My 4th favorite song is Vandals – I Want To Be A Cowboy .
As a young punk all the words were being thrown around. Anarchy, chaos, discord and mayhem. It rang around me via songs, voices and written lyrics and published fanzines. and punk friends. I never thought the ideals I supported would manifest via a gangster presidency? These words were used as ways to inspire creative freedom. This words for me meant the ability to do things on your own terms to help others not to tear them apart. To confront cruel authority, not to create a foundation for dictatorship or fascist tendencies. So much for deconstructivism if born again AA punks’ side with the enemy. It is a wake up call for us all. How to keep a conversation going is not always possible. Humor as, it was only for a fun experience, can be thrown in there. Yet I am keeping my integrity at my hip. My mind set to do it myself. As always, it may not be popular.
Today I got a nice note from Shredder who wrote for the ‘zine… so I am adding him to this ongoing article….. Los Angeles Flipside Fanzine Staph: Those who worked on Los Angeles Flipside Fanzine 1979 to 1989.
It was the year 2038, The old purple haired broad walked slowly down the street. On a big monitor above her she saw that old Flipside Logo. Now part of an advertisement campaign for public office. Those people running for office with pig hearts. And she thought it was weirder when she heard the Ramones’ song as part of a bike exercise commercial back in 2018.
After about 14 years over reflecting, reliving, and watching all the Flipside stuff I help produce become dissected, rearranged bought and sold and resold I can now let it all go. T-shirt logos and documentaries too. I came out with my own D.I.Y. publications to tell my story. It has been out for over a year or two.
Yes, I have been asked to tell my story in other people’s books. Some I did because I felt the need to save the memory of Flipside. Not anymore. I let it go. This is a reality that I had to face, and it was not easy letting go of the need to protect Los Angeles Flipside Fanzine.
“It may be bad, but it feels good”
I hope others that were part of Flipside tell their own stories in their own way. Who knows we could put together a blog or book that includes our individual stories as writers, shit workers, photographers, people who caused considerable trouble etc.? That would be fun.
One thing that shines through as a truth that Al and I believed in…. “You don’t have to ask permission.” If you want to do it just do it. “
So, letting it go means just that. You do not have to ask me if you want to use this or that from Flipside’s vast products in anything you are doing. Just do it. I will not be part of that anymore. It is not my responsibility.
Yet, I do have my projects if you need to see what it was like for me as a Flipside punk person. A simple story that I did in my little bedroom converted into an office. Where I do my art, poetry and writing of all kinds, so be it. It took me 2004 to 2017 to finish the Punk@lullaby project. Just like condensed soup but a condensed punk rock story.
To all my old & new friends of the Big Punk Rock @ beyond.
Update: I have put my Punkalullaby project into a paperback book for sale on Amazon.
Rockin’ in my rockin’ chair
Rockin’ in my rockin’ dreams
We all are elder punks now
The first of the punk rockers
A youthful explosion…
March 28, 2018
Last night’s dream
The dream was long but what I remember is we had a big back yard. In the back yard were big beautiful old trees. So big that artists would come to visit so they could sit under the trees. They’d sit under the shade of the old trees and make art. They enjoyed the big trees. Two people I knew came to visit us. Two old friends I knew in my rebellious youth when I had a punk fanzine. Band members I championed as we grew from youth to adulthood. First was Mike Palm. He was sleeping under one of the trees. I saw him there. Next son said that another one came to the door. He went back to the big trees. He told son he knew me. Son let him in and he went to the trees. He had his painting art supplies and a sleeping bad rolled up behind him. I went back and saw that it was Mike Ness . He smiled warmly at me. I felt all those friendship, close, intimate feelings come back to my heart. The feelings of loyalty and belonging to something bigger than ourselves. He was fine. So, I left him alone under one of the old trees. In the house I made him a sandwich. We always made sandwiches for our art guests.
Dreams like this hurt me. I still somehow feel connected to these punk charmers of my youth. They made a big impression on me. I still love them both so much. Though our lives are not intermingled as they once were. They are still beholding to me. They hold value in myself, my psyche. It is nice when they come to visit, even if only in my dreams.
