“Break out and leave this life behind Break out and see what I can find Might lose I’m going to try my luck Might win don’t really give a fuck I gotta..”
NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD PUNKS
The Flopside crew all have a Spring chest cold. Coughing and pain in the upper torso, so what is more soothing to discomforts than left-handed endeavors?
With a cocktail in one hand and coffee in the other, Mr. Fuck and Mr. Dang dive into that project or idea that’s been just sitting there on the back burner for way too long.
So, Mr. Dang did most of the work … so many angles to the dangle, pencil, ink, watercolor… then Photoshop, layout, and Adobe Acrobat.
A new HP printer is getting past its hazing days of demand. Learning the ways and sounds of a green horn printer is part of the key. Ink looks great.
Hudley was around somewhere getting the crew drinks and making up some sandwiches and chicken noodle soup.
Or is it the old punk bitch ? I forgot how Jan said it ? Ha ha !
“… after you put this down, in the darker times, the deeper times, when you are looking up our of a hole that you feel like you’ve dug yourself into and can’t get our of, the connections that you’ve made from music, art, community and the people who have grown to become your family are all in there with you, because there will be lonely times, times of betrayal and doubt and unimagined anguish, but in twelve to twenty-four hours with the help of all the work that you’ve done the worst of it will have passed.”
~ “Three or Four Times a Month, Part III” By Daryl Gussin. The Forgotten Edge. May 2024 and September 2024. Booklet printed at Razorcake. darygussin.com
Naturally, many of us leaned against the wall while before us were fanzine people. It was crowded, and the vibe was filled with curiosity and wonder to find something to catch your eye. I call it synchronicity walking that what you find is meant for you.
I also achieved my goal of bartering my little bubblegum cartoon / fanzine with other fanzine people. A couple of things I put money forth. The pretentious attitude was not there, that is the best part and merging with mostly a younger generation who thought fanzines like this started with the Gen-X generation,
In line I said,
“It started a lot earlier than that.”
The young man smiled at me seeing my age and he received my high five with a loud slapping sound. Oh, I love doing that.
John and Jan and time for coffee
I was forced to come to this event by a fanatical fanzine person and his friend. Trust Fanzine and Razorcake. Jan Rohlk and Daryl Gussin were table sitting for fanatical music fanzines.
Sample fanzine one. Three or Four Times a Month, Part III” By Daryl Gussin. The Forgotten Edge. May 2024 and September 2024. Booklet printed at Razorcake. darygussin.com
After the free event outside the Broad my John and I walked around under the hotels, apartments hid within the Los Angeles City Hall and court buildings.
We ended up at The Redwood Bar & Grill. For a beer and a band. No band but to our surprise we again found Jan and Daryl doing something on stage. A performance of some sort? I punk rock charged them and then we went back to the bar for beer and some food.
Sample fanzines two IG:@mdzine89
The bar was easy and exceptionally low key. Next to us was a man giving toasts and told us about a certain word in Spanish.
“Do you know what SOCKS means in Spanish?”
“Tell us.” We all said.
Socks like ‘eso sí que es’ in Spanish which means ‘that’s the way it is.”
We enjoyed this and glad I remembered it here.
Sample fanzine three
This gentle man turned out to be a retired firefighter. We talked about the latest fires in Los Angeles. I was amazed by how he defined why the current fires happened. It was parallel to my campaign and his expertise. My “Mandatory Stop building in the San Fernando Valley,’’ is so right on and yes, he agreed with it and told me to keep up the decent work.
He knows that fires are part of an effect of bad or corrupted city and county planning. He affirmed,
“Who do you think is giving out these permits?!”
They are all taking money as they talk… in their back pockets. We have agreed that building big apartments right on the freeway and building big homes and massive apartments in fire prone areas is a sin.
This gentleman affirms my theory with experience and firsthand knowledge.
Sample fanzines four Rimona Eskayo Artist . workers
Driving the freeway from the San Fernando Valley to downtown Los Angeles is not one of my favorite things to do, we had no choice.
