Improbably Negative.

Now autumn’s breeze blows summer’s leaves through my life
Twisted and broken dawn, no days with sunlight
The dying spark, you left your mark on me
The promise of your kiss, but with someone else
For the bitterest pill is mine to swallow.

~ The Jam.

The Plague Hospital, Fransisco de Goya

Once I knew only darkness and stillness… my life was without past or future… but a little word from the fingers of another fell into my hand that clutched at emptiness, and my heart leaped to the rapture of living.

~ Helen Keller

This was my first episode to the underworld initiated by a drug’s side effect.

One followed a few years later. Both times I made it back but not without a will of dynamite… I have become wiser. More resilient to the elements of Pluto and his world. He still mocks me, but I understand now what I went through both times is an ancient one and I was never alone but had to do the work myself. It is all about illumination from the darkness to the light.

The Twilight Zone can be pleasant before sunset when the sky sometimes bursts forth with color which should only be part of our dreams. Shadowy faces from light and shadow play move on trees and in corners of our streets.

Glen told me once if you investigate this type of twilight without focus and expand your vision to include your peripheral vision, a world of nature spirits will open to you. One can do this on stormy cloudy days as today.

Yet the twilight zone story that I am going to share is a focus around a character who almost got caught in this place between light and dark, where escape seemed improbably negative. The experience lasted a year.

After a negative reaction to a drug the woman seemed agitated and unable to lie down. She got up and tried to take a shower in her hospital room. Then the thought of running and jumping out the window seemed the logical thing to do. They stopped and sedated her. She was only in the hospital for a normal hospital colonoscopy.

Something went terribly wrong, and she ended up staying in the hospital for two days. Before leaving, a morning nurse accidentally gave her some Prozac. The supervising doctor thought she was crazy. Regardless, without a psychological evaluation the inescapable twilight zone began.

On the couch at home lights moved through her body, she experienced an electrical storm shooting up and down her spine. Anxiety crept up around her as a succubus that never left her side; He stretched out a large woven black sheet above her. It rested above the trees and over her life. Always waiting for something to come… she felt the twilight zone ever-present.

“She said to the nurse on the phone,

“Nurse I am so anxious; I think I will lose my mind.”

“Take deep breaths. A powerful drug has been released into your body.”

The battle for her mind began; throwing away all prescription drugs from stupid doctors: that made her feel crazy and in the toilet they went. She walked, took homeopathic remedies, herbs and waited for the opaque Madonna to make her first attack. She said to herself, “Will I ever feel normal again?” Her will alone brought her back slowly.

The dark illuminating entity that mocked her unfeeling steps was slowly replaced by light. In her dark mind a knowing grasped her that was just the opposite of a gamma-ray explosion; for it was the core of a cold etching, calculating, scientific, and faithless mind.

Though she could not focus on watching TV for weeks, she slowly began to watch sitcoms. The humor, family problems and stupid antics of Tim Taylor from the series Home Improvement chased the boogie man away. Friendly books off dusty shelves and talking her walks in nature also helped her out of the dark twilight zone.

The feelings of a normal life began to move her. Music, live music, dancing, and beer gave her the gifts of beautiful punk rock rituals! Once again, she felt the loving and beating hearts of her children.

“The rapture of living.”

Youngest son at 14.

Prednisone Rape…

Chiron

This morning the light from a hanging crystal outside was playfully illuminating the image of Chiron with arched and broken rainbows on the wall of our living room.

Image relief / Stencil of Chiron 1995

Son laughed at Chiron and said,

“He has man-boobs!”

Laughing I threw a pillow at Son and replied,

“He is a Hermaphrodite maybe…?!”

I found a friend today. An image made from a stencil, back in the day when apartment living came alive with a little art project. This is Chiron.

He travels in our solar system between Saturn and Uranus.

This planetoid has a way of doing his magic that we mystics know about.

