Face towards the sunshine

Two off-beat women executed. They both managed to live a coarse life remarkable parallel.

“Keep your face always toward the sunshine – and shadows will fall behind you.”

― Walt Whitman

Barbara Graham

Aileen Wuornos

Shunned by society, prostitution to survive and hanging with the wrong types of men! Men who took advantage of their beauty, poverty and hot desperation.

The kind of real life Noir that gets your blood boiling. They did not need to be killed. They were falsely executed.

They were victims of a dark world. Trapped in it. A justice system intrinsically evil which profoundly betrayed them both.

Money and profits from films … was it really to tell their story? I hope so.

I want to live: Actress Susan Hayward

Barbara Graham (June 26, 1923 – June 3, 1955) was an American criminal convicted of murder. She was executed in the gas chamber on the same day as two convicted accomplices, Jack Santo and Emmett Perkins, all of whom were involved in the robbery that led to murder of an elderly widow. Nicknamed “Bloody Babs” by the press, Graham was the third woman in California to be executed by gas.^[1]

Her story of adult criminal activity is told in the 1958 film I Want to Live!, in which she was portrayed by Susan Hayward, who won the Academy Award for Best Actress for her performance as Graham.

MONSTER : Actress Charlize Theron

Aileen Wuornos was born on February 29, 1956 in Rochester, Michigan, USA as Aileen Carol Pittman. She was married to Lewis Gratz Fell. She died on October 9, 2002 in Florida State Prison, Starke, Florida, USA

Wuornos was brought into the death chamber on October 9, 2002. She had Kentucky Fried Chicken and French fries as her last meal and was given a $20 budget. Her last words before the execution were,

“Yes, I would just like to say I’m sailing with the rock, and I’ll be back, like Independence Day with Jesus. June 6, like the movie. Big mother ship and all, I’ll be back, I’ll be back.”

[1] At 9:47 a.m. EDT, Aileen Wuornos died.

She was the tenth woman in the United States to be executed since the Supreme Court lift its ban on capital punishment in 1976, and the second woman ever executed in Florida.

Barbara Graham loved her Jazz

Aileen’s favorite song…

A punkytale

A punkytale as oral tradition as bards of old

Rockin’ in my rockin’ chair
Rockin’ in my rockin’ dreams
We all are elder punks now
The first of the punk rockers
A youthful explosion…

March 28, 2018

The Dream Last Night

The dream was long but what I remember is we had a big back yard. In the back yard were big beautiful old trees. So big that artists would come to visit so they could sit under the trees. They’d sit under the shade of the old trees and make art. They enjoyed the big trees.

Two people I knew came to visit us. Two old friends I knew in my rebellious youth when I had a punk fanzine. Band members I championed as we grew from youth to adulthood. First was Mike Palm.

He was sleeping under one of the trees. I saw him there. Next son said that another one came to the door. He went back to the big trees. He told son he knew me. Son let him in and he went to the trees. He had his painting art supplies and a sleeping bad rolled up behind him. I went back and saw that it was Mike Ness .

He smiled warmly at me. I felt all those friendship, close, intimate feelings come back to my heart. The feelings of loyalty and belonging to something bigger than ourselves. He was fine. So, I left him alone under one of the old trees. In the house I made him a sandwich. We always made sandwiches for our art guests.

Dreams like this hurt me. I still somehow feel connected to these punk charmers of my youth. They made a big impression on me. I still love them both so much. Though our lives are not intermingled as they once were. They are still beholding to me. They hold value in myself, my psyche. It is nice when they come to visit, even if only in my dreams.

I wonder if they ever find my face smiling up at them in their elder punk dreams. I hope so… somehow there is still a heartfelt remembrance and shared values from our youthful rebellious days. Long gone by days…which we will always share together.

purity and integrity

The Good Kitty Dudea (RIP)

I wish I had a great shield to protect the youth of today. To shield them from the criticism and betrayal they will face now! All that they are standing tall for, which is just, honest, and good. The same type of purity and integrity that moved me as a youth. It still moves me as a senior. The same passion and talent. The same need for change. It is a time to choose. It is always a time to choose an altered life.