I am very happy we followed the night through realizing something. Always keep that meeting with a real friend! Who is more of a music fanatic than you! It is well worth it.
Hudley Flipside | Punk Rock Colleague • Historian • Archivist
A reflection of my turmoil and my search for peace in the midst of the storm
Last night was a dark one, filled with palpable heaviness that lingered in the air. As the planets Pluto and Neptune danced in their contrasting orbits, I felt their influences swirling within me—conflicting energies that stirred both my body and my psyche. It was an unsettling experience, as if I were caught in a cosmic tug-of-war that left me disoriented.
In the depths of my mind, dreams—some eerily prophetic—unfolded like delicate petals blooming in the night. They whispered secrets of the heart and echoes of long-forgotten desires, blending into a arras of haunting beauty. Yet, there was Pluto, that enigmatic force, reaching deep into my being, pulling at my very essence with an intensity that felt almost invasive. It was a reminder of the darker sides of transformation and the raw, sometimes painful, nature of rebirth.
Amid this turmoil, as I finally drifted into a state of fragile sleep, a fleeting glimpse of clarity surged through the chaos. It reminded me of a particular song that resonated deeply within my soul. The melody and lyrics intertwined perfectly with the essence of the night—a reflection of my turmoil and my search for peace in the midst of the storm. It was strange how music seemed to emerge from the depths of my consciousness, illuminating the shadows and giving voice to the inexpressible emotions that flickered in the corners of my mind.
This song has a way of capturing the essence of what it means to navigate the complexities of life, especially during nights like these, when the celestial bodies collide within and around us, leaving us to decipher the meaning of our own existence.
“He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother” is a ballad written by Bobby Scott and Bob Russell. Originally recorded by Kelly Gordon in 1969, the song became a worldwide hit for the Hollies later that year and also a hit for Neil Diamond in 1970. It has been recorded by many artists in subsequent years. The Hollies’ version was re-released in 1988 and again was a major hit in the UK.
As 2025, 1969 was an interval of time in our American history as is now. Seems sometimes a dark part of our American psyche shows its ugly face. Absurd politics, greed and power. Like some awful rouge wave that manifests for a rift of time in our history.
It is a constant here and we just have to know this. We all know this.
“If I’m laden at all I’m laden with sadness That everyone’s heart Isn’t filled with the gladness Of love for one another.”
Don’t let them find you stashing your Flopside cOmics PUSS!
Bound to the hospital bed for 7 days. No food, only moisture from an I.V. and a tube in my nose taking moisture out of my belly.
I thought about the Oceanids watercolors I did during our California Fires only a week earlier. It was so terrible.
I thought upon Prometheus and fire. Zeus bound him to a giant rock… yet it was the Oceanids who trembled and came to his side to hear his stories. Furthermore, to comfort him.
Again, I thought about these amazing creatures so when I was in hospital craving a drink of water, the nurse gave me a small cup of shaved ice.
I did a ritual and put it on my legs, arms, and face. I could not drink it, but I sure could enjoy the bliss of moisture on my body.
The day I got out I felt the rain on my face. Two weeks later I finished my project with a place for the Oceanids … yes, it is good, and we are expecting more rain.
The anthropomorphic Praying Mantis is part of this wild story of water, nymphs and moisture. Praying for fog, rain and moisture we can call upon the Oceanids. A mystery, mythology and now a bubblegum Flopside cOmics.
Tethys
Tethys is a Titan goddess of freshwater and the mother of the Oceanids and the river gods. She is the daughter of Gaia and Uranus, and the wife and sister of Oceanus. Tethys is a nurturing mother to many of the more popular gods, including Hera, the grandmother of Athena.
Moon of Saturn
Tethys is a moon of Saturn with a diameter of 1,066 km (662 miles). It was discovered in 1684 by Gian Domenico Cassini and named after the Greek Titan goddess.
Tethys is known for a fissure that circles most of its circumference. It orbits Saturn every 45 hours, while its moons Telesto and Calypso maintain stable positions in its orbit.
Thalassa
THALASSA is the primordial goddess (protogenos) of the sea. Mingled with Pontos (Pontus), her male counterpart, she produced the fish and other sea creatures.
