My Punkalullaby Paperback: The Seminary Of Praying Mantis

It is complete. My Punkalullaby. I coined the term Punkalullaby in the mid-1980s. It means I live my life from one song to the next as a constant.

I had a little creative section in Los Angeles Flipside Fanzine where I included fictional stories and later came the poetry.

The history of getting this book published is a long one. First, I published it like a fanzine, in my little home computer publishing room. I sold them through PayPal. I also sold them at speaking events. During this time, before and after, I approached four publishers, talked to other punks, and had the help from a master editor. Yet the only thing I got from publishers were comments like,

“It has to be action packed filled with excitement!”

One Santa Monica publisher declined me. Years later this same publisher wanted to include my story in a hodgepodge of other punk women. No offer of royalties or compensation either. Written by a woman that had no experience with the punk scene at all. She turned out to be the usual user. Yes, I have met a lot of them over the years too.

So, I finally figured it out for myself. The punk or Flipside Fanzine way. We never asked for help in how or what we published. We did it ourselves and in our own way. So, my punk opus is completed the punk Flipside Fanzine way.

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My Punkalullaby does not countian action ball packed adventure or embellished fictions. The truth is that for me the punk scene was about supporting a growing punk scene. I did this with my whole heart. It was a great deal of work prompting a scene. I did not love every second of it, but I did learn a lot of skills along the way. Made some good long-time buddies and lost a few as well.

My Punkalullaby is a story about a young punk rocker who co-edited and published a fanzine called Los Angeles Flipside Fanzine. Hudley Flipside is a pivotal character a motif of that early punk scene.

It was a scene that I still look for although it is not there anymore. It echoes in me as a constant call. Hopefully finishing this book will help that haunting call to wane away.

Cheers to twenty years of Los Angeles Flipside Fanzine and to the underground growing punk scene. This is my ten years about it 1979 to 1989.

To Pooch, Nate, Kat, Keith and others for your encouragement and support… you know who you are! My loving family included! John, Johnfred~ Sara and family, and Shayne.

A Big thanks to

Amazon Kindle Direct Publishing

Remember to be…

More Than A Witness.

~ Hudley

Where you can buy my little paperback number…

In the Pit: Experience found guilty via an individual’s fingerprints.

26757457_1340892842683774_706547628002770944_n — https://www.facebook.com/AlisonBraunPhotography/

I see how the term Punk Rock is always trying to be defined by many. Yet the real-life definition it is not an out their term to read about in academic journals because it is based on the foundation of experience. It is viewed by the action of individuals. As shown by Pudd’nhead Wilson, (1894) the novel by American writer Mark Twain; Punk Rock is as unique as a person’s fingerprints. Mark Twain is the grand Punk Rocker. Think about that.

Punk Rock is based on the foundation of experience and is unique as a person’s fingerprints. That is clear enough. It is not who you know, or what shows you go to, or if you wear the right clothes or sport the wildest haircuts. You are a punk rocker who likes to camp out in the wilderness. It is when your deep-down dreams affirm to you that you are a punk rocker, then you know. It does not matter what others think of you either. It is a happy curse of creativity and inward ambition.

W.P. Witcutt authored a book on William Blake entitled Blake, A Psychological Study. He produced a term that explains the artist and visionary William Blake but also what a punk rocker is. A punk rocker has “introverted intuition.” Blake had introverted intuition. Blake took his deep-down creativity and brought it out upon the world in often wild, unique, and creative ways. Yes, he was a punk rocker.

Beatniks identified themselves as: Jane Doe, Beatnik, artist, writer, wife, mother. I too can say I am. Hudley Flipside, Punk Rocker, writer, artist, wife, mother. Alison Braun can be identified as Alison Braun, Punk Rocker, photographer, wife, mother (She may wish to add to the list).

When she took these pictures, being a female was not always the way of the land. Lots of guys in bands, as promoters and running record labels to communicate with and finding another female was not so easy. At least one who was a punk rocker living the life.

Creatively her photos show unique skills of capturing a time and place in our punk rock history (1981 to 1990). This is especially important for surviving punk rockers to preserve, document and tell our stories. It is a healthy natural flow of our collective unconscious experiences. To take that deep-down creativity and bring it out upon the world again is grand! I am incredibly happy to see punk rock on an individual scale like this.

One song to the next pulls me

One song to the next pulls me…

https://img0.etsystatic.com/060/1/5511624/il_340x270.747748670_e5d1.jpg

I coined the word punk@lullaby. It means that the whole time I was in the punk rock scene, from beginning to end, it was all about a song. One song to the next pulled me though the scene. Once that loud music got into my blood there was nothing like it. ~My Punk@lullaby, Journal One by Hudley Flipside.

