The Gift of Magic

No one can really possess a symbolic object since the prime function of symbolism is not accumulation and retention, but communication by way of exchange.

~ de Riencourt, Amaury. Woman and Power in History .

~ Honeyglen Publishing Limited. Kindle Edition.

A reading and understanding from both of Carl Jung’s Red and Black Books…

A journey after reading a random pick from Jung’s Black Books. During these disturbing times I often seek council with these living books of wonder.

While reaching from Jung’s Red Book a note fell to the ground and it said,

“The Gift of Magic.”

I was following through with Jung’s commentary after reading his Black Book. I was amazed by the depth of the commentary which is about Magic.

I am surprised by the beauty of these living books. I started to read all the commentary pertaining to this random subject in his Red Book. It is a story which answered many things for me while also somehow including my life. Reading the references and commentary is the best.

Jung Black Books: Random pick of paragraph from [v.4]

S. Are you sending me away?

I. I’m sending you away. You must not be far from me. But give to me out of your fullness, not your longing.

I cannot satisfy your poverty just as you cannot still my longing. If your harvest is rich, send me some fruit from your garden. If you suffer from abundance, I will drink from the brimming horn of your joy.

I know that will be a balm for me. I can satisfy myself only at the table of the satisfied, not the meager crumbs of those who yearn and desire. I will not steal my payment.

– Pg. 253 [v.4] (126/127).

126. The subject of this sentence was replaced by “We fetched.” (ibid)

127. For Jung’s commentary on this entry, see LN {Red Book},

pg. 439-40.

Red Book.

“Well, all you will do is laugh anyway. So why should I tell you anything? It would be if everything were buried with me. It can always be rediscovered later. It will never be lost to humanity since magic is reborn with each and every one of us.”

– Pg. 313

“You know, the wisdom of things to come; there fore you are old, oh so very ancient, and just as you tower above me in years, so you tower above the present in futurity and the length of your past is immeasurable. You are legendary and unreachable. You were and will be, returning periodically.

Your wisdom is invisible, your truth is unknowable, entirely untrue in any given age and yet true in all eternity, but you pour out living waters from which the flowers of your garden bloom, a starry water, a dew of the night.

– 148/149 pg. 316

“What do you need. You need men for the sake of small things, since everything greater and the greatest thing is in you. Christ spoiled men, since he taught them that they can be saved only by one, named him, the Son of God, and ever since men have been demanding the greater things from others, especially their salvation; and if a sheep gets lost somewhere, it accuses the shepherd. You are a man, and you prove that men are not sheep, since you look after the greatest in yourself and hence fructifying water-flows into you garden from inexhaustibly jugs.”

Anima and animus

I am always mindful of this equation within myself. Since often the anima and animus are interchangeable within a man or woman. Jung is a man and I am a woman… this activity of randomness is part of my animus work. This is how I collaborate with the male within me… and by the merging of opposites, as the male in me with the female that I am.

I will continue to study this yet this is enough for now.

Chris Bailey’s psychic being is still very strong

Nov 29, 1956 to April 9, 2022.

“A gentleman with the mad soul of an Irish convict poet’: remembering Chris Bailey, and the blazing comet that was The Saints.”

~John Willsteed

“the world beyond, where men are whole and complete, unlike here. The saint’s halo also characterizes his transcendent shining light, his psychic being.”

Rendering of the band The Saints. Hudley Flipside, 2010.

Happy I bought tickets to see the reformed Saitns this November in Southern California. Autumn 2025.

The author reflects on their deep connection to the band The Saints, particularly after the death of Chris Bailey.

Hudley expresses grief for both Bailey and the passage of time over the decades.

The band has been a part of her life journey, leading to discovering a sense of belonging among misfits and a punk community.

Hudley connects her experiences with Bailey’s life timeline, moving from youth to adulthood.

In her grief, she turns to the works of Carl Jung for solace, recalling insights from The Black Books.

I call it random reading. I read from the last paragraph, allowing my mind to wander freely within the words. The intuitive response is amazing to me, as each reading seems to unearth memories and thoughts I had long buried.

Encouraging action also flows from this process, inspiring me to take bold steps forward. So, with this so much is shared, whether it’s with friends or in solitude, and I am content to move on past my grief, cherishing the lessons learned along the way.

Into a new season of life, knowing that, life endures and blossoms in unexpected ways… this gives me hope like finding the Sun, illuminating the path ahead and igniting a renewed sense of purpose within me!

“In this moment the enormous tension was released and like rain it swept away [57/58] everything that was tensed, too highly strung. And soon sleep returned and brought with it a curiously beautiful image.” {138}

(p.162) The Black Books, Volume Two, Carl Jung

“Forms walked clad in white silk in a colored atmosphere. Each surrounded by a strangely fragrant, glowing tinted aura, some reddish, the others blueish and greenish.” {139}

{138} “This paragraph was replaced in LN by “Then I had a second vision.”

Picture.. reversed. Picture by Judi Dransfield Kuepper.

Chris Bailey “a curiously beautiful image”

The Saints (Barry Francis, Ivor Hay, Janine Hall, Bruce Callaway, Chris Bailey) at The Hero of Waterloo, Sydney. 1980. Picture by Judi Dransfield Kuepper. Image taken from an article by John Willsteed. Link Below.

https://theconversation.com/a-gentleman-with-the-mad-soul-of-an-irish-convict-poet-remembering-chris-bailey-and-the-blazing-comet-that-was-the-saints-181059?fbclid=IwAR3o-g8RRKpyNxgIQ6x7QsihP9fTBaDqaBZhzozuQI0oHlaWVenjLWeZ_F8

“Jung recounted this dream to Aniela Jaffé and commented upon it as follow: This is some kind of in-between realm (the term definitely occurs in the original version of the dream) The idea was that if one is confronted with the shadow- as was the case through the experience of Siegfried’s dream then the idea comes:

I enter into a twilight: I am this and yet also something else. And this doubleness an abdication of the unconscious, which reached strangely far beyond me.

