Cimaruta and Rue

No truth so sublime but it may be seen to be trivial to-morrow in the light of new thoughts.— Ralph Waldo Emerson

My Rue plant.

Magic courts us and surprises us sometimes.

A place where it comes into your life.

When the time is ripe.

A past life comes a calling.’

When an old myth advances her head?

As it did for me

Materializing history and beauty

In my home

My oasis.

I was studying the idea or symbol of a key. I had a dream where Saturn gave me a key to study. It took me on a real-life journey of study. Books, myths, histories, and ChatGPT. All the older and modern tools of education, information, reflection, and human discernment.

Ancient design based on the Rue Plant.

Forming ideas and written words in my soul, mind, and feelings.

I came upon a charm with a key on it. It is called a Cimaruta.

I ordered a book and then the necklace. The day the book came I was out with the cats in my backyard. It was a moist morning with some intense clouds in the sky. I looked up over my home due west. I saw a perfect thunder bolt come down from the sky. It was amazing.

Then within a few hours the book arrived. While reading I looked outside and saw the strangest thing. Black kittens coming down from the back fence. Four black kittens and two black acting mothers. They have since adopted us.

Wild like the wind they are. Yet we do make love eyes.

I call them my Rues, standing at the Threshold.

“Beginnings are always delightful; the threshold is the place to pause.”

~ Goethe

The story of these black cats is years ago someone abandoned a mother cat and her babies. I have seen them roaming the neighborhood now and then. Yet we were not close, and they rarely came to my yard.

It seems as if now since I received this charm, it has become a part of their and my mythology, intertwining our stories in a way that feels both profound and magical. This charm carries with it whispers of ancient tales and forgotten secrets, reflecting not just my own experiences but also the shared narratives of those before me. I believe more than this too; it serves as a tangible connection to the past, a reminder of the bonds we forge through belief and the powerful symbols that shape our lives. Each time I touch it, I feel the weight of history and the possibility of new adventures, inspiring a deep sense of purpose that transcends the ordinary.

Receiving this Cimaruta—a potent Italian folk charm is a wonder to me. It is associated with protection, feminine power, and magic. To get it on the same day as the black feral cats indicates a notable synchronistic alignment. It appears that the forces invoked by the Cimaruta were making their presence known.

The key on a Cimaruta has been associated with unlocking mysteries, revealing truths, or opening portals to hidden knowledge, particularly knowledge related to lunar or feminine symbolism. It may also be interpreted as representing a threshold, suggesting that something in one’s life may need to be opened, entered, or addressed.

“I embrace the ancient crossroads,

Sacred throughout all time,

And the teachings there once told,

I claim and now make mine.

I hear the call of light,

That dissolves the dark of night,

Phantoms flee with harm’s intent,

From rays of light like arrows sent.

~ Page 43. The Cimaruta and Other Magical Charms from old Italy. By Raven Grimassi

Once while outside before they ran away. The two mothers and four kitties were there before me. The kittens four were formed into a perfect mandala. Weaved together with four faces looking up at me. The sweetest thing I ever saw. I will try to catch my mind’s image in a watercolor painting,

A reflection on a song

A reflection on a song, but more of a motif of how I feel about many songs that once inspired me to something beyond myself, a punk scene.

Gotta Gettaway

Song by Stiff Little Fingers

Gotta gotta gettaway, gotta gotta gettaway

You know there ain’t no street like home

To make you feel so all alone

Plenty of folk to tell you what to do

But they don’t speak the same language as you

()

They wanna have me here

Have me and hold me near

Hold me down fasten and tie

But the cars are all flashing me

Bright lights are passing me

I feel life passing me by

The fuss is buzzing in my head

My father argued and my mother begged

It’s not their words ain’t tugging at me

But gotta stretch them break them get myself free

()

Gotta gotta gettaway, gotta gotta gettaway

I’m leaving home

Funny Stiff Little Fingers played in Los Angeles. In the past I would have done about anything to be there. As a long-time fan who loves their songs.

Yet today out in my lovely garden filled with beautiful tubular purple blossoms, Dionysian Hollyhocks, Excited Jasmine and more, I realized the lyrics don’t appeal to my nature anymore.

I no longer need to “get myself Free.”

“But the cars are all flashing me

Bright lights are passing me

I feel life passing me by,” are not my concern anymore.

“You know there ain’t no street like home

To make you feel so all alone.”

This is in direct opposition to how I feel now.

Because now ‘my street and my home’ is the place where I do not feel alone.

Because being alone or by myself is where I find myself… happy.

I reflect, create, and have made a home that is loving and where I am loved.

This rebellious song of my youth does not hold up for me now.