Thalassa is the literal body of the sea and in the fables of Aesop, manifests as a woman formed of seawater rising from her native element.
Poseidon and Amphitrite, the anthropomorphic king and queen of the sea, are the rulers of the elemental Pontos and Thalassa.
Thalassa is depicted in Greco-Roman mosaics as a matronly woman, half-submerged in the sea, with crab-claw horns, seaweed for clothes, and a ship’s oar in her hand.
Thetis
Thetis is a figure from Greek mythology with varying mythological roles.
She mainly appears as a sea nymph, a goddess of water, and one of the 50 Nereids, daughters of the ancient sea god Nereus.
Styx
STYX is the goddess of the underworld River Styx and the eldest of the Okeanides (Oceanids). She is also the spirit (daimon) personification of hatred (stygos).
Styx is a firm ally of Zeus in the Titan Wars, who brought her children Nike (Victory), Zelos (Rivalry), Bia (Force) and Kratos (Cratus, Strength) to stand beside the god in battle. Zeus rewarded her by making her stream the agent of oaths which bound the gods.
The River Styx is s also a corrosive Arkadian (Arcadian) stream which allegedly flowed forth from the underworld.
Styx is sometimes identified with several other chthonian goddesses, including Demeter Erinys the wrathful earth, the oath-protecting Eumenides, and Nyx the darkness of night.
Telesto
Telesto. In Greek mythology, Telesto or Telestho (/tɪˈlɛstoʊ/; Ancient Greek: Τελεστώ means ‘success’) is an Oceanid, one of the 3,000 water-nymph daughters of Titans Oceanus and Tethys. She is the personification of the divine blessing or success. Hesiod describes her as “wearing a yellow peplos”.
Thoosa
Thoosa. In Greek mythology, Thoosa, also spelled Thoösa, is, according to Homer, the sea nymph daughter of the primordial sea god Phorcys, and the mother, by Poseidon, of the Cyclops Polyphemus.
Triteria
Triteia is a sea nymph and the daughter of Triton, the sea-god. She was the lover of Ares, the god of war, and they had a son named Melanippus.
Melanippus named a town in Achaea after his mother, and sacrifices were made to both Triteia and Ares in the temple of Athena there.
Tritonidis
Tritonidis / Tritônis is the goddess-nymph of the salt-water lake Tritonis in Libya, North Africa. In the story of the birth of the Libyan Athena, Triton–a Libyan Sea-God sometimes identified with Poseidon–and Tritonis are the parents of two daughters named Athena and Pallas.
I do not often show my religiosity training. Be it from university or experience or the blending of the two.
In the 1980s I had a long correspondence with the Poor Clares of Long Island New York, who led me from the Anglican Church to the Episcopal Church. Yet in my heart I was hearing a call from the Franciscans who are members of a Catholic religious order.
I explored the concept of Episcopal women serving as Priests after reading “Womanpriest: A Personal Odyssey” by Alla Renee Bozarth.
I liked them all in their essences of spirituality and integrity of faith, believing in something beyond themselves. Yet it is always the dogma of the church that makes me wonder off.
Professor Hap at university was an Episcopal Gay Priest who would talk about synchronicity and Fellini’s Satyricon with an odd look on his face. We both knew, recited and prayed the Rosary.
Yet my esoteric past held me at a place that could not be bound by dogmas.
“So nigh is grandeur to our dusk,
So near is God to Man!”
~ Ralf Waldo Emerson
“Though the individual fact there ever shone for him the effulgence of the Universal reason. The great Cosmic Intellect terminates and houses itself in mortal men and passing hour. Each of us is an angle of its eternal vision, and the only way to be true to our Maker is to be loyal to ourselves.
“O rich and various man!”
he cries,
“though place of sight and sound, carrying in the senses the morning and the night and the unfathomable galaxy; in thy brain the geometry of the city of God; in thy heart the bower of love and the realms of right and wrong.”
Pg. 1121, Address at The Emerson Centenary. William James.
