You tell me that I make no difference
At least I’m fucking trying
What the fuck have you done?
October 21st, Los Angeles CA, The Regent – Q and A with Henry Rollins, filmmaker(s) and others moderated by Ian Svenonius. And Ian MacKaye showed up.
I have deleted posts about it before, but I will make it nice and sweet. The creators of this documentary came to my home and interviewed me. A few years later, I was asked to go to the premiere and help promote the event. I was happy to have my freely shared items included in this documentary.
At the Los Angeles premiere, I learned that I had been edited out of the documentary. Excluded from the panel and marginalized, I felt overlooked despite my support and visits to the Dischord house.
To my dismay, my interview was replaced by some creep asshole from Black Market Baby reading from an offbeat letter that I had originally included in Flipside Fanzine years ago. This decision struck me as not just a disregard for my contribution but as a complete dismissal of the work I put into documenting the rich history of the DC music scene. My interview had provided an in-depth board capturing the connections of all the DC bands closely knit together, lined up with significant black line detailing their history. It feels like my work and the connections I highlighted were just used as a backdrop for someone else’s narrative without giving any credit to my formation or creative endeavors.
The way I was treated left a bitter taste in my mouth, and I find myself struggling to maintain respect for the integrity of a scene I once admired. I entered this project with good, honest intentions and instead found myself belittled and treated poorly. It was dispiriting to see how the very community that championed the ideals of inclusivity seemed to fall short when it came to acknowledging the contributions of women.
I have waited for a big apology but have received none, leaving me feeling disillusioned. The individuals I once looked up to, people like Ian and Henry, now feel like a great disappointment. I cannot shake the feeling that they, and others in the scene, have perpetuated a sexist atmosphere that marginalizes women like me. I had revered them as legends, believing they represented the best of what this music scene had to offer. It turns out they are just flawed individuals who, in my eyes, have lost their way and their respect for equality.
We all grow up and sometimes our fond memories are tragically replaced by the betrayal of that innocence. This experience has been a harsh reminder that not every hero stands the test of time, and perhaps there are layers to this scene that I was naive to overlook. To put it plainly, Ian, Henry, and the rest are a significant disappointment to Los Angeles Flipside Fanzine and to me personally. They can all go fuck off.
