It turns me on. Enough said

Now I try to feel it as often as I can. When I get the hard-on for life. Flowers blooming, a song, my friends all help to amplify this experience.

Jung Remarked of someone: “At least she is trying to work on her animus and that is the most meritorious thing that anyone can do.”

~ Pg. 161 The Animus: The Sprint of Inner Truth in Women by Barbara Hannah

I love this picture my son took of me. It is that time when I united the male and female within me. Symbolized by my two tattoos of Dionysian Hollyhocks.

I was reading that Indian Gurus’ overall goal is to unite all religions of the world. They also talk about united male female gods.

This is very simplistic I know. Also, the religions of the world have tended to be very male oriented. As most cultures or all cultures for the last two thousand years.

As a religious studies major in college, BA and Masters, I always had a thorn in my side.

With in-depth Jungian Psychology I have found the answers to many of my concerns. For me it was uniting the masculine and feminine within myself, or in Jungian terms the “anima and animus.“

“Together they form a divine pair, one of whom in accordance with his Logos nature, is characterized by Pheuma and Nous rather like Hermes with his ever-shifting hues, while the other, in accordance with her Eros nature wears the gestures of Aphrodite, Helen (Selene,) Persephone and Hecate. Triple Goddess

Both of them are unconscious powers, “gods” in fact as in the ancient world…”

Pg. 21 AION Carl Jung

I have a “hard-on” for life. Even within the diversity of life right now. I can’t help getting one when I see flowers in bloom and the whole of nature in a type of rapture. Welcome Spring or Autumn as my favorite times of the year. It is not the male kind of hard-on but it something inside. Not sexual but very blissful-orgasmic at times

It is ironical for me to have these feelings while also having to balance it out with my compassion for what we are all going through right now historically. I know it is a dark time, a real challenge for all of us in different ways.

I am mindful of those suffering. They are not alone when we think upon them. I have love in my home that comforts me.

Also, the human Ego is my friend.

I think that males and females have a different relationship with their Egos.

I feel males need to let their Egos float downstream a little.

I think females should ride their Egos.

It is good to be admired as it is to admire another.

I like the feeling of appreciation as well as when I feel the feelings of the appreciation for others.

As a female riding her Ego it is like riding in a canoe.

Sometimes the river is smooth and glossy.

Other times it is a prissy fucking nightmare.

Yet we need to express our realities to the world…

as I am doing here.

My self especially as contrasted with another self or the world.

Imagine it all coming together again. No

( Sorry to say Covid-19 hit and this event was canceled. 2020 )

Amazingly we are still alive. Punk Rock Bowling with the celebration of 40 Years of the Circle Jerks and Charged GBH this spring. I am besides myself with joy to be attending. Yes, all the bands seem interesting, yet my history also includes Madness.

Madness:

When I was a 19-year-old punk I was looking for a 45 by Prince Buster entitled Madness. This stirred me on a strange journey to a Los Angeles record store. They never could locate that 45 for me. Then the band came touring. At least the name of the band was right. Playing the Whisky A Go Go.

I remember dancing to the band with Kick Boy Face from SLASH MAGAZINE (my first Punk Rock correspondence.) (Slosh and Flopside) It was grand beyond grand. Imagine it all coming together again.

Punk Rock Bowling 2020

Some of my best punk memories.

GBH:

Ross’s bass guitar case. GBH 1980s

I am standing in this image next to Ross’s first bass guitar case. He gave it to me. He bought a new one. I lost it. Yet, my mom had put it in a special place.

After her death we cleaned out the basement and their it was. How happy that mom preserved some wonderful punk history.

I still have it and will give it “will it” to my sons. I love it like punk rock. I hope I am not sucking on Ross’s “tits” when I say I love him too.

Thanks for thinking of me back then. All the best and looking forward to Las Vegas for a week of punk and beyond bliss.

Circle Jerks:

FLipside Fanzine — Circle Jerks Cover by Edward Colver

City Baby from Highgate to Hawaii, Life and GBH by Ross Lomas. One of my most popular posts in ten years…

Los Angeles Flipside Fanzine # 20 Circle Jerks Cover

A Letter to Bernie Taupin, Alfred E. Newman and Gahan Wilson.