Mariann Budde A new postcard part of the Brave and Strong Women Postcard series.
“In thy heart the bower of love and the realms of right and wrong,” and this is what she calls to all of us, it is the ability to discern the willingness of compassion or the lack there of. I think so.
We need more of “the effulgence of the Universal reason.” Effulgence means radiant splendor or brilliance. It can also refer to the state of looking exceptionally beautiful or being full of goodness!
Compassion is the “splendor of brilliance.”
The beauty of a flower resembles Mariann Budde, who embodies the connection between “the great Cosmic Intellect and mortal [woman].”
As Mariann Budde said,
“But the vast majority of immigrants are not criminals. They pay taxes and are good neighbors. They are faithful members of our churches and mosques, synagogues, gurudwaras and temples. I ask you to have mercy, Mr. President, on those in our communities whose children fear that their parents will be taken away. And that you help those who are fleeing war zones and persecution in their own lands to find compassion and welcome here.”
In the late 1980s I read “Womanpriest: A Personal Odyssey by Alla Renee Bozarth.” Alla talks about her triumphal cry and about her courage… she had to go on in life after great loss. A lovely biography and what was special is how she said she danced to this song barefoot… it was her song of liberation… let’s hope for the liberation of all who are struggling right now around the world… and hope for the good hearts of our leaders to grow stronger with compassion and mercy in the dim times that we now face.
Hudley Flipside | Punk Rock Colleague • Historian • Archivist
“Fogerty claims the song is about “the apocalypse that was going to be visited upon us”. He also said that when the band was learning the song he recognized the contrast between the apocalyptic words and the happy melody. He said, “It wasn’t until the band was learning the song that I realized the dichotomy.”
“Bad Moon Rising” is a song written by John Fogerty and performed by Creedence Clearwater Revival. It was the lead single from their album Green River and was released on April 16, 1969.”
I can see that there are many artists that have done this song… some really stupid like Satin Puppets and Nxghtshade, old news… ick so redundant.
Yet the best is the original by CCR…
5 days until a full moon as the harbinger of the autumnal equinox approaches. Fires, earthquakes, and lightning… yes. It feels extreme. Glad the heat wave in California broke… yet we did have an earthquake today here in Malibu California.
Fires are happening too. It does not make one want to shout for joy…
The little things we do to make our environment better. Standing still I see around me in my garden or in my home.
Yet outside I try and do things that are good for my environment. I do not use pesticides. I encourage natural pest control. If you give your environment time it will reach a natural balance.
I have developed a nice relationship with my local praying mantis hub. They have balanced out the problem we had of too many black widow spiders.
Yet all the wild animals too come and go in a balanced way too.
Owls come to visit as well as our family bird tribe of ravens.
The laws and resilience of nature is not for me to control we are all on the menu in one way or another. Yet as a human being I practice environmental etiquette.
For example, if you move into a neighborhood, you are happy with your new home. Take a look around and see how the homes around you are like. Is it a caring frequency you feel? Practice environmental etiquette and I guarantee you that you will make all sorts of friends.
Hudley Flipside | Punk Rock Colleague • Historian • Archivist
Not everyone knows the heartache that followed after I completed this project for Gary Tovar. It began as an idea in his mind, and I brought it to life. To this day, I do not know whether he has seen it. It took an enormous amount of time and remains one of my most beloved projects. It featured bands I enjoyed and supported, many of whom were part of Flipside Fanzine and the wild scene we shared.
I am still not sure what happened, but it became one of the most painful experiences from my years in punk rock. Still, it is here for everyone to view freely, and it did receive an acknowledgment.
My years in the early punk scene were overall amazing years. We sure had fun.
Here’s a fun look back at the awesome bands that “Flipside Video” filmed at GOLDENVOICE shows in the ’80s. Gary Tovar hit me up to create a loop, and I just grabbed whatever was close by to pull together something super entertaining.
It’s got that punk vibe that defined an entire era of music and artistic expression! Sure, the colors are all over the place and it’s a bit fuzzy sometimes with those crazy stage lights, but it totally sounds amazing, capturing the raw energy and chaotic essence of live performances.