“Good Spirit,” he pursued, as down upon the ground he fell before it: “Your nature intercedes for me and pities me. Assure me that I yet may change these shadows you have shown me, by an altered life!”

~ (4.162) ~ A Christmas Carol

I know what it is to stand up for the same things. I also know what it is like to be brought down as well. Integrity stands tall with a large shadow that fights it. The best, the average, and the confused youths will have to deal with this shadow.

As Robert Mueller seems to do. He turns his back to the media gossip of barking betrayal and shadows of criticism. Do not swallow this. The lies that will come your way. They will try to get you to believe their lies.

All I can say is to remember, it is not your fault. Keep the youthful horn of rebellion blowing. Remember it is not your fault. You are brave and noble creatures.

Two old couches…

Life is about change. Old things die away, new things break into the world. I just wanted to hold on to this memory of two family couches that we got as hand me downs from Marge and Fred. Thank you, we love you and you are both still in our memories.

Neighbors’ blooms under California rain 2018

It was about 11 years ago when Marge passed away, it was on the day of the Mardi Gras. Her things ended up being sold and given away. We were given one of her many couches. A rustic beige couch with embroidery running all over it and white lines moving over it. I sat on it a few times at her home in Tarzana California. She lived in the hills next to Edgar Rice Burroughs’s Gazebo where the character Tarzan was created. There was a time when the hills of the San Fernando Valley were once sparsely populated. One might reflect upon nature and come up with all kind of stories to tell.

The couch was originally bought for a trailer. Marge was then married to Fred Ahern. He was an American filmmaker and worked with Alfred Hitchcock and Quinn Martin. Fred and Marge originally purchased two couches for a trailer in the desert. Bullhead city Arizona. Marge did not like living there so they moved it back to the home in the Tarzana hills. They were both my husband’s grandparents. Marge was his maternal grandmother. She married Fred after my husband was born. He remembers when they purchased the two couches.

Fred was a good man and always treated my husband as his own grandson. Today we are letting go of the hand me down couches. The couches supported our two sons and us for about 11 years. Fun years. Colorful years with a room full of young boys, gamers, and sleepovers. The couch has been a good best friend. I say couch but there are two. A long couch and a love seat couch.

When we first put the couches in our home they smelled dusty. Now they are covered with hippy colored blankets, my mom’s knit and crocheted blankets and a hand full of cats, books, and laptops. Right now, youngest son is asleep upon the love seat. I think he is feeling a need to be close to it now. It will be gone soon. He does not usually sleep on it like this.

Today is the day we will put the couches outside for bulky item pick up. I never meet Fred but somehow, he has been close to us the last few years by way of a couch he purchased. I think my husband feels a closeness to the couches. It is not until this morning that I realized this. The sadness and grief of loss is always a sober wake-up call… yes always. Two couches are a connection to my husband’s past. It holds memories and moments before I entered his world.

We purchased two new couches last week. Today is delivery day. Marge and Fred’s couches are going away forever. The couches will be rained upon today.

We named our first son partly after Fred. When the hospital nurse handed me a document to sign for his birth certificate, I surprised my husband by sneaking in the Fred in Johnfred. I was completely in a ‘after giving birth’ trance I guess. I am glad I did it!