Al Jaffee, King of the Mad Magazine Fold-In, Dies at 102

“Allan Jaffee (born Abraham Jaffee; March 13, 1921 – April 10, 2023) was an American cartoonist. He was notable for his work in the satirical magazine Mad, including his trademark feature, the Mad Fold-in. Jaffee was a regular contributor to the magazine for 65 years and is its longest-running contributor. In a 2010 interview, Jaffee said, “Serious people my age are dead.” ~Mechanic, Michael (September 24, 2010). “Cartoonist Al Jaffee, the Original Mad Man”. Mother Jones. Retrieved October 10, 2012.

Dear Teachers,

These are the Benadryl days.

Too much listening to Elton John and remembering my crush on Bernie Taupin. Foggy dreams. Dreams where the threads of remembering can’t be pulled down into this world. A changing mixture of memories swirling around me that I have experienced in real time. Remembering my, heart heart ~fun fun, days as a youth and teenager.

As sitting under the pool table in the boy’s room reading Mad Magazine and Playboy. Alfred E. Neuman or cartoonist Gahan Wilson went on to inspire me in my own fanzine. Where I created images or doodled between the pages.

Magazines are now becoming obsolete. Newspapers stands too except for the billionaires that do resurrect some. A fight that is not going to win.

To my teachers that came from those awesome perverted magazines.

Love,

Hudley Flipside aka Holly

Centrifuge Going So Swiftly

Rocket Man Review: The Film

“And we went to California and up and down the Pacific Coast for a day and a half, settling at last on the sands of Malibu to cook wieners at night. Dad was always listening or singing or watching things on all sides of him, holding onto things as if the world were a centrifuge going so swiftly that he might be flung off away from us at any instant.”~
Ray Bradbury. The Rocket Man

“I’ve been a cunt since 1975.”- Elton John

Rocket Man explained a lot about Elton John that confused me since 1975. I love autobiographical stories and memoirs. What a joy! Elton John shared his psyche with the world. A healed psyche that was given more then a second chance.

The film has that real deal 1970s thing going that sprang forth from the late 1960s. The chance that two genius dudes like Elton John and Bernie Taupin found each other is amazing. So grateful! I enjoyed the integrity, depth and darkness shared in this film. The world of rock & roll was not romanticized.

Fun musical choreographed dance scenes moved through the film. Bernie Taupin’s lyrics enhanced by being sung clearly and slowly made me want to sing and dance along.

I love Elton John and Bernie Taupin’s music especially the years between 1971-1974. I include in this review a conclusion with an early song written 1971 entitled Friends. I think the song Friends was a song of amazing foresight. As if Bernie knew the journey ahead would be a difficult one. Especially for Reginald Kenneth Dwight!

“Friends is a 1971 teen-romance film directed and produced by Lewis Gilbert and written by Gilbert, Vernon Harris, and Jack Russell. The soundtrack, with music composed by Elton John and Paul Buckmaster, and lyrics written by Bernie Taupin, was released as the Friends album, and John’s recording of the title selection charted when released as a single in the United States.”

1970 my favorite

The Avengers, the Dils and the Alley Cats.

Sunday May 26, 2019

Before the show I went to an Italian Restaurant nearby. I sat at the bar and had a Guinness and a plate of pasta. Before the Avengers came on the DJ put on The Saints (I’M) Stranded… it came at me like a loud wave which devoured me… transforming the event into an excellent experience I never will forget.

Part of my DNA

I will be the time to join with punk comrades and celebrate our originators and characters of the early California punk scene. The Avengers, the Dils and the Alley Cats.

In memory of Jimmy Wilsey

Once someone dies, their life becomes a story, infinite, Like a song forever more.

Back then it was a tight underground, alternative punk. rock scene. Bands were unclassified and their songs unique. I found myself melting into a wild alchemy of youths that. had something new to say.

