I realized that my bosoms had the power to make music!


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Blanche:  I was never a night person neither, until I blossomed into young womanhood and realized I was even more devastating’ by moonlight.

Dorothy:  Of course.

Blanche: I will never forget the night I made that discovery.  It was during the Spring cotillion.  I was wearing a long white dress and my first push-up bra.  And Bobby Buck McAllister and I were enjoying a glass of punch on the veranda when a beam of moonlight hit my cleavage.  Suddenly, the band began to play.  It was at that moment that I realized that my bosoms had the power to make music!

Dorothy:  Didn’t Bette Midler win a special Grammy for that?

~ The Golden Girls, 1.25 – The Way We Met

When the sexy older girls came by, I was often left up the tree or sliding down the hill on my own.


It is comforting watching The Golden Girls, because as an older woman I am entering that place; the place where a woman’s body changes. All experience, nurturing and sex somehow is devalued in this youthful patriarchal culture when one becomes an older woman.

The Golden Girls is something to be reckoned with. When I watch it, it is as if visiting with old friends, or maybe my mother or grandmother…wait is that me in the mirror? Yes, if we survive, we all will reach this place.

I feel the prejudice against me. I felt this against me when I was 12 years old, and I was not mature enough. As a tom-boy I could outrun, climb, and play sports better than most boys. When the sexy older girls came by, I was often left up the tree or sliding down the hill on my own.

When I was 15 that all changed. My DNA and hormones gave me a body that got me a date every night of the week. I still felt a prejudice. I did not speak or when I did no one listened. My body was seeking love, but sex rules these youthful years. As when they divided up the drive-ins in my hometown. Once a big screen became 6 screens.

I went out with a different guy each night and saw all the films in the drive in. For a year or two. Until I wised up and left that scene. A film expert or something else?

As the years passed, I spent less time thinking about my body as I developed my mind. Most of the time I found myself out thinking most guys but the girls that used their sex appeal always seemed to get the upper edge. Now I see older guys going for younger women a lot these days. More sex appeal instead of experience or intelligence is what these guys get.

Like my Casanova brothers have found out, the young girls are very slim pickings when you hit sixty… unless you got the big bucks.

As you get older; sex appeal, intelligence, money, and experience: all boils down to companionship when it comes to an authentic relationship.


I remember when making love was so easy… now it is complicated… and depressing.



The place of the breast…the heart and easy going.

Hudley water color 2008

Scatter the mold, of duality!

 Dystopia! is the vision of a society that is the opposite of utopia.

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Often from nowhere a quote from a book emerges from the underworld of my mind. It nags me. It bullies me to come forth in some profound way into the life that I am living. It is not my original thought but a thought of some other writer.

The quote has become a part of me. Fermenting for years until a time when the ripening of its identity needs to be expressed. One such quote now comes forth when I think upon what is possible between dystopia and utopia, which is the paradox of all possibilities.

Polarity, polarity, and polarity I am so fucking sick of polarity. 

Just see that we have a sun and a moon is enough to affirm this type of thinking. One can look at the United States Government as part of this as well. Two parties meet to have a dialogue of ideas are now creating a world of dystopia in the minds of we the people; we the people a utopian ideal.

Here is the paradox the place of real possibly. We the people need to think outside the box, we need to realize that polarity thinking forces us into a dystopia-utopia reality.

The particular quote that has come to mind is this:

Chiron teaches us the philosophical perspective and the perspective that our wildness, which may put us outside the status quo, may be our wisdom.

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The quote is from Astrology Beyond Ego by Tim Lyons. I have not looked at the book for quite some time. Understanding astronomy and applying astrology is beyond duality. It is a place of the profound and the magical, where perfection and imperfection function in a new way beyond duality.

You can call it magic, wisdom, spirituality, esoteric, mythology, or good politics. It is beyond heart and mind thinking because it is reasoning that moves through the solar plexus and the small and large intestines, as well as the womb in women.

It is intuition and our gut feelings and is powerfully creative. Here is where acquired knowledge and experience blends into knowing. Where synchronicity blows through us, the world, and the universe and into a book into a mind and out again.