So, I still love the bands, my youthful rebellion but I am not the young punk anymore. Oh, ya that little punk chick comes out to claim her identity now and then. What a bitch.

Yet a lot of what I hated then I have learned to love now.

Because my home speaks the same language as I do!

I guess I have struggled with this for some time. This time of the year when all the festivals crescendo all over the place… sure once in awhile I will go out… but I now I feel so alone there. The punk scene is not a place to find friends, myself, or wholeness anymore.

For me there is no place like my home.

I love my home.

It is my bliss.

The Gift of Magic

No one can really possess a symbolic object since the prime function of symbolism is not accumulation and retention, but communication by way of exchange.

~ de Riencourt, Amaury. Woman and Power in History .

~ Honeyglen Publishing Limited. Kindle Edition.

A reading and understanding from both of Carl Jung’s Red and Black Books…

A journey after reading a random pick from Jung’s Black Books. During these disturbing times I often seek council with these living books of wonder.

While reaching from Jung’s Red Book a note fell to the ground and it said,

“The Gift of Magic.”

I was following through with Jung’s commentary after reading his Black Book. I was amazed by the depth of the commentary which is about Magic.

I am surprised by the beauty of these living books. I started to read all the commentary pertaining to this random subject in his Red Book. It is a story which answered many things for me while also somehow including my life. Reading the references and commentary is the best.

Jung Black Books: Random pick of paragraph from [v.4]

S. Are you sending me away?

I. I’m sending you away. You must not be far from me. But give to me out of your fullness, not your longing.

I cannot satisfy your poverty just as you cannot still my longing. If your harvest is rich, send me some fruit from your garden. If you suffer from abundance, I will drink from the brimming horn of your joy.

I know that will be a balm for me. I can satisfy myself only at the table of the satisfied, not the meager crumbs of those who yearn and desire. I will not steal my payment.

– Pg. 253 [v.4] (126/127).

126. The subject of this sentence was replaced by “We fetched.” (ibid)

127. For Jung’s commentary on this entry, see LN {Red Book},

pg. 439-40.

Red Book.

“Well, all you will do is laugh anyway. So why should I tell you anything? It would be if everything were buried with me. It can always be rediscovered later. It will never be lost to humanity since magic is reborn with each and every one of us.”

– Pg. 313

“You know, the wisdom of things to come; there fore you are old, oh so very ancient, and just as you tower above me in years, so you tower above the present in futurity and the length of your past is immeasurable. You are legendary and unreachable. You were and will be, returning periodically.

Your wisdom is invisible, your truth is unknowable, entirely untrue in any given age and yet true in all eternity, but you pour out living waters from which the flowers of your garden bloom, a starry water, a dew of the night.

– 148/149 pg. 316

“What do you need. You need men for the sake of small things, since everything greater and the greatest thing is in you. Christ spoiled men, since he taught them that they can be saved only by one, named him, the Son of God, and ever since men have been demanding the greater things from others, especially their salvation; and if a sheep gets lost somewhere, it accuses the shepherd. You are a man, and you prove that men are not sheep, since you look after the greatest in yourself and hence fructifying water-flows into you garden from inexhaustibly jugs.”

Anima and animus

I am always mindful of this equation within myself. Since often the anima and animus are interchangeable within a man or woman. Jung is a man and I am a woman… this activity of randomness is part of my animus work. This is how I collaborate with the male within me… and by the merging of opposites, as the male in me with the female that I am.

I will continue to study this yet this is enough for now.

In search of Cat food

“But, suddenly, I viddied that thinking was for the gloopy ones and that the oomny ones use like inspiration and what Bog sends; for now it was lovely music that came to my aid. There was a window open with a stereo on, and I viddied right at once what to do…”

~ Alex: A Clockwork Orange, Book Anthony Burgess; Film Stanley Kubrick

You know how picky kitties are. So, I have been unlucky. Maybe a small box here and there. Cleaning up kitty barf is often a strong biological rebellion that lets me know something is wrong with the food. Bravely I am stepping out of my cave to places I have avoided … Smart & Final off Milton is one such place.

And though I noticed they no longer play songs over their PA… Today I had a strange experience! Yes, a strange note or two of weird synchronicities. Usually happening at times when one is drifting, like me! It is throwing an anchor down time, similar to editing, anchoring a graphic image on Adobe Premiere Pro. Animation, motion, and a focus in.

And then it came like the big bright bird of pure crystal roundabout meaning. Moments of a song burst loudly over Smart & Final’s PA. A moment that brings my ears, heart, and lips a humming.

“Let the stormy clouds chase.

Everyone from the place

Come on with the rain

I’ve a smile on my face!”

Yes, that song from the film A Clockwork Orange anchored me from drifting. Aligning me with my opus again.