You can really catch that youthful energy as the crowd bounces in unison, fists in the air, and the music blasts through the venue, creating an unforgettable atmosphere that still resonates today.
Each band brought their unique flair, making the footage a true time capsule of punk rock’s vibrant history and the spirit of rebellion that thrived during those exhilarating times!
How it once was when we were a little more out of control and actually had a very tight scene. I am immensely proud of what is presented here as most likely my last creative endeavor to preserve the Los Angeles Flipside Fanzine narrative.
Flipside Video include Al Flipside, Pooch, Gus Hudson, Joe Henderson, Joy Akoi, and yours truly. Also, sidekicks Gary Indiana and John Crawford.
A lot of work for the Flipside Crew. We often showed up early as the bands were sound checking, to leave after all the crowd had gone.
Yet to hang with the bands and the GOLDENVOICE crew contains some of my most endearing memories. Brought together via my home studio and long hours of editing. An emotionally rewarding experience for me…as punk rock needs to be.
It is a time when the punk scene still had the glamour and enthusiasm of a gleeful youth and was so charming. I miss the intimacy of this scene profoundly so. I know it can be found still and yes, I can still find it now and then. Be More than a witness, as we use to say….
Hudley Flipside
Produced by The Seminary of Praying Mantis Publishing
List of Bands on LOOP
Youth Brigade.
MDC
Big Boys
M.I.A
Toy Dolls
Suicidal Tendencies
Charged GBH
Heart Attack
Pariah
SUBHUMANS
Love Canal
UK SUBS
D.O.A.
Exploited
7 Seconds
Raszebrae
A cup for you drinking enjoyment… or T-shirt.
Click on Image to take you to my Tee Public Page.
Here it is for you viewing pleasure.
Los Angeles Flipside Fanzine Celebration 50 years since first publications. 1977 to 2027
Enjoy the celebration with the original real-time documentation of the Original underground, where every moment is captured with precision and passion, providing an immersive experience that brings the vibrancy and energy of the event to life. Join us as we delve deeper into the stories, the people, and the atmosphere that define this unique gathering, showcasing the innovation and creativity that thrive within the underground scene.
As Colin Abrahall singer of GBH said, “It is legendary.”
Connecting to the soul energy in my handful of dust.
Burial of the Dead
T.S. Eliot
“There is shadow under this red rock,
(Come in under the shadow of this red rock.)
And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handful of dust. (9)”
“Fearing the shadow that strides behind us before the noon of life is as natural as fearing the shadow rising to meet us in the evening.
What is different in the fear that Eliot is describing is the pervading sense of loss in so many people in our twentieth-century wasteland- loss so deep that the vital spark goes out, leaving a hollow shell. Patriarchy is crumbling.
The values that were taken for granted for centuries are being questioned as we watch our raped planet wither under the pressure of acid rain, toxic waste, overpopulation.
We can choose to tyrannize our inner victims and deny our fear, as millions of addicts are doing, or we can try to connect to the soul energy in our handful of dust.
Oppressed peoples around the globe are hearing their inner victims and fighting for their freedom in whatever way they can.”
Pg. 121 Lover can you Spare a Dime? The Ravaged Bridegroom, Masculinity in Women. Marion Woodman
#marionwoodman
I like to find fabrics with lovely colors and designs. I place them around my home. Sometimes the cats sleep on the material of red or golden.
Sometimes I hang the fabric material on my windows, as this textured sunflower pattern, to see the numinous wonder of light and shadow patterns playing on the opposite side of the wall.
Hudley Flipside | Punk Rock Colleague • Historian • Archivist
“The philosophers teach everything except the Hermetic vessel, because that is divine and is hidden from the Gentiles by the lords of wisdom: and they who know it not, know not the true method, because of their ignorance of the vessel Hermes.
~ Pg. 240. AION C.G. Jung
“Summertime Blues” is a song co-written and recorded by American rock artist Eddie Cochran. It was written by Cochran and his manager Jerry Capehart. Originally a single B-side, it was released in August 1958.
