…Now having passed over this lake in this way, we first went through a narrow arm, into the right seas, where all the sirens, nymphs, and sea-goddesses were waiting for us; wherefore they immediately dispatched a seanymph to us to deliver their present and offering of honour to the Wedding. It was a costly, great, set, round and oriental pearl, the like of which has never been seen, neither in our world nor yet in the new world,… Pg. 62 The Fifth Day The Chymical Wedding of Christian Rosenkreutz
Pearl watercolor by Hudley 7″ by 8″ water color. 2002
A water-color inspired by a strange story. Haunting me in a symbolic world. As a woman I tend to go wandering for things to help my psyche. A feminine soul to be precise. So often in this world today everything is based on the male soul or male journey. Even in my beloved Red Book by Carl Jung I always remember to participate as a stranger in his world; it is a journey of a male. I must hold the hand of my own animus too when I take these symbolic journeys. I feel it is important for women to know this and do this.
“Animus is the archetype of reason and spirit in women. This is the male aspect of the female psyche, as the anima is the female aspect of male psyche.”
While reading from The Red Book a few days ago I came across the Imitation of Christ by Thomas à Kempis. I know the book and have studied it. Yes I understand what Jung is saying but it does not appeal to my sensibility. So I went looking, is there an Imitation of the Goddess? I have come to see that the journey of Christ is a patriarchal one. I respect this yet have reached a point where I have to refrain from this. What came to my mind today is this small water-color I did years ago. The Chymical Wedding of Christian Rosenkreutz has a wonderful image that I grasped and is very friendly to my animus sensibility. “where all the sirens, nymphs, and sea-goddesses were waiting for us.” Which is why I often capture art before I fully understand its meaning. Today I do. I hope I can inspire another female to take such a journey like mine or that this image may help your psyche. A feminine soul to be precise. I know this story holds both something for the animus and anima. It indeed symbolically speaks of a wedding or bringing together of both the animus and anima within each of us. The Chymical Wedding of Christian Rosenkreutz begins with a lovely image and the star above the two, male and female, is a lovely image to ponder.
Reading a few introductory books before entering The Red Book by CG Jung is a wise thing for me to do. Current historians and psychologists with a depth psychology twist are a nice tall drink. Understanding that Jung had a hard time deciding, in his life, whether to publish the book or not makes me feel as if I am violating his soul in reading it at all….after his death too. Whispering in my ear my entire quasi adult life makes me feel differently about this. Reading these pre books I am affirmed in my conclusion. That he wrote the book for others as well as for himself. Jung even encouraged his patients and friends to make a Red Book of their own. Comrades who whisper from the dead. Alchemy personified…but why me, why know and why share? This is a personal insight form a lay person that just happens to have a soul like everyone else… even those with PHDs! As an artist, with insight, I can try to write! This complements this journey before I enter his world…personal yes but collectively through our mutual histories; past, present and future dreams. I wonder if the computer and blogging were around, in Jung’s time, if he too would use it freely to creatively express himself. I think he would have loved to. How brave we have become in sharing who we are!!
Just as I know there is evil in the world I know there is also goodness. I have witnesses both, experienced both and been both-and I will continue- yet one thing I have not altered is my innocence. Maybe this is the reason for suffering and sorrow. I think I need to blend a little of the two, evil and goodness, within my cauldron. Stirring it and truly becoming a real adult in the real world. Speaking symbols and watering my essence of insight. You can take it or leave it.
“The Sun its shadow complete the work.” ~ Michael Maier Atlanta Fugiens-279 Book Jungian Psychoanalysis.
When posting on Facebook or WordPress I find that the best responses received by others are the authentic ones I post. All the news, politics and other things just don’t get the same input. Ok maybe the punk rock stuff gives me an edged kick but I was very innocent and rebelliously aesthetic back in the 1980s!! It is uncomfortable for me to share who I am now, yet when I post my mug, something I created, or some personal insight; I usually get a satisfactory response. Even if it is quick and intuitively posted?? I think we are all looking for authenticity in our lives. Communication!!
As Jim Morrison from the Doors said, “Something Sacred.”
When we see it in another we feel it, we know it. This is the best of human communications. Though it may be rough, vague and juicy… it is what we need. We may even crave it. Collectively and/or as an individual. The mind, heart and soul is part of this equation. It is art, magic and touches those hidden places in us. It can fall into the formation of math and logic. As effervescent sparks of knowledge. It moves through pain and pleasure as emotional release. It jumps and dances with “look at me” and “I see you.” It is normal, natural but hidden sometimes within the shadow of our sun. We have to go looking for it. It is when we share our authentic self or our aesthetic self… we all respond to it.