This is a personification and mythological image relief of Chiron. I’d been looking for him over the years. I could not find the original stencil, yet the image found me as I was actually working on another project. He just appeared in a large drawing paper book.

A heartfelt ostentatious time to surprise me and now he’s on a viewing wall again.

Mantis Jazz cafe

Going to make a Liverwurst sandwich with Roma tomatoes on French bread with mayonnaise and mustard; a couple drips of grape seed oil and vinegar. Salt and pepper and baby I will chase that steamy Pluto away.

I saw her come out after the boys, from that steamy deep place, all I could do was shake my head…knowing that she was a friend. I saw the steam come up and her t-shirt was damp. How many guys from the band came out of there? Who knows…?

Dreams…those dreams can be washed away with a film, food and a cup of Coffee . My libido is somewhere down there. Up here I don’t want to exercise or talk romance… maybe a few hours in the garden will chase steamy Pluto away.

The saxophone and the xylophone move baby move me into the cool zone…

Moon Warning Mantis Style!!

Dark, deep and deliberate.

The call of the Holy Grail.

The last slap by the Femme Fatale of winter.

You can find yourself or your creative self or

long-lost love!!

Hear the pull a sucking sound? Feel the pull inward, a crazy fruitful feeling. This is a time of being pulled in. Blame it on the solar system. A time to get pregnant, a time to consider those feelings you have been ignoring. We are being seduced by forces stronger than we will ever know!!

The gibbous waning moon is in Scorpius today, February 24, and this is causing a really unbelievable maximizing sucking action. WOW! The moon is disrobing and is about to jump into the ocean of Neptune. A riptide pulls her in towards a new moon, towards Pisces on March 1st and the 2nd. Venus and Pluto are only enjoying this love affair with our unconscious mind…a good show!!

The sun comes in to break up the party and the moon steps out of her Lilith encounter. March and Spring are on the way after this inward journey.

So, prepare yourselves. If not, I suggest a lot of Maker’s Mark to kill the pain because this dame is going to ask you who you are, and if you don’t tell her, she will tell you, herself…up close too…pretty good work for a pushy dame!!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Femme_fatale

For A Pigeon, Nikola Tesla

Last night in a dream I was directly asked,

“What is your purpose?”

“There are but two roads that lead to an important goal and to the doing of wonderful things: strength and perseverance. Strength is the lot of but a few privileged men; but austere perseverance, harsh and continuous, may be employed by the smallest of us and rarely fails of its purpose, for its silent power grows irresistibly greater with time.”

― Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, Faust: First Part

Since reading his biography years ago, Nikola Tesla means more to me than the alternating currents that his insight, intuition, and imagination brought to humanity. He had a strange kind of ambition that was not based on personal gain or money.

He felt the true need to help humanity. I see him as a glimpse into our human future, if it is not too late, where humanity can work tighter together with nature creating with his kind of passion; To create incredible things based on insight, intuition, and imagination.

Tesla’s mother was also a creative person like her son; his father was a Serbian orthodox priest. He grew up in the village of Smiljan, Austrian Empire.

He grew up close to nature where clear streams and a nearby mountain broke out with electrical storms, both teaching Nikola about the flow of nature. The manifestation of all that is; is part of us, nature, and the cosmos. Nikola memorized Goethe’s Faust forward and backwards. He used quotes from Faust as a form of meditation to block out the sometimes-overwhelming sensitivity he had to the noises of life.

“Everything transitory is but an image.”

~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, Faust: First Part

With all that Tesla had to offer humanity he fell short of his dreams due to the lack of understanding in the times when he was born. Racing forward to create via the means of power and money was not Tesla’s dream.

He died a lonely man if not for a pigeon. The point being is he did what he did for love. He worked by and for it. He broke both legs. Symbolically he did this for us and the earth.

Tesla’s strange and mysterious life is based on integrity. If I have learned anything from this great man, I have learned this, and I base my life on it; everything I do is based on love, integrity and not power or money.