Everyone is talking about our loss of Tom Petty. A guy whose songs play on the radio. I mean one cannot go by a day without hearing one of his songs. It wasn’t always that way. A guy from Gainesville, Florida that made it big. You can read his story. I will be focusing on one song that has magnified in my life. I am sure also too, all the good girl and bad boys of the San Fernando Valley.

“Free Fallin’” is the opening track from Tom Petty‘s solo debut album, Full Moon Fever (1989). Ya one can hear it all the time.

It is a strange song because it always makes me embarrassed because he is singing about my life. That is what good song writing does. It is inclusive. I grew up in the San Fernando Valley! I grew up walking Ventura Blvd every day. I played in the Hills of Mulholland too! Loving Elvis and riding my horse were real! It all happened for me in the 1970s. Somehow this song and the lyrics especially speak of a punk edge, a drug edge… and that wildness.

The conflict between the good girls and the bad boys is real. In my life I did not stay home with a broken heart because I eventually joined the vampires on Ventura Blvd. I instead, ironically, headed east with the bad boys. Yet I know what he is taking about.

I wonder how he knew so much about the valley for not actually growing up there. I guess some help from other artists he knew. Or found this insight hanging with friends and listening to their stories. He does dig deep into the experience of being a valley girl or guy. Anyone that grew up here as a kid all the way through to their teens has done some “free fallin’…over Mulholland.”

“I wanna glide down over Mulholland

I wanna write her name in the sky

I’m gonna free fall out into nothin’

Gonna leave this world for awhile”

Ya been there done that!! It is an amazing song for me and I always feel like he is singing about my generation! Us Valley Kids. Kind of like Social Distortion’s song Hwy 101,

“Listen to the boulevard, listen to the falling rain

I believe in love now, with all of its joys and pains

Sick boy, sick girl, looking nice dressed up on a Saturday night

Take a walk downtown for a while and chase the pale moonlight

I can still hear the mission bells and the train rolling’ through your town

Goanna leave this world behind, we’re Southern California bound.”

Chatsworth Tunnel — Chatsworth_Tunnel_27.jpg (936×960) waterandpower.org

I never went to a Tom Petty show or bought one of his records! Social Distortion I knew like the back of my hand once. Both reached a place of musical fame. We should honor them for their generational symbol of something unique and different in this world. In music, however, they manifest in our life or culture as something special about a way of life. Both songs hold value in my life and tell a damn good story. One that we all can relate too. Especially if you have been there and experienced it personally.

What Noisy Cats We Are…

Lewis McAdams: In those days cool was a survival mechanism.

I made a mistake. I thought the cover was of Bob Mould of Husker Du but instead is Ed Crawford, aka ed fROMOHIO from Firehose. Thanks goes to We Got Power: David Markey. Makes sense to me…

Big Frank asked Al if I was on the cover of issue number 50. He seemed a bit bugged. Al said no that is ed fROMOHIO of Firehose, they have an interview in the issue by Jon Mastumoto. It was our July 1986 issue. Purple cover ta boot. I saw no resemblance besides being a Noisy Cat. We were pleased with the cover.

Comrades of fanzine Ink Disease put up their interview with, “the Du” and so I felt a need to join in today. So many bands, fans, and contributors galore. Like I said before, there were many hands in the cookie jar. When we lose a friend from that tight matrix of friends of the punk scene we naturally mourn our loss, but we also share in their brilliance! When they lived with us on this short earth adventure. Wild music and rebellious dear friends, Grant Hart you are one of the cool guys.

Last Sunday I met up with an author S. W. Lauden who told me he became a writer because of his first published item in Los Angeles Flipside Fanzine in the mid ’80s. It is good to hear inspirational stories. I was happy to know that. A nice continuity even though I did not guess that punk rock would find me at an event dedicated to Lewis McAdams in celebration with Friends of the Los Angeles River.

People talk about anarchy
And taking up a fight
Well I’m afraid of things like that
I lock my doors at night
I don’t rape, and I don’t pillage
Other peoples’ lives
I don’t practice what you preach
And I won’t see through your eyes

You want to change the world
By breaking rules and laws
People don’t do things like that
In the real world at all
You’re not a cop, or a politician
You’re a person too
You can sing any song you want
But you’re still the same

I can’t think of anything
That makes me more upset
People talk all this rhetoric
Forgive but not forget
I don’t rape, and I don’t pillage
Other peoples’ lives
I don’t practice what you preach
And I won’t see through your eyes

Publications for reading pleasure…

Solar eclipse of August 21, 2017 Celebration

I hope you enjoy the coming eclipse. If you are already there or travel the journey to get there…If you need some reading material while waiting or after it is over and back to normal life… here is my stuff for your reading pleasure….

here is some eclipse music….