Like a saint’s halo- This has a strange effect on the attitude toward the human being.

If one is in the company of several persons, and one knows them and knows about their shadows, one then sees these people as they are, but are also something entirely different. They are surrounded by a strange sphere.

They live in a strange, light-colored sphere, which circumscribes their ‘other’ state. This seemed to me to be like a vision of the world beyond, where men are whole and complete, unlike here. The saint’s halo also characterizes his transcendent shining light, his psychic being.”

{139} (MP, p. 170)

The reminder of this entry was replaced in LN by “I know, I have stridden across the depths. Through guilt I have become newborn.” (p.162) Carl Jung’s Black Books. Volume two page 175-6.

Siegfried’s dream http://mlwi.magix.net/siegfried.htm https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Books_(Jung)

The Forgotten Room

Astrology & Psychotherapy. Both can be part of our active imagination!

“Get in there, kid and snap them“

This is a sincere response to a post that I put up on an Astrologer’s Facebook site. No reprise from him and then he deleted my post response. Hurt, because I share the pivotal moments or the beginnings of this subject.

Is it because I wrote about other books besides the ones which this astrologer was promoting… who knows? I thought it was worth documenting.

https://www.forrestastrology.com/blogs/astrology/astrology-and-psychotherapy

It does not take an expert astrologer or Jungian therapist to understand the profoundly deep connection between astrology and psychology. I am an artist, mystic and layperson on the subject.

As once a probationer and member of the Oceanside California Rosicrucian Fellowship I studied Max Heindel’s book “Message of the Stars.” I also have read and reflected on Carl Jung’s books. “Red Book: Liber Novus” and his recently published “Black Books” are on my bookshelves.

I cannot express the full influence which both Max and Jung’s books have had on me. Both being a part of my life for over 30 years. I made the connection within myself. Yes before Liz’s well researched and authored book.

It is quite remarkable.

Recently through a friend I found out about Liz Green’s book “Jung’s Studies in Astrology” and was amazed to find out that Jung wrote into the very same Oceanside California based Rosicrucian Fellowship in his pursuit of understanding astrology.

The Black Book 5, Carl Jung, 1913 – 1932, Copyright October 2020

It was part of his process in creating the Liber Novus. The Rosicrucian Fellowship has a correspondence course in Astrology. Close to over one hundred years now. Yes, the fellowship still offers the same astrology course.

Historically, it is amazing that Jung wrote into the Fellowship. It is a fact-based story. It is quite overwhelming to me. I somehow knew the connection personally. All facts now presented in Liz’s book. I have posted about this before too. It is important to me.

I enjoy your insight and I agree with you in your professionally written Astrology and Psychotherapy article. I have experienced it firsthand for years. Thank you for sharing.

I use astrology in a creative way. I take Jung’s concept of “Active Imagination” to engage in a relationship with the planets of astrology of our solar system and beyond. Just one reason I know it is an exceptionally good connection to have.

Thank You

Lyrics

It’s so obvious, it’s here, it’s there
It’s not just the color, it must be more
At least 17 plus 3 score, this is 77
Nearly heaven, it’s black, white and pink

Just think, there’s more to come
Hum hum hum hum, it’s so obvious

Well it’s alright, listen, can’t wait for 78
God, those RPM, can’t wait for them
Don’t just watch, hours happen
Get in there, kid and snap them

Found some quicksilver…

Stumbling along today I found some quicksilver. A little Jung and a little Hillman and a little alchemical reaction….

The Book of Cratès

http://www.alchemywebsite.com/hrs13.html

A feminine soul to be precise

3/10/2023

I have taken my pearl watercolor and moved the painting into the living room near to the right of my hearth. Today I was reading some interesting words that brought to life this image. It is amazing to me that sometimes one is inspired to create an image from a narrative and finds this image in another narrative. They built upon each other bringing both narratives together with even greater meaning because both are weaving together. Forming an alchemical experience in me. As well as all of us… a path to peace maybe?

‘This is a more ambiguous but possibly more productive way of looking at matter and may be applied to Taurus and the second house. Following this thread is unquestionably like plunging into a labyrinth for what eventually emerges is that the second house has nothing to do with objects at all. The “pearl of great price” appears to lie at the heart of the labyrinth, but the persistence of a Taurean is required to reach it. The placement to find this central and unalterable value whose definition cannot be properly articulated but whose reality, to the man who has subjectively experienced it, is not to be questioned.’

Pg. 40 – 41. Saturn A New Look at an Old Devil / Liz Green.

The Pearl by Hudley

Original post.

Now having passed over this lake in this way, we first went through a narrow arm, into the right seas, where all the sirens, nymphs, and sea-goddesses were waiting for us; wherefore they immediately dispatched a sea nymph to us to deliver their present and offering of honor to the Wedding. It was a costly, great, set, round and oriental pearl, the like of which has never been seen, neither in our world nor yet in the new world.

~ Pg. 62 The Fifth Day the Chemical Wedding of Christian Rosenkreutz

A watercolor inspired by a strange story. Haunting me in a symbolic world. As a woman I tend to go wandering for things to help my psyche. A feminine soul to be precise. So often in this world today everything is based on the male soul or male journey.