Football kitty is not letting go of her couch as a little Bodhisattva might naturally do!?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frederick_Ahern

A dream sets the pace of the day…

“One can beg, buy, be presented with and find love in the streets, but it can never be stolen.”
― Hermann Hesse, Siddhartha

https://hudleyflipside.com/meet-the-flopside-family/

Nicole Wegner : PARALLEL PLANES – A DOCUMENTARY ESSAY ABOUT INDEPENDENCE AND MUSIC

“This film pays homage to the American DIY spirit and the diversity of the US musical landscape outside the commercial music industry. While many other music films never make it beyond hero worship, director Nicole Wegner consistently maintains eye level with her twelve interview partners,…”

Director: Nicole Wegner
Year: 2017
Duration: 100
 Language: English

http://syndicado.com/menu/parallel-planes/

ARTISTS & BANDS

“Minor Threat skateboard fun” video in this film “Parallel Planes”.

~ Los Angeles Flipside Fanzine : Flipside Video, Courtesy of Hudley Flipside,

Ides Of March

We ran over the hill

in the rain

green grass suddenly

tripping our climb.

Laughing as we were

rolling over each other

happy to be.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/suddenly/

St. Pancras

via St Pancras

Sedna’s Signature

Sedna’s Signature Great Ocean Mother,
I call upon you to grace my shores.
I make myself as still as sand,
who knows the patience of millennia,
having been ground down to my essential parts.
I wait my turn at the edge of known things
that you might soak me with your rising swell.
I wish for nothing but to be dislodged by your power
perhaps even carried into your depths for the chance
at a glimpse of your underlie.
May I be taken into your possession,
even for a moment, to know the absence of my gravity
and participation in your rhythms and contractions.
May my body be for what it was intended:
an expression of your grace.
And what small ways I make with this poetry —
what songs and friendships I form — what migrations
and ripples I disturb in the world —
may they have something of your signature on them.
May the you that has touched me go on multiplying
in your phenomenal mathematics until we are all suffused
with awe at your vastness within us.

~Turner, Toko-pa. Belonging: Remembering Ourselves home (Kindle Locations 1498-1505). Her Own Room Press. Kindle Edition

Astrology Astronomy

“There is…a curious synchronicity between the time when the planet is discovered and the emergence in society of values and experiences which the planet represents symbolically. It is as though the planet breaks upon consciousness in both a literal and symbolic way. I cannot really answer you as to why Uranus is called Uranus [Prometheus] and Neptune, Neptune. I can only say that in some mysterious fashion they get the names right.”

Source Below…

From 1865 through till 1966 Sedna traveled through Aries. This hundred-year period saw the emancipation of women around the world, beginning with the forming of the suffragist movement and ending with the bra burning women’s libbers of the sixties.

This seems an appropriate illustration of the collective influence that Sedna has. (Remember as a goddess in the myth, she cared for her people as a collective.)

In 1966 Sedna gradually made her way into Taurus, where she remains today. So, what can Sedna in Taurus hold for the collective influence of humanity?

Taurus governs things that we value, to my thinking it is likely that our values will change and become increasingly orientated towards spiritual considerations during the next hundred years.

http://www.goddessgift.com/goddess-myths/inuit-goddess-Sedna.htm

https://cosmicintelligenceagency.com/5dastrology-6/

http://goodvibeastrology.com/sedna/

A Gift from Saturn

As Saturn moves from Pisces to Aries,

They say Saturn leaves us gifts…

This poem is an active imagination I had a few years back.

The inner world of a writer

often goes deep.

Into the world of our psyches.

We also reach high into the sky.

As we watch the Pleiades and Orion’s Belt

above us these winter nights.

As we walk our magical walks.

This is only one gift I remember well,

Many more gifts since.

We all need Saturn’s gifts.

Brightening our days.

I hope you find yours too!

I am leaning Saturn’s

Continuance.

Winged centaur

Invisible sounding hooves

Upon the backyard cement.

Lifted me upon his back

We flew through

The rain, clouds, and satellites

Rounding the earth.

Straight and fast towards

Saturn’s castle

He is to give me a gift.

I have waited upon the words

Of Buffalo yesterday and today.

“Today Saturn will give

You a gift… today today!”