To create something based on love is like giving birth to a child. It is insight, intuition and imagination manifested and it is intrinsically physical too.

Having this as a basis for life one cannot walk the ambitious path only trying to get somewhere for fame or fortune. Instead, one might be asking why and for what? It is not what Tesla has left us more valuable as the why and for what?

Does he not answer that for us? The importance of living life and what may be in the way?

This is a riddle that Nikola has helped me solve! It may not be profitable, glorious, or popular, but walking the motif of love based on insight, intuition, and imagination…makes the breaking of legs all worthwhile in the difficulties of life.

A flower in my hand picture taken by my mother… RIP.

Egg sandwich

Everything but the kitchen sink, Sister Sallie and I use to get together and make egg sandwiches, coffee and talk.

Mom used to hum in the kitchen, in the bathroom dad sang his little jazz hum. Once in the mist of hospital unconsciousness, he broke out in one of his heart-warming songs, bringing back a little security of youth. Now my youngest son complains about my humming; like a bird, cricket, cocka doodle do or yanky doodle dandy!!

This humming took me over about 3 months ago during times or moments of contentment while working. Yet, it has caused some problems in my little honey home. When my son is studying, I hear,

“Mom, you’re doing it again!”

I am guilty of this, and I try to stop, yet it is almost impossible. So, see, even though I was just as irritated by my mom’s and dad’s humming as my son is of mine, I tell him this,

“Little dude, humming means mama is happy baby. You should be happy that mama is happy!!”

In conclusion I’ve been waiting many years… I think I am finally going to go out and buy some darn Doc Martens…mine will be green!!

The song below is my Doc Martens song…. This has been a self-fashioning and self-styling statement.

Maxed-out Cooperate Chihuahua bark

LA Madam 1986

2359247,RHiWxIYOZM4_DKBBV4Zps9RB9BzKFkCGLc9MaJ6FCNZQKXpUImk5zedcpGARclisRsOgZPo21DBk1HOxAsM8iA==

Diversity is maxed out where I live. My kids are experiencing a vastly different community from mine. I ask myself,

“Are we still living in the same place where I grew up ?”

My mind says yes.

Now every home is a community in itself. Not like the open community I came from, where families knew each other and did the same things together. Change is a great thing but it can make it hard to blend in and make friends. The kids don’t have an issue with it but it is harder for the parents.

Today I am watching the big trucks put new asphalt on our street and I ask myself this question,

“How can I avoid the winter Olympics?”

This is one global community that turns me off. Cooperate powered youthful competition does not interest me at all. My house is winter Olympics free!!!

From the, out there, global communities to the, right here, local community, I am a bit disappointed. Instead, I have created a great computer community for myself. One that stirs my many interests and friendships tighter together. My brother Greg told me once,

“We now have to create our own communities…!”

I just read in Harper’s magazine an editorial by James Marcus entitled Easy Chair: Dodge the Draft! Yes there are politicians trying to get that darn thing going again. In the article it states Representative Rangel;

“I am saying that everyone should have to make a commitment to national service.”

Pg. 7 March 2014

Maybe he is right, but let’s do a twist on this. In my community a growing number of massage parlors are opening up like wild-fire, which is most likely putting the elegant and expensive Madams out of business. Hey, if you can get it cheap and dirty, with an illegal young woman, why not?

Let’s legalize prostitution. I have written about this before. Let’s be open about this. Women from 16 to 23 can do their national service. The big wigs all use them, as well as the perverts. So why not make it up front. This way the young gals can save up some big money for their future college educations. This is before they get married and have children of course:

A much better alternative than giving their lives to the war machine, now that they could get drafted. This might give us a happy community, locally and nationally while putting those cheesy massage parlors out of business and opening up some quality Madam owned Federal brothels. Our women deserve better, especially those women who have come here to make a fresh start from another country.

