Melanoma / je suis de nouveau libre

5/30/23

I beat it. No more cancer in me… i am free again.

4/ 27 23

Update. I have melanoma and now on for surgery and possible other options to kill the cancer.

As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being.
~ Carl Jung

I have studied at universities the value of sacred texts and myths older than the patriarchs. I have been a probationer with the Rosicrucian Fellowship longer than forty years and learned of the creation of the cosmos, astrology, and the journey of our souls and of evolution and rebirth.

I have visited the underworld where darkness I did escape back into the light. I know the medicine wheel where Buffalo whispers in my ear of the wonders of bravery.

I have dreamed of the Thyrsus and watched bees. Knowing both have blessed my heart as they collect nectar of the soul and flowers. Teaching me about nature.

I created two beings in my womb and have taken on the responsibilities as a wife and mother. I create with the wonder of my youth and education. I have known misery and despair and bliss and orgasmic wonders. I have experienced the death of my loved ones and also the death of love.

I also have endured many things. I see the good and wonderful as well.

All these things are within me and help me to travel this journey of life. We own nothing. Everything is temporary and a gift.

Yet this waiting on biopsy of a possible Melanoma skin cancer is a bit overwhelming.

It started out as a new mole on my left upper arm about five years ago. The shape of a dark brown heart. I thought to myself, affirming,

“I don’t remember this?”

Yet it has changed over the last few months. And so, I took responsibility as I am turning 65 this May to take care of myself and address myself squarely as well as my mortality.

It could be nothing, or it could be a minor surgery to remove it, or it could be much more dangerous.

My doctor dermatologist said.

“Yes, it is a pretty heart shape.” and I replied.

“A kiss from the devil.”

We both laughed.

I Can Smell The Ocean

As a child in my mama’s womb

Topanga at 65.

Born I would say,

“I can smell the ocean.”

Halfway through the Santa Monica Mountains.

Reflecting on how I can never leave these mountains.

Hitchhiking as a teenager

Or high in the back of a car thinking,

“Do these guys know where they are going?”

Fast turns and endless nights.

Foggy mornings when we ditched school,

Taking a slow ride to the beach.

Riding my white mustang through

The Topanga fire trails,

Both of us swimming in a river

Near the end of those trails.

Long journeys looking for my dad,

Who had dementia yet hitchhiked,

To a bar on the Pacific Coast Highway.

How did he get there?

The police brought him back.

He grew up near the Santa Monica Pier.

I can never leave these Mountains,

Joining the San Fernando Valley

To the Pacific Ocean.

I see old burnt trees,

From those hideous fires,

I smell green plants and flowers returning,

From the blessing of a hearty rainstorm.

DEBUNK THE PUNK Again…

Hudley Flipside

Punk Rock Historian and Professional Consultant

Robert Dean Stockwell (March 5, 1936 – November 7, 2021)

Punk rock Debunked …I remember hearing Darby Crash say his father was the kid with green hair who was in the film The Boy with Green hair.

I thought it was funny, Yet I heard the gossip spread around as things tend to. Well currently while I was studying a particular actor that I like, not only did I find that he was an environmental activist, but that he was in fact the boy who played the part.

Dean Stockwell was the kid with green hair who played the boy in the film The Boy with Green Hair. He played a lot of acting parts as a kid. I think he is so fun to see through his years of films and TV series. He was the best of character actors.

1968… wow I remember this like yesterday… at 10 years old. I remember all the flower children. Topanga Canyon to the PCH. We would hang out and watch them… endlessly on the streets. It was so real… more than a film …. but it does bring back memories. I have nothing against flower children or hippies… they were pretty cool. Which is why I am a pacifist to this day. One of my brothers was a flower child for as long as the scene lasted.

Going to San Francisco in the early 1980s hippies would still walk up and ask if you wanted some acid. Also taking the subway in San Jose old hippies still were living the life. They smelled bad and were not too curious about the young punks around them. Sometimes you could start up a conversation.

Razorecake Interview Todd Taylor and Hudley.

I am cleaning up some of my pages here on my site. I was surprised to find this podcast still available. It was a time when I was reclaiming my punk rock heritage. I could feel the punk nostalgia hitting back in 2008. Now it has taken full circle and there are more experts, new documentarians and other people taking a historic look at Punk Rock. Even… some museums cough cough. It is all good I guess but I hate to see punk exploited for money and sometimes a rewriting of history can be witnessed.

Yet since this interview with Tod, I have achieved my goals. For example, KFJC DJ Hudley Flipside for Flipside Radio is up and running, I published a new paperback edition of Los Angeles Flipside Fanzine # 54 our Ten-Year Anniversary Issue in 2019. Also, My Punkalullaby memoir is on the go for sale too.