Then silence, only the clatters of the supermarket’s mundane sounds of customers shopping.

Singing In the Rain was the one song that changed my life years ago … how is this possible to hear it for only a moment today as I randomly searched for Friskies Seafood Sensations Adult Cat Dry Food, with Vitamins?

Then at 19 and now at 64… “for now it was lovely music that came to my aid.”

A wake-up call.

Praying Mantis Opus.

Chris Bailey’s psychic being is still very strong

Nov 29, 1956 to April 9, 2022.

“A gentleman with the mad soul of an Irish convict poet’: remembering Chris Bailey, and the blazing comet that was The Saints.”

~John Willsteed

“the world beyond, where men are whole and complete, unlike here. The saint’s halo also characterizes his transcendent shining light, his psychic being.”

Rendering of the band The Saints. Hudley Flipside, 2010.

Happy I bought tickets to see the reformed Saitns this November in Southern California. Autumn 2025.

The author reflects on their deep connection to the band The Saints, particularly after the death of Chris Bailey. They express grief for both Bailey and the passage of time over the decades.

The band has been a part of their life journey, leading to discovering a sense of belonging among misfits and a punk community. The author connects their experiences with Bailey’s life timeline, moving from youth to adulthood.

In their grief, they turn to the works of Carl Jung for solace, recalling insights from The Black Books.

I call it random reading. I read from the last paragraph, allowing my mind to wander freely within the words. The intuitive response is amazing to me, as each reading seems to unearth memories and thoughts I had long buried.

Encouraging action also flows from this process, inspiring me to take bold steps forward. So, with this so much is shared, whether it’s with friends or in solitude, and I am content to move on past my grief, cherishing the lessons learned along the way.

Into a new season of life, knowing that, life endures and blossoms in unexpected ways… this gives me hope like finding the Sun, illuminating the path ahead and igniting a renewed sense of purpose within me!

“In this moment the enormous tension was released and like rain it swept away [57/58] everything that was tensed, too highly strung. And soon sleep returned and brought with it a curiously beautiful image.” {138}

(p.162) The Black Books, Volume Two, Carl Jung

“Forms walked clad in white silk in a colored atmosphere. Each surrounded by a strangely fragrant, glowing tinted aura, some reddish, the others blueish and greenish.” {139}

{138} “This paragraph was replaced in LN by “Then I had a second vision.”

Picture.. reversed. Picture by Judi Dransfield Kuepper.

Chris Bailey “a curiously beautiful image”

The Saints (Barry Francis, Ivor Hay, Janine Hall, Bruce Callaway, Chris Bailey) at The Hero of Waterloo, Sydney. 1980. Picture by Judi Dransfield Kuepper. Image taken from an article by John Willsteed. Link Below.

https://theconversation.com/a-gentleman-with-the-mad-soul-of-an-irish-convict-poet-remembering-chris-bailey-and-the-blazing-comet-that-was-the-saints-181059?fbclid=IwAR3o-g8RRKpyNxgIQ6x7QsihP9fTBaDqaBZhzozuQI0oHlaWVenjLWeZ_F8

“Jung recounted this dream to Aniela Jaffé and commented upon it as follow: This is some kind of in-between realm (the term definitely occurs in the original version of the dream) The idea was that if one is confronted with the shadow- as was the case through the experience of Siegfried’s dream then the idea comes:

I enter into a twilight: I am this and yet also something else. And this doubleness an abdication of the unconscious, which reached strangely far beyond me.

Like a saint’s halo- This has a strange effect on the attitude toward the human being.

If one is in the company of several persons, and one knows them and knows about their shadows, one then sees these people as they are, but are also something entirely different. They are surrounded by a strange sphere.

They live in a strange, light-colored sphere, which circumscribes their ‘other’ state. This seemed to me to be like a vision of the world beyond, where men are whole and complete, unlike here. The saint’s halo also characterizes his transcendent shining light, his psychic being.”

{139} (MP, p. 170)

The reminder of this entry was replaced in LN by “I know, I have stridden across the depths. Through guilt I have become newborn.” (p.162) Carl Jung’s Black Books. Volume two page 175-6.

Siegfried’s dream http://mlwi.magix.net/siegfried.htm https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Books_(Jung)

The Forgotten Room

Something’s a foot and I am not talking a rabbit charm!

I am on a journey with Rabbit or Hare. She appeared last night on the kitchen table. A large shadow in her shape.

“Light in the darkness, concealed wisdom, arcane information, intuition and the Goddess”
~ The Element Encyclopedia of Secret Signs and Symbols / Adele Nozedar

Earlier, I remember looking up into the night sky to see the Pleiades above the house. I saw the waxing crescent in place blocking me from seeing the seven sisters. I looked again to see a night star next to the moon. It was not a planet. I checked my sky map. The brilliance with a foggy haze made the night seem altered in some mystical way.