We were finding our voice. All the unknown characters were there. Nobodies create a scene together. Seeing punk bands during the early Los Angeles punk scene, I was not always aware of all the members in the band. Instead, the feel of drums, bass and guitar grabbed me. into a wild joyful submission. After a few times seeing a band, the lyrics and the vocals brought depth and understanding to any band’s song.

I was shaking to the sounds. wanting to go to all the shows. After getting involved with Los Angeles Flipside Fanzine All the players in the bands became focused and clear. I listened to their voices. I got to know them on a personal level. I went from being a face in the crowd. to writing about punk bands and getting to know band members as friends.

The sound of the Avengers was my grounding or anchoring into that early punk? scene. Those first days I awoke……

It was fantastic! The Dils I learned about indirectly through another Flipside staff writers. The Alley Cats was the band, they were the heart of the early punk scene which I got to know the best at that time. Jimmy was a part of that scene.

I did not know him personally but indirectly, Yet his sound moved me often into states of wild frenzy. I am grateful for all the vinyl records that contain that. story, song, or sound of our youthful rebellion. Of Jimmy’s youthful rebellion.

Yet a “live” band is always best. It is great to still be here, currently, part of our punk rock. history. Thanks to Randy and Penelope for letting me speak today. to show my love and respect.

I stumbled into the early punk scene. The Australian Saints and the San Franciscan Avengers gave me the courage to go and see any other alternative underground bands on my own. I found myself melting into a wild alchemy of youths that had something to say. We were finding our voices. All the unknown characters were there, nobodies creating a scene together. We were wild and knew all the songs by heart by The Dils, The Alley Cats and the Avengers.

I will be there handing out some badges joining in the event in memory of our youthful rebellion that is still the heart beat of this crazy continuity of punk rock that still drives our DNA onward.

***Images from Los Angeles Flipside Fanzine***

The Avengers, The Dils and The Alley Cats + many special guests (A Celebration of the Life of Jimmy Wilsey) at Echoplex

https://www.facebook.com/events/623081094804740/

Got to sing along, scream along…. the opening song played before The Avengers went on was The Saints winning song… a great DJ and event of good memories.

This song went on and I swear the earth moved as the song grabbed my spine… it was a Saints’ Hallelujah moment.

2016 Film 20TH CENTURY WOMEN

20^TH CENTURY WOMEN

Photo included in this Film

Black Flag with Keith Morris Singing. Last image of this band in their original lineup.1979

Nice to be acknowledged in closing credits.
Very honored to be a part of the film.

My review of Film….

In the film 20th Century Women …women are at the table.

Masseuse.

At about 8 o’clock PM.

The unpredictable Crazy days are far behind me, and the routines of life have set in.

Family and cats bring the little rituals of life which bring symmetry into the chaos of living such as racing through traffic and surviving, watching current politics, and not having a heart attack, and realizing that we all die.

It is comforting to know that we live in a recycling universe, or so it seems. The point being within the light and darkness of life are the routines of everyday living that does bring joy.

Last night was a normal trash night. The difference in the routine is when husband said that there are two cars parked in our unmarked-marked trash can places. The usual sounds of annoyance on his part made me think about visiting with our new neighbors and asking them to move one of the cars so we might have a place for our trash cans.

The green sweat coat with 1976 on it pulled over my shoulders and I was off. I found myself in front of the neighbor’s house. Placing a knock knock and then pushing a ring ring upon their door and door button. Something expanded when I heard the ring ring.

It was a different kind of ring ring. It being a tasteful and alluring sound. The front door was half window, and I could see in as one of my neighbors looked back at me. I mumbled something about the trash cans. The neighbor’s eyes widened open.

Dressed in a light blue robe, looking confused, my neighbor opened the door slightly. Having a face that was angular like something out of a Pablo Picasso painting such as Les Demoiselles d’Avignon, 1907 during his cubism period; caught me off guard.

The new neighbors had radically changed the format and structure of the house since the last owner. As the door opened there was only a white hallway that met about halfway through the house. Directly on the wall before me was a giant painting of what looked like a Toulouse-Lautrec, Jane Avril Dancing painting.

