“…But we should realize that both the alcoholic and the bodhisattva are yearning for (and with the Bodhisattva actually working for) a situation in which individual egos are not separate…”
The triumph of working with Neptune is waking up to the quote above with a triumphant calling to move forward.
It scares me to read the above quote. I like my independence and introverted ways. To know that all egos are not separate is good as long as we are not to packed together.
Maybe working together for a common cause is better! A call of integrity is a call of the human spirit to right wrongs. These are more, my way of seeing it.
“The flames of degradation burn and curl up the sky,
They tell you when you going wrong, but they never tell you why.
They got all the power and they shove it in your face,
Stomp you in the ground just to keep you in your place.”
Power Corrupts ~ GBH, Perfume and Piss
Trumpiel Wheel the four monsters: Jared, Steve, Rex and Donald ` A Flipside Comic.. they suck !
Ezekiel’s Wheel is often used in art psychology, religious discourse and UFO Ancient Alien Theory. In truth it is about the prelude to war. It is the vision of a religious prophet and the history of the annihilation of many beautiful cultures by a ‘son of a bitch’ patriarchy religious ideology. A horrific story that is not often mentioned honestly in the big picture of its sickness. It is about power that corrupts and the individuals that manifest that power are those that are profoundly corrupted.
This insanity is often excluded but we need to call it out for what it really is. That is what Flopside comics is doing today… also we have upgraded Ezekiel’s Wheel to reflect our modern age. Unbelievable madness in our wonderful modern world.
(I just stumbled on this post again… and it is a nice reflection to embrace.. May 2017)
I looked outside at the night while watching the stars and the sparkling lights on the Verdugo Mountains. It was this time that a new world opened to me. We were all listening and we were all connected.
It was about 3 feet by 4 feet. Beige color and made of a soft wood with round speakers built-in the front of the radio. The base sound was good and highlighted the sound his soft DJ voice made.
His voice was in conflict with the loud music he played. Cutting Edge music.
I was glued to the sound of the music he played. The room was dark and I was alone in my parent’s two story house.
Taken from Los Angeles Flipside Fanzine
(There was suspicion but not until years passed and a clear affiliations of facts, narratives and friends that I have to state that Tar “staph writer” is a convicted sex offender of young boys and underage punks! His story is very offensive to me and at the time when he worked on Flipside Fanzine it was only by way of the post office. A written correspondence. I distanced myself from him years ago.) – Hudley
In my imagination it never occurred to me that I would get to know this music man. A type of pre-internet friend. A phone, mail relationship that came to be during the 1980s. Kind of like a Facebook friend now. Not exceptionally close but supportive and dependable and we all randomly came together as a sturdy cable.
We were the jump-start that started the punk rock engine.
A dependable promotional voltage to what the punk scene was screaming to achieve. Great times….
Thank you, Rodney!! A lot of action and movement! A lot of love!!
Improvising is having the ability to control one’s mind and think clearly. To speak from memory and experience within the presence of now and not get tongue-tied. I watch how some people are so good at this type of control. It amazes me. They can move their bodies, speak and improvise with a type of grace.
A controlling of the mind and the body with entertaining perfection.
It is not only about repetition and practice, though both matter. Taking tests and writing essays in class requires a similar kind of improvisational control. Some people are naturally good at it, while others develop it through practice and determination. That is a skill I would like to have.
I guess this is why I love Jazz. It is improvising control that is so perfect. A yearning for me…
“I stood for a moment on the scent, smelling this shrill and blood-raw music, sniffing the atmosphere of the hall angrily, and hankering after it a little too. One half of this music, the melody, was all pomade, sugar, and sentimentality. The other half was savage, temperamental, and vigorous. Yet the two went artlessly well together and made a whole.”
Punk Rock Historian, Colleague and Professional Consultant
Hudley Flipside
“Records…..Records….and Records !!!!!” ~ Mike Vallejo
If you lived as a teen in the late ’70s or during the ’80s you were most likely riding the original wave or skating the rebellious cement of the original punk rock scene in some way, shape or form. Mike sent me a CD in the mail, like the good old days, of an early interview with Slash Magazine and Flipside Fanzine on Rodney on the ROQ. I am airing it again today. Mike said it was OK to post this on my blog.