So close to Easter I am a little amazed Hare came to visit. I cleaned my kitchen table off and put up my happy bunny on the table. I will make this Hare’s place! Honoring the presence of this shape shifting, sometime androgynous, multiple symbolic and multi-geophysical spirit.

Three Hares joined at the ears and running in a circle. terriwindling.com

I am waiting to see what story she is sharing with me. A newness, a new awareness comes forth. This is good news.

A note!!! I had a picture with my kitty and a Easter Lily . I took it down and got rid of the flower . I did not know !

“All parts of the Easter lily plant are poisonous – the petals, the leaves, the stem and even the pollen. Cats that ingest as few as one or two leaves, or even a small amount of pollen while grooming their fur, can suffer severe kidney failure.” I did not know ? Never had an issue but out it goes.

Eleusinian and Dionysian Mysteries

http://etherealis.life/philosophy/vision-at-eleusis-greek-mystery-religions/

“There is a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in..” ~Leonard Cohen.

Just wanted to reflect on this! I was talking with a friend about the drink “Kykeon” that is contained in the Kantharos bowl or large cup. Which contained “mainly of water, barley, and naturally occurring substances… wine, goat cheese or even pennyroyal! A psychoactive compounded brew.”

`Eleusis by Carl Kerenyl, 1967

Butterfly Crone Mantis.

Crone Mantis Watercolor by Hudley

“The butterfly teaches us to not be afraid of change and transformation for, as warm and fuzzy as a caterpillar may be, it is the butterfly that lives fully and beautifully after having endured the fear and darkness of the unknown to reach the light outside the cocoon.”

~ Pg. 178, SUN BEAR.

Sharing and setting limitations.

I had two dreams last night where my animus was most distinctly attracting my curiosity. I was offered delicious food which I did not have to go shopping for or cook. Then in another dream I was kissed on the neck and lips gently as in some film noir by a man who looked like Tyrone Power. My animus, the unconscious masculine side of a woman, was asking for attention.

I am listening!

Then awake from the dream world enjoying the morning, I was outside with the cats in my garden. A lovely butterfly came with the usual circle dance up to me from the west. I was focused on the symbol of spring as were my cats. Thinking it was a bit early for such a transformation to happen.

I went back into my cave and did research.

I pulled out two books; The Once & Future Goddess, A Symbol For Our Time by Elinor W. Gandon (1989) and Dancing with the Wheel The Medicine Wheel, Workbook by SUNBEAR (1991).

As always, I learned new things about art, nature and being in tune with a moments time of learning, is so important, synchronicity wise.

“Raven writes about what a courageous act of self-exposure it is for a woman to positively identify herself with her work and say something that challenges the existing and prevailing worldview. When she expresses herself without the support of a social, economic, and cultural base she has not participated in the mainstream of the culture. “The culture does not operate from her perspective. Her contribution has neither spoken to it, nor been understood by that system,” which is just what happened to Judy Chicago…

An energetic, assertive woman freely in touch with her own sexuality, and working directly from the erotic power, Chicago evolved an abstract form, the butterfly-vagina. This symbol was to become the core of her new iconography in The Dinner party, a monumental and complex work of art that is often misunderstood…

“The idea is obviously not to reduce all women to cunts, as society itself often does. [Chicago] sees the butterfly as metaphysical references to the whole issue of that it means to be ‘feminine,’ how that word reveals the slant in our values and how those values can be challenged by using the vernacular imagery of the female, ‘I was struggling with the issue of making the feminine holy.’ ”

Pg. 322 The RE-EMERGENCE OF THE GODDESS: A SYMBOL OF OUR TIME.

Arlene Raven (Arlene Rubin: July 12, 1944, Baltimore, Maryland – August 1, 2006, Brooklyn, New York) was a feminist art historian, author, critic, educator, and curator. Raven was a co-founder of numerous feminist art organizations in Los Angeles in the 1970s.

Ophiuchus

Ophiuchus (November 30 – December 18^th) 13th constellation

Click on image to order a Tee-shirt or more fun stuff…. lets celebrate this amazing fellow.

Chiron is a comet, planetoid, or asteroid which is the ruling planet of the zodiac sign Ophiuchus. It is found orbiting between Saturn and Uranus, but its orbit is quite erratic nature.

Asclepius Trained by Chiron.

Rod of Asclepius, staff of Asclepius

The Serpent – entwined Rod (One)

Ophiuchus (November 30 – December 18^th) 13th constellation. Even today, the staff of Asclepius – the symbol of the world health organization pays tribute to the constellation Ophiuchus the Serpent Bearer.