I think I have voiced myself clearly when it comes to punk rock and my history with this phenomenon quite clearly. Numerous stories and narratives on my WordPress blog not to forget my Los Angeles Flipside Fanzine the Narrative Documentary / Film Epeisodion 1 – 3. I am holding this to my heart. I am sitting on Epeisodion 1-3 to see?

I want to thank Todd Taylor back then when I was really wrestling with my punk rock devil. He believed in me and helped me to find my voice once more.

To believe in that crazy little punk chick that I once was when I ran with such an interesting crowd of characters, bands and even some endearing friends, even to this day. I think I have said all I need to say.

Todd Taylor and Hudley

Interview with Hudley: Co-owner of Flipside Fanzine from 1979-1989: Co-owner of Flipside Fanzine from 1979-1989.

Finalist In Art Competition: Superior and the best of human nature.

I have often been afraid or uneasy or did not believe in competition. The means of doing anything is an obligation I took for myself and the world a long time ago. Acknowledgement is a new feeling for me, and I like it.

What really turns me on here is that so many countries unite through sharing their art in a competition without hate or dismay. That the world can join here in peace and beauty and reflection.

This is so good. That is why I love my WordPress site. It lets individuals communicate all around the world. Communication is the key to peace and though we can get angry, expression is always best. Creative expression is our superior and the best of human nature.

* I placed as a Finalist in the April 2023 Competition. So much art… yet the renegotiation is satisfying. Below is the inspiration. A quote from a book.

“One day, having noticed my covetous gaze, he presented me with a tiny golden pendant of my own-two bees entwined together around a tiny honeycomb. It glistened in the sun light, so rich and burnished that I thought the minute drop of honey would melt and slide away in the heat.”

Daedalus gives Ariadne a gift. ~ Ariadne Page 7, by Jennifer Saint.

It says pencil in the competition. It is pencil, sharpie pen ink and watercolor.

“Entries from many countries across the world: South Korea, Hong Kong, Ukraine, USA, Taiwan, Austria, Italy, Canada, Poland, Singapore, South Africa and Portugal. Enjoy the show and thank you for expressing an interest in our competition.”

https://www.greycubegallery.com/current-show/index.html

Vinyl Fanzine Three

A nice line up of bands…. really awesome… Thanks… and all my punk love and beyond.

Intervetion COC

American dollars and weapons gleam
Support another corrupt regime
Human rights long out of style
Another killing another farce-trial
Intervention
All the millions spent in aid
Spent on the war parade
Technological march of death
Finalize a child’s last breath
Intervetion
War-monger leaders in search of glory
Make their blood mark on history
As the children die of malnutrition
Another child killed by
Some political position
Intervetion

1987 was a rough time for me punk wise. I had a few miscarriages, and we did not have any medical coverage at the time. We were not young anymore and hitting close to turning 30. Some of our staff had it easy still living at home with their folks while Al and I struggled to keep each issue, video and record moving down the production-project-line.

As I have said many times before there were a lot of hands in the Flipside cookie jar and bands were an ‘overwhelming wipe-out.’ Always under a wave of needs.

Our neighbors we lived next to in the same courtyard were turning into monsters. Yet we moved on… even after the 1987 Whittier Earthquake hit hard. Our office had a pile of records, images, books, computer stuff as tall as the ceiling. It took forever to clean up.

Our neighbors on either side lived outside for a few months which made the neighborhood scary.

The Flipside machine kept up the work regardless of earthquakes, miscarriages, or any other drama.

I was getting tired of the violent art that most punk bands were putting out in their work. It got very uncreative and redundant. Yet, I know many talented people were all doing their best. Considerably more talented than I but then again they did not own this Fanzine.

I came up with two of my first “Flopside Cartoon Characters” then. Doomis Day and Roonski Cat. I used them a lot as little doodles in our Fanzine.

So being that staff person Joy was pushing her talent all over the place I took a stand and put my goofy art on the cover of this Vinyl Fanzine. I was having fun and trying to move away from the usual cover images I was enduring.

Doomis Day was of course a rendering of Doris Day. Roonski cat came with a loud giant ghetto blaster. These two characters were off- beat and annoying. Doodles at their best. A little bit of “those who caused considerable trouble” still echoing through Los Angeles Flipside Fanzine and beyond!

Over 40 years celebration, Rodney on the ROQ vinyl band compilation. Vol. 1-3

Punk Rock Historian and Professional Consultant

Hudley Flipside

Maybe a cliché or fuck up, or glitch will be found… my burning tears… always found in an honest Los Angeles Flipside Fanzine project or on a vinyl record played too many times….