This is where mythologies can be activated into a culture creatively through its archetypes. This is where we the people can come together collectively and effect change in our dystopia like government and our world.

Welcome to earth! Here patterns and rhythms and circular forms are the continuity of nature. Marking seasons of life and death every day between a dystopia-utopia reality, but for some, being wild and acting outrageous, is a way to break the hold, and scatter the mold, of duality and perfectionism.


 

prayer to gaia

prayer to gaia.

They help me to understand…


The mature Praying Mantis


I have never had a real person out-there mentor. My mentors have always been from books published by people long ago demised as William Blake or Carl Jung. When I read their work, it is not in a way as if to own it or to be an expert about their works. When I read their works, and see the images they have created, it is if they are here with me, beyond space and time showing me things.


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They help me to affirm what I know and support my experiences. They are my mentors in this life. They show me the big picture and they teach me, they still do, about how to live in this world. They show me how to use my imagination and to share what I have created.


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They help me understand power, strength, and insight. I have learned to love contradiction, humor, and metaphor. I have found bliss in creating mandalas, watercolors and grasping the hands of nature.
They guide me in confronting my fears and remind me that I am not alone in a complex world; Blake and Jung both reveal that uniqueness is a form of brilliance.

Also, we as humans shouldn’t strive for this without its complementary and sometimes contrary opposite, which is to learn to be alike and the same as the most common and mundane.


worth in this life

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s a 55-year-old woman who is in a cocoon stage of menopause, I am pulling away from the words and ways of regret. In my 30s I held on to the ‘shoulda woulda couldas,” these regrets once raced around in my mind; they went racing around in my mind and they took all energy from my life. As I melt here and reflect on life, I realize I am at a good chrysalis state of acceptance. I know my mind and heart. I know I can focus my mind on what I want to without peer pressure directing me. I know that my heart has a mind of its own and I let it do what it wants, this is creative inspiration. I write my stories, poems and angry editorials. I share my history and life. I have family, friends and mystery muses (who may not ever know who they are)! I am waiting, listening and focused. I do not hear an echo or sense a haunting of “shoulda woulda couldas” anymore. My ambition is null but like the purple flower from the novel, The Color Purple, I like to be noticed for my worth in this life.

“Shug: I think it pisses God off when you walk by the color purple in a field and don’t notice it.”

For me it is walking by a praying mantis and not noticing her. That must piss-off nature something awful!!


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Imperfection… another close to original post … celebrating ten years.. on WordPress..

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Imperfection is not understood much by humanity these days. I don’t like perfection. Every time I read a book and find an editorial error I scream out loud with joy!! Even with all of these professional editors, even with the many people with BAs, PhDs and years of experience, an error gets by their clamped anal eye. Stephen Hawking says that the cosmos came into being because of imperfection. I do not like the guy much but when he confirms this in his theory for the creation of the universe, something in me goes off and I feel a great sense of release. I am content with the imperfection of the cosmos.  Energy, gravity and imperfection, a nice kick in the butt to our rational mind…I like that!!

LOVE BIRDS: This is a warm up for Valentines day….

LOVE BIRDS: This is a warm up for Valentines day…..

Jester editorial to the arrogant and decadent…by Flopside Comics

One does not need to agree with this editorial…

One day in my master course at Mount St. Mary’s College in Los Angeles, I was in a Spiritual Direction course. The issue of priests and sexual abuse came up as a subject in class. It was an uncomfortable subject for us. My follow students, and believers in the Catholic Church, were in a strange kind of denial. It is not my faith so I can see outside their control panel.

The course was taught by an old Nun. She seemed very with-it and up to date on matters? She was a Spiritual Directive director on campus. She is a type of meditation, psychology, and spirituality advisory person. The Nun-teacher said that these abuse cases would help the Church and make the Church more authentic.  I said loudly and firmly in class,

“But sister, just one child abused is too much!”

“You have the right to your opinion…” is all she said back to me

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My “inner guide” was a flame and I almost got up and slapped her in the face. This happened only a few months before the first announcements and lawsuits towards the Archdiocese of Los Angeles, which was around 2004.

