Mavericks of Night Fever

Here comes one of those narrowing openings. A flash from my past. All initiated by a song. Youngest told oldest son to play some Bee Gees.  Oldest son was driving so he did. The song came on and while sitting in the back of the car it happened.

Lynn 1977. She took me to see Saturday Night Fever in Westwood, CA. The late night showing of the film. A long drive at night. We had the night fervor of youth and freedom flowing through our blood.  It was a fantastic time to be young.

Disco, new wave, rock and punk were merged tight as the proverbially creative spark upon the music scene unknown.

“Those who tune in with its powers will be mavericks who will drag us into the new era…” ~ Uranus the planet insight quote .

Lynn, She’s not there.

“we can meet Cain, Judas and Lucifer by being aware of our own desires to be false and to betray, to kill our brother and to kill ourselves, that our kiss has death in it and that there is a piece of the soul that will live forever cast out from both human and heavenly company”

~ Pg. 169 Praxis , James Hillman The Dream and the Underworld. 

2003 in the morning,

Lynn drove into the Wal-Mart parking lot.

She was driving a 1960 Pontiac convertible.

Sunglasses pulled back her dark hair.

A cigarette moved as she pulled it out of her mouth to talk.

Don Henley’s lyrics came to mind,

“But I can see you, your brown skin shining’ in the sun, you got your hair combed back and your sunglasses on, baby,”

Lynn’s image passed.

In Wal-Mart,

the Radio

daggered a song 

into my heart

by The Zombies.

She’s Not There,


Red: Heaven in Hell’s despair

Love seeketh not itself to please, nor for itself hath any care, but for another gives its ease, and builds a Heaven in Hell’s despair.

~ William Blake

The colors became dark. The night air and clubs filled with dark colors and darker tattoos. She remembered when bright colors expressed the vibrant nights in contrast to the dark nights and loud music. To bring the bright colors back was a problem for her.

Bright lipstick and red pants. The joy of watercolors on paper brought the essence of the flowers to life. Why not on her round body, green, purple, and red were the colors she wanted to wear!

She would put the colorful colors of clothing on her body before going out, but at the last-minute took them all off, slipping into her dark cloths again. She put on her old ripped and torn clothing to blend into the crowd. She was hiding her light and cravings for color.

Her friend told her once,

“don’t be afraid to show yourself, and don’t care what anyone thinks…it is you that you have got to please!!”

Tonight, is the night she wore her red pants, black shoes with open toes and a black shirt with a bright red logo. She put the red lipstick on her pale lips.

Another friend told her once to wear lipstick.

“Wear lipstick no matter what. You can get away with skipping all the other makeup, but lipstick is a must. It brings color to your face, and it makes you look finished.”

The night was dark, but her red pants, lips and band-logo were anything but!!

Lynn’s lycanthropy biting at our heels

Even a man who is pure in heart and says his prayers by night, may become a wolf when the wolf-bane blooms, and the autumn moon is bright.

I love this time of the year… moving into it like a wild cloak of wonder; Crones, screams and laughter; cinnamon, chills and the first full moon of Autumn in the wilds of October. I also honor Lynn now… this is her time.

You’ve done terrible things… be strong.

The dark, Halloween and the shadow… here we go again. My best friend, who died five years ago, was my champion of scary and forbidden places. She was a true wild and free soul and lived life by the seat of her pants. Lynn never could break the mold of her youthful lust for life. Even love could not bind her beyond her desire for a type of youthful fulfillment. This time of the year was our time. We ran with the blaspheme of the night with lycanthropy biting at our heels.

Me and Lynn 1980
Me and Lynn in that order 1980

My mind now circles with Ouija boards, and horror stories and of the film Suspiria.

She led me to depths… depths I dare not always follow! It is hard to understand that Lynn is gone from me now!

She sometimes stands beyond the darkness. At such altered times I catch her memory…the few breaths between twilight and darkness. I feel a longing pain, a need to run with her by way of the hills of our youth. Ah… but she is free now of this aging of these memories…

Many years I have celebrated the first full moon of Autumn in October with this song…until I die…!!