Even in my beloved Red Book by Carl Jung I always remember to participate as a stranger in his world; it is a journey of a male. I must hold the hand of my own animus too when I take these symbolic journeys. I feel it is important for women to know this and do this.

“Animus is the archetype of reason and spirit in women. This is the male aspect of the female psyche, as the anima is the female aspect of male psyche.”

While reading from The Red Book a few days ago I came across the Imitation of Christ by Thomas à Kempis. I know the book and have studied it. Yes, I understand what Jung is saying but it does not appeal to my sensibility. So, I went looking, is there an Imitation of the Goddess?

I have come to see that the journey of Christ is a patriarchal one. I respect this yet have reached a point where I must refrain from this. What came to my mind today is this small watercolor I did years ago. The Chemical Wedding of Christian Rosenkreutz has a wonderful image that I grasped and is very friendly to my female sensibility,

“where all the sirens, nymphs, and sea-goddesses were waiting for us.”

Which is why I often capture art before I fully understand its meaning. Today I do. I hope I can inspire other females to take such a journey like mine and help their psyches!

A feminine soul to be precise. I know this story holds both something for animus and anima. It indeed symbolically speaks of a wedding or bringing together of both the animus and anima within each of us. It is bringing together opposites.

The Chemical Wedding of Christian Rosenkreutz begins with a lovely image. A star above two figures; a male ~ the sun and a female ~ the moon. This may be uniting both together with the bird of peace, the place where one may find the Holy Grail.

I believe it to be found within our individual hearts. It is another lovely image to ponder.

Coniunctio

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is cwcr.png

Reflection/ Notes

Jung’s alchemical studies were derived, in part, from the works of Gerhard Dorn, a 16^th-century alchemist. In “The Conjunction,” Jung Wrote, “Dorn’s caelum, which corresponds to the stone, was on the one hand a liquid (blue) that could be poured out of a bottle and on the other the Microcosm itself.

For the psychologist it is the self-man as he is, and the indescribable and superempirical totality of the same man.” (CW 14:765) In Jung’s same essay published in Mysterium Coniunctionis, Jung describes caelum as a heavenly substance containing all distinct forms and simultaneously the ultimate universal form; it symbolized a prefiguration of the soul. Jung also associated caelum with the blue center of Eastern mandalas. (CW 14:757)

The caelum and its function in alchemy, as inviting as they are, provide an avenue for further study. Jung further contended in the same essay, “Man himself is partly empirical, partly transcendental; he too is a (stone that is no stone). A “stone that is not stone” reflects Jung’s earlier experience with active imagination (also called trancing), where he (Jung) is sitting on me (stone).

From this perspective the pearl held within the black stone as the archetypal equivalent of a “stone that is not stone.” The human parallel implies that consciousness lies within the human body and that ‘the human heart is more than a blood pump.’ Like the pearl encased in stone, the heart is at the center of consciousness, which emanates from the divine.

~ Unveiling Sophia/ Heart Wisdom In An Age Of Technology by Anne Elizabeth Taylor

Comrades who whisper from the dead. Tall Drinks!!

Holly ready to send her laser… by Shyane

Part one:

Reading a few introductory books before entering The Red Book by CG Jung is a wise thing for me to do. Current historians and psychologists with a depth psychology twist are a nice tall drink. Understanding that Jung had a hard time deciding, in his life, whether to publish the book or not makes me feel as if I am violating his soul in reading it at all….after his death too. Whispering in my ear my entire quasi adult life makes me feel differently about this.

Reading these pre books I am affirmed in my conclusion. That he wrote the book for others as well as for himself.

Jung even encouraged his patients and friends to make a Red Book of their own. Comrades who whisper from the dead. Alchemy personified…but why me, why know and why share? This is a personal insight form a lay person that just happens to have a soul like everyone else… even those with PHDs! As an artist, with insight, I can try to write!

This complements this journey before I enter his world…personal yes but collectively through our mutual histories; past, present and future dreams. I wonder if the computer and blogging were around, in Jung’s time, if he too would use it freely to creatively express himself. I think he would have loved to. How brave we have become in sharing who we are!!
Just as I know there is evil in the world I know there is also goodness.

I have witnesses both, experienced both and been both-and I will continue- yet one thing I have not altered is my innocence. Maybe this is the reason for suffering and sorrow. I think I need to blend a little of the two, evil and goodness, within my cauldron. Stirring it and truly becoming a real adult in the real world. Speaking symbols and watering my essence of insight. You can take it or leave it.

“The Sun its shadow complete the work.”
~ Michael Maier Atlanta Fugiens-279 Book Jungian Psychoanalysis.

When posting on Facebook or WordPress I find that the best responses received by others are the authentic ones I post. All the news, politics and other things just don’t get the same input. Ok maybe the punk rock stuff gives me an edged kick but I was very innocent and rebelliously aesthetic back in the 1980s!!

It is uncomfortable for me to share who I am now, yet when I post my mug, something I created, or some personal insight; I usually get a satisfactory response. Even if it is quick and intuitively posted?? I think we are all looking for authenticity in our lives. Communication!!

As Jim Morrison from the Doors said, “Something Sacred.”

When we see it in another we feel it, we know it. This is the best of human communications. Though it may be rough, vague and juicy… it is what we need. We may even crave it. Collectively and/or as an individual. The mind, heart and soul is part of this equation. It is art, magic and touches those hidden places in us.

It can fall into the formation of math and logic. As effervescent sparks of knowledge. It moves through pain and pleasure as emotional release. It jumps and dances with “look at me” and “I see you.” It is normal, natural but hidden sometimes within the shadow of our sun. We have to go looking for it. It is when we share our authentic self or our aesthetic self… we all respond to it.