My celebration today…

A Hudley Flipside Editorial

Rodney on the ROQ vinyl band compilation. Vol. 1-3

Issue 21

Issue 28

Issue 35

Flipside Fanzine, My Aim Is True

1980 Hudley

My obligation to Los Angeles Flipside Fanzine. (1977 to 2002)

As a co-publisher, editor of Flipside Fanzine I hold to my heart a need to protect and preserve the memory of this Fanzine. Being its roughly 20 years of existence.

How it is presented to the world is important to me. At one time Flipside Fanzine supported a beginning and then growing underground, and international, punk rock scene.

Over the last few years, I have had bands, record labels, writers and major movie companies approach me for images for their work and/or production pertaining to Flipside Fanzine. I engage the many demands in a proper and organized manner.

There is not another Flipside person who has stepped forward to engage this pressure.

My intentions are good for Flipside Fanzine, and I will continue to protect it as best I can. I hold good integrity too. I can choose with whom I share or sell things from this Fanzine.

Be it the fanzine itself, videos, or records. I am under an umbrella of protection, and I can release things for such productions as I always mention those involved at the time if they are dead, or otherwise, or do not want to be bothered. Flipside was a fast moving fanzine with many who did willfully engage freely in its creative life time.

I love Los Angeles Flipside Fanzine. It is ironic to me, but Flipside’s created products become more precious with time. Everything Flipside “produced and created” is becoming more in demand.

In its publishing history there have only been two owners of Los Angeles Flipside Fanzine, its “living publishing time,” Al Flipside (Al Kowalewski) and me Hudley Flipside (Holly D Cornell).

I promise to do my best with all of Los Angeles Flipside Fanzine documented materials and all products over its full life. Yet now it is a defunct fanzine and we only see it as a history of what once was and so many of its creations still shine in many corners of the world.

My Aim Is True,

Hudley Flipside / Holly D Cornell

The Seminary of Praying Mantis Publishing

hudleyflipside@gmail.com

https://hudleyflipside.com

Art Mineral Film

Do you remember those art films you watched in class in elementary school. They got me to wondering just like a mystery or scary film. So, I decided to engage those memories with my own art mineral film.

Youngest son had to go study minerals and gems … a fun day at the LA Museum but both the LA Memorial Coliseum and Natural History Museum of Los Angeles County are surrounded by poverty and such a treacherous drive to get there.

The duality of life is witnessed! Many older women wait at the bus stop, as fast cars cut corners in the pursuit of oblivion? Strange dark corners in old broken apartments hold desperation or reflection as I see!

In return the big rich donors to the museum are great, as the surrounding community lacks such concern!

Happy unaware children and babies and a history of preservation even on a hooked tip of a once weaponized airplane!

Love Working all my life

A. Shea Writer

A mother’s heart

is never her own.

Bits of it are sown

into the souls

of her daughters

and her sons.

https://www.readpoetry.com/5-poems-that-showcase-the-strength-and-nurturing-power-of-motherhood/

Working all my life, on and off, with many types of jobs I stopped working after I had children. Now at 65, I am short of one point. This comes to around two thousand dollars ($1,640) based on my social security to receive any of my benefits.

I saw that there was a women’s movement in this country to have “Housewives” get paid for their “love” work at home.

I think the “Wages For Homework” should be a current movement for those who choose to stay home and take care of the kids, and all the other chores that come with running the household. Cooking, cleaning, accounts, changing the kitty litter box etc. It is not a sex thing but a government thing. Our government bases everything on the amount of taxes a person pays which is based on their earned income.

My goal is to sell 100 Los Angeles Flipside Fanzines (Only 20 dollars each) this year to make my point in order to earn my social security benefits and Medicare. And to bring back the campaign “Wages For Housework” because if women can’t have abortions who is going to stay home and take care of the kids? We need to take care of the mamas, grand-mamas, the babies and support our families! All with excellent healthcare too.

Just click on the image…

“Since 1978, you can earn up to a maximum of 4 credits per year.

Credits are based on your total wages and self-employment income for the year. You might work all year to earn 4 credits, or you might earn enough for all 4 in much less time.

The amount of earnings it takes to earn a credit may change each year. In 2023, you earn 1 Social Security and Medicare credit for every $1,640 in covered earnings each year. You must earn $6,560 to get the maximum 4 credits for the year.

During your lifetime, you might earn more credits than the minimum number you need to be eligible for benefits. These extra credits do not increase your benefit amount. The average of your earnings over your working years, not the total number of credits you earn, determines how much your monthly payment will be when you receive benefits.”

https://www.ssa.gov/benefits/retirement/planner/credits.html