Only the last few weeks a memory came forth. Days on the east coast living in Rochester New York. Taking the bus to see my patients as a Home Health Aide. Trained through the Red Cross.

There was a bus stop there where I would stop between buses. A coffee shop. It was small with a round platform. I would get a piece of pie and cup of coffee.

Here is where I met Betty MaCusic.

I was sitting alone and she sat next to me. Then she asked me a question,

“Are those Kachinas on your arm?”

They were two figures, tattoos, that do resemble Kachinas.

This is where a beautiful friendship grew over the years. Even until I moved back to California.

We talked about Native Americans, and the Medicine Wheel. A name came up that amazed her.

“Yes, I met Sun Bear. I went to a Medicine Wheel Gathering in the late 80s.”

I told her it was in northern California where I went for a week to a Medicine Wheel gathering. It was near the Russian River in Northern California. I was dropped off while the rest of the Flipside Crew went back to San Fransico for a show and distribution of our fanzine. Staying with Maximumrocknroll.

She told me her story. That her son and daughter-in-law were fans of Sun Bear. They did a recording for him of singing and drumming. They sent a tape to him. But they never got a reply. That saddened me. Later their marriage did not last and they divorced.

The probability of us meeting and talking about Sun Bear is a remarkable one. Now I realize that somehow, I was meant to assure them that the Medicine Wheel is real and part of our connection. I met her son but only briefly.

I don’t know where I found his original book published in the 1980s. But this is one that was published when I was in fact living in Rochester New York. Funny how I did not make this connection until recently.

It has been on my mind lately.

Sun Bear often said that “Shit Happens.”

He told me a story once where many people would call him and ask for help with their life problems. He would listen for a long time. Not sharing a word. Then he would break the conversation with these words,

“Go out into your garden. Dig a big deep hole. Throw some seeds into that deep hole. Then scream everything into the hole. Everything you just told me. Cover it up and see what grows.”

Then he would hang up.

It is amazing to think about how a book, place or person was found back in the middle of the 1980s. I guess following one’s intuition and going to the local bookstore was a way to find new things. I did a lot of correspondence back then. Writing, reading, and meeting people.

While I appreciate the ease of finding information today, I am surprised at my past experience of taking a bus to patients’ homes in Rochester and how I managed to find and attend appointments without even knowing the area. I was always on time.

Part of the Strong Women Postcards Series

“Wise One,” eponymous Mother Goddess of the Medes. Like Medusa and Metis, she was named from the Sanskrit concept of medha,”female wisdom.” (1.) She was a fount of the feminine art of healing, and her name was related to “medicine.”

(2.) She could restore the dead to life in her magic cauldron, as shown by the myth of Aeson, who was so restored. Pliny called Medea a Goddess whose magic arts could control the sun, moon, and stars. (3.)

She rode in a chariot drawn by serpents; it also had wings, to show that she ruled both earth and heaven. (4.)

According to Herodotus, Medea was the Great Goddess of all the Aryan tribes of Parthia. (5.) She was all-wise, and never died, but dwelt forever in heaven. (6.)

She seems to have been remembered in Ireland as the Goddess Medana, associated with a sacred tree and a regenerative well, whose waters were reputed to cure sore eyes. She was artificially canonized as a saint, and her Christian legend was copied from that of the equally bogus St. Lucy? (7.)

The classic story of Medea’s ill-starred marriage to Jason apparently was based on a captured idol of the Goddess. Her rites were imported into Greece but proved too sanguinary for Hellenic taste. {Play by Euripides.}

The Woman’s Encyclopedia of Myths and Secrets by Barara G. Walker. Pg. 628.