Pre books: Lament of The Dead Psychology after Jung’s Red Book ~ James Hillman & Sonu Shamdasani,/ The Red Book Liber Novus A readers Edition CG Jung Edited with an Introduction by Sonu Shamdasani./ The Seven Sermons to the Dead.

Attribution to the Dead and their whispers of life !

Hudley color sketch of flowers — Hudley Art

Having a romp with your man the night before, and driving on a foggy morning the next day while listening to Jazz; takes orgasm to a whole new level!!

Time can be very strategic!! Life more precious as loved ones fade into the dark unknown. Courting the underworld and also that dark place of the analytical mind, I have found insight into something more. This time of the year screams this depth, scratching at my emotions while confronting me with nothing, a non-caring pain. This time of the year as dusk approaches even the smile of my child, the purring of cats seem to fade into a realm existential of the unreal and profound.

I am about to read The Seven Sermons to the Dead by Carl Jung~ attribution to Basilides. I have prepared for my journey for months with complementary books. I recently received The Red Book as a gift and this will add to my reflective study.

The Apostle said, ‘I lived without a law once,’ that is, before I came into this body, I lived in such a form of body as was not under a law, that of a beast namely, or a bird.^[15]

My parents never really looked at death though they are now dead. My best and longest time friend… she too is gone from this life. So as I start this reading I hope to reflect as sermons to them as well !!
The day I began this journey of The Seven Sermons I sat at the pool side where son was swimming with his swim team. Two trees about twelve feet tall were before me. I sat comfortably.

The noises were overwhelming. Children crying and water splashing as women next to me talked about their problems. I then looked at the two trees. On every branch was a small bird; golden and chirping. Singing together and jumping. Everything else faded away but what I was viewing. I thought to myself,
“How can this be?”
One bird jumped down dancing towards me. Slowly, systematically and very consciously the bird came close to my foot and then turned around back up the tree. I then looked down for a second, thinking to take a picture. When I looked back the trees were empty.
I thought,
“How did so many birds fly away without a movement or sound?”
I now ask a question,
“How can so many die without a movement or sound’?”

Punk Rock Humor and the girly girls…

Punk Rock Historian & Colleague and Professional Consultant

Hudley Flipside

“And I asked myself about the present: how wide it was, how deep it was, how much was mine to keep.”
― Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse-Five

Today is a day of going back and falling into another time of my life. It happens a lot at the age of 56. I was thinking about older age and youth. I have much more experience at being young then being older. Each day I wonder about what to do next.

With all the experience I have this is amazing to me. I can open the many doors from my past and jump in. I get pulled in like gravity too. I am closer to the stillness of my center now. As in a maṇḍala, which is basically a round image with the center within. Me.

Time seems slow and reflective. I don’t feel the need to grasp the ring from the merry-go-round. I feel like I am in Slaughterhouse-Five, or The Children’s Crusade: A Duty-Dance with Death (1969). Like Billy Pilgrim I am in a place where I time travel back and forth.

Though my Tralfamadorians are silent and the only time I have a view of the future is by insight or in some vague dream. My punk rock life is on the same track.

Diving into each back issue of Los Angeles Flipside Fanzine brings up memories and I find that I need to share these images with others.

A affirmation of reality and fun.

The picture below is of Dee and Hilda who are on either side of a police officer in China Town at the Hong Kong Café. Lower right girl looking straight on is me.

I think it is Punk Rock humor about Los Angeles Coppers.

“Like so many Americans, she was trying to construct a life that made sense from things she found in gift shops.”

― Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse-Five

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Hong-Kong-Cafe-China-Town-Los-Angeles/85219892243

Living Dead Hands

I am still riding the wave of the flu. Today I am drinking some Burgundy wine in a small crystal glass. The warmth of the drink warms me along with the fire in the fireplace. Even though a son follows me around the house and laughs as he touches my arm with his cold “living dead hands”… we laugh and I have time to write the daily WordPress prompt.

When I reflect and look over the vast amount of ways to learn I focus on individuals more than an educational system. The people I respect and learn from are those that learn by their own means. I often reflect on the MASTERS OF HUMAN LIFE… William Blake, Thomas Paine and Carl Jung.

Though Carl Jung had a vast and strong academic education he also had a separate very independent education going on at the same time.

“Reading and reflecting” is what suits me best because social stimuli and peer pressure both turn me off. I read books by many different authors on many different subjects. I like it this way best because I can set my own inward goals. I am not studying to be a doctor, nurse or accountant or engineer. I am a philosopher.

My chosen field is love, I am a philosopher of love.

I have been through university study and I learned a great deal. I find that politics get involved as one climbs higher in the education system.

Child’s play. I guess one has to really desire it. If the love of your chosen field is a love that is worth the sacrifices ; such as your identity. At times it is… but for me it is not a valid argument anymore. I say no,

The greatest reward is to study on ones own and come to knowledge on your own terms. A good grade, an acknowledged pat on the back from a friend is just not the same. I never feel alone while reading a book, researching a subject, listening to music or when writing… but I often feel alone and frustrated around people because they are awkward at loving what they say they love and are so darn weird.

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/12/08/learning-style/

Carl Jung Quote from his book Memories, Dreams, Reflections

An ethical obligation: To the female journey and her male partner / animus.

While riding the trail of my thoughts and goals I came upon a post that says that “blogging is a waste of time.” I do not agree with this point of view. Which takes me back to my obligation. Also, I get pulled into reconsidering my work as a writer.

