Still trying to figure it out; Punk Wise…or pardon me your love hate is showing dear.

A Ballad to the Good ‘ole Song by Hudley

‘to the ‘young punk dead.’


Life is a song, having a beginning, middle and end. A song has a soul each time you hear it. A song shares feelings and memories which awaken the life lived. A song holds on to experiences of good and the bad times! A song has a spirit which is eternally youthful, middle-aged, and old. A song ends as all living things. A song has all the qualities of life. A song amplifies us, the human being, who create the songs and those that resurrect listening to the songs … time and time again.

Da Capo Press is under a big black sky. Yes, it is good that we all have the freedom to share our stories. In the supermarket I seem to get some deep emotions pulled up. We are all visually abused at the checkout stand. As usual I had to turn the ugly Trump man image around. Was it Time, Time/Life, Rolling Stone, People are another big media cutaneous pig where I viewed his image, and by chance the inside front page had a book review?  My brain sucked it in so fast and I did not want to read it… but it came at me like a kamikaze knife. “The real punk rock …,” “X and the Go-Go’s, “the beloved untouchable Minutemen.” Then there was the one image of Henry Rollins …. His bald head.

“It is a curse…”

I put my blueberries and tortillas on the checkout stand. I know how big media gets a review in such magazines.  Is it an honest interview or is it a promotional piece, or a big advertisement? It all reeks and my heart break a bit to think about how the ‘young punk dead’ would rebel against this… as they did 30 years ago.

At Los Angeles Flipside Fanzine we had an endless supply of photos of all the punk bands. It was common underground weed photographs. Not for sale, or for a museum or for any uptown media DICKS. That was not our agenda.

Henry Rollins’s shaved head,

“Twenty something years ago; what issue was my review of Black Flag live in? A show where I called him a penis head?”

I think it was because he was one big muscle of sweat. It was meant to be a humorous blow from an underground nobody punker chick reviewing just another show. Henry took it like an evangelical’s literal agenda when reading the bible. He was not hip to Los Angeles yet.

By the time the punk scene hit the ‘80s there was a continuous explosion of riptide underground movements happening at the same time.  Bands like X and the Go-Go’s went with the big labels. They left the underground punk scene and faded. A mirage in the desert of big media. We did not focus on them anymore.

Was it 12 years ago when the “Old-School” nostalgia punk thing started to happen? It has passed its peak baby. I was a silly doe when I approached Santa Monica Press and Feral House Publishing 12 years ago with my memoirs about the punk scene. No one was interested. I even shared my ideas with punk Icon Keith Morris. No dice…that is how vinyl melts… old school wise.

I am not bitter just sad. I find that some people are too eager to tell their story in a big way. Big promotional campaigns and all the media hype is a downer man. I wanted to write my memoir because I was concerned that the punk scene, as Los Angeles Flipside Fanzine, might be forgotten? Why am I so loyal …? I am still trying to figure it out!

What I have learned is this, I am more determined to do it myself now. DO It Myself BABY… locally and with my own media machine; a computer, scanner, and little art closet. I have my heavenly share of nasty sharpie pens, erasers, and pencils too. I’ll hang with a community of peasants that don’t really want to break the membrane into the realm of fame and stars on Hollywood. I’ll stay a bard of the earth and sky, in the alley .

It is ok !!


San Fernando Mission 2012, Photo taken By Shyane Cornell

Being alive we are all touched by many things. Music especially moves me. It is a powerful touch! I like all types of music. But what really touches my soul, my human condition is Jazz. It touches me and pulls me in to a connection with life as a link up. With all the crazy times… good and bad,  Jazz incarnates me into the real world.

“It is fucking ok to be a human and feel what I am feeling, think what I am thinking … even love and hate what I do!!”

Jazz is my musical mixing factor of being in a good groove with the world. In times like ours Jazz cools me off from the fire of my emotional soul and makes me feel clean…and just OK!!

The world can be a big pain in the ass, but while I am listening to Jazz…

“It be cool…to be a human being…regardless!!”

Tomorow is the last day of Ophiuchus

Nov./29 to December/17

Public domain image..

Also known as Asclepias raised by Chiron. He is known as the Serpent Bearer, and the 13th constellation of the zodiac. Beliefs aside, astrologer, astronomer, mystic or atheist; he is a profound healer. Just to look at this symbol is powerful enough. I have the image above on my bedroom wall. I often forget that it is even there. 

I pass by this time-frame of the year without a thought of him. Today I did and so he deserves this recognition. A whisper from the world of symbols and possibilities…

He takes the venom of the snake to heal the evil darkness of the world. I known we need him around!!

Man Flower stencil
Stencil By Hudley

Whoosh of Wind

Memories are strange. Real experience, imagination and day dreaming in a few moments of time, take on a flavor in one’s mind. These all can be as a massive inward thinking collage blended together. What is it in us which differentiates the difference?

Husband and son went for a run around the block. Dusk was close at hand by an hour or so. The knock at the door took me off guard. I went to open the door thinking that son locked the door and wanted back in. I opened the door and there stood mom and dad. My heart raced to see them standing there as if nothing had happened. I invited them in.

“We were at Trader Joes and thought we would stop by,” said mom.
“I see. Isn’t there one closer by your home?”
I looked at mom and she looked at dad.
“I wanted a certain type of  beer and they ran out, so we went to the other. I think mom wanted to stop by and see the work you are doing on the pool!!”
“Ok, well as you see they took off all the plaster and next week they will pull out the skimmer and put in the new Blue tiles.”
“Oh that will look nice honey,” said mom
“Yes, the kids still swimming?” Dad said with a heavy voice.
“Yes they still enjoy it as well as myself!!”
I then asked if they wanted some coffee. Dad said a beer would be nice. Mom gave him an intense stare and said,
“Got a glass. I’ll have some too ‘cause I am thirsty.”
I cut up some Irish cheese and they had a few bites. Dad got antsy and said,
“Well gal, I think it is time to go, we have some groceries in the back of the car and they need to be put in the fridge!!”
I’ve learned not to fight this behavior of my parents; of coming and leaving in a short amount of time.
As in a whoosh of wind they were gone.