Imagine from Flipside fanzine taken by Larry Lash
Mike sells more than just records and seems to have a lot of music and things that document the early punk scene. I also purchased a CD from him of The Jam playing the Whisky A Go Go. A thrill for me to find. I am delighted to receive this CD. My mentors speak! I was most likely listening to this on my parents’ old WW II German Telefunken radio. WOW!
Enjoy and thanks Mike Vallejo! A friend indeed.
The last audio 7 ends abruptly. I wrote a letter to Kickboy-face after hearing this live back when it was on the air. He wrote back a week later. Also I danced with him at the Whisky A Go Go live to Madness. It is strange but this captures pre Elks Lodge Riot... we all know how that turned out!!
X-8- A Flipside Crew Trip to San Francisco ’79. photo by Peter Landswick (AL, Hud, Pete and X-8)
Rodney on the ROQ Los Angeles Flipside Fanzine and Slash Magazine.
I know that the nasty Slash characters played a song trick or two on Rodney… did you catch it… an utmost synchronicity for me…
The, another, big protest is happening today. Here at the Daily “FUCK” Gazette, watchers of the absurd and asinine, Mr. Fuck has made a sign and Mr. Shit drew a little doodle for yoodle…. we are with you, the mighty “WE THE PEOPLE.”
“As we fight the corpocracy, the fuckupracy of this world… their lies, their abuses that try to gobble us up into oblivion!!” ~Mr. Dang
“I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till I drop. This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion.”
~ Jack Kerouac
I grew up during the 60s, 70s and 80s. I was 30 years old when I was bumped blindly into the world of a new education. Each generation I lived though, I loved. As a song, friend, or lover, which in fact… all three generations supplied me with abundantly.
I fell into the late 70s punk scene blindly and without any ambition, but the rebellious call of youth and ideology built on an underground scene. Yet what I witnessed in the 60s was the wildness of a different rebellion. I miss the hitchhiker’s ways.
People on the streets at every corner. I felt safe and awake.
Then as I have written before, the end of the 70s brought multiple attacks from serial killers and we all pulled into ourselves. Now I drive by the many blocks where I grew up and see all the streets are empty. Cars and more cars blindly drive right through my memories of those street kids. They were just hanging and talking.
They improvised life without any hand-held device. Only the feel of a hand.
I feel the need to move to a new place where there are no memories. I did it at the end of the 80s. I left to a place of no memories for a short time.
As a culture we have become so pulled into ourselves. I am guilty of this as well. I am not blind to what is going on yet, I am getting too old to do anything about it.
“The emergence of values from remembering repeats in our old age the ancient myth of Memory, the mother of the nine. Muses. Each of the Muses—the patronesses of astronomy, comedy, dance, eloquence, epic, history, music, amatory poetry, and tragedy—artfully forms values by musing upon the goddess Memory who is her mother.
We do not need to form our remembrances into art, as the painter Grandma Moses did in her old age, or into a novel, as Giuseppe di Lampedusa did in his.
We need only to follow Memory’s daughters, musing over our memories and noticing how they take on significant shapes.”
~ James Hillman. The Force of Character: And the Lasting Life.
Illustration from ‘Practica Musicae’ depicting the connection between music, the Muses, and celestial influences.
“Greek rational thought broke away from magic thought processes, and symbolically transferred the center of creative power from the female womb to the male brain (symbolized by Athene’s birth from the forehead of Zeus), creating the great Western cultural distortion that is still with us today, by giving greater value to culture than to nature, to the abstract Idea than to concrete Life itself.”
~Amaury de Riencourt. Woman and Power in History .
These illustrations are a way to in tune with “the female power again.” Intuition, illumination, and humor are a way to hold us on an alternative foundation or path.
A given for us females and a needed endeavor that must be taken by our male comrades. Most importantly for them. If we dare to have a chance in these dark times.
An offbeat flopside comic adventure...
Art -watercolors by Hudley Flipside aka Holly Cornell.
Nine Muses as the source of “in-aspiration,” literally breathing in “I-deas” of Goddess-spirits within. The Muses were originally a triad-the primordial Triple Goddess. First of them was Mnemosyne, “Memory,” who made poets able to remember sacred sagas.
“The whole classical iconographic story of the transformation of the soul and the stages of illumination.”