Do I write for free, or do I write to help and join in? I want to write with value, integrity, and financial gain. I like getting paid for my work. So, this year I will decline writing for free for others. I do still do things for some special friends.

Yet here I write to promote and express my dreams on my blog. I may find ways to author my own books on subjects from the past, present or future, but not for free anymore.

I am not asking for freelance pay as so much per word but something that makes me feel valued and appreciated for my expertise and experience. It is a kaleidoscope of wheeling and dealing

Thanks

“… to do something for its own sake and not for the sake of another human being – runs counter to feminine nature and often can be achieved only with effort.”

~Emma Jung on the Animus

I often wonder why I write and create at all: for whom and why? I struggle with this. As I am sure all individuals who create do. I mean who cares?

I love Carl Jung because he supports the individual’s pursuit in becoming aware and becoming whole. He does this for each individual his magic touches.

He gave meaning out of the chaos of my life and put me on the right path; towards the light.

The quote below wakes me to my responsibility to my ethical obligation.

I see him as an elder or father. For years now his books have been on my shelves waiting for me to hold them and reflect on the words of a wise friend and counselor.

“That is what we usually neglect to do. We allow the images to rise up and maybe we wonder about them, but that is all. We do not take the trouble to understand them, let alone draw ethical conclusion from them.

This stopping-short conjures up the negative effects of the unconscious. It is equally a grave mistake to think that it is enough to gain some understanding of the images and that knowledge can here make a halt. Insight into them must be converted into an ethical obligation.

Not to do so is to fall prey to the power principle and this produces dangerous effects which are destructive not only to others but even to the knower.

These images of the unconscious place a great responsibility upon a man. Failure to understand them, or a shirking of ethical responsibility, deprives him of his wholeness and imposes a painful fragmentariness of his life.”

~ Carl Jung

They help me to understand…

The Crone Praying Mantis

I have never had a real person out-there mentor. My mentors have always been from books published by people long ago demised as William Blake or Carl Jung. When I read their work, it is not in a way as if to own it or to be an expert about their works. When I read their works, and see the images they have created, it is if they are here with me, beyond space and time showing me things.

They help me to affirm what I know and support my experiences. They are my mentors in this life. They show me the big picture and they teach me, they still do, about how to live in this world. They show me how to use my imagination and to share what I have created.

They help me understand power, strength, and insight. I have learned to love contradiction, humor, and metaphor. I have found bliss in creating mandalas, watercolors and grasping the hands of nature.
They guide me in confronting my fears and remind me that I am not alone in a complex world; Blake and Jung both reveal that uniqueness is a form of brilliance.

Also, we as humans shouldn’t strive for this without its complementary and sometimes contrary opposite, which is to learn to be alike and the same as the most common and mundane.

Jester editorial to the arrogant and decadent…by Flopside Comics

One does not need to agree with this editorial…

One day in my master course at Mount St. Mary’s College in Los Angeles, I was in a Spiritual Direction course. The issue of priests and sexual abuse came up as a subject in class. It was an uncomfortable subject for us. My follow students, and believers in the Catholic Church, were in a strange kind of denial. It is not my faith so I can see outside their control panel.

The course was taught by an old Nun. She seemed very with-it and up to date on matters? She was a Spiritual Directive director on campus. She is a type of meditation, psychology, and spirituality advisory person. The Nun-teacher said that these abuse cases would help the Church and make the Church more authentic. I said loudly and firmly in class,

“But sister, just one child abused is too much!”

“You have the right to your opinion…” is all she said back to me

.
My “inner guide” was a flame and I almost got up and slapped her in the face. This happened only a few months before the first announcements and lawsuits towards the Archdiocese of Los Angeles, which was around 2004.

Yes, while in this Masters programs, I poked my head deep into the very foundation, laws, history and strange ways of the Catholic Church. As a Jester of High degree I have to know who my enemy is.

So this Ash Wednesday I will sport a red ash on my brow and where a green glove on my right hand. To cherish life one does not rape children or mock the dead. I will take my glove off and slap the air from the arrogance and decadence of this holy day. From my inner place I will imagine that sister-nun-teacher…. because I will be slapping her face…again and again… and again…

Editorial ahony

The pearl of Christian Rosenkreuz

Hudley Watercolor

“… in white satin, she carried nothing but a small crucifix which was made of a pearl, and this very day wrought between the young King and his Bride. After…
…of honour to the Wedding. It was a costly, great, set, round and orient pearl, the like to which hath not at any time been seen, either in ours, or yet…”

The Alchemical Wedding of Christian Rosenkreuz

I have not forgotten about you

this small watercolor

is on the wall of the back bathroom

I see it everyday

and my heart thinks of you

and your esoteric lessons

Your legend and mystery

about the green earth

and the golden heavens…

The cross, roses and healing cycles.

They are mythologies and astronomy now

the real phases of the moon

feminine, real and physical.

Can you read my effluvia?

On this oracle

a new place of communications.

Yes the image of the pearl and her image

come to mind and are melted in by bones

as the essence of life reformed

and recycled again and again

the pearl and bones remain

as chips and fragments

floating in the blue-green sea

of the tides that breath

as the moon circles around her body.

Poem by Hudley 01/01/2013

Sushi turkey

Holly said to Bear,

“Did you ever notice when you close your eyes and look up at the sun that you can see a mandala? Red and orange colors flashing out in bursts of color. It reminds me of a Mosque. A vast ceiling in my eyes. This is what I am thankful for.”

The sushi restaurant was not open on Turkey Day. My son called earlier, and no one answered the phone so we thought we would drive by and just see,

“Maybe they will be open?”