In Mythology:

Ophiuchus was associated with Asclepius, the son of the God Apollo. He became a great healer – in part because of an encounter with a snake one day, he saw one snake and resurrected another laying some herbs on it. Zeus names him the serpent bearer.

Chiron:

As she (Koronis (coronis)) was being consumed on her funeral pyre, he (Apollon) snatched her baby (Asklepios, Asclepius) from the fire and took him to the Kentaros. Kheiron (Centaur Chiron) who was raised by him, taught him medicine, and hunting.

Sweet note: Some mistake the Caduceus two snakes and wings above with the one snake on the Rod. It is different. The Caduceus is associated with Mercury and Hermes Trismegistus.

Lyrics

There’s great danger (danger)
For the loneliest ranger in town
No silver bullets (bullets)
Tonto’s split the scene

Next week will solve your problems
But now, fish fingers all in a line
The milk bottles stand empty
Stay glued to your TV set (TV)

There’s great danger (danger)
At hand most caped crusader of all
No cloak of justice (justice)
Robin’s quit the scene

Next week will solve your problems
But now, fish fingers all in a line
The milk bottles stand empty
Stay glued to your TV set (TV)

Stay glued to your TV set
(TV) Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
(TV) Stay glued to your TV set
(TV) Oh, why, don’t ya, don’t ya, don’t ya?
(TV) Stay glued to your TV set (TV)
(TV) Stay glued to your TV set
(TV) Oh, why, don’t ya, don’t ya, don’t ya?
(TV) Stay glued to that and your TV set (TV)

open to mama’s influence…

Esoteric knowledge is affecting a vast part of our modern culture. Having known this through foresight for years I realize that within our unconsciousness is magic, brightness and truth, directly opposed to a contrary reality, part of our often diabolically troubled world.

Synchronicity, the doppelganger, mystical numbers, and foresight are things I have talked about with my sons as they grew up. Reading Grimm’s fairy tales, watching scary films, other dimensions, and hope, are qualities I have magically graced upon them. They both are scientists and know their math and computers… yet they are still open to mama’s influence.

Recently my son had his best friend over to watch a film. Oldest son is converting his old room into an office for game streaming and my publishing company. Two sons and Sebastian watched Jordan Peele’s film US. (2019 film).

My son told me it was like having “my mama standing right next to me” talking about all the things you always talk about. I have not viewed the film, but I am intrigued because I recently released an image to Jordan’s new horror film coming out next year. Now that is a small, interesting synchronicity.

Also, son told me that the town of Santa Cruz CA is in the film US. He was born in Santa Cruz Ca in 1992.

I think he is part of my often-misunderstood delusional world of foresight. Where art imitates life or life imitates art. This is less about me and more about my son. I don’t really want to see a film that entertains what I experience in real life. Yet I feel bitchin’ that my son and Jordan Peele get it!

From darkness to light, Hip Hip.

March so comes the remembering of from darkness to the light, as the days gradually stretch longer and the cold fades into warmth. It is a time for renewal, where nature awakens from its winter slumber, and vibrant colors begin to paint the landscape once more. With each passing day, the sunlight invigorates the spirit, reminding us of the beauty that lies ahead and the hope that blossoms anew. As we reflect on our journeys, we embrace the transition from the shadows of our past to the radiant possibilities that await us in the future.

“A flash of lightning. Dionysus visible in emerald beauty.“

~ Dithyrambs of Dionysus by Nietzsche…

So my walk during the day as I begin to celebrate… Lizard the Wizard was out to play, and leading the way before me. Only to rush up a tree and circle round it… we did take moments to acknowledge each other…

Photo by Hudley “Lizard the Wizard”

Lenai is another name for Maenad, referring to the lenos, the wine press. The Lenaian vessels illustrate women dancing, making music, carrying the thyrsus, and pouring out wine before a pillar with the mask of Dionysos.

Aguilar, A. Marina. Alchemy of The Heart: The Sacred Marriage of Dionysos & Ariadne . Chiron Publications. Kindle Edition.

And in your hand brandishing your night-lighting flame, with god-possessed frenzy you went to the vales of Eleusis where the whole people of Hellas’ land, alongside your own native witnesses of the holy mysteries, calls upon you as Iacchus: for mortals from their pains.

“On an island in the sun

We’ll be playin’ and havin’ fun

And it makes me feel so fine

I can’t control my brain.”

Two and a half years ago

I made it back

From the darkness…

To light

Today I celebrate

While driving home

From my secret market

The special song came on

my car radio

I remember the first day

I awoke

From the darkness to light

It was such a sight

Wizard the Lizard

Doing arm lifts

Singing

“Hip Hip”

Up and down

“Hip Hip”

On top of the red brick

Next to the Wild Promethean Fennel

The aroma still in my nose

When I heard the beat

I was walking around

along the street

I heard the song Island in The Sun

neighbor kids were rocking out

guitar, drums and singing

In their garage.