Apollo is seated at the top and the three Graces are dancing beside him. In his hand is the lyre that plays the song of the universe, and besides that is the vessel of abundance. The inscription over Apollo’s head says,
“The energy of the Apollonian mind moves everywhere through the muses.”
The muses are the inspirers of spiritual knowledge, and the source of their energy is the Graces. The Graces are naked because nakedness represents disengagement form the limitations of the clothing of time and space, but the Muses who represent the message of this naked truth to the world. The Graces are three aspects of Aphrodite. Her inflection as the moving powers of the energy of the world.
Euphrosyne: Joy and the radiance that flows to the world through the qualities of the nine Muses.
Aglaea: Splendor, the energy returning to the deity.
Selene: the celestial body of the moon. The arrow held by Selene in the sphere of the moon is held down, pointing us to the earth and its history, while the caduceus of Hermes points upward, directing us to spiritual heights.
Clio: the muse of history and historical writing.
Calliope: the Muse the radiance of the eternal principle of epic poetry. (Mercury /Hermes)
Thalia: Abundance: that unites the two. When you have put your head in the mouth of the lion you hear the song of nature. Muse of bucolic poetry, the poetry of the nature around you, the sheep and the lion and the trees and the mountains.
(3,4,5 The process of the rendering into the world the radiance of the Apollonian consciousness.)
The same old chaos from the small mushroom man. Tariffs, tariffs, tariffs…. This is a Flopside cOmic. I used to enjoy drawing and doodling this buffoon, but it is not so much fun anymore… redundant and annoying is more like it… the annoying Donald… the small mushroom man.
The central figure is the great serpent whose tail is Cerberus. The three-headed dog who guards the underworld. Thalia is also the name of the ninth Muse. She is both below Cerberus’s head and she is also the central Grace above. Silent Thalia when she is under the threshold of the earth. “You can’t accept the bite of death and so you’re not hearing the song of the universe, and that why Thalia is silent.” We are afraid of the three heads of the dog. Fire of the sun, the present, yielding ourselves to the present. The wolf, the fear of the passage of time. The Dog which represents desire and hopes for the future.
“What binds us is the present, past and future and so we’re bound to the ego. This is the image of the snake biting Peleus’s Achilles tendon.
“Let the serpent of death bite your heel, do hear the song of the universe and then the Muses sing…when you have died to your ego and rational consciousness there open the intuition, that is to say, you hear the song of the muses, and this is the female power again.”
Nine Muses
The first triad of the earth, the moon and mercury.
The second triad is the transition through the sun door into the high sphere of purely spiritual experience.
Terpsichore the muse of dance. (Venus)
Melpomene the muse of tragedy and tragic poetry. (the Sun)
Erato the Muse of the art of erotic poetry. (Mars)
The highest triad where we are released from bondage to matter and death.
Euterpe the Muse of Flute song. (Jupiter, Zeus)
Polyhymnia the Muse of choral sacred song. (Kronos)
Urania the Muse of Astronomy.
(The heaven of the fixed stars)
Sources…
Practica Musicae, Franchinus Gaffurius, Interpreted by Joseph Campbell from his book Goddesses, Mysteries of the Feminine Divine.
The Woman’s Encyclopedia of Myths and Secrets by Barbara G. Walker
Also, today I am adding another most important source. “The Practica Musicae of Franchinus Gafurius” (First published in Milan in 1406)
The images contained in this book inspired my renderings. I was amazed at what I found and so started my journey.
“The High Renaissance in northern Italy was a crucial period in the development of the music of western civilization. The Pythagorean definition of interval in terms of precise mathematical ratio concepts of tuning, the controversy between ration and the “errant” senses…. helped bridge the gap between music as a philosophical science and music as a secular art. “
I include here images from this book. “…evolved both from ancient and medieval tradition and from the demands of performance in the late fifteenth century.”
Original source is acknowledged here with great joy…. the ancient past, the present…. it is amazing how we humans enjoy getting to know our soul, history, inspiration, astrology, philosophy, astronomy, alchemy, science and dare I say music ?
Punk Rock Colleague & Historian and Professional Consultant
“I am the Chief of my own tribe. I captain my own ship and I fall under no label. I happen to identify and relate to the passion and spirit that is called “Punk Rock.”