My Stuff….

https://hudleyflipside.com/my-shop-get-my-weird-stuff-here/

http://www.eclipse2017.org/

My Punk@lullaby Journal Four

My Punk@lullaby Journals, one through four, are now included in my paperback book for sale on Amazon.

Past process of books are not for sale at this time. A DIY product.

I have always believed, and I still believe, that whatever good or bad fortune may come our way we can always give it meaning and transform it into something of value. ~Hermann Hesse

Los Angeles Flipside Fanzine is not forgotten.

Copy number four cover

This was my concern in 2004 when I began my memoir about the punk scene I was passionately involved with. That Flipside Fanzine would be forgotten. How many punk rock books are now being sold today that mention Flipside? Enough to satisfy me. My Punk@lullaby Journals, one through four, are part of this memory. As I repeatedly say, “There are many stories from the big punk rock. Mine is just one of them. Mine is a complimentary edition to read alongside the big punk rock books out there!” My Punk@lullaby Journals share in the tapestry of the whole worth of what the original Los Angeles punk scene was and has now become! Yes, I have heard the echoes of “another old punk rock story.” This is ok for me to hear now! I can” transform it into something of value!” It is good for an elder to share stories about life. This is an ancient archetype that I have taken on.

I did approach others to have my book published. I answered my need to publish it by doing it myself. All that I learned from the original punk scene was available to me. My mind and soul, a computer and printer and a bedroom converted into an office. The integrity of Flipside Fanzine shines through these little numbers I call journals. All four journals I published myself. I am happy! As I move into turning 60, I have done something of value by completing my project. I now share my journals with the public. I was close to 30 when I left the original punk scene! That terrifying year was 1989. Yes, all that first Saturn return and second Saturn return jazz is happening as I write this post now. A continuity that I also share for those that study the oldest of synchronicity wise sciences.

My stories are not perfect stories. If you desire to buy one, or all four, I hope while reading and reflecting on my stories you will find some good values for yourself. It was an extraordinary time and we were wild free journalists documenting a scene. No one told us what to do. We were punks publishing a punk ‘zine. We were running with a tight but growing punk scene. Nobodies of an underground culture. All individuals were unique yet part of a community of rebellious friends. I still endure the punk scene.

https://hudleyflipside.com/2018/01/23/1-16-los-angeles-flipside-fanzine-covers/

https://hudleyflipside.com/2012/07/18/los-angeles-flipside-fanzine-covers-from-1979-to-1989/

Leaves In The Wind

“The Greek poet Orpheus carried Willow branches as a symbol of the inspiration this sound gave.”

I pause outside as bee and lady bug fly around. 

  Sweet is the nectar from 

lemon tree and lavender. 

Letting go of worries and

 desires that do not serve me now. 

An old friend, a song, comes to mind
 
 as my "leaves in the wind."

  Perfect are old recorded songs 

and the insect, flower and tree! 

Somehow as I pause in breathing,

 I am lost in this perfection.

 The recurring of pause of being,

the repetition of listening to old songs

the heartfelt listening and watching nature,

Is my catalyst for artistic expression. 

Never to let us down !!

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/pause/

A happy spit in the wind…

FLipside Fanzine

December 1979 is around 37 years ago. A very tight and small club of mutual fans, promoters and band members were a rebellious team. Before Henry Rollins galore, when the underground punk scene was unique, new and growing as a wildfire. I swear our agenda was as sincere and planned as peeing on the walls. I used to take a few photographs back in the day as the shift from Hollywood to Orange county became the thing like a large earthquake. Los Angeles Flipside Fanzine was there hanging with the scene. Drunk and wild as a windblown day.

I just signed an agreement to releases an image I took a long time ago about the punk scene for a film called “20th Century Women.” The image is my intellectual property. Some day when, hopefully, my grand-kids or great grand kids are viewing this film they may take to heart what their “grand ma ma” did for an underground punk scene. It feels good to share a history with a company that respected my rights. They pursued me with respect and integrity. It feels particularly good in the scheme of my life. There are many stories from THE BIG PUNK ROCK this is mine.

The photograph is of Black Flag at the Church with Keith Morris singing after they had officially broken up, a unique photograph is the photograph that I have licensed today. It is not about the money, it is about how I am still amazed that anyone would care about a hot, sleazy, little underground church basement in some place called nowheresville some 37 years ago… because we knew at that time, at that time & place, that no one gave a fuck! I am amused that this lost sentiment has changed. I am happy to signature this agreement today.

Pic is in this film, 20th Century Women

Nice to be acknowledged in closing credits.
Very honored to be a part of the film.
https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/20th_century_women/

Still trying to figure it out; Punk Wise…or pardon me your love hate is showing dear.