1. Larouse, 312. 2. Briffault 1, 486. 3. Hawkins, 139. 4. Graves, G.M. 2, 253.

5. Herodotus, 390. 6. Graves, G.M. 2, 252, 257. 7. Gifford, 131.

1. Larousse Encyclopedia of Mythology. London: Hamlyn Publishing Group
2. Briffault, Robert. The Mothers (3 Vols.) New York Macmillan, 1927
3. `Hawkins, Gerald S. Stonehenge Decoded. New York: Dell Publishing Co.
4. Graves, Robert. The White Goddess. New York: Vintage Books. 1958
5. Herodotus. The Histories (Henry Cary, trans) New York: Hawthorne
6. *Graves, Robert. The White Goddess. New York: Vintage Books. 1958
7. Gifford, Edward S. Jr. The Evil Eye. New York: Macmillan, 1958
8. Internet Archive: Digital Library of Free & Borrowable Texts, Movies, Music & Wayback Machine (Find some of the books above here for free viewing)
   • * Could Also so be Grave, Robert: The Greek Myths (2 Vols) New York: Penguin Books Inc. or Graves, Robert, and Patai, Raphael. Hebrew Myths, New York: Doubleday & Co.1964.

I find myself passionately reflecting on certain projects from long ago, reminiscent of the vibrant local pub that has been gone for at least ten years. The gifts of our punk scene continue to resonate, echoing the raw energy and innovation they once radiated. What was once fresh and bold now carries years of rich history and nostalgia. Happy Holidays!

Dianne Chai

The Alley Cats

Photo by Hudley Flipside at the Whiskey A GO GO. 1980s

Tape Eleven 11/10/84

Tape Eleven 11/10/84.

THE 10% EXPERIENCE.

A KISS IN THE WIND.

Once at the local pub a woman in her twenties looked over at me. She was talking to a friend, and I heard her say,

“I don’t know what the big deal is. That magazine came out over thirty years ago?”

She then looked over at me again. I looked back at her. I raised my shoulders and rolled my eyes as if to say,

“I know what you mean.”

This pub, the Scotland Yard in Canoga Park California, is considered a music pub. The founder Patrick Fairley (rip) was in Marmalade a 1960s Scottish pop rock band.

Here is a legendary line of DJs who just happened to play 1980s punk rock.

Punk rock is a unique genre and like jazz we all rejoice in the impressive sound of its originators. Going to the pub is kind of like going to church. The sociology of religion states that 90% of people going to church do so for social reasons. Only 10% go to have a religious experience. A pub is the same way. When you add some great music and beer this is the place to be to do the 90% thing or the 10 % thing.

As the spirituals gave birth to the Blues and then Jazz, so does it inspire the music we listen to today?

I don’t go to church anymore, but I do go to pubs. For me it is a 10% experience.

In the 1700s pubs often held meetings under the convert of drunks but in reality, it was the beginning of revolution.

It was about individuals who came together, who opposed the Church of England and their government. They sang their pub songs or hymns around the fireplace and hidden in these songs were the lyrics and tunes that inspired the people.

Punk rock can be like going to church and it can be a 90% social thing. To me it has always been about the 10% punk rock experience.

It is inspirational, thrilling and has the ability to awaken one to wild possibilities of hope and creativity as any good ‘old jazz song does.

Sharing these tapes is like sharing an old jazz tune or inspirational religious experience. It has its place in the continuity of the punk rock experience of 1984.

Track One Tape 11

Track Two Tape 11

Flipside Video was an out-of-control phenomenon. This is what I brought in from over the internet a few years ago. Videos without real narratives. I like to share real narratives. Some of you still have your originals. We at Flipside Video did a lot of work to bring this all together. Taping, editing, copying, designing art and video boxes and mail order. We did not make the big bucks, but it was the glowing truth behind DIY.

I am proud of what we accomplished. Now the patina shows … that is ok. We supported a scene we believed in. Right before technology hit the scene and changed the intimacy of what we as punks shared. That is what I hold onto that punk rock intimacy. I’ll say it again. That punk rock intimacy. I know a lot about that time and most of it is amplified in many of the original source materials we documented at Los Angeles Flipside Fanzine.

Click on Image to see the posts.

Hecate (or, The Night of Enitharmon’s Joy) is a color print from around 1795 that depicts the witch Hecate, who gives a notable monologue questioning why she manipulated Macbeth.

Enitharmon is a significant female character in William Blake’s mythology, representing female domination and sexual restraints that limit artistic imagination. She is the emanation of Los, one of the Four Zoas, and is associated with spiritual beauty and poetic inspiration. Enitharmon is depicted as a complex figure, embodying both the allure and repression of female sexuality, and she plays a crucial role in Blake’s prophetic works, including “Europe: A Prophecy”

“When a great moment knocks on the door of your life, it is often no louder than the beating of your heart, and it is very easy to miss it.”