They could put their 2 to 3 years in national service and become legal citizens. Hey that is what I did pretty much from 15 to 19 anyway… why not get paid good money for it.

Locally my community is very diverse. We have a few hip cats and many types of dogs in our neighborhood The new neighbors, a few houses down from us, let their little Chihuahua bark all night long. I finally had to go over to their house in my pajamas last night,

Knock knock, noticing the beautiful stain glass window on their front door; a young man answered the door.

I introduced myself,

“Hello”

“We have been very patient with your barking dog. My husband has to get up early in the morning; if you don’t bring your dog in we will have to call the cops!”

“Call the cops then!” He said.

I then asked him his name as a way to nicely balance out my Adam 12 assholism. He of course shut the door in my face, I don’t blame him. I wasn’t going to call the cops but I was feeling rather put upon. The dog stopped.

How strange life seems these days with local and global diversity. So much news and so many changes around every corner …even in my little neighborhood! Yet, the continuity of an irritating barking dog will never change. This is what I look for in life, those things that may help me to feel normal and safe…like the barking dog.

At least the little Chihuahua got me out and over to say hello to our new neighbors. That dog barks all the fucking time too…day and night. I can hear the dog right now!!

Coyote Hill

The Verdugo Mountains, image taken from my family home where I grew up.

“The Verdugo Mountains are a small, rugged mountain range of the Transverse Ranges system in Los Angeles County. Sometimes called “the Front Range,” the Verdugos are entirely surrounded by urban development. The Verdugo Mountains represent an isolated wildlife island.”

Saying goodbye to my family home that I was born to and grew up in is difficult. Seeing Coyote Hill as one of the last hills not to be claimed by a house is rewarding and comforting to me.

On top of Coyote Hill one can almost see the whole San Fernando Valley. It is close to a 360-degree view.

The Verdugo Mountains, Warner Center, turning {when it was farmland with horses and cattle}, Canoga Park, turning, Topanga Canyon, turning, the Santa Monica Mountains, turning and then back to Woodland Hills; then to the house where I grew up.

Climbing to the top of Coyote Hill was a natural workout depending on the time of year. In summer and autumn, it is mostly dry dirt. During winter towards spring the hill had all sorts of wild weeds, flowers, and herbs. My favorite time is when the tall green grass and the purple lupine grew. The worst time is the beautiful but dangerous wild purple thistle that tore up your legs or the fox tails that got caught in my socks.

How many times did I climb Coyote Hill to get away to the place where silence was reachable? I followed the peaceful breeze and experienced the free and wonderful cool blowing sounds of life.

Silence is a more peaceful feeling inside than the absence of sound. Coyote Hill supplied all the silence a growing child needed!

While walking or driving by in-car or on my bike, I have watched a few wild coyotes take the path up this hill. Once on the very tip-top one turned to look at me.

My mom’s dreams come true.

She told us about the dreams she had where houses would be built up all around our home. Houses cover the hills now, but not Coyote Hill. As kids, my friends and I would tear down the realtor for sale signs to stop the builders. We could not stop them.

In my dreams I see a big gazebo on Coyote Hill. A path climbs up to it and a path down the other side. It is a free place for anyone to experience wild silence. In my dream I interfere with the natural cycle and plant some native California plants mixed with lots of lavender, rosemary, and sage. I would also supply some sort of water source for the dry months of summer and autumn.

Wild thistle.

A new home for the family Buddha

No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path.

Buddha

Buddha tell me what is it like to be taken to a new home?

“Placed facing the east and in alignment with the path of the constellations over many years. I find that I am now facing south-west. This is a great surprise. Tonight I will see the sunset!!“

Buddha do you miss the shade of the Eucalyptus tree where you once pondered the questions of life?

“I do sense a distant echo and delightful smell of the Eucalyptus tree, but now I have new senses for my delighted soul !“

Buddha tell me have you lived a good life so far?

