This is not about the blue footed boobies… or is it a midnight summer dream ?

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Do you like boobs a lot?

Boobs a lot boobs a lot?

Do you like boobs a lot?

Boobs a lot boobs a lot?

I found a women’s book about bodies as they grow older. Mature bodies. In it was a chapter on female breasts. You know, ‘one, two or three’…as in the gal at the bar in the original film Total Recall.  In this chapter on women’s breasts were affirmations for women to affirm out loudly,

“My breasts nourish the world …or… The warmth of my breasts attracts universal love of nurturing.”

Of course, I did not affirm the quotes loudly. I wrote them in my journal instead. My big beautiful boobs need the love of universal nurturing. They have passed the stage of Playboy Cover girl Photoshop.

Is it the Scot Irish in me or the French that has given me these glorious numbers? I remember a scene in the film American Beauty when our young heroine laughs when after all the dread and depression of her early teens of not having any boobs; then knowing that all she had to do is just wait a few years, because now she had a big pair. That was the humor of the scene.

My 8-year-old niece once told me she thought that,

“God is a giant boob in the sky dripping milk to everyone.”

We both laughed about her vision.

They are big and round

They’re all around

They are big and round

They’re all around

Going to Kaiser Permanente to have a mammogram is a real treat.  Sister Sallie and I think it would be nice if the Breasts Center at Kaiser might have murals or pictures of breasts everywhere. All the different kinds. Not all breasts are big and round like mine…but most are round. I know it would be easier going through the mammogram ’wonderful glowing experience’ if I had a wide selection of ‘Boobs a lot’ to view on the walls at Kaiser.  It would be humorous and human at the same time.

Anyhow, after writing the boob affirmation down in my journal I had a cosmic event happen of weird proportions. I went out to the local pub and a guy I’ve known, kind of short, but a cool dude asked me,

“Having fun hanging with all the guys tonight?” As I was holding a nice fresh pint I said, “Just drinking My beer.”

Do you like boobs a lot?

Boobs a lot boobs a lot?

“Well sometimes that is all it takes, you are beautiful. I like your chest… I am boobies man.” I gave him a look of inward knowing… that the affirmation worked…but he did not know this. I said with a toast,

“Cheers to the Irish.”

Then he walked away. I felt all glowing and happy. A few years earlier I would have kicked his ass for saying what he did to me!! Funny how aging turns my anger into accepting humor? I was laughing at him. I do that a lot. Guys think they are so above the game. I got big boobs and an even bigger brain… wicked smart I am.

They are big and round

They’re all around

Do you like boobs a lot?

Boobs a lot boobs a lot?

It is a ‘new moon’ tonight and this is a loony short embellished story about boobs a lot

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