My mind challenges me all the time. It is an endless crematorium of my accomplishments or desires to create. I must say it is a blessing that something else, inside me, does not listen to these aimless shadow words. No matter how dark the shadow appears, I ascend to the light of the occasion to create. This time of year always seems to amplify the worst of the worst anyway. The longest day and the shortest night, seems ironically off.
Jupiter, Mars, Saturn and the full moon come along to celebrate tonight’s summer solstice this year. I have taken out a book, I have had a long time, and have started reading it again. Dimensions by Jacques Vallee. I post about him from time to time. He has whisked me away to so many other books. As a scientist he is also creative and intuitive. His perspective on tradition, folklore and UFOs always amazes me. With the many questions, alone, I have on these subjects, he alone, answers them; intense to say the least.
Proposition 1: The behavior of a superior race would not necessarily appear purposeful to a human observer. Scientists who brush aside UFO reports because “obviously intelligent visitors would not behave like that” simply have not given serious thought to the problem of nonhuman intelligence. Observation and deduction agree, in fact, that the organized action of a superior race must appear absurd to the inferior one…” Pg. 167.
I also like how he blends in the conversation of psychic and mystical with the UFO experience. Also that historically, this is a long going tradition that must not be ignored and viewed only scientifically. Knocks at the door when no one is there, lost time and space, and strange dreams are, in fact, nothing new. This all has been written about for a damn long time. Many traditions that go back for generations. As Jacques Vallee points out, “Ones that must not be forgotten or they die forever.”
So tonight, as I look into the night sky and see the wondrous lights there, I am thankful for this consistency and the mystery; within the darkness there is light!
Bless them wild suicide squirrels they got a death wish. I see them dance the detorsion dance of death.
Have you seen the suicide squirrels? Crazy animals that run across the street. They have a big shadow going on in them as daredevils galore. These crazy squirrels race across the street not looking where they are going. They zoom fast over the road right in front of cars. I slowdown in my car and honk and yell trying to save their life. Jerks in cars don’t care and run them right over. A real hit and run. I stay to watch the detorsion dance of death.
Them crazy suicide squirrels. I stay and take care of their final wishes. I always take time to bless ’em and put them in a bag after they die. It is always quick.
A song by Stan Kenton called Painted Rhythm reminds me of them wild beasts, them suicide squirrels. They just don’t listen to me.
“Get out of the street !!” I scream.
The suicide squirrels are damn independent, wild, and organized animals… but they got a strange shadow side. A death wish.
Spring is so sweet today. The air honeyed with nectar and the birds are singing. Life can be heavenly but I never lose sight of the shadow. It is important to keep goodness and our shadows at check, or in balance. A good way for our soul. You know the story of the brightest light casting the greatest shadow.
Today I am impressed to hear the music of the wild thyme herb growing. Blossoms are very small and delicate. It casts a shadow too and hangs best under one dark shadow this morning.
“The World represents the ultimate in individual achievement. It is symbolized by a naked, dancing figure, a hermaphrodite”
~ The Saturn / Pluto Phenomenon by Joy Michand
Over reading this. I think the monster may have been Pluto. Saturn in a female form and Pluto in his ugliest! Now working through both and listening to their stories. I am in awe of both of their transformational abilities. Within us they help us to balance our hermaphrodite natures. I think the war happening in our current American culture is a force to be reckoned with. Male and female wise…. that is!
I am studying and reading about Saturn: the mythology, history, archetypal, astrological; and even jumped into some depth psychology and esoteric merging. Saturn could be a God or a Goddess because through meditation he reveals to me himself, as her, that looked and spoke a lot like Lana Turner.
Lana Turner is a strong-willed dame that is morally together. She does not jump fences for men and knows herself. She is accountable, beautiful, smart and karma incarnate. Saturn manifesting himself as Miss Turner in my imagination is good.
My dream embraces a different aspect of Saturn than from my walking imagination. I found myself in a dark horror film. Blood and gore galore heightened my awareness. Dark opaque shiny metal and a large pool table caught my attention. A monster had already taken and killed three of my friends. I looked across the pool table and a light above was moving back and forth.
I grabbed a large katana blade and was swinging it around and around back and forth. I was keeping the monster from me. I heard the knife through the air and looked at his massive body. His shadow was darker still over the pool table. The monster’s head was black as death might be. No head. Terrified, I awoke.
My eyes opened to the thought that I had to post this to help me understand what I was seeing in this dark dream. I think it was Saturn’s shadow. Now together with Miss Turner I now know I am dealing with a God / Goddess. a hermaphrodite.
Our little Sony Cyber-Shot camera takes amazing pictures. This camera was a christmas present to my son from his grandmother. My son and I both use it. It is our creative friend.
The image is of a human shadow that is “one” with a tree nymph of a cypress tree in a garden. Two shadows merge together as one. It you study the image you will notice aspects of the tree shadow blending with the human shadow. A hand and thumb extend out from the cypress. The human is slightly bent to right with a hidden shadowy tree nymph. There is magic in this garden.
Look to the background: look towards the shadowy places in your garden.. and you will find the nature spirits there.
I don’t know if others working with their shadow experience this or not. Recently I engaged with a lot of creative forgiveness work with others and myself. I call it taming the wild woman within. The symbol that comes to mind is the wild purple thistle that grows on the hills and fields in my town. Interesting to view, sticky, needles all over, and that purple color…wow. Yet often we tend to cut down and do not give time for this wild purple thistle to come to full fruition.
Occasionally we see them in forgotten fields or in an uncut neighbor’s lawn. I love them. I tend to cut them down too. I know that when we do too much healing, or forgiveness and bring that impressive light into our bliss felt little existence, we ignore the shadow in us. Then like the wild thing that it is, it pops up in the most unexpected ways.
Maybe it is a projection of our shadow on to a situation that is not to our liking. Be it stress, too much whiskey or pushing our comfort zone. It was a simple thing for me, where a few so-called friends ignored me at a bar.
This hurt my feelings so then the shadow monster came forth. I tend to ride the creative expression of the shadow, not suppress it. This, for me, can be an uncontrollable expression. I might use my “fuck you finger,” or kick a bar door with my foot. Maybe bring up those elements of the film Fight Club in my life, as in the relationship between the narrator and Tyler Durden. Yet that was how it was directly for me as a punk fanzine journalist.
The “l being” is to fight with oneself and in the above mentioned film the shadow does motivate an underground revolution. My revolution being the one within myself in relation to the world, but one needs to find balance.
The key is becoming conscious of all of this. Achieving this balance then between our civilized self and wild self. If I find wild purple thistle growing in my garden, I will let it come to full bloom. I will not let it take over completely. Likewise, if my lawn becomes conservative and meticulous in greenness, I will let some part of it go wild. So here I sit in my bed with possible torn ligaments in my right leg. This is extreme shadow pain. I am hopeful of the lesson learned!?