A Ballad to the Good ‘ole Song by Hudley

‘to the ‘young punk dead.’

Life is a song, having a beginning, middle and end. A song has a soul each time you hear it. A song shares feelings and memories which awaken the life lived. A song holds on to experiences of good and the bad times! A song has a spirit which is eternally youthful, middle-aged, and old. A song ends as all living things. A song has all the qualities of life. A song amplifies us, the human being, who create the songs and those that resurrect listening to the songs … time and time again.

Da Capo Press is under a big black sky. Yes, it is good that we all have the freedom to share our stories. In the supermarket I seem to get some deep emotions pulled up. We are all visually abused at the checkout stand. As usual I had to turn the ugly Trump man image around. Was it Time, Time/Life, Rolling Stone, People are another big media cutaneous pig where I viewed his image, and by chance the inside front page had a book review? My brain sucked it in so fast and I did not want to read it… but it came at me like a kamikaze knife. “The real punk rock …,” “X and the Go-Go’s, “the beloved untouchable Minutemen.” Then there was the one image of Henry Rollins …. His bald head.

“It is a curse…”

I put my blueberries and tortillas on the checkout stand. I know how big media gets a review in such magazines. Is it an honest interview or is it a promotional piece, or a big advertisement? It all reeks and my heart break a bit to think about how the ‘young punk dead’ would rebel against this… as they did 30 years ago.

At Los Angeles Flipside Fanzine we had an endless supply of photos of all the punk bands. It was common underground weed photographs. Not for sale, or for a museum or for any uptown media DICKS. That was not our agenda.

Henry Rollins’s shaved head,

“Twenty something years ago; what issue was my review of Black Flag live in? A show where I called him a penis head?”

I think it was because he was one big muscle of sweat. It was meant to be a humorous blow from an underground nobody punker chick reviewing just another show. Henry took it like an evangelical’s literal agenda when reading the bible. He was not hip to Los Angeles yet.

By the time the punk scene hit the ‘80s there was a continuous explosion of riptide underground movements happening at the same time. Bands like X and the Go-Go’s went with the big labels. They left the underground punk scene and faded. A mirage in the desert of big media. We did not focus on them anymore.

Was it 12 years ago when the “Old-School” nostalgia punk thing started to happen? It has passed its peak baby. I was a silly doe when I approached Santa Monica Press and Feral House Publishing 12 years ago with my memoirs about the punk scene. No one was interested. I even shared my ideas with punk Icon Keith Morris. No dice…that is how vinyl melts… old school wise.

I am not bitter just sad. I find that some people are too eager to tell their story in a big way. Big promotional campaigns and all the media hype is a downer man. I wanted to write my memoir because I was concerned that the punk scene, as Los Angeles Flipside Fanzine, might be forgotten? Why am I so loyal …? I am still trying to figure it out!

What I have learned is this, I am more determined to do it myself now. DO It Myself BABY… locally and with my own media machine; a computer, scanner, and little art closet. I have my heavenly share of nasty sharpie pens, erasers, and pencils too. I’ll hang with a community of peasants that don’t really want to break the membrane into the realm of fame and stars on Hollywood. I’ll stay a bard of the earth and sky, in the alley .

Irrelativity

“…Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
I find comment ’bout my looks irrelativity,
Think I’ll go and have some fun,
‘Cos it’s all for free.
I’m not searching for a reason to enjoy myself…,” – Yardbirds

009 — How I looked in the dream last night !

Had one of those dreams of being back at the scene of the 1980s. A club morphed into a Golden Voice show! The tight feelings were there of knowing all the bands and the characters and players! Jim Kaa of the Crowd was talking in my ear when brother Gus showed up. We are not talking these days, but in this dream, we approached each other for a forgiving hug when I turned into myself. How I look now.

I asked myself if I had the password to get into the show? I said it does not matter because I am in and not going anywhere!

Lots of guys from bands were roaming around! I was consciously aware enough to dig being back in the middle of things. Running around and being part of what was happening…like everyone else there! My scene, my friends, something to offer and cover! Al approached me; we then were at an adjoining Chinese restaurant. We were shooting the breeze! I was wondering where the bar was ’cause a cold beer sounded good to ease my social tension!

Al Flipside had a new computerized contraption that took pictures, recorded bands, and interviewed bands; ready for documenting the whole scene. All from a large black computer book!

He was on the cutting edge and creative as usual. As we were eating our noodles a band came on! Al said he had to go see about a band. I told him go ahead I will watch over your noodles until you get back!!

I awoke from the dream with a missing feeling of belonging once to a music scene that was overwhelming wild and unpredictable. I was spoiled then! My heart will always mourn those days of youthful rebellion!