Pre books: Lament of The Dead Psychology after Jung’s Red Book ~ James Hillman & Sonu Shamdasani,/ The Red Book Liber Novus A readers Edition CG Jung Edited with an Introduction by Sonu Shamdasani./ The Seven Sermons to the Dead.
Having a romp with your man the night before, and driving on a foggy morning the next day while listening to Jazz; takes orgasm to a whole new level!!
Time can be very strategic!! Life more precious as loved ones fade into the dark unknown. Courting the underworld and also that dark place of the analytical mind, I have found insight into something more. This time of the year screams this depth, scratching at my emotions while confronting me with nothing, a non-caring pain. This time of the year as dusk approaches even the smile of my child, the purring of cats seem to fade into a realm existential of the unreal and profound.
I am about to read The Seven Sermons to the Dead by Carl Jung~ attribution to Basilides. I have prepared for my journey for months with complementary books. I recently received The Red Book as a gift and this will add to my reflective study.
The Apostle said, ‘I lived without a law once,’ that is, before I came into this body, I lived in such a form of body as was not under a law, that of a beast namely, or a bird.
My parents never really looked at death though they are now dead. My best and longest time friend… she too is gone from this life. So as I start this reading I hope to reflect as sermons to them as well !!
The day I began this journey of The Seven Sermons I sat at the pool side where son was swimming with his swim team. Two trees about twelve feet tall were before me. I sat comfortably. The noises were overwhelming. Children crying and water splashing as women next to me talked about their problems. I then looked at the two trees. On every branch was a small bird; golden and chirping. Singing together and jumping. Everything else faded away but what I was viewing. I thought to myself,
“How can this be?”
One bird jumped down dancing towards me. Slowly, systematically and very consciously the bird came close to my foot and then turned around back up the tree. I then looked down for a second, thinking to take a picture. When I looked back the trees were empty.
“How did so many birds fly away without a movement or sound?”
I now ask a question,
“How can so many die without a movement or sound’?”
“And I asked myself about the present: how wide it was, how deep it was, how much was mine to keep.” ― Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse-Five
Today is a day of going back and falling into another time of my life. It happens a lot at the age of 56. I was thinking about older age and youth. I have much more experience at being young then being older. Each day I wonder about what to do next. With all the experience I have this is amazing to me. I can open the many doors from my past and jump in. I get pulled in like gravity too. I am closer to the stillness of my center now. As in a maṇḍala, which is basically a round image with the center within. Me.
Time seems slow and reflective. I don’t feel the need to grasp the ring from the merry-go-round. I feel like I am in Slaughterhouse-Five, or The Children’s Crusade: A Duty-Dance with Death (1969). Like Billy Pilgrim I am in a place where I time travel back and forth. Though my Tralfamadorians are silent and the only time I have a view of the future is by insight or in some vague dream.
My punk rock life is on the same track. Diving into each back issue of Flipside Fanzine brings up memories and I find that I need to share these images with others.
A affirmation of reality and fun.
Hong Kong Cafe China Town Los Angeles # 16 with Dee and Hilda. Hud on the lower right side looking on…fun times..
This picture is of Dee and Hilda who are on either side of a police officer in China Town at the Hong Kong Café. I think it is Punk Rock humor about Los Angeles Coppers.
(Note: To be included in those who worked on Flipside Fanzine Page)
I am still riding the wave of the flu. Today I am drinking some Burgundy wine in a small crystal glass. The warmth of the drink warms me along with the fire in the fireplace. Even though a son follows me around the house and laughs as he touches my arm with his cold “living dead hands”… we laugh and I have time to write the daily WordPress prompt.
When I reflect and look over the vast amount of ways to learn I focus on individuals more than an educational system. The people I respect and learn from are those that learn by their own means. I often reflect on the MASTERS OF HUMAN LIFE… William Blake, Thomas Paine and Carl Jung. Though Carl Jung had a vast and strong academic education he also had a separate very independent education going on at the same time. “Reading and reflecting” is what suits me best because social stimuli and peer pressure both turn me off. I read books by many different authors on many different subjects. I like it this way best because I can set my own inward goals. I am not studying to be a doctor, nurse or accountant or engineer. I am a philosopher. My chosen field is love, I am a philosopher of love.
I have been through university study and I learned a great deal. I find that politics get involved as one climbs higher in the education system. Childs play. I guess one has to really desire it. If the love of your chosen field is a love that is worth the sacrifices ; such as your identity. At times it is… but for me it is not a valid argument anymore. I say no,
The greatest reward is to study on ones own and come to knowledge on your own terms. A good grade, an acknowledged pat on the back from a friend is just not the same. I never feel alone while reading a book, researching a subject, listening to music or when writing… but I often feel alone and frustrated around people because they are awkward at loving what they say they love and are so darn weird.