“See You in September” is a song written by Sid Wayne and Sherman Edwards. It was first recorded by the Pittsburgh vocal group the Tempos. This first version peaked at No. 23 in the USA in the summer of 1959.
“In the Summertime” is the debut single by British rock band Mungo Jerry, released in 1970.
I must admit summertime used to be so cool. Total freedom as kids for so many summers. Barefoot and hanging with friends or going on vacation to Mammoth Mountains.
Then as I got older cruising up and down Van Nuys Blvd., any one of these three songs did come on the car radio. Going to the local mall was exciting because we rode our bikes there. The seventies with bikini tops and sunburns.
Then the years of getting a job and working… then finding the Punk scene … years of having children of my own and watching their cycle of summertime.
Now it is the heat, the fires and smoky air. I don’t enjoy summertime like I once did.
Yet the songs still bring back the good memories.
1958 sixty six years ago. Liberty Records INC. Hollywood Calif. U.S.A.
She referred to “Tiny” a long-running nickname she has used for Trump since a 2024 comedy event in New Orleans titled Stormy Daniels’ One Night Stand, titled Stormy Daniels’ One Night Stand. During the show, she repeatedly referred to him as “Tiny” and joked that he had been repeatedly caught dozing off during his hush money trial, according to OK! Magazine.
Click on Image for a Stormy Daniels T-Shirt “The Case of the small mushroom.”
Tee Public Designs by Hudley Flipside / Flopside cOmics / The Seminary of Praying Mantis Publishing.
Today Mr. Fuck took a swim in the pool because it is so fucking hot.
So, I offered him a free shot of whiskey. As it is now a time to drift, he shared with me his thoughts about what he feels about the Biden Trump debate. He was so insulted that he is no longer running for president but will stand behind Biden, in a very friendly way.
Trusting Joe’s advice on these times. Yet this is what he wants to do after he saw a recent interview with Stormy Daniels. He said,
“We all grow up and move on in life. Having children changes us.”
He has watched how being a mom can bring out the best of a woman.
He feels that strong women should be admired and pulled up not down.
So, after he witnessed this quote from Stormy, he laughed aloud…
As she said in the interview,
“If Donald had a big mushroom, he would have shown it to us by now.”
And then Mr. Fuck went on….
“The fact is he has a cult. It is called the Case of the Small Mushroom Men and the Women who believe him.
Yet it is not just his small ‘mush but his lies and ability to manipulate people of power. He does not care about this country at all or you or me. He is corrupted to the core of his dark hole.”
Mr. Fuck the Back Door Man.
I hope you realize we are all Stormy Daniels… any of us who stand up to Trump are Stormy Daniels. We will be ridiculed, abused, death threats will be made, and we will be attacked by the Small Mushroom Men and the Women Who with follow him.
Deep down, Donald Trump may feel an intense embarrassment regarding his personal shortcomings, which he attempts to cover up with extravagant rhetoric and actions. This tendency leads to a manifestation of what many perceive as irrational behavior, pushing insanity onto the world in a manner that many believe should not be tolerated, even for a moment.
His actions, driven by a blend of revenge and anger, can be likened to “shark attacks on dry land,” a metaphor highlighting the wild unpredictability and danger he presents in today’s political landscape.
It’s crucial to recognize the broader implications of such behavior, not just on a personal level but also on societal interactions, political discourse, and global relationships. The climate of fear and confusion that may arise from such actions needs to come to a halt, for the well-being and stability of society.
In this context, we want to share this Flipside Art, which represents a powerful statement of solidarity with Stormy Daniels, a woman who deserves unwavering support. Supporting her is not only about recognizing her individual struggles but also about affirming the rights of all women to have autonomy over their bodies. It is essential to advocate for these rights actively, ensuring they are respected and upheld in the face of opposition.
Every woman has the right to stand up for herself, to have her voice heard, and to live free from judgment regarding her choices. In uniting as a community to support such causes, we can foster a more equitable society for everyone.
My dream was otherworldly in that the being I saw descending from high was talking and singing maybe singing song singing prose.