We planned to do this a couple of weeks ago.

“Na, it is dark. No one is there.”

My son continued to drive on while we decided what else to do.

“Well, I cooked up a turkey breast, mashed potatoes, stuffing, and yummy pan gravy at home. How about just going back home?”

“How about Coco’s or Niko’s restaurant?”

“Ya lets go to Niko’s!”

Niko’s is a coffee shop that we have eaten at many times over the years. We know most of the workers there; it is down and homey to us.

On the way there I was having the holiday blues. It was nice to get out of the house for a drive.

The streets were easy except for one slicer, which is a car that races in and out of the other cars without signaling.

I looked up and over and saw a bus with only one passenger at a bus-stop getting out.

“Hey, look at that guy on the bus all alone.”

“Don’t forget the bus driver!”

“Ya…, I see him too.”

Kentucky Chicken’s was open on Topanga Blvd. with a few people eating there. I also saw a few older people walking the streets. I felt a lonely freedom in my heart.

We drove past Coco’s, and it looked open and packed.

“Should we stop?”

“No let’s go to Niko’s.”

We drove up, parked, and walked up to the restaurant. I saw the host getting menus ready for us.

“Good evening.”

“Happy Thanksgiving,” we all said. Then we sat at a booth.

Our friend the waiter greeted us. We gave out smiles and said our greetings. We really like this guy because we have known him for years and he makes the best smoothies.

“I’ll have a third eye.”

“What is that?”

“It is mango, carrot and banana…”

We all gave the drink a try, and then the youngest son said,

“That is what I love about Niko’s they make the best smoothies and they put all sorts of things in them that I would never eat. They make it taste so good.”

I smiled at my son as I ordered the chief’s salad. He ordered a Monte Cristo sandwich. He powered down his hot coco already. I knew this meant trouble due to lactose intolerance, but hey it is Thanksgiving. My oldest son got his usual gyro sandwich.

We talked about friends, astronomy, and family. I left as the oldest son began to finish the youngster’s sandwich off.

“Sometimes you just got to let it go.”

“Why? I am hungry and it is Thanksgiving…everyone eats too much on thanksgiving.”

Frank Cotton: “demons to some… …angels to others”

The Cenobites are awesome and scary.

Their directive is simple and the same as the plot of the film which is to bring pleasure or pain. Frank wants both. He gets his pain and pleasure.

His desire and dark passion are truly clear.

The Cenobites are cold and as calculating as surgeons.

They hear the call to serve without emotion or desire and abide by a law foreign to their viewers.

“Jesus Wept” ~ Frank Cotton

“Where love rules, there is no will to power; and where power predominates, there love is lacking. The one is the shadow of the other.”~ Carl Gustav Jung

Happy Halloween: An essay using the Third person.

“Frank Cotton: I thought I’d gone to the limits. I hadn’t. The Cenobites gave me an experience beyond limits… pain and pleasure, indivisible.”

Hellraiser – 1987

Halloween time is mystical lights, shadow and darkness which now play with humanity. Death, pain and fear are presented now before us as our shadow.

The film Hellraiser brings this all to an audience. Yes, Halloween time is “Hellraiser” time. Cable, Netflix, or old TV re-runs. Clive Barker’s creation is a thrill to a generation of horror dorks. He creates a box that opens the world to hell. The Cenobites don’t see it this way.

Pinhead defines the Cenobites as, “demons to some… …angels to others.”

The film begins with the statement, “What is your pleasure?” It pivots on Julia Cotton’s desire to be with her brother-in-law. It is because of her that Frank Cotton is resurrected, and the Cenobites are called back through a magical box.

Kristy Cotton is the heroine of this film. She hates her mother-in-law who desires her uncle Frank. He abused Kristy and so she summons the Cenobites to tear Frank’s soul back apart. Julia is killed by Frank.

This film is about blood, gore, and dead people. It was released in 1987 and is the building block for the over-saturated horror films of our current generation. More influential than Texas Chainsaw Massacre or Suspiria.

Hellraiser’s plot is about desire gone bad; so, people die and suffer because of this. This is due to the desire of one woman’s memory of a clandestine affair.

Dark feelings and unbelievable gory impressions dance throughout this film, and this is what haunts us. Julia and Kristy are in opposition to each other.

The cold shy personality of Julia is evident. Her conservative sexuality is ready to burst forth.

All the characters in the film notice this about her, even her husband is on a tight leash.

Kristy has a different projection. She looks androgynous and glows with a superimposed image of both Jesus & Krishna.

Angry Angry woman

Angry Woman Flopside Comics...Hudley Fipside

While driving my long drive home home I noticed a sign outlined in bold red,

“Reiki treatment for shyness.”

I hate this. Sometimes Wellness clinics go too far. I don’t see anything unhealthy with being shy. As though it is an illness to be healed. This in-your-face culture is what we have become and it gets me down. To many reality shows galore to bore bore us. Why should we all be confident, outspoken and extroverted? This sounds like death death to me and it gives me a headache too.

Today at Trader Joe’s I went to get some free yummy coffee coffee. I noticed the pot was bubbling and empty. I said to the mature lady behind the counter,

“Hey, The coffee cow is empty.”

Saying this directly and softly to her as she avoided my face.

She must have heard me because she quickly replaced it with a new full pot of hot hot coffee. Talking the whole time with a group of mature women. I was not included in the conversation. I felt it. I became a shadow shadow that bothered them for a short time. Was it because I was too young, or was it my tattoos, or maybe the pimple on my chin?

