Randomness

Today while driving home from shopping. I saw the mail person next door delivering mail. He is rather new. I miss my mail girlfriend who I saw all over the neighborhood delivering mail even during the heart of the Covid-19 pandemic.

This fellow is sweet. He often makes corner turns on lawns and jumps over bushes. The mail man is small with a black beard, regardless he is a welcomed mail person.  

Today I waited in my car as he walked along the path to our home. He stopped to answer his phone. A letter fell to the ground.

He looked over at me and I pointed down with my finger. He smiled and proceeded to deliver our mail. I got out of my car and walked over to the letter.

Upside down on the cement walkway with the newly fallen golden leaves it was singular in its significance. It was a simple personal letter addressed from one person to another.

I thought to myself,

“It is nice to see people still writing letters to each other in simple white envelopes.”

As Mr. Mail Person walked up to me, I nicely stated that I found this and saw that it in fact dropped from his bag.

“I just got cataract surgery on both eyes, so now I see everything.”

Smiling he said,

“twenty-twenty..” As he pointed to his eyes.

“I am glad I was there to see the letter.”

I handed him the message.

As I drove up into my driveway, I began to carry the groceries and put them on my red brick porch, I noticed the familiar smell of cannabis.

I then reflected on the concept of randomness and being there at the right time and place. Mr. nice smiling guy mail person got the letter to be delivered again.

In my neighborhood on Thursdays gardeners work, and trash cans are put out. I am happy to say I was an invisible helper. 

I hope.

This correspondence should reach its destiny.


Epeisodion One, Two and now Three

Out soon on Vimeo

Flipside documented the punk scene.

Pooch, Larry, Tory, X-8, and Al decided to do what no one else was doing. Write a fanzine. Live music was raw, loud, and intense. The clubs and bands were happening. A punk scene was growing fast, and punks gathered together in clusters.

“In the vacuum of outer space particles tend to clump together. We clustered together as young punks, and we created a scene that is still amounting to something? We were a forgotten stagnation of youths that yearned for change. We were unhappy with our world and ourselves.”

– My Punkalullaby ~ Hudley Flipside

Presented by Hudley Flipside

The Seminary of Praying Mantis Publishing

Special Guest Tony Reflex…


Dead D.H. Peligro RIP


Punk Rock Historian and Professional Consultant

Hudley Flipside


It is always a shock when someone from the original punk scene passes away. Our youthful rebellion was vulnerable… we all aged and still feel that strong connection. I do and I try not to get me too much into it.

All of those drumbeats of so many songs that moved us. I did not know all the players as I may have wanted to. Yet we were all connected. A punk scene where all of our voices are still echoed in podcasts and fans galore.

It is all good. It is sad good. Yet as I pull back, I am always pulled in again about that amazing scene. Where we all worked towards something. Bands, fans, fanzines, or promoters. It is just not the same now… but there are times when those feelings come to visit. I call it the curse of punk rock.

Dead D.H. Peligro RIP

I edited this together today…. a little sad but fun.


My DC days are darkened and unenlightened … not hopeful and bright like they once were.



Sometimes I watch court cases on TV. I do learn what is contemporary and real. What is acceptable and what is not. How Judges rule is something to ponder. Thinking about what is right and see how people are wronged too often and in subtle ways. It is the law that a Judge is meant to make whole of what was broken.

Often this brings up feelings and real lived experiences that were broken in my life.

I have written about it before. I then delete the post. Yet until something is made whole it can cause a long time of rendering a healing.

When my oldest son was about 16, he is 30 now, a person wanted to interview me about DC Punk. He came to my house with his camera person and then did.

I had prepared all my precious Flipside material that I have saved and protected all these years for his documentary. I made a giant board and drew dark Sharpie Permanent Marker lines to all the bands and time frames and scene. I was very interested in helping him promote his documentary when it was first shown in Los Angeles.

He took some original KFJC Radio Tapes and Flipside Information and also Flipside Video live interviews.

The night before the reviewing in front of the theater about 15 minutes before the film started, he told me I was edited out. He told me it was because I was not a DC person. Then why did he come to my house in Southern California to interview me?

Yet when I viewed the documentary, I saw that he took my interview concepts and used them as a thread throughout his documentary. Which would have been revealed if he did in fact use my interview in his documentary. The evidence is there.

He led me to believe that I would be on the panel before the event. Yet I was not included. My interview was replaced by Boyd Farrell from Black Market Baby reading a letter from Flipside Fanzine. The only voice that he used was Al Flipside’s who said a few words about Straight Edge.

At the event Ian MacKaye patronized me and Flipside. Talking for me when he knew I was there to talk for Flipside Fanzine and myself.

As a punk rock Los Angeles Flipside Fanzine publisher and writer for ten years, who was once welcomed in the Discord house and slept in his bedroom, and Ian who visited the Flipside Houses more than once, I was deeply hurt by his betrayal of our friendship. Protecting the history of Flipside Fanzine means a great deal to me.