_ Stig Stench
Wow! TBT! The interview Hudley Flipside did with me for Flipside Magazine back in 2010. YES! This Texas hick made it in fLipside Magazine.Enjoy!:”
1st quadrant: The Radio DJ: 1. Prior to, Raising Punk Rock Radio Back from the Dead!, where and when were you and DJ?
A: You work for Flipside with a name like “Mr Fuck?” …..Whatever floats your wiener! *LOL* Ok! Well here it goes!………. In 1983, I got a job as a teenager at a shit-hole Country Music Station in Silsbee Texas. The equipment was very primitive there even by that days standard. By 85 I ended up in Oceanside, CA. Hopped around Disc Jockeying pirate stations *Cocking eye like a pirate* Harrrrrrgh! and hanging around public access radio shows and such.
2. What process do you use now to access the computer airways?
A: I get up…I sit down..Have either a cup of Wheatsville Fresh Ground Coffee or Coke Zero…Put my grubby hands on my keyboard .I turn on my HP Pavillion p630y PC w/AMD Phenom II X4 820 Quad Core Processor and *BAM!* I terrorize the Internet!
3. What has the response been to starting Stig Stench’s Punk Rock Radio?
A: Well to be truthful, I didn’t expect this type of response. I did it because I couldn’t find the type of Punk Rock Radio show on the net I wanted. I mean I found “looped” and shows that are repeated and taped months ago, but not a “live” Internet Punk Rock Radio Show. I figured if I got 2 or 3 listeners, cool! But I have had such a plethora, NO! a cornucopia listeners and incredible supporters! Kevin Seconds (7 Seconds) and Sly-J (Sylvia Juncosa) help put my little show on the map. Since then Greg Ginn (SST/Black Flag), Ed Colver and Ron Goudie (Modern Warfare/Enigma Records) have given me their hand of support. Greg Ginn/SST are now sponsoring StenchRadio.com. Sly-J (Sylvia J) is my webmaster! CRAZY! I have the best audience in the world! Listeners from L.A to Texas all over the US, Belgium,Canada, UK, France, Pakistan, Russia and …..Missouri.
4. What is the best thing about being a fucking punk rock radio man?
A: A “fucking” Punk Rock Radio man? That question, you’ll have to ask Mrs Stench! *Wink*
2nd Quadrant: The punk in a band.
1. So you have been in a couple Black Death Metal Bands? A:Yes…….*Long uncomfortable pause*
2. What the hell kind of stuff did you do with Negativity Records?
A: I was the vocalist on Evil God’s CD. The very first time I laid eyes on it was when I saw it in the used bin at Cheapo’s Records here in Austin a couple of weeks ago. But seriously, TIM is doing well and he and I are still dear friends.
3. Did you go on tour with a band call the Powerless Flowers in the 1980’s?
A:I did a handful of shows with them there in Covina, CA as their bassist back in 1988. I deservedly was kicked out and came to Austin. I still talk to Abner on occasions. He is a wonderful guy and has a band with his daughter Samantha called Temper Tantrum. I need to call him and catch up.
4. What kind of music do you like best and what is your instrument of choice.
A: Untarnished early 80’s Punk Rock! Obviously, but I have been known to enjoy Early Industrial, Motown and Black Gospel. Instrument: My voice and my PC….I am reforming my band The STENCHES this month.
3rd Quadrant: The Record Collector
1. How old where you when the record bug bit your butt?
A: In 1975. It was KISS, Black Sabbath,Thin Lizzy and Alice Cooper. I saw The Sex Pistols in Circus magazine and TV! I had The Sex Pistols, Ramones and Dead Boys on 8-Track Tape! *LOL* Remember those? My first punk rock record ever was “Nervous Breakdown” by Black Flag.
2. How many records do you have?
A:I don’t know, I would have many more if my ex-wife hadn’t have stolen some of them.
3. What are you favorite four records?
A: (1) The Damned-Machine Gun Etiquette (2) Black Flag-Damaged (3) The Germs-G.I (4) Dead Kennedy’s-Fresh Fruit For Rotting Vegetables
4. Compare records and CD’s?
A: CD’s are more accessible and convenient , but I prefer the audio of vinyl better because it captures the “Live” experience more and it has more soul! They are more meaningful.
4th Quadrant: Who the HeLL are you?