No that was not it. It is because these ladies had the talk down. That talk talk that is so peer peer la de da older women talk. They talk low and from their deep voice. Vacuum intense where the whole world is just focused in on them them. In this maze of healthy shopping charts. I am not part of their hub hub.

Professors and older christian missionaries with PhD’s are like this too. I’ve been around them too much at the university university. They give their their lectures of the century. Their heads are so big big and what they are doing is so grand grand … they forget to take a break to breath and say,

“I am not God yet but I am gonna be.”

Man this makes me sick sick with fervor when I get around these types of women.

Being shy, lack of confidence and being an introvert is a normal part of life and I like it. I am so tired of hearing that it is strange, weird and stupid.

“Your son, he is so quiet?”

The nice lady teacher says to me, while the rest of the kids all bazooka out. Hey, you should be happy happy that a child is paying attention and is sensitive to their environment Mrs Teacher Teacher.

Being Shy and introverted is cool. It means one is respective. Being respective means being engaged with the world around you. The activity of the brain, heart and mind is an amazing quality to have… one is in tune like a tuning fork!

This is why we all love love beer, poetry, beautiful art, Carl Jung, surfers, punks, beatniks, Ross from GBH and James Dean. I include my two sons and myself in this gander of shyness.

We tend to stand obscurely behind the lines making faces at the loud important people who are so full of themselves they forget to squeeze out a fart fart.

So full of themselves that they can not even realize that there are others more intelligent than they are, and unlike them, have instead chosen not to brag about it.

Braggadocio braggadocio take a look at yourselfcio and get over yourself!

My animus animus !!

Weird Ass

Murcury And The Cardusus

My son and I read Brothers Grimm Fairy Tales together and they are weird ass. We love them and we think about them often. They are based on oral tradition and their roots are based on a time so long ago and yet we blend with them in that place of our imagination. This is why I like William Blake, Albert Einstein, and Nicola Tesla. They take different paths on religion-art, math, and science but what unites them throughout time is their great imagination.

They do something even more profound they also open a door into the imagination of nature. This is also the place of mythology and religion. I am not talking about anything literal as in the dogma of any religion, science, or math formula. My focus is on the weird ass part of all of these; as the funny, strange, and sometimes truthful fantasy that becomes known as theories for example like relativity. A modern combination of astrology and astronomy seems like a paradox but not in the imagination.

The lines between religion-art, math and science seems to be drawn now, but long ago as in fairy tales, never! We can also loosen up our minds now as well. Here we, as human beings, find a strange place in this mystery and it is a very weird ass place.

We go to the Griffith Observatory a lot. My husband and kids are into astronomy. I like it too, but I enjoy the myths that hide behind it, like the ancient stories, the oral traditions and the images that endure over time. Weird ass stories and theories about the universe itself. The only integrity is the sun, moon, planets and beyond. This observatory stands high on a hill just like some weird ass magical castle or Greek temple.

When you walk in its doors and look up you see religion-art, math, and science. It reminds me of a medieval church where bible stories are painted on the walls. Renowned artists, architects and masons were hired to build these stories in stone. People could not read the stories, so they learned by images and symbols. Is it any different today? But it is still very weird ass.

I used to be a member of the Rosicrucian Fellowship based in Oceanside California. There on the grounds is a healing temple. It looks a lot like the Griffith Observatory on the outside and very much the same on the inside. One looks up and sees an artist’s interpretation of the zodiac. The only difference is that the Observatory promotes science, and the healing temple promotes love, healing, and weird ass esoteric Christianity.

Both buildings were built around the same time. I am an oddball that uses my imagination too much. I do admit to listening to the whispers of those long ago, once upon a time, oral traditions too closely. I find that my imagination cannot tell the difference between the two. They both look-alike and teach religion-art, math, and science. Yes, the focus is different, but it is the same stuff.

After reading Brothers Grimm Fairy Tale before my son goes to bed, I often walk outside and look at the night sky. With all that we know about religion-art, math, and science. It is still very weird ass to me!!

Hubba-hubba

Today was the day of the word hub. I define hub as a center of activity or interest, a focal point. Last night is when the word really started. A friend showed us a picture of the hub where he works. He used the word hub. I was interested in the word instantly. I have not heard it for some time but there was a little excitement in the word as he said it.

Anyway, the word hub made an impression on me.

Today the word came up many times while I was reading. I will focus on three of the most interesting places the word hub emerged into my consciousness. We call them aha moments.

I was sitting on a chair at the local Jr. College waiting for my son’s class to end. Enjoying the time near a tree I was studying my book Jung, Synchronicity, and Human Destiny by IRA Progoff. I was intensely focused when that word popped up. I thought that was an odd word for this writer to use, this book having a copyright from Delta Books 1973.

“The specific role of the archetypes in synchronistic phenomena seems to be to serve as the constellating hub of a situation across time, and to be the factor of inner orderedness that gives the distinctive set to the situation.”~ Pg. 135

Later in the day it was rather off time to be reading the Los Angeles Times but the day was running slow. My kids were playing games and Mr. Husband was hogging the computer so I turned to some news for no reason. I read an article about the unveiling of the new park Grand Park of L.A.

To city leaders, Grand Park provides this new community with much-needed open space, a respite from the grid of city life as well as a hub for community events.

Front Page Los Angeles Times, Grand Green Dream, Paragraph four.

Then believe it or not about three hours later I almost tossed the paper in the trash when by chance while separating the advertisements from the rest of the paper the LA EXTRA fell down on the couch. This tends to be my favorite part of the paper, so I sat down to read it. I was totally amused when I caught sight of the article on page AA 3, Condom Measure Put on Ballot. I had to laugh when I read what Supervisor Gloria Molina said on the subject of condoms and pornography which was next to the last paragraph of this article,

“It doesn’t apply to the San Fernando Valley, which I understand is the hub of where these films are made.”

