one else has asked about it.”
I looked at her silently and squarely.
“You should know about it and all the things around you here. I must pay a fee and it is dirty filthy outside around the gas tanks. I remember the day…”
A man came forward and interrupted our conversation and the cashier looked away.
“Excuse us,” I said.
“We are talking.”
I used a finger to point to the cashier and me.
“Grumble,” said the man under his breath.
I left, telling the cashier she should lose her job for not knowing anything.
Then I came home to find standing outside my home a strange older man smoking a cigarette.
“Are you waiting for someone,” I said.
“Then why did you park here?”
The street had no other cars around. He then looked up at the tree. I then asked him to please move his car I needed to park our truck there. He seemed nice enough for not having a reason for being there besides smoking a cigarette. We talked back and forth.
“We have had issues with drug dealers around here.”
He soon left and I moved the truck out. I know I was being ridiculous. I thought it strange that he would get out of his car with his cell phone in hand to smoke a cigarette under our lovely olive tree. I did say to him.
“I don’t like the smell of cigarettes and I am sure the tree doesn’t either.”
I think upon a poem I wrote.
Any time of the year but now it is moving into the Autumn poem.
I take my broom
Last ray of sun is dead here
…it is real…
The shy clouds hide stars
Only the Moon, Jupiter and Saturn shine their breast plates.
I have three books
The Three Little Pigs,
The Three Little Kittens,
The Three Bears.
How many times did I read the books
to my two sons as babies?
I may come out with a little book
called The Three Little Praying Mantis.
A little around the edges
A spinning energy in my middle
Older and wiser and stronger
Less inspired by adolescent rantings!
So I want to write and read aloud
I want to travel and ponder
the meaning of life.
I worked for the Visiting Nurse Association as a Home Health Aide in Santa Cruz California back in 1991. I enjoyed helping the elderly, sick and crippled. I comforted them and attended to their simple needs of washing, food, and medicine. I loved their stories they shared. Most of my patients were in their 90s and their lifetimes were filled with a richness that I yearned for. They shared their stores with me.
I will share a story of Mary. She was alone in her parents’ home. A beautiful Victorian home near the shores of Santa Cruz. Only one room was used for Mary. All the other rooms, which were many, were closed off. The stairs that went to her room were something out of the novel Gone with The Wind. And to the right of these majestic stairs was a giant Ballroom with a crystal chandelier where Mary told me her stories. In the room where she lived was a single bed and a small bathroom with bath. On the wall was a painting of a lovely sailing ship. The painting was of her father’s ship. It was a family ship. She told me that she came from a sea family. It was a merchant family business.
As the times changed her family and Mary took to living on the land. She was born and raised on a ship. She knew the ocean well. Standing on ground was difficult for her as a young lady. Eventually she married. Santa Cruz was a cowboy town at the time. She told me one night when her husband made his usual advances towards her. She declined and fell asleep. He went off to the bars to sleep with a prostitute. He gave Mary gonorrhea and after that she could not have any children. It took some time, but she forgave him.
This is a poem about Mary and our walk to her special place. She told me that the wild animals that lived there sometimes would pop up in her toilet. Small rats, squirrels and lizards would sometimes appear. It did not look all that bad to me. Yet, I can only imagine how it once was.