Today yes today

Driving home

On the anniversary of

Returning to the light

The song played

On my car radio.

In my brain again

I reached up as

The Promethean Thyrsus

Pulled me up and out

Dionysus declaring to me…

“Hip hip

Hip hip”

“We’ll never feel bad anymore

(Hip hip)

No no (Hip hip)

Hip hip

We’ll never feel bad anymore

(Hip hip)

No no (Hip hip)

Hip hip

We’ll never feel bad anymore.”

*An inscription found on a stone stele (c. 340 BC), found at Delphi, contains a paean to Dionysus, which describes his travels.[98] From Thebes, where he was born, he first went to Delphi where he displayed his “starry body”, and with “Delphian girls” took his “place on the folds of Parnassus”,[99] then next to Eleusis, where he is called “Iacchus.” “

“Dionysos with Sirius in noting the similarity of the words Iachos (a Cretan variation on the name Bacchus) and Iakar, the Minoan name for Sirius. Finally, the ancient Greeks themselves considered the vine itself to be a gift of the star Sirius.”

Aguilar, A. Marina. Alchemy of The Heart: The Sacred Marriage of Dionysos & Ariadne . Chiron Publications. Kindle Edition.

“SecondSkin is a medical-grade, transparent, adhesive barrier that protects new tattoos. It is latex-free, waterproof, breathable,” and it protects my symbol new tattoo.

Unbelievably as I was standing to start the process with this miraculous artist, David LeCompte, the song by Weezer came on the in house radio PA. I told the Skin Illustrator about the song and the meaning it had to the Thyrsus. He said,

“We played it just for you.” And I replied with a smile,

“A nice synchronicity meaning right now, I am here at the right time and place “

Thyrsus and Maenad.

“There’s a brute wildness in the fennel-wands—Reverence it well.”

~ Euripides

Prednisone Rape…

Sterling Hayden and Growling Water

Sterling Walter Hayden (born Sterling Relyea Walter; March 26, 1916 – May 23, 1986.

“Where from, you growling water? How old are you? Did you come in from the sea with the midnight flood? Were you sired by an iceberg out of the South Polar Cap, or was your dam a cloud knocked up by the High Sierra? Were you falling rain short months ago? What’s the news from Donner Pass and Emigrant Gap, and how are those new motels? You look a little wan, as though you’re tired of the land. Tried to trap you, did they—up Sacramento way? Piped you through a tunnel, dumped chlorine in your face, spun you through a toilet bowl—small wonder you’re brown as a sportsman’s chest. Don’t quit now; two hours will see you through the Gate, and once you’re clear keep rolling on. I’ll join you one day soon. Maybe.”

~ Hayden, Sterling. Wanderer (p. 7). QM Classics. Kindle Edition.

“Consider the following statement. Every river began its life as a stream, and every stream had its origin in the minutest trickle. In turn, every trickle is the result of filtration through rock and sand and soil, and from this process a single drop of water arises. So often most of these single drops have not seen the sky or the light of the sun for hundreds, if not thousands, of years.”

~ Hughes, Kristoffer. Cerridwen (p. 20). Llewellyn Worldwide, LTD. Kindle Edition.

How did Sterling Hayden the best Noir man, and Cerridwen the Welsh Goddess of inspiration twine together in my heart, blood, and water in my body’s imagination? The earth, male and female, sea, sky, rain and the divinely profound now cumulatively and happily joined together to reveal an old image to me.

“There is no new water on earth. In turn, there is no new myth on earth but only the retelling of the same rivers of mythology, flavoured only by the passing of time.”

~ Hughes, Kristoffer. Cerridwen (p. 20). Llewellyn Worldwide, LTD. Kindle Edition.

How to Anchor This Energy in Your Psyche?

“I examined the natal planetary positions for many other similar Promethean figures. For example, I checked at once the case of Percy Bysshe Shelley, since he was so explicitly associated—even identified—with Prometheus, his Prometheus Unbound being the preeminent work on that figure in modern literature. If the thesis that Uranus was actually Prometheus had any validity, the birth chart of Shelley would provide the most obvious test case. I found that, in fact, Shelley was born with the Sun and Uranus in close conjunction.”

Tarnas, Richard. Prometheus the Awakener (pp. 23-24). Spring Publications, Inc… Kindle Edition.

I am enrolled in Zodiac Art Boost Seminar taught by Mat Gleason ~ Coagula Curatorial.

Meeting artists is kind of thrilling, and I am learning from them. I hope good feelings all around are happening.

