“a pleasure out of the ordinary allowed to oneself: the luxury of an extra piece of cake or a foolish or worthless form of self-indulgence: the luxury of self-pity”
When I think of the time years ago when I walked away from the freedom to create by the means of so many different mediums, I cry. For this was a constant flux of luxury and I was abandoned from it. I became the coyote on the street of survival where anything that might ascend to a crescendo of creative luxury was sacrificed to those things needed as food, water, and a place to live.
The white bird of inspiration lit up the sky.
I asked Coyote, “What joy, inspiration and spirituality…shall I ascend with the bird?”
This is when I saw Coyote jump up and kill the bright bird. She dragged it back to her home in the tree. A large sideways hollow tree trunk where her babes awaited their food.
“Oh, I see you are a mother in need of food.”
“Yes, I am sorry to shock you but sometimes the luxury of our inspirations must be sacrificed for those we love or care for. We must balance sacredness with irrelevance. ”
At times like these there is no time for the luxury of an extra piece of cake or the luxury of self-pity because we simply blend into the fabric of life as responsibility. This is doing what we must to survive.
After years of creative abandonment, a bright bird has come to sit on my shoulder now: to stay and live! This luxury or creativity is abundantly ascending. I move with the crescendo and I eat my cake and cry my tears of self-pity. These are the mediums and luxuries of my life that I will never ever, no way, give up again!!!!!
“Sit with us around the fire tonight dear sister. Let us throw our worries and fears into the flame and watch them burn.”
“Bear, I always look forward to your inward pull and the call of your cold nights.”
Bear replied,” Autumn’s creativity is a luxury but we must earn it, and fight for it, and when we least expect it… it is freely given.”