I wonder if they ever find my face smiling up at them in their elder punk dreams. I hope so… somehow there is still a heartfelt remembrance and shared values from our youthful rebellious days. Long gone by days…that we all share together.
Director: Nicole Wegner Year: 2017 Duration: 100 Language: English
“This film pays homage to the American DIY spirit and the diversity of the US musical landscape outside the commercial music industry. While many other music films never make it beyond hero worship, director Nicole Wegner consistently maintains eye level with her twelve interview partners,…”
UCLA Center for Musical Humanities Curating Resistance 10 February 2018
“PhDS Pertaining to Punk, “ & beyond …
Mixing the Academy and lived PUNK culture is a concept like a giant punk rocket filled bulging with repertories of sight and sound. A giant punk rocket to the future that explodes into the sky like a fucking loud scream to a new world of fireballs and resistance…. women indulgently included!
I did not know that this two-day event was the first of its kind at UCLA. Yet I naturally follow Joe Strummer’s advice, which is to move naively into things. I think of this as letting the essence or spirit of an event unfold as it may. This is how I fell into punk rock. The right place at the right time. It was synchronicity and all that unconscious revealing by focus and experience. For me, as others, it was the first note of a song. The guitar riff or bass depth and drums ripping through my spine. It made me wake up!
I wanted to attend the full event but didn’t because of my bad back and family responsibilities. I attended the full event on Saturday. I made as many of the sessions as I was able to. Each session inspired me to see from a different perspective. Some of the panelists are very academic. Their blending punk with thesis was a challenging reality for most of them. Also, the need to archive punk, in general, was something that challenged all of them. I have questioned this one myself. I was hoping that by being here that some of my questions might be answered. Their arguments are satisfactory. Over time, I will consider all of them.
Session 2B” Punk Epistemologies, 9:30 to 10:30 AM was my first session to focus my mind on. I listened actively to Sarah Gelbard speak about punk as being “neutralized,” or “ask a punk,” and “ask a punk academia.” She is a PhD candidate. She defines herself as a punk planner and architect. A punkarchitect! She said the Academy, conformity to institutions or university, does reject her feminist and or punk attitude. The title of her presentation, “Ask a punk: from informality to anti-formality and anti-authority and when to say fuck.” I felt an irritatingly shy stirring in her that filled the room. I have not felt that feeling for some time. Her integrity and honesty moved me. She mentioned storytelling may be a type of approach to her chosen field of study.
Robert Haworth was next, and his theme was on” radical learning spaces.” As an educator and practicing anarchist he shared some biographical stories about his punk rock experience. A theme that ran throughout his talk seemed to focus on building character. How society and educational (Academy) focuses a type of expendable economic character that forms our children. He mentioned a good book to study by Emma Goldman, “The Child and its Enemies.”
Session 5B: Punk Political Economies presented three panelists. What came forth here is that “We should consider continuing to support the cracks.” I enjoyed Kathryn Heffner speaking about women fanzine publishers of science fiction writing. Briefly I can say that I learned about the history of fanzines. She talked about the community formed by fanzines and how they communicated. It is about women and resistance. My heart about jumped out of my chest. She defined so many elements of what a fanzine is all about. It is about community, friends, and a subject. The punk scene is about friends and the continuity of friendships over time. I did not hear much about this at this conference! Kathryn did tell a short story about a sister zinester who misspelled a word and made a whole movement out of it. I about jumped up and screamed hallelujah. The point being that with fanzines the information is current and was often printed up quickly to spread like a good wildfire of communication. I knew this to be true. Her talk gave meaning to my community. We need to keep writing and self-publishing.
The final Session 21B. Decay, Ruins, Dystopias was very enjoyable and academic. S. Mark Gubb: “God So Loves Decay,” is an unusual perspective on achieving punk material. He is a PhD candidate. Simply put he had a friend read lyrics as punk poetry, UK Decay, in front of beautiful architecture in London (England… there abouts?). This is presented as performance art. My insight into what he said is that the archiving of punk repertories can inspire others to be creative. Taking archived material and recycling its essence to a new generation to use creatively.