Yet this painting was one woman with her leg up and a giant red dress like a blooming flower. Once there were two rooms here one leading right and one left. One into a game room and the other into the kitchen. Not anymore. Straight ahead was a veil into another reality.

Our conversation was quick. I told the neighbor our problem. I was told that each of them had a massage therapist come out for a special treat massage and that the cars were theirs. I was also told that both were almost finished.

Like clockwork each masseuse left in their two separate cars. I put out my two trash cans under the crescent moon of a very dark night. Feeling nicely surreal and wondering about our new neighbors?

I wish I could say that they turned out to be nice…

Who’s Soul did Frankenstein’s monster have?

“‘…from that moment [he] declared everlasting war against the species, and more than all, against [Frankenstein] who had formed [him] and sent [him] forth to this insupportable misery.'” 1)
Shelley, Frankenstein , Chapter 16, p. 12

Once upon a time I found the novel by Mary Shelley, Frankenstein, the new Prometheus. I became friends with Frankenstein’s monster. He was not the film version because I looked to the quality of his brilliant soul.

I wrote a short story entitled, Who’s Soul did Frankenstein’s monster have? I put the story in a folder and took it with me wherever I went. I was inspired and torn by my insight.

I felt I may have understood something no one else ever dared to wonder about. This was back in the 1980’s. Then, as busy, and as careless as a young punk might be, I lost the folder at a Mexican restaurant up-town Whittier, CA.

This loss haunted my nights. Back then backing-up-files was not so easy. This may have been before floppy disks? I did not make a copy of my short story of a monster’s revelations.

I did keep the little doodles about the story which I will share today. Maybe I did not misplace the folder. Maybe someone took it and still has it?

As one gets older time seems to bend backwards . It comes towards you so you can say hello again to those times of youthful inspiration.

I looked through all of my plastic boxes to find these images in my art closet. So glad the doodles were safe and not lost.

4th fave song… bunch of goons !

My 4^th favorite song is Vandals – I Want To Be A Cowboy .

As a young punk all the words were being thrown around. Anarchy, chaos, discord and mayhem.

It rang around me via songs, voices and written lyrics and published fanzines. and punk friends. I never thought the ideals I supported would manifest via a gangster presidency?

These words were used as ways to inspire creative freedom. This words for me meant the ability to do things on your own terms to help others not to tear them apart.

To confront cruel authority, not to create a foundation for dictatorship or fascist tendencies.

So much for deconstructionist if born again AA punks’ side with the enemy. It is a wake up call for us all.

How to keep a conversation going is not always possible.

Humor as, it was only for a fun experience, can be thrown in there. Yet I am keeping my integrity at my hip. My mind set to do it myself. As always, it may not be popular.

On my mind when i woke up….

I know what I write here. It is the pun-rock curse. A fan, promoter band thing. As a fan it was my dream to meet the bands and the promoters. The intimacy and friendships that formed are endearing for me. There was a time and place about eight years ago that I brought two bands together. Rikk Agnew Band (cult of ‘58) and The Black Widows (carry a big stick). It was a time when the San Fernando Valley was beaming with a few hot spots or punk and alternative music hubs. My one promotion time right after a 10-year Flipside Fanzine flopped. My mom had just died and I had two boys that needed me at 8 and 16 and I was acting like the teenager… for a while. Eight years ago is fast growing time for two boys. Life is new and exciting. Eight years for a 52-year-old is slow and precious. I introduced A Pretty Mess and Rikk Agnew and Panic Movement to a good night of old-time buddies and new ones. I was trying to bring together many aspects of the scene at that time and place that I loved. I like small shady clubs and intimate encounters. It was a happy night of loud live music. I was delighted and still think about that night often. I see that the Rikk Agnew Band and The Black Widows will be playing at Cafe NELA coming up this month. Sweet. I guess seeing this event brought back a few fantastic memories. So much has changed but this is so surreal & feels good to my old punk rock bones.

https://www.facebook.com/events/2180430575536192/?notif_t=event_calendar_create&notif_id=1535937037942310