“I have only witnessed life around me. I have felt anger, love and forgiveness. I have seen lots of booze consumed over the years. All life is good!!“

Buddha I have a another question for you?

“Please I feel off right now… I am lost in a whirlwind of new feelings !“

You seem balanced again, Buddha do you think you will be happy in your new home?

“I am in tune now with the light of this place and will be fine !!“

Buddha How do you feel?

“I am like an old temple with a wide open altar that goes right down to the rawness of the earth’s heart, I am happy…“

Buddha I see you.

“And I see you and know you.”

So Buddha let’s be friends?

“Yes to all that come by. I will be seeing them…the life that comes by. The many. I am not hidden anymore…“

Our new home for a family Buddha: Come visit anytime!!

Buddha enjoys sunset…

glorious reverence !

Today I heard a friend describe another friend as Lame and Stupid… now at Flopside Comics this is a holy fucking royal term that is to be honored with glorious reverence !! Here we all have it tattooed on our butts and since this is the case…we will not show it. But it is there just the same…

A happy after fucking valentines day toast …

To the Lame and Stupid…!!

Stupid

http://it.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=stupid

Lame

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=lame

American black and white shorthair

“You cannot imagine the kindness I’ve received at the hands of perfect strangers.”
―W. Somerset Maugham

Karma, synchronicity and continuity speak to me, along with the freedom of the heart that is sometimes rascelulion in nature, and this all points to something beyond us. It can be personified in the many words of religion, science or art, yet it is only personifications which point to something beyond the personifications. Energy, movement, knowing and grace; help, letting go and responsibility are the showing ways or actions of Karma. These are the ways to know karma or dharma; to see or sniff them out is something bound by cause and effect.

Last night I had a difficult decision to make. My heart said one thing and my mind another. My back ached with stress because I knew I had to let go, or not act on something. This is not comfortable territory for me. I have the sin of codependency. I have read all the books and have learned that sometimes doing nothing is the best thing we can do for another. I did nothing. Today Karma, synchronicity and continuity spoke to me. As Mr. Myyoki, a religious studies professor, Buddhist priest and Jungian theorist, said to me in class, “don’t take on someone elses Karma.” I can take on my own.

Albertsons went out of business. I now shop at Ralphs. I went shopping without any bags and was given two simple brown bags filled with groceries. Today I went to another store, and today I remembered to take out my many-colored shopping bags for groceries, even the two simple brown paper bags. At the checkout line I consciously looked at the two bags and said,

“I will put these aside.”

When putting the groceries in the back of the car I again looked at the bags and thought,

“I will put these two brown paper bags aside.”

I was driving home on Roscoe Blvd. ,driving over the bridge that goes over the drainage ditch, and saw a cat. The cat had been ran over and was dead in the middle of the street. As I passed by I noticed that the cat looked just like one of my cats. I was miles away from home. I turned around and parked in the middle of a four lane street. A strong image came to mind of the two simple brown paper bags. I ran out and stopped the heavy traffic. I pulled the cat to safety by the tail. I opened the back of the car and pulled out the bags. I slowly put the cat in one bag and then covered the deceased animal by the other bag, While doing this a man pulled up in his car and parked.

He was a middle ages african american who was dressed casually. He spoke with kindness and with clear words. He had a cell phone and called the proper authorities to take care of the cat. He stopped traffic for me, and then we placed the cat across the street near the base of the bridge and told the authorities where the American black and white shorthair was. We said a prayer and held hands and walked back to our cars.

Two strange people and a dead cat In the middle of the city surrounded by heavy traffic, what is the probability of this?

We both made the right decisions today. Some person somewhere is going to have a nightmare.; about a cat they ran over tonight, a hit and run.

‘You gave me some faith today, I needed it. Thank you for your help!” I said.

“You gracefully took the cat and cared for him, thank you. You have given me some faith in humanity!” Said the man.