1. Are you a punk rocker?
A: I am the Chief of my own tribe. I captain my own ship and I fall under no label. I happen to identify and relate to the passion and spirit that is called “Punk Rock.” Punk Rock in my opinion is not a genre or fad. It is a revolution and a not to be trite but a state of mind that refuses to be quiet ,but to be a voice of many generations. It is not a shop, a shoe, a tour or even a radio show. It is it’s own true energy and soul. Some people get it! Some sadly don’t. This is the music that stirs my soul and allows me to never die. (Undead)
2. Are you really an evil zombie man?
A: I am part Fulci, part Romero and Louisiana Swamp Rat. …And I look like a Elvis From Hell!
3. What politically motivates you?
A: Amendment 10 of the US Constitution States “The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, AND to the PEOPLE!”. The US Constitution originally was to grant Americans the ability to be their own governing voice and the Government was to have very little “hand on” in our lives. Where in the Constitution does it grant for example the IRS to have the power they do over our taxes, property ect? They are a private sector! Can anyone tell me who gave them their power? The Government needs to be totally disassembled. Uprising is what America need! We need to be our own governing voice.
4. Do you believe in love…?
A: Love is what made me start this show. Love is what generates our soul to have passion for whatever it is we love to do. Our Family , Friends, our scene, our music. Love for my Freedom is what keeps me from choking the shit out of anyone who annoys me. I love my wife, my daughter. I don’t like a lot of people, but I love the life that flows through people. Anyone who says “I don’t believe in Love” truly does not believe that. Anyone who does, is either full of shit or six feet under the ground. Ok, that is all you are getting out of me. I am starting to sound like a hippie or a owner of a cheese shop.
Illustration for Lady of the Lake, Richard Westall British | 1765 – 1836
Last night’s dream set me on a journey of murder and fear. I left my car’s break off and it flew down the hill knocking down people, places, and things.
Yet, somehow, I ended up in a cave / loft underground looking up on a reflection of Our Lady of Guadalupe. There were five or six of us looking up, out of the loft.
A wood ladder hung upon the opening and straw was all around. I started to hum a song.
I did some research and found out that this song has an interesting history separate from Latin or the Catholic Church.
Franz Schubert Opus 52, 7 songs set to Walter Scott’s epic poem Lady of the Lake. (1825)
“My hope, my heaven, my trust must be,
My gentle guide, in following thee.”
― Walter Scott, The Lady of the Lake
Original text for Ellens dritter Gesang III is Scott/Stork Text before Lain text “Catholic Ave Maria” (Hail Mary).
“What is actually new in these interactions is the introduction of the financial aspect; if desired, the user has the possibility to monetize his expertise. Although, we can always share our experience for free, giving users the opportunity to have some financial compensation may enhance the potential of interactions by providing them credibility, recognizing their value and establishing a relationship of equals between the parties. Some people may well feel more at ease if, to complete their project, they have the possibility to ‘buy’ someone else’s know-how.”
After my stuff was destroyed by punks at a San Fernando Valley show, I felt threatened, but I moved on. My journals are now in paperback format for online sale. Problem solved. Published in 2019.
my opus magnum
It is ironic. My jewel, my opus magnum, and creations destroyed by the very same scene that gave me a voice. The punk scene gave me a voice. I self-taught myself or created myself in this void of rebellion.
A new world. The ideologies, punk community where we helped each other.
We confront the status quo and want to change things. My memories are something I share. It took me a long time but, a validation from financial gain is a necessity for the value of one’s art. What makes it valuable is relative.
Time, attempt, joy, bliss, and humor. A joining in. I joined the community of the history of punk now. I took a vow in Jung’s terms.
I am confronted with violence, destruction, and hate. What is my psyche doing now?
How is Cosmos responding to this? The fire of destruction. The depth of despair. The wheel of talk becomes tiresome to others.
Pity, maybe.
Hope, lost.
The band plays on…
I smell nothing today.
But the recurrence of something I cannot change.
I move forward as a phoenix.
new possibilities new awareness
leaving the gutter behind me!
In “Journal Number Four,” the author dedicates the issue to the tape recorder used at Los Angeles Flipside Fanzine. The cover features a favorite photo of the early punk scene, showcasing the Canadian band Subhumans and the Samoans, along with notable figures like Greg Turner, Metal Mike, Wimpy, Hud, Gary, and Jim. The author is seen holding the Flipside tape recorder, with the photo taken by Al Flipside.