~ Boris Pasternak

I get saturated with reading at times in my life. I am full of the alchemy of going through it all in my mind, soul, and heart. It takes time and even years.

Reading again is overwhelming to me. Ya know when you go deep down into the narrative. All the stories, words and archetypes move through me. However, it was a wonderful experience.

Over the past few weeks, I have concentrated on two books: one is a recent addition to my collection, while the other is an older volume that remained untouched for some time.

They have no relationship with each other. Yet the one did get me thinking about the Shadow. Working with our shadows is the best thing we can do for us and our world collective shadow.

“At times, the conscious observer in us stands back and says, “there but for the grace of God go I.” Jung used to say that we can be grateful for our enemies, for their darkness allows us to escape our own.”

~ Owning Your Own Shadow, Understanding the dark side of the psyche. By Robert A. Johnson. Page 37

Yet what amazed me are three tests of a good writer. If they engage with them, I know that my teachers are presently around too.

William Blake, Johann Wolfgang von Goethe and of course Dr. Jung. As Robert A Johnson refers to him. Out dear Carl Gustav Jung.

The first book was purchased a few months ago. It came up and I was pulled into buying it. I put it on a ledge near our internet modem. A few months it sat. Whispering to join in on the conversation. So, I did finally with joy. Anam Cara, A Book of Celtic Wisdom by John O’Donohue. And like clockwork my three teachers above are mentioned with wonderful quotes of theirs in his book.

“The wonderful subtle color of the universe arises to clothe everything. This is captured in a phrase from William Blake; “Colours are the wounds of light.” Colors bring out the depth of secret presence at the heart of nature.”

John O’Donohue, Page 2 Anam Cara, A Book of Celtic Wisdom

O’Donohue’s ideas made me think about light and shadow. Wondering and inspiring me to look up another book from years ago. There it was waiting patiently on my book shelve. I started reading it again. Recalling years ago when I read it and began distilling many things. And like clockwork one, two and three of my teachers are there with their insightful quotes.

I enjoy synchronicity reading; it’s delightful, though sometimes a bit overwhelming.

“No distance makes you ambivalent.

You come on wings, enchanted

In such hunger for light, you

Become the butterfly burnt to nothing.”

“Blessed Longing” by Goethe.

Here is the quote that brought me back to reading about the shadow from Robert A Johnson’s writing.

“The shadow also contains a great deal of energy, and it is the cornerstone of our vitality. A very cultured individual with an equally strong shadow has a great deal of power. William Blake spoke about the need to reconcile their two parts of the self. He said we should go to heaven for form and to hell for energy- and marry the two. When we can face our inner heaven and our inner hell, this is the highest form of creativity.”

Pg. 38

And another book sitting on my shelf comes to play a copy of The Marriage of Heaven and Hell by Blake. Illustrated Throughout in Full Colour.

“When I came home: on the abyss of the five senses, where a flat sided steep frowns over the present world, I saw a mighty Devil folded in black clouds, hovering on the sides of the rock, with corroding fires he wrote the following sentence now perceived by the minds of men, & read by them on earth;”

“How do you know but ev’ry Bird that cuts the airy way.

Is an immense world of delight, clos’d by your senses five?”

~ A Memorable Fancy, Plates 6-7, The Marriage of Heaven and Hell by William Blake

Yup my tirade is complete…

The Circle Jerks Hollywood Palladium (Keith’s,70th BDay) in September.

GBH at the Regent Theater in October.

The Saints at The Teragram Ballroom in November.

Is a gift of highest degree … don’t know if it can get better than this!

My magical musical bucket-list … I am sure many other fans here in Los Angeles California experienced the same! And beyond with our touring bands!

The Circlej Jerks September 2025

GBH October 2025

The Saints November 2025

My Tee-Shirt Challenge continues … DIY mythos happens anytime you are inspired, a fan and engage your unique creative endeavors.

You can buy mine or just fucking do it yourself!