An androgynous sound that was amplified outwards.
5/29/2024
I was driving in a kind of bumper car. I was entering a one-way road with a small entrance. I did not know if it was an arrow in or out. I asked someone. I got out of my car and entered the opening.
There were people gathered there looking up at a descending being who was tall glowing in white gossamer clothing.
Singing prose, the being was walking down. I became terrified of what I saw. I lay down and rolled out of the open outdoors room next to the curtain that embraced lightly the event. Dark burgundy.
I did not know what I carelessly walked into. Yet I knew that once I was there, I was known also and even if I tried to race away in my bumper-car to hide under a tree, I felt I could not get away.
I thought of a quote from the Bible,
“can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,
even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.”
Then also I thought about two films I saw that had the same feeling of that other worldliness of this being.
Such as in the film The Ghost Busters when Gozer, Sigourney Weaver, also known by her alternate title of Gozer the Gozerian asked,
“Are You A God?”
Or as from the film Prince of Darkness where one of the thirteen academics, Kelly, attempts to summon the Anti-God through a dimensional portal using a makeup compact mirror.
I awoke from this dream feeling deeply scared, dark and looked around the room. Dark and looming darkness. Was this a Demigod, maybe demonic?
Then after some thought I realized it was my fear of what I saw that influenced me. Fear of seeing such a being.
Feeling the awesome presence and hearing that prose singing that is somehow still resonating through my being.
I just don’t know what was or is happening.
I was not torn apart as in The Ghost Busters, nor was I being pulled into another world as in the film Prince of Darkness!
A reflection on a song, but more of a motif of how I feel about many songs that once inspired me to something beyond myself, a punk scene.
Gotta Gettaway
Song by Stiff Little Fingers
Gotta gotta gettaway, gotta gotta gettaway
You know there ain’t no street like home
To make you feel so all alone
Plenty of folk to tell you what to do
But they don’t speak the same language as you
()
They wanna have me here
Have me and hold me near
Hold me down fasten and tie
But the cars are all flashing me
Bright lights are passing me
I feel life passing me by
The fuss is buzzing in my head
My father argued and my mother begged
It’s not their words ain’t tugging at me
But gotta stretch them break them get myself free
()
Gotta gotta gettaway, gotta gotta gettaway
I’m leaving home
Funny Stiff Little Fingers played in Los Angeles. In the past I would have done about anything to be there. As a long-time fan who loves their songs.
Yet today out in my lovely garden filled with beautiful tubular purple blossoms, Dionysian Hollyhocks, Excited Jasmine and more, I realized the lyrics don’t appeal to my nature anymore.
I no longer need to “get myself Free.”
“But the cars are all flashing me
Bright lights are passing me
I feel life passing me by,” are not my concern anymore.
“You know there ain’t no street like home
To make you feel so all alone.”
This is in direct opposition to how I feel now.
Because now ‘my street and my home’ is the place where I do not feel alone.
Because being alone or by myself is where I find myself… happy.
I reflect, create, and have made a home that is loving and where I am loved.
This rebellious song of my youth does not hold up for me now.
So, I still love the bands, my youthful rebellion but I am not the young punk anymore. Oh, ya that little punk chick comes out to claim her identity now and then. What a bitch.
Yet a lot of what I hated then I have learned to love now.
Because my home speaks the same language as I do!
I guess I have struggled with this for some time. This time of the year when all the festivals crescendo all over the place… sure once in awhile I will go out… but I now I feel so alone there. The punk scene is not a place to find friends, myself, or wholeness anymore.
“Absurdity is the new sublime. The good news is that, while other resources are dwindling, absurdity is multiplying and flourishing and filling the earth.”
MICHAEL FOLEY The Age of Absurdity
Today while at the barbershop…. I had an argument with a man. He is about my age, with two kids who are both going to college, and he was well spoken.
My general impression of him was good as I listened to him talk in the barber chair next to me.
Yet the talk became political. He likes Trump because he says he is a “strong man!”
We disagreed back and forth… later I reflected on what is a strong man?
The dictionary gives these definitions!
“Noun, Plural strong·men.