I am about to approach Uranus Square Uranus February 21, 2021- April 7, 2021. As so defined,

“You are being asked to claim some of the glorious wildness that can come only with the perspective of age. Time to drop the last stitch of the world’s phony clothes…”

I saw that Mat was offering the Seminar. I have known him for years and he has always been supportive of me. So, I took a bold jump and enrolled, returning my support of his creative endeavors. Now I am delighted and challenged. I am being drawn back to my interests in Astrology, art and building community again.

I have hidden from Zoom meetings in groups. It is so intimate and up front. I also took the seminar as a move towards socializing again. As an introvert it is easy for me to get lost in music, books, old films and interpreting my dreams.

Here is a classroom assignment that was asked of us. An Astrological Self Portrait of our favorite artists associated with planets in our solar system. I do feel brave again and so the future Zoom meetings have proven to be my colleagues of creativity.

Sun- Me,

Mercury- William Blake,

Venus- Dionysus,

Moon- Bees,

Mars- Mad Magazine,

Jupiter- Hildegard of Bingen,

Saturn- Gahan Wilson,

Uranus- Praying Mantis,

Neptune- Fennel Wand,

Pluto- Nature ( Pluto loves Persephone)

And so I see Uranus and Prometheus…. have been my secret friends of liberation all along. As well as Praying Mantis… and the Fennel Wand…good news.

Coagula Site

Home

Ritual Interlude: Crone’s Crowning.

Watercolor illustrations of the Praying Mantis as symbolism in my art holds meaning in a refreshing way. It is meant to be humorous, provocative, and honest. I have practiced the Crone’s Crowning ritual for years now. It is seeing death on the same terms as transformation. One and the same, yet the idea of transformation is easier to deal with than death.

I have been working on this project for some time and waited until the summer solstice to complete. This ritual is part of the native American medicine wheel of nature.

It is helpful in times of change, pain, and grieving. All about transformation and death, yes, we are all going through a type of world initiation, making this small offering to help others seems a creative opportunity to share from the inside out. Where the feminine and nature come tighter together to heal.

It is almost as if humanity is collectively going through a civil war between the ego and the psyche, science and religion, common sense, and emotionalism.

As I watch big black bumble bees take nectar from the praying mantis tree of purple and green… I can see that nature is consistent and dependable.

I look out the computer room window, my cave. and wonder and talk with the crones from the four directions.

East Crone

Crones of The East

those who sing

the songs of the transforming

The songs of the dying

And songs of the universe.

South Crone

Crones of The South

those who stir the caldron

Of change

That set the feast

For the transforming

And dying.

West Crone

Crones of The West

those who open the door

To the transforming

And the dying

And shed the tears of letting go.

North Crone

Crones of The North

those who wait in the realm of the transforming

The realm of the dying.

Silently helping with smiling faces.

Inspired by Susun S. Weed

Book: Menopausal Years, The Wise Woman Way

Alternative Approaches for Women 30 – 90

Chi Chi Hawa Harmony

“Hello, baby, hello
Open up your heart and let your feelings flow
You’re not unlucky knowing me
Keeping the speed real slow
In any case I set my own pace by stealing the show
Say hello, hello.”

Chi Chi Hawa Harmony

Chato from Painted Women / The Mustanger and the Lady (The Brandiron)

~ Dusty Richards

You don’t catch a Painted Lady—you join her journey.

Appreciating and Celebrating Earth | HeartMath Institute

♥

Appreciating and Celebrating Earth | HeartMath Institute
— Read on www.heartmath.org/resources/videos/appreciating-and-celebrating-earth/

Mindfulness and Raven

“… but rather that it is the intangible things that imprint on us and we imprint on others that are most important… allow that magic to spread to your soul and enlighten you spiritually.”

~ Bear Medicine Walker / omtimes.com

RAVEN MEDICINE

Raven Medicine https://www.pinterest.com/whytte/dream-catchers-mandalas-shields-medicine-wheels-fe/

Often our lessons in life come through illness. We all go through these experiences. As well as our ancestors, loved ones and friends have. My illness has taught me the mindfulness of others who have gone through similar experiences. A family member or a friend that went through illness and died. Wasn’t it Madam Blavatsky who said,

“We have neither friends nor enemies only teachers?”

An illness may be only a physiological illness, but I am experiencing mine more. My illness is in my heart. It is in my lungs and esophagus. The area of our hearts and lungs are what connect us to our friends, family, and ancestors.

As practicing mindfulness, it is helping me to see that all relationships are what Madam Blavatsky taught. Also, that we all have a dark and light side.

Today I am authoring an essay about two people who were, and still are, a big part of my life. I experienced their dark side and light side. Their joy and sadness are with me.