I waited and wondered

Tonight, as I watch the hearth fire

I heard the call towards Saturn

As before …

I rode over frozen land

Blue ice and white paths

Overall, we flew

centaur’s wings outstretched

Gracefully I slip off the centaur.

I walked towards the big door

Dark but when opened

Filled with light and beings

Those who lived there

Those who were visiting like me.

An earthling’s visits are often short

Saturn, I found

Up the golden spiral staircase.

Waiting with a smile

And comfortable charm.

Saturn gave me a gift

A green box

Asking me

Not to open it now.

Wait until I am home

And place it over the fire

On your hearth,

The gift will reveal

Itself to you.

My journey home was fast

I made a space upon my hearth

Above the fire

Then turning to look out the window.

The wet outdoors

From a cold rain

Found me hoping

For a drop of cymene.

Of the ascending centaur

Glissading and glistening

Away from my soul through the rain

Under a full peeking moon.

Saturn told me

To write a poem about the green box

A gift from him

And so, I have.

This is who I am. An Artist’s CV

I got the riding on a swing feeling in my belly! March is here, we are waiting for a rain storm.

Reflecting over the last six years and after 1,000 posts I have come to realize what The Seminary of Praying Mantis is all about. I can break my blog into four parts; Humor, spirituality, punk rock, and free fall.

I do embrace the creative shadow archetype. I like to make humor of culture and politics. For me it is the third path of satire. I do not shy off from it being considered stupid.

I am naturally a spiritual person. I have become more comfortable with sharing this about myself. My favorite books are biographies. So why not share my story.

Humor and honest nastiness is part of my Flopside Comics. Also, in The Daily “FUCK” Gazette and Flopside Bubble Gum comics one can find the absurd. I do admit defeat now and then when it comes to current events.

Punk Rock has cursed me. When I try to escape it, it always finds me. So, I now embrace it as part of my rebellious character. I love to share my history and stay current as shown in my ‘do it yourself ‘ projects.

I like intimacy. friendships and the integrity that comes with the core punk rock experience. I don’t do the festival punk thing.

That is way more profitable for the bands. I can dig that. If one of the many bands, I’ve known. wants to take one of my Punk@lullaby journals and help promote my work that is cool by me. Kind of like we use to do for them with Los Angeles Flipside Fanzine.

My free fall is a merger of all the three parts including my art and poetry. I must create. It is a calling that I cannot ignore. I promote my own work and have true friends help me along the way.

One of my happiest days …

S.W. Lauden, Hudley and Danny Gardner at

“Poems, Songs & Stories-A Literary Lounge by the LA River”,

on September 10th 2017.

A great day !

The Frog Spot photo by Michelene Cherie.

Now to move on to a current event. I like reading Steve Forests’ writings on astrology. His latest post is on Mars, Mars out of bounds !!

You may not believe in the stars but even if you don’t he takes an honest look at what it is to be a male or female this month. A very good read.

https://www.forrestastrology.com/blogs/astrology/mars-out-of-bounds-march-2018

Mars the Androgyne

Androgyny or the hermaphrodite archetype is part of my perspective on what it is to be a human being. Honesty and integrity are how I frame my world. It sometimes leads me down a confronting and angry dark path. Yet at age 60 I think I can be of service to others by doing my good work. I am walking a new path back to university.

I am interested on where this will take me. Will I be accepted for who I am? I want to help others. I may become distant here blogging? I may change my posts favoring one over the other? I will be more discerningly present !

Make Mine Mink

Hattie Jacques as Nanette “Nan” Parry

Therefore, I am sharing the insides of my Flopside comic here. It makes me laugh. Hopefully bringing some adult toilet paper humor upon a heartless subject in current politics. The original Flopside Bubble Gum comic was published as Mr. Trump grappled a hostile takeover of our poor whimpering white house. How it has changed!!

Mr. Fuck the wild card the androgyny person. He is the “satellite of love”. He can help all men and women….with pink hat and hard on. I love the androgynous!