Michelle Gonzales presentation made a strong comparison between George Orwell and Joe Strummer. Her brief history of punk, music and films as influencing a generation of punks is a bit superficial to me. Yet her argument was sound and interesting. I noticed how she compared their lives and their lifelong intentions. As she suggested, I am going to google the best of Utopian literature and do some reading. An honest look at what can move someone! A book and or a song.
Overall, I did not include everything from this punk academy conference. Yet in general I had a great time. My impression is that archiving punk is a very sound perspective and a reality for some such as Slash Magazine and MaximumRocknroll. I am not sure If I am ready yet to turn over my stuff. (as a friend said to me, “Take it out of the dusty garage” or something like that) Time will tell.
In moonlight Danced through the night Dancing in the white light Freedom from conditioned trance So stand so grand in decadence And the white light Danced through your stomach Pulls tight Tight pulls the chords of your empty heart In decadence The dance of decadence Defiant stance – a new decade Of decadence Realise your personal destiny Fighting the fat and prosperous Brood of mediocrity Once safe in its prosperity Now burns In decadence The dance of decadence The cry of truth – a state of mind – Call it youth Take up your part in the play Decapitate the day White eyed – hatchets high – luddite like In decadence Decadancing – you can be your own king You can be your own king In the dance of decadence Deca-deca-deca-decadance
It seems strange now but at 21 I thought life would not go on much longer. We were wild nonconformists ready to take on the status quo. Here we are years later. Some of us are still creatively pulling strong and talking about our wilder days.
Na, Na, Na, Na, Nooooooo ! !
August 1981: In this interview it was very exciting to talk to a co rebel, music wise. When we did this interview the Flipside crew included Pooch, Al, and myself. Mr. Lydon would see only one for the interview. Al got it. The interview went on for some time. Pooch and I got tiered of waiting in the car. It was a hot summer day in Hollywood. I went in the hotel lobby and walked into the pool area where the interview was taking place They were sitting under a large pool side umbrella. Mr. Lydon saw me. He frowned. I told Al I was sick of waiting! Pooch and I were thirsty and hungry. Mr. Lydon said,
“Oh, that is just an excuse to see me!”
The interview ended. He walked away. I guess he was 50 percent correct. Jerk!
This post is in celebration of Los Angeles Flipside Fanzine’s 10-year Anniversary Issue 1977 to 1987. which I will be presenting at Curating Resistance: Punk as Archival Method February 9 – 10, 2018 University of California, Los Angeles.
“But you’ve got the beauty and strength of love on your side. And if we can find our sense of humor too…why, these are the weapons of the angels.” ~ A Summer Place (1959)
I raised my kids on old school punk rock. That is not the only music playing but it had the noticeable charm that was part of my life and theirs. Particularly good character building.
Years after their attack on the punk rock world the Misfits first album was played in our car when the kids were young. I purchased the CD at Wal-Mart. They laughed and danced to the humor and wildness of this original punk music. I told them my adventures with the band. I informed my kids about a barefoot Glenn Danzig who was not much taller than my oldest son at 13. Maybe the thought of their long bangs hanging in their faces or their sense of humor is what made me love the band so much back in the 1980s… The Misfits are a big wig band now. I remember when they were youths and fun as hell to be with.
My youngest refers to me as “Mommy!” His voice is deep enough now, at 16 to echo Glenn’s voice from the song, “Mommy, Can I Go Out and Kill Tonight?” The Walk Among Us album is my all-time favorite Halloween punk album… ever.
Maybe it is in bad taste to think about this song. The violence and shooting in Las Vegas are not something to belittle in any way. Humor is something contradictory to the grief and horror we share now. The early punk scene had a whole lot of humor mixed in with the bad stuff.
President Donald J. Trump Proclaims October 15 through October 21, 2017, as National Character Counts Week
This is different to the soullessness of our current President. He has the character of a consuming black hole. It seems ironical that he could even think of this month as a time of National Character. I guess one can have anti-character. As the anti-man or doppelgänger. The only character Trump has is the mockingly strange lies that fly around him.