I am hoping that this Tibetan Buddhism subtle mindfulness will help my two relationships that have passed on. In return, helping me to let go of resentments and promote healing. As Raven from the Native American Medicine Wheel teaches,

“Be strong, have faith and remember within all things are lessons and positives.”

Today my mindfulness is focused on two relationships, my longtime girlfriend Lynn, and my oldest brother Steven Jarvis. Both were independent, shy, and creative people. They both had an addiction. Lynn died of an overdose before she turned fifty.

Steven Jarvis was an alcoholic, and I was not close to him when he died so I do not know what illness killed him in his early seventies.

I am sad they are gone.

Now for the good part of this story. They both caused me pain, stress, and unhappiness. They also brought me so much fun, joy, and love. This also is a mindfulness of how they experienced me in life.

Lynn and I grew up playing as a profession. We were wild as the wind. Later in life she drove me and some other friends to high school every day. She had a little brown VW Bug. She always had a tape of Crosby Stills, Nash and Young on her cassette car radio.

Steven Jarvis was my brother who I looked up to as a kid. He was 11 years older than I was. I painfully watched as he left our home at 18. He was a movie extra for years. He was a lady’s man and sailed on his own sailboat to Hawaii.

He was a licensed scuba diving instructor. He took me sailing and I sat on the front tip or the ‘stuck.’

Flying on the waves as a seagull. He had a Ford Falcon that he raced when he was younger. I learned about the Beatles listening to his 8-track tape of Rubber Soul while he worked on the engine with his cute friends. That is it…. mindfulness…

a niche for the conscious feminine

“But now women need to create structures in their lives and in society which ensure a niche for the conscious feminine. It is time to explode the fallacy that men and women are the same. Being equal does not mean having to be similar. Perhaps the time has come when we can afford to be different yet equal.”

–Rescuing the Feminine. The problems of the Animus in Women by Jasbinder Garnermann.

Chumash

Chumash Cosmology

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/_people

Existentialism and turning 60…

“…individual’s starting point is characterized by what has been called “the existential attitude,” or a sense of disorientation, confusion, or dread in the face of an apparently meaningless or absurd. Many existentialists have also regarded traditional systematic or academic philosophies, in both style and content, as too abstract and remote from concrete human experience.”

Ageing and turning 60 is an interesting time. I am reflecting over my life. The metaphor of fitting jigsaw pieces together is the best one that can describe my experience now. I now understand the meaning of existentialism. I thought I had an idea of what it meant. Not until now do I know it truly. It is a jolting reality. The now observing the past is how one can see existentialism alive!

As a child I remember waking up at night with a strange sensation that lasted only a few moments. A surrounding feeling that came to mind. One that I could not touch, access with words, or edify. It was a feeling deep in my teeth of something other. It would go away quickly. I had that same feeling through my growing up. I always knew when the other feeling was approaching. The other feeling went away as I grew up.

K -12, my whole education experience I was asleep. I realize this now. Existentialism is based on contrary things. Conflict or mindfulness to the absurd world we live in. When I look back at myself, I was experiencing or having an existential experience my whole young life. I was in a shadow world of social pressures and abstract ideals that where strange to me.

Only waking up occasionally to the wind on the hills or the rain while walking home. Playing in green fields with my friends. The smell of the earth and the feel of pepper trees on my skin. The aroma of the eucalyptus tree.

I went through the motions at school. I did not study or bring books home, and if I did, I don’t remember them much. I do remember reading the little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupery. The Chronicles of Narnia by C. S. Lewis, the King James Christian Bible, and Seven Arrow by Hyemeyohsts Storm. (Native American Myth,) Sherlock Holmes appealed to me. Also, songs on the radio are moments or awareness.

I was in trauma while I was growing up too! I was living in a home with an alcoholic parent and experienced love but also emotional abuse as a regular part of my life.

My point being I was not awake to my human experience until I started waking up later in my teens by the jolt of consensual sex, youthful love, and punk music.

I remember at 18 or so there were times that a light would come on and everything seemed more intense. One time out to dinner with my parents it seemed that the restaurant light above us turned on brighter. I was in an intense illumination. Then the light went out. This is when I was experiencing an awakening an existential conflicting experience.

When I entered the punk rock world in Los Angeles, I experienced this existential conflicting experience increasingly. The people and music really stirred me up. I awoke to the absurdity of life in a good way. I found my mind, voice, and soul all aligned. I began to acquire knowledge easily. I read ecstatically. I found out that I had an engaging and intellectual mind that had not been touched by the k-12 academia that tried to teach me.

I don’t think we can continue to live in an existential conflicting reality. Yet in these such moments when the existential happens. This is where we can find our authentic self. I am incredibly grateful!!