Yes, while in this Masters programs, I poked my head deep into the very foundation, laws, history and strange ways of the Catholic Church. As a Jester of High degree I have to know who my enemy is.

So this Ash Wednesday I will sport a red ash on my brow and where a green glove on my right hand.  To cherish life one does not rape children or mock the dead.  I will take my glove off and slap the air from the arrogance and decadence of this holy day. From my inner place I will imagine that sister-nun-teacher…. because I will be slapping her face…again and again… and again…

Editorial ahony

 

Lovely hearth

Elf by the hearth By Hudley

It was a cold winter’s night, like this one, when I heard a soft knock on the door. I was alone. I did not see my kitty Dudea around. When she gets outside she makes a similar sound on the front door when she wants in.

“Ok Dudea, just a minute!”

I got off the couch from the warmth of the fire while reading a book and listening to some Jazz. Yes my blissful moment was interrupted. I opened the door. I looked around and I did not see my kitty,

“Hello, it is very cold tonight. The rain is coming down. I only have this scarf to keep me warm. I smelled the fire smoke from you home. Would you mind if I stood in front of your fire to warm up?”

I blinked and then blinked again.

“Sure!”

He came in the house with a push of the wind and the smell of the earth came in with him.

“Oh what a lovely hearth you have my dear!”

“Thank you!”

The elf then became very still and quite. He has been with us for about five years now. I do not bother him. I only touch him to clean him. I have heard that the “little-folk” come and go and sometimes stay. Their time frame is much different then ours.

This evening is much like the one five years ago when our little elf came to rest; by the fire, by our hearth.

10 year Anniversary issue of Flipside Fanzine Table of Contents.


My wish is to re-publish this issue as a musical historical document of early Punk Rock…for current and future generations. It was so much work. We did it all with our commodore computer 128..Makes me proud !!


Dream come true…Chick Image to Purchase

Hudley Flipside author page at this easy to remember url! https://t.co/n16dd9LPBb via @amazon


Click on images below and order a T-Shirt or something …


Nose humor and gangsters… a serendipity tale..

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ose picking is not a popular topic but we all do it, some more gracefully than others. My music teacher, who was also my voice teacher, did it on stage with a tissue. When she sang opera on stage she could transform from being a 40-year-old woman to a youthful angelic being, and just as lovely while waiting for the class to get ready, with her finger up her nose. I watched her put that tissue with a finger way up there and then she pulled it out and acutely looked at it. She was not embarrassed or self-conscious about it either and I thought to myself,

“How does she do that…to pick ones nose and not care? Doesn’t she think about all of us watching her?”

My dad told me a story once. He was on Hollywood Blvd. and a big limousine pulled up alongside his car. They were both waiting at the stop sign when he saw a woman picking her nose in the back of the limousine. I guess in the 1940s not all big limousines had tinted windows. She looked over at Dad and seemed to blush and then she gave him a big smile. It was a youthful Elisabeth Taylor.

Hollywood and Santa Monica was the “cat’s meow” back then for movie stars, gangsters and the common folk. They mingled nicely back then. Things were spread out and people were intimate. Dad said that at some of the night clubs that he went to there were a number of actors and gangsters present. One night he said hello in passing to Bugsy Siegel while in a Santa Monica restaurant. He said his eyes were piercing blue and as cold as ice. I think this was a few days before he was actually found murdered. Maybe he wasn’t killed by the mob for money laundering or for his wheeling and dealing in Vegas; maybe they caught him picking his nose.


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A FULL YEAR!!

In my backyard

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It is a year for me on WordPress. I have tried posting every day. I love how this site has developed over the year. The pages and categories are improving. It is a focused and informative site. I want to say thanks to all of the individuals who added me to their follow list.

Cheers, thank you and a happy Imbolc ,

Hudley Flipside

A message for only my eyes to see


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Then I realized I was dreaming. I looked up and saw a large flangiprop object coming forth from the soft clouds towards me. It was a mighty object and was suspended in the air above me. Compared to the clouds this structure seemed firm like concert.

It was in the shape of a triangle and it had three large rims that resounded strength. This prop was held in the clouds on a magical stage in a paradoxical place that supported and sustained a message for my eyes only.