Now the new cover for Flipside Fanzine # 54 Ten Year Anniversary Issue. A paperback replica of the original issue. Published by The Seminary of Praying Mantis Publishing/ Hudley Flipside (2019)
All four journals are now for sale as one paperback memoir…
Click on both images to order for your reading pleasure.
Trump’s AI image of his lover in tight blue jeans has caused quite a stir, sparking conversations and debates across social media platforms.
The striking depiction not only highlights an unconventional blend of modern technology and personal life but also raises questions about the appropriateness of using AI to generate intimate representations.
Many have praised the artistry involved, noting the impressive attention to detail that captures the essence of his partner, while others have expressed concern over privacy and representation in the digital age.
As the image circulates, it is clear that such portrayals have the power to ignite both admiration and controversy in today’s fast-paced media landscape.
note to the reader: This is not an AI image… but what the hell
I was amazed to see a small and pretty doorway with a Gothic arch in the middle of the wall, for I could not make up my mind whether this doorway had always been there or whether it had just been made. (8) ― Hermann Hesse, Steppenwolf
“In eternity there is no time, only an instant long enough for a joke.”
― Hermann Hesse, Steppenwolf
I saw the film 20th Century Women last week. It felt like it did when I use to go see bands from the east coast or from overseas. Anticipation filled me.
My two sons came with me. We went to the Arclight Theater near Sunset in Hollywood. The films first day of its release in California.
I talked to a few ladies as they left the theater after seeing the film. They had happy looks on their faces. Profound words filled my ears as I listened to the closing credits buzzing the Buzzcocks lyrics in my ears.
Pete Shelley’s unique voice was singing the song “Why can’t I touch It.” There was an equal number of men at this event as well.
I was not sure if my two sons, who are 16 and 25 would like the film. After seeing it we had a great talk while driving back to the San Fernando Valley. Oldest son reflected on how the film’s director and writer, Mike Mills, answered some questions for him about a few things. About women in general.
This film takes us to a merging of generations. Mike Mills takes this film to a higher place than the usual action films my son goes to see. He compared his film to the film Whiplash. He says both films have quality.
They may not be big media monsters, yet they have something real to say about life that has value. It speaks about real life at a different level.
The archetype that came forth for me in 20th Century Women is the Baubo myth. Currently in our wondrous American culture, I feel that women have been assaulted consciously and unconsciously. Current politics in this country are trying to take a woman’s voice away from the table.
They are talking that taboo talk too. That Demeter, Persephone and Baubo talk from those ancient Eleusinian mysteries. Is it feminism or something more? It is defiantly an ancient archetype where women are sitting at the table.
The women in this film are finding their power in the world. As if a giant ancient powerful beautiful flower opens to us who are watching this film. Baubo is not ashamed to show her private parts.
This film is about so much more too. It is about a mother and her son, friendship and growing up. It also reflects on how men and women can be friends and share in that ideal called equality. They can learn from each other! Hopefully finding this needed equality.
There are images of Maxfield Parrish Paintings, and Jean Nate Bottles in this film that are delightful to catch. Mike Mills is taking it to the next level. I hope we are all listening too. I know that the simple things in life can hold the profoundest mysteries. Yet, this is not a simple film. Either is the experience we call life. Life is a tragedy, drama, and comedy all at the same time, with punk rock as a side kick.
Dreams and daydreaming are the next best things to writing. Where else can you drive an Aston Martin down a road and crash into things and run over mail boxes. Knowing there is no power steering and the chassis rides on the road like driving on black ice?
“I don’t remember the car driving like this before?“
Waking up to dream reality, you find that you are calm and lying on a circular bed, just like the one in Casino Royale with Peter Sellersand Ursula Andress, but you are the gal and Ed Kuepper is the escaped convict.
You look at him sideways with one eye and he is looking back at you.
Then you find yourself walking out a door into a mansion.
Donald Trump is having a party where everyone there is wheeling and dealing. Yet, you sit down in front of Donald, and he sells you that 1961 Aston Martin for $2,000.
At this same time, you realize that his desk is unorganized as he reaches for papers and a pen, but nothing is where he can find it. Regardless, his manner is sweet, and he holds calm etiquette.
