45 degree persuasion


mushy carrot 2 pi

“In this piece, she applies skillfully to a situation that seems born to contain it her signature piece of understanding by taking the reader on a journey of attitudes-from lofty remove to guarded self-deception to reluctant admission-that disentangles a knot of emotion as familiar as the back of any age-spotted hand.” Pg. 42  The Situation and the Story by Vivian Gornick

When I go to the local pub it is to relax, listen to some tunes and talk a little with friends. I always have room to meet new ones, regardless of their age, religiosity, political persuasion or weight.  At the ripe old age of 55 I know for a fact that no fucking body is perfect!!! I do not insult others or try to make them feel bad about themselves.  I do react to negative comments about me or my friends from others. I know the difference between humor, sarcasm or intolerance. I do not try to effect a change in the angle of a guy’s carrot. I am not interested in inspiring a 45 degree angle. Sexual geometry is not my thing. When I hear comments whispered behind my back like;

“Who is the old building with funky clothes? “

I feel the discrimination of ageiem and sexism. I don’t forget these comments and who they came from.

One guy had the guts to ask me,

“Shouldn’t you be home baking cookies?”

So what kind of images does this bring up for you? I was deeply enraged by this and almost punched him in the nose…but was honestly feeling good so I turned it back on him with humor. I then let him know that in the past I would have attacked him and knocked him down….

“Ha Ha…”

My father and a brother were mean like this, and I have had to deal with this type of sexism and intolerance. They would go into a Trader Joes and would verbally judge women.

“Oh she is a fat ass…etc.”

Letting women hear if ever so subtlety. I always have been a confrontational child and would let them know what asses they were. As if the whole female population is based on how fuckable they are to them.

So the other night I was having a great time with friends at the local pub. I feel safe and respected there most of the time. Yet, the shadow punched off me with a nasty derogatory statement about my age as I was leaving the pub.

“Goodbye Grandma.”

Yes I heard it. I guess I was not inspiring the 45 degree angle like the youngster female behind the bar. That is ok that is why they hire them young. Unconsciously the stupid young man will buy more beer; maybe sales are down and they need the 45 degree persuasion to sell more beers.

I am a good friend to have regardless of my age. I like to be called a crone because I am an older woman. If you take the time to look past all the things that don’t make me fuckable or all the things you discriminate against, I have some interesting stories to share about life; antidotes that may help out a youngster like you.  Yet, if you are anything like my Dad and brother, watch out cause I will be on your case. I will find you and the next time that angle will be a mushy carrot 2 pi !!

Author: Hudley Flipside

Welcome to Hudley Flipside’s “The Seminary Of Praying Mantis Publishing.” Praying mantis shows me her story of life, death, and rebirth. For me she is an image or symbol of the divine in all things. I watch the praying mantis in my garden and have taken her image as my logo. She is an amazing little creature, and I relate to her connection to nature. We are both wild and part of this strange world. She is a part of my mythology as I am part of hers.

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