I don’t know where Al Flipside is. He has not shined a light on Flipside Fanzine for the last 18 years. But Flipside was very involved in supporting the DC scene in its early hub experience. All documented very well within Flipside Fanzine. More than some stupid fucking letter.

As a woman I was excluded. I found this so unnerving.

So many people post about how great the film is and how great Ian is. Yet both the creator of the film, Ian and others involved were so uncaring and cruel to me. I just think it needs to be heard again.

He could have just sent me an email before the event or earlier and I just would have not gone. Or not leave me standing alone at another showing. I learn still and I hope some day I will heal from this. Yet it is a thorn in my side.

When I see the yellow Complete Discography on Minor Threat’s cover with Ian bent over, iconic as it is, I see only shame… his shame.

They, he broke my heart. If that is what the straight edge is for… well you can go fuck off.

The worst of the worst !

Walk instead the curving round


When one listens

To cats’ whisperings

One hears their stories of prose!

Sometimes

walking down

The nice lane

Isn’t the right lane

For you.

Walk instead the curving round,

And angry

Lonely curb

May serve you better.

Why did I try

And save a bee

From drowning

Only to get stung?

Now the bee is dead

My hand

Hurts remembering

the stinger.

Giving hot coffee

To a street person

On a cold day

She responding,

“What’s that?”

“Some nice coffee for you, you look like you need some.”

“Didn’t you know caffeine is bad for you.”

You gawk, consider, and chew over …

The wind is alone

Yours to hear unaided.

Like the ringing in your ears

Yours alone to care.

When one listens

To cats’ whisperings

One hears their stories of prose!

Like Persephone

I will hope on my own

And take some time

Walking along

the curving round,

And angry

Lonely curb.


The Mind Shaft Club 1977

Mind Shaft Fever

My Mind Shaft days a hurricane of life all contained in a year or two. So much happened.

“I guess you’re just what I needed (just what I needed)
I needed someone to feed
I guess you’re just what I needed (just what I needed)
I needed someone to bleed”I guess you’re just what I needed (just what I needed)
I needed someone to feed
I guess you’re just what I needed (just what I needed)
I needed someone to bleed

I don’t mind you comin’ here
And wastin’ all my time, time
‘Cause when you’re standin’ oh so near
I kinda lose my mind, yeah”


Once the entrance to small town of Calabasas was a two-lane road. Before the apartments and The Commons at Calabasas took over. You might even catch a horse or two riding off the road. It had an outback country cowboy feeling to it.

Now when I drive through the heavy traffic I reflect back when I was 18 and how so much happened there after I graduated high school.

Two years in particular were years full, heavy, and sometimes like an eternity of love, dancing growing up and serial killers galore.

As I drive along this two-lane road my eyes often search for the Mind Shaft club. I don’t know exactly where it was now or if it is still there. Was it torn down maybe?

The building that housed this club was unique. The Mind Shaft was located on a second story that housed a great bar, stage, and dance area. Remember those?

A real dance area surrounded by wood beams as though we were dancing in a large square corral.

It was shady, dark, and the music was loud.

It was in a place like this I transformed from a valley girl, into a rock girl which led me down the road into the ‘curse of punk rock.’

My long blond hair transformed into a 1970s shag cut.

My best friend ‘Sue Blue’ and I ‘Holly Who’ were a dance team and met a lot of guys at the Mind Shaft.


Holly Who and Sue Blue, Mind Shaft Fever

One guy in particular was very drunk but very nice. He spent the whole night trying to get me on a date the next day to his best friend’s wedding. He told me he could not go by himself.

I was not very good at back car begging back then.

Finally, I gave in and gave him my number too. He called me the next day and picked me up. About 3 o’clock.

Before this I had no idea what to wear. A nice top and shirt and some high heal pink shoes I had in the back of my closet. It was easy to dress up back then. I had a stylish figure quite nice in fact.

As a rather shy person I think this guy noticed right away I was not socializing as he may have wanted me to do. The outdoor wedding was nice. It was located somewhere in the hills of Calabasas.

Right away I noticed many of the bridesmaids and others were giving me the look.

“Who is she?”

One of this guy’s friends told me nicely during the reception,

“He only brought you here today to make his x girlfriend jealous.”

Who just happened to be one of the bridesmaids.

“Yet I would like to take you out?”

I told him,

“Fuck no. Have you and your friend lose my number!”

I split and hitchhiked home.

I don’t like big gatherings like weddings, bridal showers, baby showers and funerals. Seems so pretentious. I especially don’t like being used to make another girl jealous.


An Energized Mars


An Energized Mars

Astrologically speaking,

I am experiencing an energized Mars.

I cannot stop from writing even though

I must go outside and do some work.

Maybe clean out an old desk.

I let the energy flow… so,

I thought this image of Mars,

The make-out guy

Who is my stimulating animus

or unconscious masculine side of me,

in a positive direction.

A song too….

very homeopathic.

Fight fire with fire.

No criticisms,

well only a few

thrown abroad today

ride on.




Lycanthropy: My favorite scream from any punk singer… ever…

Celtic Wolf

“We do have myths. Myths nourish the old soul with even older stories. They give us strange images and amazing suggestions; these promote speculations that activate the aging mind.”