This does not explain the deep feelings, longings, humor and forgetfulness of your oscillating mind. As when you get out of the Aston Martin and realize that it was falling apart and there is steam coming out of every end. The bumpers are demolished. The car looks like an accordion.
When a man comes up to you and calmly states,
“They don’t make them like that anymore!”
“You think..?”
“Well, maybe I should have had a car mechanic look at it first before I bought it from Donald?”
Then you notice seeing Tequila Mockingbird, Alice Braun and Pleasant Gehman sitting on a balcony over a large parking lot of fresh fallen snow. At this moment you ask them a strange question, as you float by,
“…If you could go back to 1979 all over again, would you?”
Two said yes, the other no.
All of a sudden you find you are in a monorail. A special ride. This monorail turns and rides into the ocean. Like a big giant snake, it goes diving down into the water, then up again, then down again. It becomes something else.
YOU are now in a hologram underwater in a transparent submarine. You feel calm. A big fish swims up to you and you realize it is the fish cartoon you created, with pencil and ink, months ago, it says
“Hi, how are you?”
Then there are the day dreams…
While staring outside into your garden, you notice large monoliths coming down from the sky. About six feet tall and about 4 feet wide. Perfect and triangular.
Black as the night without a moon. If you look long enough into these black onyx shapes, stars shine forth from the deep darkness they possess.
They are firm silent statues in your garden. You notice the seven monoliths all day and so do the cats. Yet, no one else does. Slowly they move into the earth until they are covered and gone.
Or looking out of the computer window in a trance, where in your daydream begins hearing loud sirens screaming, like the ones in golden ancient myths.
You also hear church bells ringing and the sounds are coming closer. You felt calm but now you are feeling heart palpitations. You notice monks in black robes with white braided cords around their waists.
They are walking down your street. They are ringing large bells in their hands while screaming siren screams. The wind is blowing, and the sound of truck engines melt past you. You notice their large loud mouths open as they parade past your house. What are they heralding or why have they come?
He opened the door to the “theater of the absurd!”
Times when creative inspiration filled his veins with contradictions of contrition; terror and bliss, hate and love, mediocrity and profoundness! Today, he is outside the door wondering,
“… do I have the will to go through that door again ?”
This morning I was on my own. I was early to my destination, so I stopped by a local 7/11 for coffee. It had been five years since entering this store. I also needed to break a twenty-dollar bill that has been in my wallet for a few weeks. While walking back to my car I put two fives in my purse for the event I was soon planning to attend. I held on to the rest. I looked up from my car and saw a black man with a trash bag and a smile.
His hand held open and out to me. I smiled back and walked up to him and asked,
“Is this what you need?”
I gave him some money. He lightly hugged me and kissed my head with a blessing. I smelled the street on him but felt his gentle humanness.
“Are you going to church,” he asked.
“No, an artist is speaking at a local synagogue on creation stories.”
At that moment, a white man in his late sixties yelled something. I looked around at him and assumed that he and the man, I was talking to, were friends. The light changed to a darkness. My heart went from cheerfulness to a confrontation unwanted. This man was saying some strange things to me.
“Did you know that man is a convicted felon. He has a record. I am glad I am here to save you from him!”
This new man’s conduct shocked me. He was rude, aggressive and was insulting this heartfelt, other man. The black man slowly disappeared as a soft breeze. It seemed to me that he was not about to confront or cause any trouble. Yet the white man continued to slowly insult me. He approached me. I told him to step back.
“I am not interested in what you have to say, because you have no evidence that this man has a record. You have no evidence he is a convicted felon.”
“But we have been watching him, the Valley is not what it once was!”
“Who are the “we” you are referring to?
This man did not have an answer. His tongue turned to a mouth of bigotry, hate and slander. He affirmed to me he voted for Trump. I guess he saw my Bernie for President bumper sticker. Was this giving him a justification to verbally attack me?
Today the eyes of heartlessness and political darkness did not recognize the kind hand of humanity. Here in the San Fernando Valley on Vanowen Street.
A few moments later I was in a beautiful synagogue. The irritating confrontation faded. Instead, art, creation stories and depth mythologies enlivened my soul once more.
I learned about an artist today. His name is Mikalojus Konstantinas Ciurlionis.