1. a person who performs remarkable feats of strength, as in a circus.
2. a political leader who controls by force; dictator.
3. the most powerful or influential person in an organization or business, by reason of skill in the formulation and execution of plans, work, etc.
I would agree with the first two about Trump. Yet the last is not Trump.
I think Trump is a projection of self-made lies and propaganda. He is a man who has a negative influence in our country, he has bad organizational skills, sucks in formulation and execution of plans, work etc.
For example: His insurrection failed, and he did not win the last election. The cases against Trump are numerous!
Trump is a circus act, a wannabe dictator who is not the kind of strong man we need!
I think strong men are responsible, compassionate, and true to themselves… yet they don’t have to amplify their malicious maleness in a way that belittles women or anyone.
A strong man has empathy, trust, intuition, and emotional connections with others!
And this is Trump Achilles heel…. He lacks the ability to have empathy, so he has no aptitude of intuition or emotional connections with others besides what serves his corrupt ego. His psyche is bleak and thick with zilch. He only shows us scorn and lacks the ability to give or receive goodness.
Uncouth buffoon!
I don’t see what blocks a average man like him, at the local barbershop, from seeing the truth about Trump. It is profoundly absurd.
“…who tolerates, which is intolerable; who is kind, which is cruel; who understands, which is beyond comprehension…”
― Edward Albee, Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?
The irony…. Oh the irony…. When love is not around to liberate us?
The case of the small mushroom men and their scab of a leader!
TRUMP’S ECONOMICS ARE “ECONOMIC STUPIDITY.”
“But my dreams, they aren’t as empty As my conscience seems to be I have hours, only lonely My love is vengeance That’s never free.”
Hudley Flipside | Punk Rock Colleague • Historian • Archivist
Nina Simone, The Animals, The Saints and the lovely Elvis Costello.
Songs are amazing and these two songs, Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood and (i’m) Misunderstood, alway help me feel familiar with those odd feelings happening in my life.
Today two songs came to mind. Songs that make me feel human. I love both and they have a history.
Funny how today both songs came together and finally hit me. They superimposed on each other in my mind. The 60s and the late 70s and beyond.
Being misunderstood is often an issue and these two songs explain it so well while getting all the emotions together. We are all sorry at times… we all want to be loved.
Well If I get edgy, I want you to know I never mean to take it out on you Life has its problems, I get more than my share But there’s one thing that I would never do ‘Cause I love you Oh
“Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood” is a song written by Bennie Benjamin, Horace Ott and Sol Marcus for American singer-songwriter and pianist Nina Simone, who recorded the first version in 1964. “Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood” has been covered by many artists. Two of the covers were transatlantic hits, the first in 1965 by the Animals, which was a blues rock version.”
Nina Simone
The Animals
You’re all talkin’ ’bout better days If I got one I think I’d go insane I’ve been misunderstood for too long
“Eternally Yours is the second album by Australian punk rock band the Saints, released in 1978. Produced by band members Chris Bailey and Ed Kuepper, the album saw the band pursue a bigger, more R&B-driven sound, augmented by a horn section. The album also saw the introduction of bass guitarist Algy Ward, who replaced the band’s previous bass player, Kym Bradshaw in mid-1977.”
The Saints
Elvis Costello
“Rather than scrap the session we cut a slow, violent version of the Animals/Nina Simone song: “Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood”. The next day we borrowed Michael Blair from Tom Waits‘ band to add a marimba part, and the record was complete. This may seem ironic as I attacked the song with a vocal capacity that Tom might have rejected as being too hoarse.”
Wild flower in my garden comes forth singing Coyote’s song…
Does it seem braggadocio to say that I am no longer searching.
Blake, Jung and The Divine Comedy no longer guide me? All the religiosity I have learned pales in comparison to what I found within myself … nature, mother father God … the medicine wheel, praying mantis, Dionysus.
The mystery is accepted! Creativity and the simple things in life guide me.
I still have ambitions and needs which inspire me but it is different now.
All the emotions play now… a compassionate nature almost crescendo at times … but passes.
