Tag Archives: human destiny

16 and I innocently walked home

Sweet sixteen not my theme: Reflections on a 1920s serial killer.

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Disillusionment started around this time in my life. 16!

What inspired me were the mysteries of life. The dark places of life. I kept it to myself. I was young and wordless, quiet and impressionable. Times were dull and I was asleep to the world around me.  I did not study or read much. I innocently walked home on my own from school. I had my close friends and life was easy. I had a boyfriend who watched over me. I thought he loved me. Well, he enjoyed my body.

Last night I watched a documentary on Carl Panzram. He is a serial killer. He wrote his memoir in prison and when I compare my life growing up to his, I become sick. He went to reform school and prison at a very young age. He was a cowboy-hobo. He did not live a glorious life. His was not an easy life. Mine was.

I am sure I went through the normal psychological changes of a youth becoming an adult. I was reasonably safe and made the transition through a few years, or a generation of the 50s through the 80s.

Carl Panzram was not so fortunate.  He grew up in a different generation during the Great Depression. Yet his youthful rebellion as a boy pushed him into being brutalized by a system that creates killers.

I am not justifying the unspeakable acts he did as an adult; I am comparing my life to his. Maybe to my own two boys who I protect like a mama bear hawk. Some sort of paranoid mythological female mother figure. They are very fortunate indeed!!

Serial killers, gangsters and the cruelty they inflict on society is terrible. I am not afraid to look at them. I wish I could change how this shadowy part of our human nature manifests in our society. Sometimes at night I find it hard to breathe when I think of how many people are locked up, especially our youth.

One cannot fight the shadow with more shadow because it only makes a bigger shadow.

If I could go back to being sixteen  I would inspire myself to wake up!  I would study and apply myself to life. I would learn, learn, learn !

I would take back my body and go to college at a young age. I would study criminology, psychology and get my degrees. I have my regrets and so did Carl Panzram!!

Our penal system is wrong. I would try to change it from the inside out starting with our youth!!

I know that Carl Panzram made the same analogy in his memoir. Carl had the remarkable ability to reflect. A friendly prison guard inspired him to write his memoir. This guard was a rare bird because he treated criminals as human beings. Carl’s revealing memoir is one to ponder; a remarkable confession from a very angry soul.

“I don’t believe in man, God nor Devil. I hate the whole damned human race, including myself. I preyed upon the weak, the harmless and the unsuspecting. This lesson I was taught by others : Might makes right.”
― Carl Panzram

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0113542/

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2014/01/20/daily-prompt-sixteen/#like-67108

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Hubba-hubba

 ssToday was the day of the word hub. I define hub as a center of activity or interest; a focal point. Last night is when the word really started. A friend showed us a picture of the hub where he works. He used the word hub. I was interested in the word instantly. I have not heard it for some time but there was a little excitement in the word as he said it.

Anyway the word hub made an impression on me.

Today the word came up many times while I was reading. I will focus on three of the most interesting places the word hub emerged into my consciousness.  We call them aha moments.

I was sitting on a chair at the local Jr. College waiting for my son’s class to end. Enjoying the time near a tree I was studying my book  Jung, Synchronicity, and Human Destiny by IRA Progoff. I was intensely focused when that word popped up. I thought that was an odd word for this writer to use, this book having a copyright from Delta Books 1973.

The specific role of the archetypes in synchronistic phenomena seems to be to serve as the constellating hub of a situation across time, and to be the factor of inner orderedness that gives the distinctive set to the situation. ~ Pg. 135

Later in the day it was rather off time to be reading the Los Angeles Times but the day was running slow. My kids were playing games and Mr. Husband was hogging the computer so I turned to some news for no reason.  I read an article about the unveiling of the new park Grand Park of L.A.

To city leaders Grand Park provides this new community with much-needed open space, a respite from the grid of city life as well as a hub for community events.

Front Page Los Angeles Times, Grand Green Dream, Paragraph four.

Then believe it or not about three hours later I almost tossed the paper in the trash when by chance while separating the advertisements from the rest of the paper the LATEXTRA fell down on the couch. This tends to be my favorite part of the paper so I sat down to read it. I was totally amused when I caught sight of the article on page AA 3, Condom Measure Put On Ballot. I had to laugh when I read what Supervisor Gloria Molina said on the subject of condoms and pornography which was next to the last paragraph of this article,

It doesn’t apply to the San Fernando Valley, which I understand is the hub of where these films are made

 

I am now taking a breath and realizing that within the hub of understanding this word hub  I was in fact in the process of a synchronistic phenomena experiencing a hub of a word across time..

Seriously how wild is that?

(August 19th 2012… my sister told me that our Grandmother on the paternal side use to hold  her arms and hands up in the air and say “Hubba-Hubba”… and so this synchronistic phenomena has its charm )