My decision to let go was the right one. My decision to take action and help a cat was a right decision too. These are examples of karma, synchronicity and continuity. When I got home I hugged my kitties until they pushed me away with their paws. We cannot control our life completely. Death will come when it will. But when we find kindness in strange places with srangers, this is karma, synchronicity and continuity working at it’s best. It does not end here either !!

To Robert the nice man.

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2014/02/12/daily-prompt-karma-chameleon/#like-69054

Humulus Lupulus day!

Mr. Fuck and STONE RUINATION… have a happy fucking Valentines day !!

http://www.stonebrew.com/

‘De trop’,no way !

KAREN: I guess at this point I am what the French call ‘de trop?’

BILL: (smiles) Maybe just a little around the edges.

~ All About Eve

Either you repeat the same conventional doctrines everybody is saying, or else you say something true, and it will sound like it is from Neptune.

~ Noam Chomsky

The sciences are a good thing. Rover on Mars looking back at the Earth is amazing. Yet reading Dante Alighieri’s biography I find that he studied liberal arts courses,

“Which offered Latin, geometry, arithmetic, astronomy (actually astrology) and music was to be passionately attached all his life.”

During the Middle Ages science, art and music were not separate as they are today. With astrology, the planets affect us. Now I wonder how our Earth affects those on Mars or the other planets in our solar system?

My point being is that science is a very bare bones reality where all its theories are well supported, at least enough to go to other planets via technology.

I feel what makes Dante so special to me is that he is the perfect person who, at one time, brought together science, art, and music. He is the perfected human being who shows us that having a soul is part of the human equation of being, and with an honest spirit humanity inspires to know all the stratosphere of human nature.

We are accountable for ourselves in a divine way. A highly creative solution to the problem of humanity!!! Humor included as Mr. Dante is no fool on this matter!!

Oldest son is just starting a physics course today at the local university. We often debate what is real and what is illusion, as two Gemini our Mercury fires up with heated dialogue.

And then there is Neptune. I love Neptune, the color and mystery of its round luminosity. I hear this week Mercury goes retrograde right into the belly of Neptune, astrologically speaking of course.

The week ahead is a time to feel. As Luna waxes strong into Valentine’s Day, it is a time of a kind of inner pregnancy of feelings; it may be a delightful time if we do not anally analyze too much.

I have decided to do the tango with Mercury, Luna, and Neptune this week…a threesome may be fun!! I will go with the flow, dance sweet and low and get it on the go.

Until next time … fin

My Valentine’s Day Film Pick

Now for a fun musical from 1969, Paint Your Wagon which brings us Humor, romance and vibrant scenery.

Starring Lee Marvin, Clint Eastwood, and Jean Seberg.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paint_Your_Wagon_%28film%29

Good Hitler, Bad Hitler

Son is learning about the Holocaust. He said it is a very sad subject and he needed to get outside and let go of some of his emotions. He calls this “Good Hitler, bad Hitler” and I interpret it as drumming rain dance. I was dancing in a circle around and around. I am hoping for some more Southern California rain!!

About 8 minutes long (he broke another stick….)

(May not be able to view with Windows Internet Explorer)

Vase Of Pink Lilies

Driving down Mason

Saturn is smooth

The clouds above

The sun rays through the trees

As if playing this song

Dancing light and shadow instrument

All the intervals perfectly synched

With the sounds from my car radio…

It all synchronized

It united in a few moments

I almost burst with joy…

555, Something like a Fairy Tale

When you see this sign a life changing thought or event has just occurred. You may not like it, or you may.

Whatever the case your Spirit Guides are notifying you that a change in your life path direction has just occurred and it is time for you to change too. Move with it, follow these thoughts.

This is a true story.

It happened to me last night. I am still glowing in the wonder of it. The image chose above inspired me. I put some thought into writing something about it. I had no idea that this would happen to me. I have done some meditations using Pluto as a focal point of meditation. This was my first impression of the above image. That it was a door to the underworld.