~ Hillman, James. The Force of Character: And the Lasting Life

Oh, I grew up with the Werewolf story. My best friend Gigi and I walked down to the local market with our pennies for candy. Then back up the wild hills, what we kids called “the Indian trails,” to watch scary movies on Saturday. Only with a big pillowcase full of candy. We knew this quote by heart,

“Even a man who’s pure at heart and says his prayers at night, will become a wolf when the wolfbane blooms and the Autumn moon is bright.”

The original quote written by screenwriter Curt Siodmak is “Even a man who is pure in heart and says his prayers by night may become a wolf when the wolfbane blooms and the autumn moon is bright.”

Move forward to the early 1980s when I played Charged GBH’s song for the first time. It was such a treat. I became a kid again climbing the “Indian trails” once more.

The wild sage bushes, hills of grass and sun above and the windy blue sky. I was free running and rolling through the wonder of youth. The easiness and thrill of being scared by good old monster films. Walking home at night with the full moon coming up from the Verdugo Mountains Range and hearing owls singing!.

I never saw the band play the song live in the 1980s. They would tease us. But Ross and Jock are very clever and played a new song.

Then a few years back 2007 when they were touring in the United Sates, we went to see them in Ventura California. Not far from my hometown. They must have known we were coming!! As we were walking towards the event from behind the theater I heard a call,

“Hudley, Hudley…”

We saw Ross screaming from a second story room. His English slang-accent endearing to my heart. Looking up we heard him tell us to wait there he had something to tell me.

So, when we were in front of the theater Ross and Colin came out. Colin came up to me and said,

“Hudley, we have a real treat for you. We are going to play the old songs.”

I often got on their cases. Asking them to play Lycanthropy. Even had them write out the lyrics to the song on a napkin. Which I still have. It only took about thirty something years to finally hear GBH’s song Lycanthropy live.

Well that about does it this year with my little story about a band, a song, wolfbane and the first full moon of Autumn.

As ritual goes every first full moon of Autumn, since first hearing the song Lycanthropy, I listen to the song! I dance, howl and enjoy my childhood and youthful rebellion again! I enjoy the song so much! All the good wild feelings are there !

October 9, Hunter’s Moon

The next full moon will be on Saturday morning, Sept. 10, 2022, at 5:59 a.m. EDT.

Yet, the Moon will appear full for about three days from Thursday evening to Sunday morning.

“Aging makes metaphor of biology. The organic changes are a form of poetic speech, rewriting personality into character.”

~ Hillman, James. The Force of Character: And the Lasting Life


Becky Barton


I knew it would happen. It did. I make a stupid declaration about not documenting punk rock anymore. Then a precious face shows up from my youthful rebellion.

Donna Rhia is a original Germs member. A Los Angeles punk band that made their history. She was their first drummer and was foundational support for the forming of the band.


Becky aka Donna Rhia is one of the first women who pulled me into punk rock. A friendly, silly, fun, ruthless gal who walked the original trail of the early Los Angeles punk scene knowing all the original punks. She was an open door and I walked in.

The things we did together were not always about punk rock. There were fun and creative alternative adventures. She was happy to be with me and I learned about being social in a crazy way and a friendship way too.

She invited me to join her at The Renaissance Pleasure Faire in Agoura. We made confetti eggs to sell at a booth, but I enjoyed walking around screaming,

“Cascarones for sale, three for a dollar.”

Dressed up in Renaissance clothing and running around with her seemed so natural and unassuming. As awkward as I was, she never was pretentious or scolding.

I am leading up to one of our best moments at the fair that day. It was not a big giant festival as they are today either. Everything was quaint and magical.

It is one of my favorite stores to tell.

Dyan Diamond and Kim Fowley were walking by us. I did not know them, but Becky did. She was so unassuming with her underground punk knowledge and carried it with her as a special shawl of wonder to me. I was happy to share that shawl too.

“Holly, I dare you to go and smash an egg on Kim’s and then Dylan’s head, then we can hide and watch behind this log.”

I took on the dare. I smashed two eggs on their heads. Colorful confetti was everywhere!

I ran back and there was Becky rolling on the ground, laughing in the leaves where I soon joined her. It is one of those jokers’ moments.

How many more times did I inspire to this type of punk humor? Oh yes, all the time.

Kim and Dyan looked like cartoon characters. Dyan with her tight leopard skin pants and Kim with smoke popping out of his head. Looking around with bulging eyes,

“Who did that, fuckers.”

This is what she taught me as she pulled me in to the world of punk rock. We were both going through changes and met for a fleeting time as she disappeared from the punk scene and where I was pulled deeper in. The curse of punk rock. No matter how I try it will not let me go.

The astounding characters I met. She is one.

On the edge, in the middle and even now from the beginning.

This is a song that we sang, like others, as we raced down the road in her car. Wasn’t it so personal then… well we were sure feeling it. I told her,

“I don’t think I will make it to 21….”

Funny how some friends show up and you find each other again and others just are gone.