Son came back. Then about fifteen minutes later husband came back. I did not tell them about my parents visit.  Mirage, a human mirage of brief moments that now seem real in my memories. Even though Mom and Dad passed away…a few long years now.


Soap Box # 1, This planet will never find peace….


“And when at last you find someone to whom you feel you can pour out your soul, you stop in shock at the words you utter— they are so rusty, so ugly, so meaningless and feeble from being kept in the small cramped dark inside you so long.”― Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath

As a woman who is now projecting my writings and a housewife lost in the world of perpetual beauty that always keeps that erection up, I see the war a coming. Don’t you realize that we humans can never find peace in the world outside!  It is an impossibility and false assumption that all peace punks and Greenpeace people hold so dear. I laugh…

“Ha Ha!!”

Here I write on my blogging soap box to all that will hear me. On this little planet we are on, she is a warrior planet and I dare say she pisses off all the other planets as well as our solar system for that matter.

“Ha Ha!”

The fucking war machine wages on.  From one generation to the next. Whacking-off to the cooperate profits of Its glorified power.

“Ha, Ha I say…Ha Ha!!”

As the tides turn, as the seasons come and go and we are born and die; the polarity of life is in constant conflict and this motivates us all.

“Ha, Ha, Ha!”

The earth is a princess warrior and she isn’t going to stop ever!

I hate this, I reject this…but I have learned to know it as truth…the only real peace is inside each of us.

To find peace on this planet is impossible, but only when we seek it within can we know it as the bombs blast off around us!

And Sylvia Plath reflectively knew the place as,

“in the small cramped dark inside you.”

Yelling from the crowd, of maybe 20 drunks..

“Get of the fuckin’soap- box, ha ha ha… “

THis is dedicated to the young gal who cut me off on the road this morning, a slicer, … irritation is the way to hallelujah glorious peace… so get mad and enjoy the ride!!

The Swing

Making my way outside close to dusk, my friends and I ran down the street.

North, we ran towards the Indian trails.

Down the trails we fell like the sun, running and sliding down the wild sage trails.

Past the large rock over Dumetz we went.

Across the street and over up the other hill we climbed.

We ran past wild weeds, pepper and eucalyptus trees as the smell awakened our desire to reach the swing on the hill.

The free swing on a rope with a wood seat.

We took turns flying over the hill that dropped far below.

We challenged gravity as the sun set and the stars smiled; we were breathing, laughing with our youthful joys.

Unsquare Uncup

I eat meat, fish and vegetables. My philosophy is~ we have all killed and been killed; we have all eaten and been eaten. This is the continuity of life, death and rebirth and today I feel like shining.  I hope to do it a little bit better each time around.

Hudley's flowers
Resurrection flowers of a waxing moon on November 2013. Last years flowers are looking mighty good this year…

When I go a looking for something if I start out Googling; I first type Yup I prefer YAHOO. Then it is to the music I go. Today I went to  KJazz 88.1 FM to find the song on my mind at about 7:40 am this morning. It is the jazz song by the Dave Brubeck Quartet called  Unsquare Dance.005 I needed to get it right. This was all done after I went shopping, and after I took the groceries to the car. Also it was done after I looked up to get in the car and saw someone take a picture of me with their hand-held device from their car. I caught him. He was in a SUV. He had on a hat with a small goatee on his chin. He was around 45 to 50 something. Very creepy


Before I looked  up this song and after I went shopping and put my grocers in the car seeing a strange man take a picture of me;  I went crazy in the kitchen. I cooked up some scallops , sesame seeds, yellow squash and zucchini. I made black forest bacon and scallops without wooden spears to make my treat. I highlighted this all with some San Luis Obispo garlic sourdough bread and a uncup of my favorite coffee; Java Delight Donut Shop.


Does the Eagle know what is in the pit?
Or wilt thou go ask the Mole?
Can Wisdom be put in a silver rod?
Or Love in a golden bowl?
The Book of Thel, Thel's Motto (1789–1792)
~ William Blake

From Mama Mantis’s cave..

Hand held Sony Camera and food by Hudley

During the hot, dripping, mucky, cenobite summer mama cooks in her cave.  Here we have sqauw rolls covered with a secret tomatoes sauce, marinated tomatoes & red onions… covered with copper kettle Parmesan cheese… with a little jazz, life seems cooler. Pop these babes in the oven until the rolls are toasty and the cheese melts… and happy animals all around!!

I think I have found I am in the process of vegetarianism speaking to me again but contradiction howls as Coyote says,

“Keep it cool baby…keep it cool!”

She is chewing on hallowed out bones…ohhhh. She tells me her stories; the whisperings of tricks, humor, love and barbecue ribs. I give her a sly glance. I just don’t know if I want to take her too seriously. I have been fooled before.


Day starts with a baby possum in the door screen,

put it on a tree branch in the backyard,

for mama to find,

get in the car with a run,

soon we are caught in traffic…

but then this song comes on our car radio…

and living is sweet.

A little Jazz…

and everything is all right baby !!

“Maybe that’s what life is…a wink of the eye and winking stars.” Jack Kerouac quote

We listen to KKJZ FM on the way to school

A couple of songs made me feel real cool

I am trusting my intuition

owls leading me to inspiration

Two songs

Trust me and Like Young.

I feel the cool weather coming

before it comes..

I love Autumn.. it makes me feel like young…!!