It was 4:00 in the morning and was extremely cold and dark. The sound of cats running along the old wood floor was the only sound that was noticeable; besides the little water fall in the fish aquarium. I got out of a warm bed. I walked through the kitchen. I reached for the tablets that relieved my back pain. The white French doors of many windows contrasted with the ink night.

The lights above dimly gave the room a soft pink tone. This was my bed away from the bedroom. The couch supported my sore body. Covering myself with a purple knitted blanket I curled around the big red pillows and looked into our hearth. It was black as ink. White cement blocks were the structure of our hearth and fireplace.

I wondered about an image I recently saw of arches of red brick that moved away in perspective into darkness; a brick tunnel that moved forward into ink black darkness. I reflected on the image and wondered about it and the cold dark fireplace.

“How similar the fireplace and image look! This may be a way into the world of Pluto or a crypt that leads towards death. Oh, it is a very silent dark night! The image symbolizes fear and death,” I said reflectively.

It was an enjoyable time for a fire, but I was cozy and warm. I was too tired to light one. A cat pinned me down and was purring curled up beside my curved legs. The waxing gibbous moon was now far away from the horizon.

“No fire now Kitty… “

And oft to sleep I went.

Then suddenly my body and eyes glowed and awoke to the light.

“Rumbling crackles and the roar of a lion wind came forth out of the hearth.”

I felt heat all over my body and tossed my blanket off. The room filled with light. I turned my head to see a fire in the fireplace. The hearth that was dark from the cold now was warm and inviting. There was a fire going strong in the fireplace. I don’t have a clue how this happened? I was in shock.

“But how can this be?”

Running into my oldest son’s bedroom I found that he was not home. His room was dark. My youngest son was fast asleep. Husband was woken up by my words,

“Did you light the fire?”

“No!” He said, even though I asked him many times. I told him what happened, but he fell back asleep.

“How could this be?”

My mind was filled with fear and wonder. My heart and mind filled with thoughts and feelings of fairy tales.

“Is this magic, spirits, or nature spirits, I wonder if this is a manifestation of this?”

A room filled with light that blazes forth is not a pleasant thing to wake up to. I reflected on the meaning of light coming forth from darkness, it is an amazing thing to witness.

I have read about such things happening. It is another thing to have it happen and to strangely witness it.

When my oldest son came home it was about 10 minutes after the event. I told him the story. We went over all the possibilities of why it happened.

“Sleep walking maybe or maybe you just forgot that you got the fire going?’

“No, I would have heard someone sleep walking and no, I did not light it!!”

We gave up and just accepted that it happened. Although not knowing for what crazy reason. I am glad that my son was witness to the fire. It was a strange fire that seemed to start suddenly and not to last as long as it should.

We use 3-hour logs in our fireplace. He went to bed, and I stayed on the couch curled up. I was not scared or worried about the fire.

I did think about Persephone. She is part of the underworld too. Her mythology is a big part of my life. For me she represents winter and spring, death, and rebirth, and light and dark.

Maybe this is what it means. I am curious to know what it means. This went through my mind over and over again. What is the probability of such a thing happening?

It is not the first time I have experienced such an event, although this mysterious event is the most startling and overwhelmingly physical one. It was not a movie, dream, or book I was reading. This really happened to me, and it is wild.

I fell into the mystery of what had happened.

The red warmth of the otherworldly fire in my hearth seemed charmed now. There was a fresh sweetness in the air as I fell asleep. I awoke to an exceedingly small fire and the need to check the clock. I ran into my bedroom to see the time, it was 5:55 am.

Morning time has come, now to get up and ready for the day. The music alarm clock was set to go off at 6 am. The fire was now completely out. The horizon was pink mixed with cypress trees. I took a shower, got dressed and prepared breakfast.