The only good quality that bounces off him, what I find about the anti-man is that he makes me laugh. Maybe there is a thread in his tiny soul that we can pull on. Maybe his poor soul is in bondage to his big ego? Somehow, we can tie his little meek soul to some astro zombies and pull it out of him?
“There is a contradictory tweet for almost every occasion. ”
`Alex Hindman, Fortune, “The Roots of Trump’s Hypocrisy,” 29 Aug. 2017
Lewis McAdams: In those days cool was a survival mechanism.
Big Frank asked Al if I was on the cover of issue number 50. He seemed a bit bugged. Al said no that is ed fROMOHIO of Firehose, they have an interview in the issue by Jon Mastumoto. It was our July 1986 issue. Purple cover ta boot. I saw no resemblance besides being a Noisy Cat. We were pleased with the cover.
Comrades of fanzine Ink Disease put up their interview with, “the Du” and so I felt a need to join in today. So many bands, fans, and contributors galore. Like I said before, there were many hands in the cookie jar. When we lose a friend from that tight matrix of friends of the punk scene we naturally mourn our loss, but we also share in their brilliance! When they lived with us on this short earth adventure. Wild music and rebellious dear friends, Grant Hartyou are one of the cool guys.
Last Sunday I met up with an author S. W. Lauden who told me he became a writer because of his first published item in Los Angeles Flipside Fanzine in the mid ’80s. It is good to hear inspirational stories. I was happy to know that. A nice continuity even though I did not guess that punk rock would find me at an event dedicated to Lewis McAdams in celebration with Friends of the Los Angeles River.
People talk about anarchy
And taking up a fight
Well I’m afraid of things like that
I lock my doors at night
I don’t rape, and I don’t pillage
Other peoples’ lives
I don’t practice what you preach
And I won’t see through your eyes
You want to change the world
By breaking rules and laws
People don’t do things like that
In the real world at all
You’re not a cop, or a politician
You’re a person too
You can sing any song you want
But you’re still the same
I can’t think of anything
That makes me more upset
People talk all this rhetoric
Forgive but not forget
I don’t rape, and I don’t pillage
Other peoples’ lives
I don’t practice what you preach
And I won’t see through your eyes
My Punk@lullaby Journals, one through four, are now included in my paperback book for sale on Amazon.
Past process of books are not for sale at this time. A DIY product.
I have always believed, and I still believe, that whatever good or bad fortune may come our way we can always give it meaning and transform it into something of value. ~Hermann Hesse
Los Angeles Flipside Fanzine is not forgotten.
This was my concern in 2004 when I began my memoir about the punk scene I was passionately involved with. That Flipside Fanzine would be forgotten. How many punk rock books are now being sold today that mention Flipside? Enough to satisfy me. My Punk@lullaby Journals, one through four, are part of this memory. As I repeatedly say, “There are many stories from the big punk rock. Mine is just one of them. Mine is a complimentary edition to read alongside the big punk rock books out there!” My Punk@lullaby Journals share in the tapestry of the whole worth of what the original Los Angeles punk scene was and has now become! Yes, I have heard the echoes of “another old punk rock story.” This is ok for me to hear now! I can” transform it into something of value!” It is good for an elder to share stories about life. This is an ancient archetype that I have taken on.
I did approach others to have my book published. I answered my need to publish it by doing it myself. All that I learned from the original punk scene was available to me. My mind and soul, a computer and printer and a bedroom converted into an office. The integrity of Flipside Fanzine shines through these little numbers I call journals. All four journals I published myself. I am happy! As I move into turning 60, I have done something of value by completing my project. I now share my journals with the public. I was close to 30 when I left the original punk scene! That terrifying year was 1989. Yes, all that first Saturn return and second Saturn return jazz is happening as I write this post now. A continuity that I also share for those that study the oldest of synchronicity wise sciences.
My stories are not perfect stories. If you desire to buy one, or all four, I hope while reading and reflecting on my stories you will find some good values for yourself. It was an extraordinary time and we were wild free journalists documenting a scene. No one told us what to do. We were punks publishing a punk ‘zine. We were running with a tight but growing punk scene. Nobodies of an underground culture. All individuals were unique yet part of a community of rebellious friends. I still endure the punk scene.