“That is what we usually neglect to do. We allow the images to rise up and maybe we wonder about them, but that is all. We do not take the trouble to understand them, let alone draw ethical conclusion from them. This stopping-short conjures up the negative effects of the unconscious. It is equally a grave mistake to think that it is enough to gain some understanding of the images and that knowledge can here make a halt. Insight into them must be converted into an ethical obligation. Not to do so is to fall prey to the power principle and this produces dangerous effects which are destructive not only to others but even to the knower. These images of the unconscious place a great responsibility upon a man. Failure to understand them, or a shirking of ethical responsibility, deprives him of his wholeness and imposes a painful fragmentariness of his life.”
I often wonder why I write and create at all: for whom and why? I struggle with this. As I am sure all individuals that create do. I mean who cares? I love Carl Jung because he supports the individual’s pursuit in becoming aware and becoming whole. He does this for each individual his magic touches. He gave meaning out of the chaos of my life and put me on the right path; towards or from the darkness or light. The above quote wakes me to my responsibility to my ethical obligation. I see him as an elder or father. For years now his books have been on my shelves waiting for me to hold them and reflect on the words of a wise friend and counselor.
To the female journey of women and my animus…
“… to do something for its own sake and not for the sake of another human being – runs counter to feminine nature and often can be achieved only with effort. ~Emma Jung on the Animus
I have never had a real person out-there mentor. My mentors have always been from books published by people long ago demised as William Blake or Carl Jung. When I read their work, it is not in a way as if to own it or to be an expert about their works. When I read their works, and see the images they have created, it is if they are here with me, beyond space and time showing me things.
They help me to affirm what I know and support my experiences. They are my mentors in this life. They show me the big picture and they teach me, they still do, about how to live in this world. They show me how to use my imagination and to share what I have created. They help me understand power, strength, and insight. I have learned to love contradiction, humor, and metaphor. I have found bliss in creating mandalas, water-colors and grasping the hands of nature.
They help me to befriend the fears of my shadow, and so far, have always led me back to the light. I love them and I am not alone in this sometimes strange and dangerous world. The most important thing that they both have in common is that Blake and Jung show me that to be unique is brilliance. Also, we as humans shouldn’t strive for this without its complementary and sometimes contrary opposite, which is to learn to be alike and the same as the most common and mundane.
One day in my master course at Mount St. Mary’s College in Los Angeles, I was in a Spiritual Direction course. The issue of priests and sexual abuse came up as a subject in class. It was an uncomfortable subject for us. My follow students, and believers in the Catholic Church, were in a strange kind of denial. It is not my faith so I can see outside their control panel.
The course was taught by an old Nun. She seemed very with-it and up to date on matters? She was a Spiritual Directive director on campus. She is a type of meditation, psychology, and spirituality advisory person. The Nun-teacher said that these abuse cases would help the Church and make the Church more authentic. I said loudly and firmly in class,
“But sister, just one child abused is too much!”
“You have the right to your opinion…” is all she said back to me
. My “inner guide” was a flame and I almost got up and slapped her in the face. This happened only a few months before the first announcements and lawsuits towards the Archdiocese of Los Angeles, which was around 2004.
Yes, while in this Masters programs, I poked my head deep into the very foundation, laws, history and strange ways of the Catholic Church. As a Jester of High degree I have to know who my enemy is.
So this Ash Wednesday I will sport a red ash on my brow and where a green glove on my right hand. To cherish life one does not rape children or mock the dead. I will take my glove off and slap the air from the arrogance and decadence of this holy day. From my inner place I will imagine that sister-nun-teacher…. because I will be slapping her face…again and again… and again…
My Paperback Books for sale on Amazon. Los Angeles Flipside Fanzine Ten Year Anniversary Issue # 54 (replica) Paperback,
1979 – 1989 punk & fanzine publisher memoir. A complementary book meant to read along side the Los Angeles Flipside Fanzine # 54 Ten Year Anniversary Issue (replica). Novel, honest and engaging. A unique story by a woman journalist who wrote about the punk rock scene. Now celebrating 40 plus years of punk rock.
The Semianry Of Praying Mantis Publishing, Non-fiction novella.
Faerie Story By Hudley Flipside
The Seminary Of Praying Mantis Poems by Hudley Flipside An Underground Bard
The Praying Mantis Watercolor Gallery By Hudley Flipside
Welcome to The Seminary Of Praying Mantis.
Praying mantis shows me her story of life, death, and rebirth. For me she is an image or symbol of the divine in all things. I watch the praying mantis in my garden and have taken her image as my logo. She is an amazing little creature, and I relate to her connection to nature. We are both wild and part of this strange world. She is a part of my mythology as I am part of hers.