I have a good feeling in my belly now about the mysterious. That at the end of any dark tunnel of cold bricks that arch into darkness there may be a marvelous light waiting there, one that we may not see now.

A blazing light is waiting to find us, and that Fairy tales are still alive and living among us, just waiting to amaze us. We still need to share this magic!!

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2014/02/03/inspiration-images-1000-words/

Slow Grooves

Someday, after mastering the winds, the waves, the tides and gravity, we shall harness for God the energies of love, and then, for a second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.

~ Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

Routine is a good thing. It creates grooves in our brain. Makes us feel part of something dependable. Inspirational random unusual acts help the brain to expand and grow. This puts us outside of our comfort zone. We create new grooves in our brain. This is an intellectual process that we need to keep on going. As in a vinyl record, sometimes we can get caught up in the same old grooves. Although this is comfortable for us of course, sometimes we need to listen to different tunes and expand our sensitivities.

A country and their government do get caught up in a simple safe motif as well.

I suppose good capitalism, as well as communism, can work progressively, which is letting these Inspirational random unusual acts of change motivate a culture or community or person for the better. Over a long period of time a stream or river can wear down big rocks, So too can progressive and humanistic was of creating. It is subtle change but slaps our awareness as noticeably unusual, It is happening right now under our noses. I like what I see.

This must inspire hopefulness in our hearts.

This cold Monday morning I went shopping at Ralphs Grocery. I have not been there for a long time. I noticed these Inspirational random unusual acts of change. It is happening ever so slowly. Progressive and healthier products are being sold to the community, More and more every day.

Just some silly thoughts while drinking my coffee.

Sorry , but I am happy !!

Along with clearing the garden, seeing Savage Republic, making a homemade root beer float and listening to my kid drumming live: this makes the weekend shine with wonder.

Savage Republic

Charlotte is happy !!

Don’t they make it look so sexy and loving… something that adds to the moment…?

Walking home from Jr. High School, or at the drive in as a teenager; I smoked a few cigarettes. They started out wild and forbidden but always turned me green before I threw-up. I remember hanging my clothes outside on the clothes line after going to punk rock shows during the 70s and 80s. I hated the smell of cigarettes, goating anyone I knew that smoked. I became anal about it. The tobacco industry is a death corporation of the highest degree; knowing this country is founded on the tobacco industry, thoroughly disgusted me. Then about 5 years ago I flipped my position on this. My mom came down with lung cancer. She was not a smoker.

One evening while walking around the neighborhood I saw a pack of Marlboro cigarettes. The pack was near a neighbor’s home that had a sound studio in the back of their garage. I knew it must have been theirs. Part of my religiosity is to practice the medicine wheel. Native American Indians offer tobacco to the north, east, south and west. In regards to my mom, I would start to make such an offering via the tobacco smoke. Symbolizing the smoke travels up to the spiritual realms bringing a response from my medicine allies. I stared my ritual with this pack.

“A prayer for mom,” I thought.

I like how it tasted. It ironically took away the grief, sadness and hopelessness I was feeling. I started to buy more packs. I only smoked in secret and occasionally at a pub, or at a show. It became a secret routine that my kids found out about. They did not like it.

“I will stop when I am ready.” I told them.

They would find a pack and throw it away. I would just buy another.

I had a crush on the experience of cigarettes. I could not get them out of my mind. I would drive around town listening to loud music while smoking cigarettes, and for a time It made me feel bad, nasty and rebellious. I was a wild punk again !!

After mom passed away, I lost my desire for cigarettes. I continued to try different kinds. Nat Sherman Cigarettes were fun to smoke. I missed the craving crush I had for them. Then I started to get sick smoking and I stopped. The crush was gone. I occasionally take one out and smoke it; two puffs are all it takes to make me feel as sick as a dog. I am over my affair with Cigarettes! In all the entire affair lasted about two years.

Some times you got to fight fire with fire…I believe it served some sort of purpose in my life.

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