I am now taking a breath and realizing that within the hub of understanding this word hub I was in fact in the process of a synchronistic phenomenon experiencing a hub of a word across time.

Seriously how wild is that?

(August 19th 2012… my sister told me that our Grandmother on the paternal side use to hold her arms and hands up in the air and say “Hubba-Hubba”… and so this synchronistic phenomena has its charm )

Notes from the Book: Jung,

Notes from the Book: Jung, Synchronicity and Human Destiny~The Archetype of the Magical Effect

Reflective notes:

Archetype of the Magical Effect

Thus I have found the diamond within this book by Ira Progoff. Jung calls it the Archetype of the Magical Effect. To understand this concept one has to bring up the background of how it works. This is a beginning study of something that intuitively is part of us as human beings. Some are more awake to it than others. This is not a good or bad thing, a smarter or more gifted thing, or anything like that.

It is based on curiosity and the desire to focus on something that I find fascinating, and to explain feelings and ideals I could never quite grasp before.

I would like to start with what Carl Jung says about us as human beings. He says we have four levels.

1. Ego Consciousness which is at the surface.

2. The Personal unconscious which is just below this.

3. The Collective unconscious which extends for a great dept below this. It is called the transpersonal level.

4. The Base is called the Psychoid. This is the level that is the very realm of nature itself

Next is the idea of self. Jung calls this the self r and the self R.

The Self r is the ground of human reality. The basis for all the phenomenon that the sciences of man undertake to study.

The Self R is what ‘Leibniz’ called the pre-established harmony. The Tao. It is the encompassing unity in which and by means of which the macrocosm and the microcosm participate in each other and specifically by which the ultimate realities of the universe are expressed and reflected in the life of the human individual.” (pg 113) (Neoplatonism… maybe?)

Now with the above information one can grasp a better understanding of the archetype of the magical effect. Also one needs to understand numinoisty. I will call it a place of the supernatural. The below quote describes the archetype.

When a numinous event occurs, therefore, it draws a large concentration of psychic energy around it. This energy constellates around the archetype symbol that is active as the effective center of the experience. A complex, or cluster, of psychic contents is thus formed at this point. As the energies available to the psyche are drawn together in one part of the psyche, the other areas are left more or less depleted. (pg 109)

The blend is genius

In conclusion I find this a very fulfilling exercise in trying to understand this experience. Archetypes are numinous and correspond with nature, human beings and the universe. It is an all inclusive correspondence and we all have the ability to become aware of it and this helps me to understand better my place in the whole of the creative universe. It is empirical and far-reaching and magical. The blend is genius.!!

Quotes from @ Jung, Synchronicity and Human Destiny by IRA Progoff

Multiple-synchronicities

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The other night at the local Pub, Scotland Yard, my friend, an expert toxicologist, was talking about synchronicity. She seemed a bit frustrated about them. They were happening to her a lot and she did not know what to do about these experiences.

“What do they mean regarding to me?”

She affirmed many times that evening.

Telling me that many synchronicities happened to her in one day, one right after the other.

I spoke.

“You know you have heard about multiple orgasms? Well, when that many synchronicities happen in a few hours or minutes; I call them multiple synchronicities.”

The pub was loud, but she got the drift in what I was saying. These synchronicities are extraordinary experiences found in simple things around us that have symbolic meanings absolute to us personally. Now how can that be, that is just strange!

I was extremely interested in her conversation. I used to have a lot of such experiences. I was glad she brought it up, the subject, because I did not often talk to others about it. I found my answers in books. Carl Jung the Swiss psychologist and psychiatrist who founded analytical psychology; and the Medicine Wheel, based on the teachings of Native Americans, have both been major sources for me. They both teach us about synchronicity!

The medicine wheel looks at synchronicity as a coincidence. I was taught that coincidence has great meaning, and one should take notice of them. They are more than chance.

Jung refers to synchronicity as more than causality. Jung coined the term, and it was based on a visit he had with a scientific community.

Albert Einstein was in attendance, and he had an enormous influence on Jung. Jung seemed to need to incorporate this concept of synchronicity within the rationalist scientific community. The five senses are especially important yet there is another sense that needs to be included that was more than the usual idea of causality.

Recently I viewed the film, Forrest Gump. It took me many years to see the film. It was a highly published media movie. So, I tend to somehow reject this. Anyway, after seeing the film again I realized something. At the end of the film Forrest gives a wonderful definition of synchronicity.

“I don’t know if Mamma was right or if it’s Lieutenant Dan. I do not know if we each have a destiny, or if we are all just floating around accidentally-like on a breeze, but it is both. Maybe both are happening at the same time.”

The proof is found in an extraordinary way that the character of Forrest Gump lives his life. He lives a life of synchronicity.

To me the heart and the mind need to be at a place of balance and our insect antennae, like the intuitive praying mantis, need to be up and aware and open to a new type of living. Somehow this is when we are balancing experience with emotions and intellect. It is letting the feather blow around you and then grasping the notion that something special is being revealed just to you as an intuitive pat on the back.

This little essay is based on a night at the local pub that took place a few weeks ago thanks to a master toxicologist.

This entire process has led me back to Carl Jung and IRA Progoff and his book entitled Jung, Synchronicity, and Human Destiny. They have led me back to the I Ching. A book that gives one understanding based on ancient principles of synchronicity and Taoism.